Chuck Norris Facts

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LauraMacNCheese
LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
in Chit-Chat
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

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  • chelleymarie88
    chelleymarie88 Posts: 775
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    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
  • nekosimba
    nekosimba Posts: 239 Member
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    Chuck Norris does not flush....he scares the s*** out of it.
  • ionlyhavesporx
    ionlyhavesporx Posts: 120
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    Chuck Norris isn't gay.... He just ran out of women...
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a vampire, the vampire turns into Chuck Norris.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
  • chelleymarie88
    chelleymarie88 Posts: 775
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    When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a vampire, the vampire turns into Chuck Norris.

    LMAO
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    Handicapped parking is reserved for Chuck Norris. The picture shows what will happen to you if you take his spot.
  • chelleymarie88
    chelleymarie88 Posts: 775
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    Chuck Norris once explained "sound" to a deaf person.
  • RobynC79
    RobynC79 Posts: 331 Member
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    My fave (evolutionary biology degree, so I'm biased...)

    There is no evolution by natural selection, only a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    I'm so bummed I have to leave right now. These are cracking me up.
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
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    Chuck Norris once gave a group of kids a bunch of his used belt buckles. These kids are now known as the Power Rangers!

    Why do they call him Walker Texas Ranger? Because Chuck Norris don't run.

    Chuck Norris pulls over cops

    The hulk gets Chuck Norris hands for christmas

    Handicapped parking is reserved for Chuck Norris. The blue picture shows what will happen if you take his spot.
  • sportsforfun
    sportsforfun Posts: 353
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    Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
  • chelleymarie88
    chelleymarie88 Posts: 775
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    Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    Al Gore is trying to utilize the coolness of Chuck Norris to stop Global Warming
  • pucenavel
    pucenavel Posts: 972 Member
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    Chuck Norris isn't lactose intolerant. He just doesn't take any crap from milk.
  • chelleymarie88
    chelleymarie88 Posts: 775
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    Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
  • Huffdogg
    Huffdogg Posts: 1,934 Member
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    When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a vampire, the vampire turns into Chuck Norris.

    Logical fallacy: vampire teeth cannot pierce Chuck Norris' skin. Also, if a vampire turned into Chuck Norris, the critical mass singularity would implode the universe.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    When some people get punched, they see stars. When stars get punched, they see Chuck Norris
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the earth down.

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