Chuck Norris Facts

13

Replies

  • kashmyre
    kashmyre Posts: 105 Member
    Chuck Norris' calendar goes from March 31 to April 2nd, 'cause nobody fools Chuck Norris.
  • cjones0992
    cjones0992 Posts: 55 Member
    Chuck Norris blows bubbles with beef jerky.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    hilarious-chuck-norris-facts_uot-i_2.jpg
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom...there is not protection from Chuck Norris

    They once made Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take any *kitten* from anyone.
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
    Chuck Norris once took an entire bottle of sleeping pills...he blinked.
  • ElisetheQ
    ElisetheQ Posts: 58 Member
    Chuck Norris can make Batman cry.
  • ElisetheQ
    ElisetheQ Posts: 58 Member
    Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies; he played the Force.
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
    Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas
  • lissypriss
    lissypriss Posts: 157 Member
    Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands...now they are just The Islands...
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

    hahhahahaa
  • cjones0992
    cjones0992 Posts: 55 Member
    Chuck Norris does not sleep......he waits.
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
    There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    Chuck Norris is the reason George Michael is never going to dance again.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    If God and Satan got into a fight, Chuck Norris would win.
  • ruby_red_rose
    ruby_red_rose Posts: 321 Member
    Chuck Norris knows Vicotoria's secret :)
  • Cassi_Eats_Apples
    Cassi_Eats_Apples Posts: 235
    Chuck Norris jokes are soooo mainstream.

    /hipstershrug
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
  • runbyme
    runbyme Posts: 522 Member
    Chuck_Norris-1.jpg

    OMG!! The WINNER! To funny! May I enter my laughing as cardio?! :laugh:
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    Chuck Norris was once driving in a truck, and a drop of his sweat fell onto the leather seat.

    That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

    ROLFMAO :)
  • craig1970
    craig1970 Posts: 139 Member
    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

    LMAO
  • SweetProgression
    SweetProgression Posts: 65 Member
    They called Chuck Norris "Walker" because that's what you'll need after he walks all over you
  • CharityPearce
    CharityPearce Posts: 215
    Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin, which he built with his own two hands. (So love Chuck Norris jokes)!
  • jessicajoy87
    jessicajoy87 Posts: 905
    I LOVE Chuck Norris jokes! I used to watch Walker all the time with my dad!


    Chuck Norris is the reason ET went home!

    Chuch Norris will never have a heart attack, his heart isn't foolish enough to attack him!

    Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night!

    When the boogy man goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • MummyOfSeven
    MummyOfSeven Posts: 314 Member
    Courtesy of my son:

    At Chuck Norris' bachelor party, he ate the entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

    Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

    Chuck Norris once donated ten litres of blood. After that he won the Tour de France on a pogo stick.

    It never rains on Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik's Cube and poop it out solved.

    Chuck Norris is not God, but he beats him at golf.

    Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone just by rubbing it on his beard,

    Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy.

    Chuck Norris' bloodtype is D.O.A.

    You're welcome :laugh:
  • CharityPearce
    CharityPearce Posts: 215
    Chuck Norris owns a piece of property in the Atlantic. It's often referred to as "The Bermuda Triangle". Chuck Norris does NOT like intruders. : )
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    Chuck Norris can beat you in a game of connect four in three moves.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    Chuck Norris was shot today. The bullet's funeral is tomorrow.
  • craig1970
    craig1970 Posts: 139 Member
    Chuck Norris was shot today. The bullet's funeral is tomorrow.

    Love this ^^^
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
    Chuck Norris is an action verb.

    :laugh:
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