Trying not to be jealous

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  • LeanerBeef
    LeanerBeef Posts: 1,432 Member
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    Attention getting or not she is speaking positivity which has a tendency to make things happen. The negative person tends to stress out more thus inhibiting themselves. Positivity breeds positivity...negativity breeds negativity and let's face it, the two personalities drive eachother nuts. Good luck.

    ^^^What she said!!
  • twanthe1
    twanthe1 Posts: 407
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    Things are not always what they seem, a lot of folks who brag all the time have serious issues.
  • amyofftherecord
    amyofftherecord Posts: 64 Member
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    If she's constantly posting those updates on Facebook, it's because she feels she *needs* the validation of constant praise. Pity her.
  • Lyndi4
    Lyndi4 Posts: 442 Member
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    *Friendly comment please don't get offended* Is that not what networking sites are for? To get attention? If you have a Facebook, period- that's it's main purpose. <3

    True enough. That's why I'm thinking of deleting it lol It's just annoying seeing other people feed her ego.

    I completely understand. I had a friend like yours and it feels like your accomplishments aren't as awesome. You just have to see that she is not outshining you. You're obviously a beautiful, young woman; therefore, you shouldn't have to feel jealous of anyone. I'm jealous of your eyes >_< Mine are poopoo brown.

    Aww, I love brown eyes. Yours are so pretty! Mine are brown too, and I would never want to change them! After all, Brown-eyed Girl was written just for me. :wink:

    Oh, and good luck to the OP on overcoming jealousy. Whenever I am feeling that way I think of all that I am blessed with. The good always outweighs the bad, even if it comes down to realizing how grateful you are for life and then going from there. Positive thoughts lead to more positive thoughts. I'm not always perfect at this, but I've been working on it. It really helps. Oh, and I love the unsubscribe button on FB. It's perfect for those friends that you don't want to cut off completely, but you don't want to be annoyed with all of their posts.
  • amazon75
    amazon75 Posts: 165
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    I don't know your friend's motivation but I know mine. When I decided to begin my journey to a healthier me, I decided to do it with full disclosure. I started a blog. I post food pics and updates on FB and so on. For me it wasn't about attention seeking, it was about support and being accountable to someone other than myself. I thrive off the well wishes from my friends. Knowing that they know everything that's going on with me, makes me work just that little bit harder toward my goal. The bonus is several of my friends have told me that I've inspired them to be healthier as well.
  • monalissanne
    monalissanne Posts: 159 Member
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    I think your best friend is my "best" friend. I understand FB is more often used for vain, selfish reasons than not, but she posts every freaking detail of her day. "I ran 2.7 miles and did 18.5 lunges...OMG my fine *kitten* is so sore." BARF. Even the other night at dinner my mom who is also FB friends with her asked me "Is she that conceited in real life?" Yep... I reserve FB posts for bigger milestones like hitting the 20 pound mark or being able to fit back into my best suit again rather than using it to log my food and exercise intake everyday.

    I don't think it's so much about jealousy - I've had my own successes. I think it's hard to want to compliment someone when all they do is compliment themselves. When someone makes a comment about my progress I say "Thank you. I've been working really hard." If someone made a comment to her she would be more likely to say, "Yeah, I know. I'm even hotter than I was before." Confidence is great, but a little humbleness and humility can go a long way.
  • LeSsOvMe
    LeSsOvMe Posts: 117
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    that is one of my many New Year's Resolutions.

    BUT - I'm seriously feeling pissed off right now. I have a 'friend' who basks in the sunlight it seems - loves being the center of attention (and seems to get it), and everything always seems to come easy for her. I've been watching what I've been eating for 3 weeks now, etc...she - for 2, and she's lost 10 pounds. I know, I know, I've lost 7...but it just pisses me off!! lol Maybe irrational, and I should be happy for her.

    But then she posts it on facebook (like every meal her WONDERFUL hubby makes for her - so everyone can say I'm so jealous of you - you have a great husband" Oh yum you're so lucky blah blah blah for 20 comments....she posts that she's lost 10 pounds (coming from a woman who is smaller than me and routinely tells ME I don't need to lose weight) and everyone is like "you always look beautiful, way to go, I'm so proud of you,blah blah blah.

    Sigh.

    Ok, rant over. I told you I was working on jealousy as a New Year's resolution. :)
    You need to come up with some creative ways to sabotage this person.
    Send candy!
    And spread some juicy rumors!

    Keep us posted!

    LOL!!
  • EarthyChocl8AKA
    EarthyChocl8AKA Posts: 69
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    Karma is a *****, I will tell you that right now. I had a friend like this. Every time I posted my weight loss stats, she would "one up" me and post hers.... it gets rather annoying.

    But you have to admit thought, it is a bit of a motivation!!!! I hate competition, but I really don't mind ones like this:-):bigsmile:
  • WhyeatKachra
    WhyeatKachra Posts: 404 Member
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    Let her be! For when you finally get to flaunting, she'll be no where closer! People would already be sick of her everyday updates by then!
  • karinaes
    karinaes Posts: 570 Member
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    that is one of my many New Year's Resolutions.

    BUT - I'm seriously feeling pissed off right now. I have a 'friend' who basks in the sunlight it seems - loves being the center of attention (and seems to get it), and everything always seems to come easy for her. I've been watching what I've been eating for 3 weeks now, etc...she - for 2, and she's lost 10 pounds. I know, I know, I've lost 7...but it just pisses me off!! lol Maybe irrational, and I should be happy for her.

    But then she posts it on facebook (like every meal her WONDERFUL hubby makes for her - so everyone can say I'm so jealous of you - you have a great husband" Oh yum you're so lucky blah blah blah for 20 comments....she posts that she's lost 10 pounds (coming from a woman who is smaller than me and routinely tells ME I don't need to lose weight) and everyone is like "you always look beautiful, way to go, I'm so proud of you,blah blah blah.

    Sigh.

    Ok, rant over. I told you I was working on jealousy as a New Year's resolution. :)
    really??!! :indifferent:
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Taurus huh? Like me!

    Taurus are notorious for their jealousy ;) I struggle with comparing myself to people all the time, and "weighing myself" on the scales of what everyone else is getting compared to me. It is something that I also try to not do but it's hardwired into my brain for whatever reason.

    As such... I cannot really give any real good advice that I myself shouldn't also pay attention to. The best thing you can do is to worry about yourself and let the rest follow. Worrying about what my friends are doing or getting compared to me is just a long road to disappointment and bitterness.

    Good luck to you doll.
  • Loves418
    Loves418 Posts: 330 Member
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    I also have someone who was losing so fast without working out and kept posting it. She swore it was just changing her food that helped her. Well it turned out that her BP meds and diabetic meds combined had to do with it. The combination of them together is a cocktail for weight loss. So she dropped 30 pounds without one day of working out. Now however suddenly she has stopped losing weight so it got quiet on her FB...All I kept saying to myself is I am doing this the healthy way..losing weight, eating right and toning so it doesn't just hang as I lose it...Hugs to you..I know about the jealous bug..
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    So she is posting on Facebook about how much she loves her husband and that she is happy? HOW DARE HER!
    I don't see how she is trying to sabotage you one bit.
  • soccerella
    soccerella Posts: 623 Member
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    things areant always what they seem behind closed doors, and I find the people who post about how wonderful their husbands are constantly, might not actually be having as fantastic a time as they make it seem. We have a couple here that seem to have the perfect life, second child on the way, everything is amazing - you almost want to punch the woman becuase you think no ones life should be that great! We'll it isnt' found out her husband was leading a double life (it was like out of a movie) and had a mental breakdown, in a crisis center and now shes living alone with a 4 year old and a second one due in april.

    anyhow, likely not happening with your friend, but i just tend to feel like my friends who post braggy posts on facebook whether about vacations, weight loss, or how they are the luckiest girl in the world because their husband is so fantastic, tend to have something else going on and really need a constant validation and people to agree with them
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    that is one of my many New Year's Resolutions.

    BUT - I'm seriously feeling pissed off right now. I have a 'friend' who basks in the sunlight it seems - loves being the center of attention (and seems to get it), and everything always seems to come easy for her. I've been watching what I've been eating for 3 weeks now, etc...she - for 2, and she's lost 10 pounds. I know, I know, I've lost 7...but it just pisses me off!! lol Maybe irrational, and I should be happy for her.

    But then she posts it on facebook (like every meal her WONDERFUL hubby makes for her - so everyone can say I'm so jealous of you - you have a great husband" Oh yum you're so lucky blah blah blah for 20 comments....she posts that she's lost 10 pounds (coming from a woman who is smaller than me and routinely tells ME I don't need to lose weight) and everyone is like "you always look beautiful, way to go, I'm so proud of you,blah blah blah.

    Sigh.

    Ok, rant over. I told you I was working on jealousy as a New Year's resolution. :)
    You need to come up with some creative ways to sabotage this person.
    Send candy!
    And spread some juicy rumors!

    Keep us posted!

    LOL you crack me up, always.
  • newCourtney
    newCourtney Posts: 168 Member
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    One of the best pieces of life advice I ever got was, believe it or not, from a fire-spinning teacher. You can read the ideaology at www.templeofpoi.com, but I've cut and pasted the one here that I think you might find helpful...

    Principle III: Utilize Self-to-Self comparisons instead of comparing yourself to others.

    We can always find someone "better" than we are; we can always find someone "worse" than we are. "Better" and "Worse" judgments often imply "Good" and "Bad" evaluations. "Good" evaluations are temporary ego highs while "Bad" evaluations are, all too often, devastating, pervasive and unnecessary ego lows.

    At any point in time, depending on what criteria we choose, we can judge ourselves as both "bad" and "good." Since both are possible all the time, the value typically implied in these judgments equates to meaninglessness.

    This principle reminds us that people learn different moves, lessons and skills at different rates with greater and lesser ease. We all have accomplishments and we all have opportunities for growth. This also means nothing.

    Rejoicing in the knowledge that everyone's journey is unique unburdens us of expectations that keep us from being in our practice.

    I love this! You should be happy for your friend. Seeking that much attention means that she is fighting a lot of insecurity. If you are her "friend" (which to be honest, is kind of questionable considering how you are bashing her on here), you should be happy for her. You are downplaying your own achievements. You have done well for 3 weeks, but you are so busy comparing yourself to her and hating on her that you can't even be happy with your own results.
  • ActorGirl1476
    ActorGirl1476 Posts: 221 Member
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    She must be a LEO!

    as a leo, I resent that. lol

    But, yes, to the person who started this rant, you have every right to be annoyed. but her need to brag could actually be looked at as her insecurity rather than her thinking she is the greatest. Usually people who need constant commentary from other people are not ones you should be jealous of. Just focus on yourself and your own weight loss and you may realize soon that you are doing even better than her.
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
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    Unsubscribe!

    Jealousy is just going to slow you down, love. It will only hurt you, never her. You're a beautiful lady anyway! If she bothers you, hide her status updates and don't spend time with her for a while. No need to torture yourself :flowerforyou:
  • fj211
    fj211 Posts: 95
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    This is one reason I spend so little time on Facebook anymore. The attention *kitten* are everywhere. Really, does EVERYONE really need to know your kid has lice or that you found a can of peas that expired in 1986?

    My advice to you is to place her thread on "ignore" or just spend the time you'd normally be on Facebook doing something else. You'll be so much happier.

    And by the way, you are doing a fabulous job on your weight loss journey.
  • PegasusDeb
    PegasusDeb Posts: 665 Member
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    I have found the people that do the most bragging are the ones with the lowest self esteem. If you have to tell everybody how good you are, you probably aren't! Actions speak louder then words. I know it's tough to see all that going on, but like others have said, block her. You don't need her show boating, esp' if it brings you down. You don't know her story, maybe the reason her hubs is cooking those "delicious meals" is because he's telling her how fat she is, or that shes a sucky cook.
    Ignore her, you are beautiful. You don't need need her toxic posts. I have done that to several people, one of which is a family member. And just not having to read about all their "success" while I'm baring staying afloat was a positive step for me.

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