Confidence?

musicgirl88

I don't have a treadmill nor the money for a gym membership...so I'm kind of stuck at the moment...

buy a jump rope!! they're super cheap, and doing it for 10 minutes is the equivalent of running an 8 minute mile.

I have a jumprope!! I did that in the summer from time to time....I'm not sure I have the ceiling space for it, but i'll give it a try!

engineman312

LOL you live NO WHERE near me LOL It took me almost a year and a half just to lose 40 pounds..and I still can't do push ups....how will I be ready in 8 months?

keep talking like that and you'll never be ready.

http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/02/15/proper-push-up/

http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/04/25/do-a-pull-up/

lets get you ready.

Interesting site.....my form never looks that good...I can never seem to get my body up off the floor that high...I guess I could try again...but I moved on to doing weights to try to get stronger arms since push ups seem to be impossible for me...

get good at push ups=be better at weights.

weights won't help my push ups?.....wouldn't stronger arms make push ups a little easier?...

yes sorry. i'm tired. lost my train of thought for a second. can you do any push ups? even assisted ones (girly)? just try doing a few every 30 minutes, throughout the day. just to build up. no one says you have to be able to do 50 in one shot and thats a work out.

auticus

My honest to god opinion from reading your status updates and posts is that you are too hung up on trying to date and earn the social perks of being in good shape, and because you are being rejected for your weight that you are letting that seep into your personality. I say that because I went through and still at times go through the same thing so it's easy to recognize.

I can't really give an awesome answer that is easy to follow other than confidence comes with a lot of things going your way. If one has nothing going their way its easy to fall off the road and land in the pit of negativity and even harder to crawl out of that pit.

The road you want to travel is not easy. I'm on the same road. It sucks. It's hard. It's bloody. It's brutal. But if you want to get to the end you will have to walk the entire thing and not try to take shortcuts or cheat it because it will slap you back twice as hard. It takes time. Lots of time. You are young. Don't waste a day. Don't make excuses. Set out and stop worrying about the social rewards, because the ball isn't even in your hand yet, and you are already eying the endzone (football analogy).

This can either be a life changing positive and empowering moment in your life, or it can be one that tears you apart and leaves you a bitter stain for the rest of your life. The choice as to which is entirely in your hands.

musicgirl88

LOL you live NO WHERE near me LOL It took me almost a year and a half just to lose 40 pounds..and I still can't do push ups....how will I be ready in 8 months?

keep talking like that and you'll never be ready.

http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/02/15/proper-push-up/

http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/04/25/do-a-pull-up/

lets get you ready.

Interesting site.....my form never looks that good...I can never seem to get my body up off the floor that high...I guess I could try again...but I moved on to doing weights to try to get stronger arms since push ups seem to be impossible for me...

get good at push ups=be better at weights.

weights won't help my push ups?.....wouldn't stronger arms make push ups a little easier?...

yes sorry. i'm tired. lost my train of thought for a second. can you do any push ups? even assisted ones (girly)? just try doing a few every 30 minutes, throughout the day. just to build up. no one says you have to be able to do 50 in one shot and thats a work out.

I can do maybe two on my knees...sometimes I have to stop because my arms are too weak and sometimes I have to stop because it hurts my knees (I have had bad knees my whole life, but they have gotten better!!!)

milowen

I think that you'll find you become more confident with age. I'm assuming you're pretty young still...once you're over 30, you tend to just start giving up some of the anxieties you have when you're younger. It also takes work to feel good in your own skin.

Do you think you have issues with depression or anxiety? Can you speak to your doctor or perhaps consider counseling? I've been going to one for about a year and she really helps me to see how strong I am. I'm the only one who can make my life happen, no one else is going to do it for me. Seeing that I am capable is a big turn in my life.

I have spent too many wasted years trying to make people like me. I was never happy and they'd still just forget me or drop me when I needed them. So I've found the confidence to get rid of the negative people in my life and tell the ones I value that they are important. It sounds cheesy at first, but it's working.

Maybe you can join a group on Meetup.com I've joined a few groups and actually have a couple of friends that I now spend time with. I don't have a BFF really, but it still feels good to choose healthy and supportive relationships.

Good luck finding your true self. The fact that you recognize the problem and care about it is a great first step. Take on some challenges that scare you and when you accomplish them or have fun trying, it can be a confidence booster.

spyder_rose

you should sign up for a mud run. first, it gives you a goal to work for, not just a number on a scale. and two, you feel like a total bad *kitten* climbing over obstacles, and passing other slower runners. trust me, there will be slower runners then you.

LOL I've never heard of a mud run? I'm pretty sure I'd be the slowest person there...obstacles and stuff to climb over? I'm not quite at a good weight for that yet.....

I'm doing the Warrior Dash next month. Now, nothing on the confidence side of things. i'm doing it to overcome challenges (physical and mental...) I'm 4 foot 8, so it's going to be quite interesting for me, plus I hate getting dirt...

As to the confidence... FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT!!! I spent YEARS being very shy and petrified of people... then I realised I would NEVER get to where I wanted to be, regardless of how hard I tried and how smart I was... so I just faked it... Pretend you're in a play or performance and just go with it... And then when you start doing it enough... you'll start to believe it...

Good luck.. You should be confident I'm sure you're a great girl and you're doing something about yourself

zoe4friends

and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.

Wow, you are being so supportive!!! That's so Great!!!

That Mud run actually sounds fun. I might start searching for one in my area :-)

musicgirl88

My honest to god opinion from reading your status updates and posts is that you are too hung up on trying to date and earn the social perks of being in good shape, and because you are being rejected for your weight that you are letting that seep into your personality. I say that because I went through and still at times go through the same thing so it's easy to recognize.

I can't really give an awesome answer that is easy to follow other than confidence comes with a lot of things going your way. If one has nothing going their way its easy to fall off the road and land in the pit of negativity and even harder to crawl out of that pit.

The road you want to travel is not easy. I'm on the same road. It sucks. It's hard. It's bloody. It's brutal. But if you want to get to the end you will have to walk the entire thing and not try to take shortcuts or cheat it because it will slap you back twice as hard. It takes time. Lots of time. You are young. Don't waste a day. Don't make excuses. Set out and stop worrying about the social rewards, because the ball isn't even in your hand yet, and you are already eying the endzone (football analogy).

This can either be a life changing positive and empowering moment in your life, or it can be one that tears you apart and leaves you a bitter stain for the rest of your life. The choice as to which is entirely in your hands.

It's hard to not let getting rejected because of my weight get to me....No one wants to get to know who I am just because of the way I look....btw....loved the football analogy lol I was pissed at one game today and happy about the other LOL

musicgirl88

I think that you'll find you become more confident with age. I'm assuming you're pretty young still...once you're over 30, you tend to just start giving up some of the anxieties you have when you're younger. It also takes work to feel good in your own skin.

Do you think you have issues with depression or anxiety? Can you speak to your doctor or perhaps consider counseling? I've been going to one for about a year and she really helps me to see how strong I am. I'm the only one who can make my life happen, no one else is going to do it for me. Seeing that I am capable is a big turn in my life.

I have spent too many wasted years trying to make people like me. I was never happy and they'd still just forget me or drop me when I needed them. So I've found the confidence to get rid of the negative people in my life and tell the ones I value that they are important. It sounds cheesy at first, but it's working.

Maybe you can join a group on Meetup.com I've joined a few groups and actually have a couple of friends that I now spend time with. I don't have a BFF really, but it still feels good to choose healthy and supportive relationships.

Good luck finding your true self. The fact that you recognize the problem and care about it is a great first step. Take on some challenges that scare you and when you accomplish them or have fun trying, it can be a confidence booster.

I tend to go through a depression every winter...I am the type of person that NEEDS and CRAVES sunshine....so all the cold and cloudy weather really gets to me....like...really, really gets to me....I don't do so well with meeting up with people online...I have major trust issues and would be too afraid if someone wants to meet me from onilne they'd be a creeper haha....I'm sure they wouldn't be....but you can never be too careful!

engineman312

and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.

Wow, you are being so supportive!!! That's so Great!!!

That Mud run actually sounds fun. I might start searching for one in my area :-)

how far is raliegh from greensboro?? you have until april.

http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/greensboro-nc-2012.html


oh, and you should see this other thread i'm in. crazy girl wants to be fit and toned in 6 weeks, but doesn't want anything too hard. i made fun of her. she got all butt hurt, and someone called me a troll.

auticus

It's hard to not let getting rejected because of my weight get to me....No one wants to get to know who I am just because of the way I look....btw....loved the football analogy lol I was pissed at one game today and happy about the other LOL

I 100% understand and agree with you, it's very difficult to not let it get to you. In fact, I'd daresay it's almost impossible because it defies a lot of what decent people are brought up to believe in values, etc... but the sad reality is it is the culture that we live in.

For me it was important to look away from trying to score social points and focus more on my hobbies and as I have lost weight, the social stuff has slowly started to become more positive.

raige123

I wish I knew! I'm over 70 lbs lighter and am still the most unconfident person ever!

musicgirl88

and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.

Wow, you are being so supportive!!! That's so Great!!!

That Mud run actually sounds fun. I might start searching for one in my area :-)

how far is raliegh from greensboro?? you have until april.

http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/greensboro-nc-2012.html


oh, and you should see this other thread i'm in. crazy girl wants to be fit and toned in 6 weeks, but doesn't want anything too hard. i made fun of her. she got all butt hurt, and someone called me a troll.

LOL that thread is still making me laugh...I went back to it to see what was going on, and almost replied, but stopped myself LOL It would have been in your defense!!! but it would have been mean to the other girl lol

zoe4friends

I didn't have much confidence when I started either. But as i progress I started loving myself more and more.
I reevaluated my reason for loosing weight and i made myself the first Priority in My life. I am taking this time to work on myself and improving myself.
I know it will take you some time to become confident, but don't give up, no matter what!!! You can do it!!! And you already came a long way just by deciding to make this change!!!
As some people above suggested, try to find a hobby or something you like to do and concentrate on that.
I was never big on working out and running, but since joining MFP i started to work out and worked my way up to running. Now, I enjoy running and it gives me energy. And working towards my goal gives me confidence
I would suggest to put some timely, realistic and attainable goals. And as you get closer to your goals I think it will give you more confidence.
Best of luck to you! You can do it!!!

musicgirl88

It's hard to not let getting rejected because of my weight get to me....No one wants to get to know who I am just because of the way I look....btw....loved the football analogy lol I was pissed at one game today and happy about the other LOL

I 100% understand and agree with you, it's very difficult to not let it get to you. In fact, I'd daresay it's almost impossible because it defies a lot of what decent people are brought up to believe in values, etc... but the sad reality is it is the culture that we live in.

For me it was important to look away from trying to score social points and focus more on my hobbies and as I have lost weight, the social stuff has slowly started to become more positive.

I focus a lot on my music....but it never gives me any more confidence...

RaeLB

It's hard to not let getting rejected because of my weight get to me....No one wants to get to know who I am just because of the way I look....btw....loved the football analogy lol I was pissed at one game today and happy about the other LOL

i hope you were pissed about the first one lol

he's right life isn't always going to go how you want it to... but you have to keep picking yourself back up and pushing forward

musicgirl88

I didn't have much confidence when I started either. But as i progress I started loving myself more and more.
I reevaluated my reason for loosing weight and i made myself the first Priority in My life. I am taking this time to work on myself and improving myself.
I know it will take you some time to become confident, but don't give up, no matter what!!! You can do it!!! And you already came a long way just by deciding to make this change!!!
As some people above suggested, try to find a hobby or something you like to do and concentrate on that.
I was never big on working out and running, but since joining MFP i started to work out and worked my way up to running. Now, I enjoy running and it gives me energy. And working towards my goal gives me confidence
I would suggest to put some timely, realistic and attainable goals. And as you get closer to your goals I think it will give you more confidence.
Best of luck to you! You can do it!!!

Thank you for the reply You are so sweet! I know at the moment I have the wrong outlook on why I want to lose weight....I do want to get healthy...I am tired of being short of breath after 2 flights of stairs....but I also don't want people to just assume they know who I am just because I'm overweight....so many people just look past me and don't care to know me...and yet so many people that are skinny meet new friends every day it seems! I'm sure it's just my outlook and not totally true....but I also have proof from a friend that lost a LOT of weight...she was treated better after she lost weight...

zoe4friends

and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.

Wow, you are being so supportive!!! That's so Great!!!

That Mud run actually sounds fun. I might start searching for one in my area :-)

how far is raliegh from greensboro?? you have until april.

http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/greensboro-nc-2012.html


oh, and you should see this other thread i'm in. crazy girl wants to be fit and toned in 6 weeks, but doesn't want anything too hard. i made fun of her. she got all butt hurt, and someone called me a troll.

Thanks for the link. Greensboro is about 2 hours away from me. I am so going to work towards it. I just wish I had someone to do it with me :-)
I was just looking at 5K runs and there is one in Raleigh I wanna do, but I am afraid to do it alone, since it will be my very first one.

musicgirl88

It's hard to not let getting rejected because of my weight get to me....No one wants to get to know who I am just because of the way I look....btw....loved the football analogy lol I was pissed at one game today and happy about the other LOL

i hope you were pissed about the first one lol

he's right life isn't always going to go how you want it to... but you have to keep picking yourself back up and pushing forward

I was VERY pissed about the first one! I HATE the patriots!!!!!

vegamy

No, being skinny in itself does not make you confident! Doing things that you like (hobbies), learning new things, and reaching goals for yourself helps with confidence. You start to not care so much what others think because what YOU think is most important.