Confidence?

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  • kendf60
    kendf60 Posts: 234 Member
    Success breeds success. Set goals that are fairly easy to reach and then build on them. Do this for fitness goals as well as in other areas of your life. Make the goals yourself and take ownership of them. Being on here proves you have the desire and that's the first step. Use the advice you get here that makes sense for you and forget the rest. Try to surround yourself with positive people who support "your" goals. As they say at Nike " do it"!
  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
    Also being "skinny"/getting thinner does NOT help. People consider me skinny..I don't see it and I sit in front of the mirror and feel disgusted like I want to cry because I have fat thighs/fat arms etc.... Confidence definilty comes from the inside because I have been at my goal weight before and still felt like I was unattractive and not good enough. I don't feel anymore confident right now at 118 then I did at 133, its still not good enough, I still have stretch marks, my thighs are still fat. I still am the same awkward shy person who rather sit alone then be around other people because my anxiety is terrible. Unless I am drunk or just took my adderall for my ADD I am a loner in the corner hoping other people won't talk to me because I am scared they will see everything that I think is wrong with me.
  • Virginia90
    Virginia90 Posts: 317 Member
    Hun, sometimes you gotta fake it until you make it. I am not a very confident person either, however back when I was still working, I couldn't act not-confident at work...so I pretended I was confident. I pretended I was the fittest, prettiest, smartest, and nicest person at work, and I held my head high - all while totally freaking out and doubting myself on the inside. And then people - particularly guys, started treating me different. Even though I am married, they started coming up to me and talking to me - and that started a cycle of me actually becoming confident! I made some friends, and I started to feel more comfortable at work - real confidence! The biggest confidence booster was when a nice looking guy randomly sat down at my table while I was at lunch and started talking to me. I went out of my way to make him see my wedding ring, and when he finally did, he blushed and suddenly "had to go". It was awesome! And all while I was at least 100lbs overweight! So maybe in a situation where you feel more comfortable, try pretending you are confident - pretend you are better than everyone around you, but not in a cocky way, if that makes sense! Once people notice your "confidence", they'll start to treat you differently, and you'll actually become confident! :smile:

    If a good looking guy randomly sat next to me I would completely freak out and clam up LOL I'm not sure I know how to act confident? All my life i've been able to fake a smile...I don't show when I'm upset...I don't cry....I don't let people see me cry or see me really angry...the most I can do is fake a smile...but confidence? I don't even know how to act it....if someone came up to me, I woudl think it was some kind of joke...lik eback in high school...

    I have this problem too, but something I had to realize, is most people in the real world aren't petty and looking to put you at the end of a joke. Sure there will be jerks, but ones that go out of their way to make a stranger feel bad about themselves are few and far between. The best way to learn how to act confident is to watch someone you believe is a confident person. You know how when we were kids and sometimes someone would play "copy cat"? Do that (just more subtly! lol). I practice my confident on people at grocery stores - like the workers. I go out of my way to make eye contact with the Wal-Mart door greeter, I give him/her a big smile, and I even say hi. When I check out, I stand up tall, smile at the cashier and ask how their day/week/weekend/etc. was. The workers at stores are the easiest to practice on, because they aren't likely to be rude to you (if they value their job). Once you get comfortable practicing confidence on them, try a random person looking at the same grocery items you're looking at, though beware - some people LOVE to talk and it can be hard getting away to continue your shopping! :laugh: If you don't know anyone who you can pick up confidence traits from, try googling "how to act confident" or even see if YouTube has any resources - it is crazy what kind of how-to's are online! The most important thing is to try and look as friendly as possible - smile a lot, make eye contact, stand up straight, etc. You can do it!
  • musicgirl88
    musicgirl88 Posts: 504 Member
    I want to thank everyone for the amazing kindness you have shown me. My confidence is so low I almost didn't even post this...I had it typed out and it just sat there for a good hour before I finally posted it....ya'll have been great, and I feel a little better. It's definitely something I need to work on. I have gotten some great advice and even found a few new friends :) Thanks guys :)
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