Confidence?
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I didn't have much confidence when I started either. But as i progress I started loving myself more and more.
I reevaluated my reason for loosing weight and i made myself the first Priority in My life. I am taking this time to work on myself and improving myself.
I know it will take you some time to become confident, but don't give up, no matter what!!! You can do it!!! And you already came a long way just by deciding to make this change!!!
As some people above suggested, try to find a hobby or something you like to do and concentrate on that.
I was never big on working out and running, but since joining MFP i started to work out and worked my way up to running. Now, I enjoy running and it gives me energy. And working towards my goal gives me confidence
I would suggest to put some timely, realistic and attainable goals. And as you get closer to your goals I think it will give you more confidence.
Best of luck to you! You can do it!!!
Thank you for the reply
You are so sweet! I know at the moment I have the wrong outlook on why I want to lose weight....I do want to get healthy...I am tired of being short of breath after 2 flights of stairs....but I also don't want people to just assume they know who I am just because I'm overweight....so many people just look past me and don't care to know me...and yet so many people that are skinny meet new friends every day it seems! I'm sure it's just my outlook and not totally true....but I also have proof from a friend that lost a LOT of weight...she was treated better after she lost weight...
I know what you mean. I had people make assumptions about me all the time. But don't let those assumptions get on your way of reaching your goal.
I think the Right attitude and Persistence is the KEY!!! :-)0 -
and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.
Wow, you are being so supportive!!! That's so Great!!!
That Mud run actually sounds fun. I might start searching for one in my area :-)
how far is raliegh from greensboro?? you have until april.
http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/greensboro-nc-2012.html
oh, and you should see this other thread i'm in. crazy girl wants to be fit and toned in 6 weeks, but doesn't want anything too hard. i made fun of her. she got all butt hurt, and someone called me a troll.
Thanks for the link. Greensboro is about 2 hours away from me. I am so going to work towards it. I just wish I had someone to do it with me :-)
I was just looking at 5K runs and there is one in Raleigh I wanna do, but I am afraid to do it alone, since it will be my very first one.
when i signed up for my first one, i posted it up on facebook and told friends of mine. i think they all thought "man, if this fat *kitten* can do it, why can i??" and i ended up running it with 5 of my best friends.
trust me, register, start a team, get your friends to join. then you get discounts.0 -
Thank you for the reply You are so sweet! I know at the moment I have the wrong outlook on why I want to lose weight....I do want to get healthy...I am tired of being short of breath after 2 flights of stairs....but I also don't want people to just assume they know who I am just because I'm overweight....so many people just look past me and don't care to know me...and yet so many people that are skinny meet new friends every day it seems! I'm sure it's just my outlook and not totally true....but I also have proof from a friend that lost a LOT of weight...she was treated better after she lost weight...
could have been a change in attitude/confidence in your friend? I have a friend who is overweight and she is the life of the party. I have another friend who is overweight as well and she feels that that is why no one wants to be around her but I can tell you that she is introverted and when she does talk all she does is complain about her weight... she is not very fun to be around0 -
It's hard to not let getting rejected because of my weight get to me....No one wants to get to know who I am just because of the way I look....btw....loved the football analogy lol I was pissed at one game today and happy about the other LOL
i hope you were pissed about the first one lol
he's right life isn't always going to go how you want it to... but you have to keep picking yourself back up and pushing forward
I was VERY pissed about the first one! I HATE the patriots!!!!!
GOOD. :flowerforyou:0 -
eff the Patriots and Bill Bellicheat.0
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Hun, sometimes you gotta fake it until you make it. I am not a very confident person either, however back when I was still working, I couldn't act not-confident at work...so I pretended I was confident. I pretended I was the fittest, prettiest, smartest, and nicest person at work, and I held my head high - all while totally freaking out and doubting myself on the inside. And then people - particularly guys, started treating me different. Even though I am married, they started coming up to me and talking to me - and that started a cycle of me actually becoming confident! I made some friends, and I started to feel more comfortable at work - real confidence! The biggest confidence booster was when a nice looking guy randomly sat down at my table while I was at lunch and started talking to me. I went out of my way to make him see my wedding ring, and when he finally did, he blushed and suddenly "had to go". It was awesome! And all while I was at least 100lbs overweight! So maybe in a situation where you feel more comfortable, try pretending you are confident - pretend you are better than everyone around you, but not in a cocky way, if that makes sense! Once people notice your "confidence", they'll start to treat you differently, and you'll actually become confident! 0
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and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.
Wow, you are being so supportive!!! That's so Great!!!
That Mud run actually sounds fun. I might start searching for one in my area :-)
how far is raliegh from greensboro?? you have until april.
http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/greensboro-nc-2012.html
oh, and you should see this other thread i'm in. crazy girl wants to be fit and toned in 6 weeks, but doesn't want anything too hard. i made fun of her. she got all butt hurt, and someone called me a troll.
Thanks for the link. Greensboro is about 2 hours away from me. I am so going to work towards it. I just wish I had someone to do it with me :-)
I was just looking at 5K runs and there is one in Raleigh I wanna do, but I am afraid to do it alone, since it will be my very first one.
when i signed up for my first one, i posted it up on facebook and told friends of mine. i think they all thought "man, if this fat *kitten* can do it, why can i??" and i ended up running it with 5 of my best friends.
trust me, register, start a team, get your friends to join. then you get discounts.
I was actually thinking about that. I just wrote on FB to one of my friends about the 5k i wanna do here in Raleigh and she said she would be interested. So hopefully I can convince her about the mud run too. She will definitely think I am losing my mind LOL0 -
you should sign up for a mud run. first, it gives you a goal to work for, not just a number on a scale. and two, you feel like a total bad *kitten* climbing over obstacles, and passing other slower runners. trust me, there will be slower runners then you.
LOL I've never heard of a mud run? I'm pretty sure I'd be the slowest person there...obstacles and stuff to climb over? I'm not quite at a good weight for that yet.....
there is a rugged maniac mud run in louisville, KY in august. thats about 4 hours from you, right??
http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/louisville-2012.html
trust me, its easier then it looks. you'll be awesome.
It's about......6 hours from me LOL If I remember correctly....I think that's how long it took us to get there when we drove to Tennessee we went through Louisville to visit a friend.......anywho..I don't really have the money or a reliable car for a drive like that LOL.......I know I'm weak LOL I can't do pull ups or push ups...so if I have to climb over things or lift myself over something....it ain't happening LOL....sad but true.....
you have 8 months to train and be ready. that is more then enough time. 8 months. you can do it. you need to eat right, run, and strength train. trust me, nothing feels better then bursting through your bounderies and turning "can't" into "i did it!"
and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.
LOL you live NO WHERE near me LOL It took me almost a year and a half just to lose 40 pounds..and I still can't do push ups....how will I be ready in 8 months?
sorry, i dont mean to not-mind-my-own buiness, but i say go for it))) sounds like someone wants to help u, and maybe u are saying no of something u are scared of (i speak from first-hand experience haha). what do u have to lose? 0 -
Hun, sometimes you gotta fake it until you make it. I am not a very confident person either, however back when I was still working, I couldn't act not-confident at work...so I pretended I was confident. I pretended I was the fittest, prettiest, smartest, and nicest person at work, and I held my head high - all while totally freaking out and doubting myself on the inside. And then people - particularly guys, started treating me different. Even though I am married, they started coming up to me and talking to me - and that started a cycle of me actually becoming confident! I made some friends, and I started to feel more comfortable at work - real confidence! The biggest confidence booster was when a nice looking guy randomly sat down at my table while I was at lunch and started talking to me. I went out of my way to make him see my wedding ring, and when he finally did, he blushed and suddenly "had to go". It was awesome! And all while I was at least 100lbs overweight! So maybe in a situation where you feel more comfortable, try pretending you are confident - pretend you are better than everyone around you, but not in a cocky way, if that makes sense! Once people notice your "confidence", they'll start to treat you differently, and you'll actually become confident!
If a good looking guy randomly sat next to me I would completely freak out and clam up LOL I'm not sure I know how to act confident? All my life i've been able to fake a smile...I don't show when I'm upset...I don't cry....I don't let people see me cry or see me really angry...the most I can do is fake a smile...but confidence? I don't even know how to act it....if someone came up to me, I woudl think it was some kind of joke...lik eback in high school...0 -
you should sign up for a mud run. first, it gives you a goal to work for, not just a number on a scale. and two, you feel like a total bad *kitten* climbing over obstacles, and passing other slower runners. trust me, there will be slower runners then you.
LOL I've never heard of a mud run? I'm pretty sure I'd be the slowest person there...obstacles and stuff to climb over? I'm not quite at a good weight for that yet.....
there is a rugged maniac mud run in louisville, KY in august. thats about 4 hours from you, right??
http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/louisville-2012.html
trust me, its easier then it looks. you'll be awesome.
It's about......6 hours from me LOL If I remember correctly....I think that's how long it took us to get there when we drove to Tennessee we went through Louisville to visit a friend.......anywho..I don't really have the money or a reliable car for a drive like that LOL.......I know I'm weak LOL I can't do pull ups or push ups...so if I have to climb over things or lift myself over something....it ain't happening LOL....sad but true.....
you have 8 months to train and be ready. that is more then enough time. 8 months. you can do it. you need to eat right, run, and strength train. trust me, nothing feels better then bursting through your bounderies and turning "can't" into "i did it!"
and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.
LOL you live NO WHERE near me LOL It took me almost a year and a half just to lose 40 pounds..and I still can't do push ups....how will I be ready in 8 months?
sorry, i dont mean to not-mind-my-own buiness, but i say go for it))) sounds like someone wants to help u, and maybe u are saying no of something u are scared of (i speak from first-hand experience haha). what do u have to lose?
Yes I am very scared of it...I'm afraid of failure and not being able to do something...and being the worst person in th whole place...0 -
I used to really hate myself. I mean, it went past a little dislike of myself to full-on hate. I hated everything about myself, and I must say, the only thing that gave me confidence was the women's therapy group I started attending. I loved it! I have more than enough confidence because of that.0
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you should sign up for a mud run. first, it gives you a goal to work for, not just a number on a scale. and two, you feel like a total bad *kitten* climbing over obstacles, and passing other slower runners. trust me, there will be slower runners then you.
LOL I've never heard of a mud run? I'm pretty sure I'd be the slowest person there...obstacles and stuff to climb over? I'm not quite at a good weight for that yet.....
there is a rugged maniac mud run in louisville, KY in august. thats about 4 hours from you, right??
http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/louisville-2012.html
trust me, its easier then it looks. you'll be awesome.
It's about......6 hours from me LOL If I remember correctly....I think that's how long it took us to get there when we drove to Tennessee we went through Louisville to visit a friend.......anywho..I don't really have the money or a reliable car for a drive like that LOL.......I know I'm weak LOL I can't do pull ups or push ups...so if I have to climb over things or lift myself over something....it ain't happening LOL....sad but true.....
you have 8 months to train and be ready. that is more then enough time. 8 months. you can do it. you need to eat right, run, and strength train. trust me, nothing feels better then bursting through your bounderies and turning "can't" into "i did it!"
and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.
LOL you live NO WHERE near me LOL It took me almost a year and a half just to lose 40 pounds..and I still can't do push ups....how will I be ready in 8 months?
Lack of Confidence Girly! Choose a goal and go for it!0 -
I totally hear you. Working out with Jillian Michaels videos in my home with only a set of 3 pound weights needed is what has done it for me. When I can get through a brutal workout and feel stronger and the sense of increible accomplishment, it makes me feel amazing about myself. My confidence has increased dramatically in the past year, the strong I get physically, the stronger I am physically.0
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Yes I am very scared of it...I'm afraid of failure and not being able to do something...and being the worst person in th whole place...
Work hard to get in shape for it and believe in yourself.
But what if you are the worst in the whole place...? what will happen...?0 -
you should sign up for a mud run. first, it gives you a goal to work for, not just a number on a scale. and two, you feel like a total bad *kitten* climbing over obstacles, and passing other slower runners. trust me, there will be slower runners then you.
LOL I've never heard of a mud run? I'm pretty sure I'd be the slowest person there...obstacles and stuff to climb over? I'm not quite at a good weight for that yet.....
there is a rugged maniac mud run in louisville, KY in august. thats about 4 hours from you, right??
http://www.ruggedmaniac.com/events-details/items/louisville-2012.html
trust me, its easier then it looks. you'll be awesome.
It's about......6 hours from me LOL If I remember correctly....I think that's how long it took us to get there when we drove to Tennessee we went through Louisville to visit a friend.......anywho..I don't really have the money or a reliable car for a drive like that LOL.......I know I'm weak LOL I can't do pull ups or push ups...so if I have to climb over things or lift myself over something....it ain't happening LOL....sad but true.....
you have 8 months to train and be ready. that is more then enough time. 8 months. you can do it. you need to eat right, run, and strength train. trust me, nothing feels better then bursting through your bounderies and turning "can't" into "i did it!"
and if me coming to kentucky to run it with you is what it takes, just make sure i can crash on your couch.
LOL you live NO WHERE near me LOL It took me almost a year and a half just to lose 40 pounds..and I still can't do push ups....how will I be ready in 8 months?
sorry, i dont mean to not-mind-my-own buiness, but i say go for it))) sounds like someone wants to help u, and maybe u are saying no of something u are scared of (i speak from first-hand experience haha). what do u have to lose?
Yes I am very scared of it...I'm afraid of failure and not being able to do something...and being the worst person in th whole place...
I am 175lbs, definitely overweight. It took me 9 months to drop 25lbs. Thats a long time, including a 3 month plateau. I am registering for a 12 week total body transformation and trust me do I want to see my abs when I am done! I don't think I will, I don't think I could lose enough weight to make that big of a difference and win, but I am still doing it and training really hard for it. There is motivation when you have a huge deadline like that. I have been following the strictest diet since I decided to do it and already lost 3lbs in the first week. Find something that you can work for, and go for it. You can educate yourself about HOW to do it, and you have MFP friends to help as well!!! 0 -
bump because I am in need of confidence0
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Confidence is a tough one. Sometimes you have to fake it 'til you make it.
I would say that if I knew one thing when I was in my twenties, I wish I knew that other people don't hold the secret to my happiness or success.
And, all those other people who look confident and like they what they're doing? Well, some of them feel the same way you do.
When you look at others (as on FB), you're seeing their public face, not their private one.
I guess, there are a lot of things that affect your confidence. It helps to learn to be comfortable in your own skin, and that's not necessarily related to your weight, or your fitness level, or how much money you have, or the perfect career.
One thing I can safely say, is there's no destination (like goal weight) that will automatically make you feel confident or whole. I think hobbies, listening to music, taking the time to enjoy life, can also make you feel worthy. There's a short book I like called "Being, Belonging, Doing: Balancing the Critical Needs in Your Life" by Ronald T. Potter-Efron. It's a self-help book, sort of. Amazon has it, so you can look inside the book there, and then get it for free from the library.
And, I've had my share of self-loathing in my life, but it was a real awakening to realize not too long ago, that with all of the billions of people on the planet, I was the hardest on myself. There was no committee waiting to see what I was doing wrong, but I felt there was. It was just me.
So, the lesson is, be kind to yourself. And, most people aren't hard on you (because they're worried about themselves!)0 -
First off, you are very beautiful. When I find out how to be confident 100% of the time I'll let you know. :P But as for now, continue to use this site for your support and motivation, and I can only hope that that confidence will come to you one day. You seem to have acchieved alot. When you find yourself feeling down, try and think of all that you have accomplished thus far. You never know, it may help
ETA: It may help to delete your facebook if you have one. At least temporarily.. I find this site much more enjoyable and positive than facebook so I deactivated it just last night.0 -
I have very bad confidence issues to the point it effects my friendships (I cancel plans almost everytime I make them because I think people will be bored by me or they will hangout with me and then realize they don't like me), marriage (always think I am not good enough), work (I'm a dancer there for I am supposed to be full of confidence and approach guys etc... Well they all think I am weird looking, and from hearing "oh you would be so hot if your were normal" over and over I feel like I will be turned down by every person I meet) I am convinced no one really likes me, I'm annoying, I'm fat, I'm not pretty enough, I'm weird, I'm boring. It has caused me to have terrible social anxiety. I don't really have any suggestions considering I can't seem to have any confidence myself. I wish I could help
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I have very low confidence but I'm working to make it better.0
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