RANT: obese people that PUSH dieting advice!!
Replies
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Sounds like she is jealous!! I would not tell her what you are doing.THEN when she notices your weight loss you can tell her..
Good Luck and keep doing what you are doing0 -
Sounds like to me she is trying to sabotage you....keep strong hon and do whatever is right for you
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Without knowing her or her situation, I'm just going to make the assumption that this chick has unhealthy relationship with food because of her mother constantly lecturing her. She really should see a therapist. Anyway, do what is best for you, and the next time she uses her MOTHER'S credentials to give you advice, I would just tell her that she should have her mother give you a call.0
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Hold up a mirror to her and ask about the nutritionist!
JK! You would have to put $100 in the *kitten* Jar!0 -
Simple response, "Excuse ,me, but when YOU are slender and eating healthy, then perhaps I will listen to you, until then, get the heck away from me and let me eat in peace."
I agree with that one. If she responses in such a 'know it all way' you are welcome to use short *****y comments like that to get the point across. If it is working for you- fine. Who is she to argue it!0 -
I have a friend whos is super obese, she is 5' 4 inches and weighs 298, yet every single time I try to talk about my diet she acts like shes an expert because her mom is a nutrishionst.
NUTRITIONIST*********************************************************************************
sr;se0 -
I love going out with other couples and watching the "whipped" guys gloomily ordering health yuk-food from the diet menu.I have lost a considerable amount of weight, but as a heavy guy I still eat a lot in a day. Now that people started to notice i lost weight I get funny looks when I don't think twice about eating a piece of cake, or something else that isn't categorized as "diet" food. Advice doesn't bother me though, i take it for what it is, advice, I just say thanks and move on with my life.
And I order a T-Bone or a pizze - :laugh:
And these guys are fat, and I am the fit one.0 -
This!Frenemy alert!!! Cut it out your life, and stop posting on FB, you wont get the support you need on it. That's why we have mfp. The support is here! You dont need to talk to her about your weightloss and fitness plan, just live it. The results speak for themselves...:flowerforyou:
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One word, JEALOUS. She doesn't want you losing weight leaving her as 'the fat one'. Plain and simple. She's not a good friend, I say make a lifestyle change with your eating and your friends...cut out the bad ones and keep the good 0
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Diet and nutrition is such a personal thing for a lot of people. And people will cling to whatever they believe. It is probably just best to avoid discussing the topic with people you find unhelpful.
If you talk with 20 slim, fit looking people on the subject they may be all over the place on their personal opinions about how many carbs are okay, whether it is okay to eat fruit, how much protein you need, whether it is okay to eat wheat, etc., etc. Ultimately people choose what they believe (hopefully after doing the research but that will lead to conflicting information) and by finding what feels right to their body. If someone pushes there opinion, (especially if it doesn't seem to work for them, but even if it does)... Well, it is really not much different than the person who pushes their opinions about religion, politics, whatever on you. They might mean well, but...0 -
sounds to me like someone's jealous and she's pushing whatever her mother tells her on you. I understand what you mean about trying to learn to change the portions of what you eat. i think learning to do that instead of cutting things off cold turkey will help you get off of those cravings. I dedicated this month to pry myself from the soda and the beer, and i have had ONE pepsi.im pretty proud LOL anyway the point is that she is being a HATER and has some nerve to slap things out of your hand. if she really was your friend she wouldn't be bashing you she would be more supportive and helpful.
DITTO sounds like she is jealous of you losing weight when quite clearly she can;t do it.. you carry on hun and don;t bother listening to her anymore, she will soon be gutted when your looking gorgeous and she is still chewing on a mars bar... sorry maybe a little too *****y,... lol!
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My stepmom is like that, dont live with her but she bashes my diet every time Im near her, she doesnt even know what Im doing, if I have a cup of green tea while Im there she will rant on about how green tea diets dont work (versus black tea diets?) I avoid meat a lot of the time and she will go on and on about protien needs, If I have a protien shake it is full of chemicals, there is no winning and she has over a 100 pounds of excess weight on her0
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People like her are annoying regardless of their size, but her inability to control her own weight makes her seem... well.. crazy!
Naturally thin people that have never had to work their weight can be annoying with their advice too, they just can't understand.
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope this post helps none of us become the obnoxious expert!0 -
anytime I loose weight, the first 15lbs come off in a month super easily, then after that its a struggle to get 1/2lb off a week, ITS NORMAL. Ditch that friend she sounds like a total downer.0
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OK, honestly, it truely seems like she is a toxic person and could end up being bad for your health. Weight aside, there is no reason for her to be pushing her "advice" on you. Ever. And to do it so meanly? Not worth the stress.
My suggestion, in the most Mrs. Manners way? Tell her that you appreciate her concern, but until she has MD after her name, you would prefer that she keep her opinions to herself. Ok, maybe that is meaner than Mrs. Manners, but the woman has got to stop!! And if she doesn't? Just place her in a different group than your other FB buddies.
Good job, and keep going!!0 -
My suggestion is to try this website its called eatingwell.com, I use it for everyday recipes and alot of them are quick and easy. It also sounds to me like she envy's you and your weight loss and wants to hold you back from living a healthy life!!! Good Luck on your weight loss!!!0
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EXACTLY THIS,!One word, JEALOUS. She doesn't want you losing weight leaving her as 'the fat one'. Plain and simple. She's not a good friend, I say make a lifestyle change with your eating and your friends...cut out the bad ones and keep the good
you dont need ppl like this in your life, and too be honest if her mum is a nutritionsist then she can't be very good otherwise im sure her darling daughter would have grown up making better food choices and wouldnt be fat..0 -
here's a little different spin .. i read a few pages of this post and didn't see this point of view expressed, so here goes...
from the time i was in highschool, i had to consciously watch what i ate and exercise to maintain my slender girlish figure. this went on for 40+ years and i did just fine. later on i joined weight watchers when i had gained about 30 pounds and again got things under control achieving my lifetime membership goal and maintenance. then i got a back injury and all bets were off. i was physically unable to get cardio exercise and my weight started climbing.. and now i am nearly 80 pounds overweight. i just figured out a way to get a fair cardio workout and have joined MFP to aid me in attaining my weight loss goal. (record keeping and accountability to others)
there have been times when people have ASKED my opinion and i am happy to give it. i do consider myself an expert in planning a healthy weight loss menu and managing calories. i even pride myself in adapting (suitable) recipes to the original weight watchers exchange plan. one aspect, here on MFP, i was never aware of when i was doing aerobics several times a week is figuring out how many calories were burned then eating back burned calories. i just knew if i did aerobics and ate sensible, i never had to worry about my weight.
so, not ALL overweight people are stupid about eating healthy and it pays to listen to all advice, see what sounds reasonable to you, and take what sounds useful to you. there is always more than one way to achieve a goal. also, it seems like most "skinny" people who have never had a weight problem don't have a clue. they never had to worry about counting a calorie. i have seen some advice from so called lifetime fitness experts here that doesn't make sense and could even be harmful.
ps: that does not mean i approve of anyone preaching where advice is not wanted, even if it is from an expert.
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I have a friend whos is super obese, she is 5' 4 inches and weighs 298, yet every single time I try to talk about my diet she acts like shes an expert because her mom is a nutrishionst. I was talking about my carbs being at 150, she started FREAKING out on me about how there is NO excuse for ANYONE to eat that many carbs a day, and MFP is a crock if it sets your carbs so high, its setting you up for failure and your just gonna mess everything up, and to quit now before I destroy my chances at a "good diet" this went on for what seemed like forever I tried to argue that I wasn't doing some elimination diet, I needed to LEARN how to control what I put in my mouth, quanities and moderation, and she freaked out again. NO, its not about moderation, its about changing your life and what you eat. If you go out to dinner and they offer you a bread basket, its not about stopping yourself after one peice of bread, its about being able to not eat the bread at all. I told her that type of life style/ diet would never work for me, because I would start to feel like i'm suffering "without" and I just wanted to focus on eating RIGHT, and not about what I can and can not eat. Again, starts flipping out. "my mom is a nutrishionst, she knows this ****, if you don't want my advice dont talk to me about this crap, I don't want to hear it!" so I stopped talking to her about it...for awhile.
Than just a few days ago she noticed that I posted on facebook that I had lost 16 lbs, and she starts FREAKING out about that, it's only been 3 weeks, if youve managed to lose 16 lbs your doing it the wrong way and your just gonna fail, and your skin will never tighten and youll look worse "skinny" than you would fat. Your just messing everything up. I tried to remind her that at least 8 lbs of that was inital water weight, but she still freaked out on me. I also tried to remind her that not everyone can diet the same and that no two people have the same idea of "do's and don'ts" with eating healthier.
So now to my final point. Today. Just now, infact the conversation is still going on as I type this, but i've just got to the point where I'm like, "yeah, your right" "uhh huhh" "i know" and not truly paying attention. Lol
Anyway, I asked her if she had any recepies for low cal/carb deserts or treats to curve my sweet tooth. she said "you don't want to do that, it will jsut lead to more and more junk, and than youll get even more fat, and than it will never stop, you need to cut it out COMPLEATLY, I never had much of a sweet tooth, but my downfall was bread and until I cut it out compleatly I cheated, and you cant cheat on a diet, you need to go at least 6 months before you touch a sweet so you no longer have the cravings, and you can eat less of it" I instantly got peeved. Shes talking to me like shes a weight loss expert, when she DID manage too lose nearly 60 lbs, than GAIN it ALL back and than some within less than a years time. I hate it when super big people **and I'm a super big person myself** try to preach health advice, because CLEARLY, all my ideas of "health" worked out for me...RIGHT?? It makes no sence. Like a few weeks ago **before I started my life change** I was talking about eating animal crackers, and she starts spazzing out, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN THAT" than SLAPS it from my hand and throws it in the trash....I dont know about you, but I did't become over 200 lbs from eating salad and lean meats....so how could someone be nearly 300 lbs and have any idea of health conscience choices??? GAHH I just want to yell at her. ANYWAYYY Any low cal or low carb, or BOTH, treat recepes anyone?? I NEED MY FIX!
Don't ask her advice. Don't ask her for any recipes. Don't ask her for low calorie ideas. Don't talk to her about eating food.
If she suddenly sticks her oar in, just change the subject. The next time she chucks your food in the bin, walk away.
Why are you wasting your time? Continue doing what you are doing, she is not even in the equation, don't involve her in any aspect of your dieting.0 -
here's a little different spin .. i read a few pages of this post and didn't see this point of view expressed, so here goes...
from the time i was in highschool, i had to consciously watch what i ate and exercise to maintain my slender girlish figure. this went on for 40+ years and i did just fine. later on i joined weight watchers when i had gained about 30 pounds and again got things under control achieving my lifetime membership goal and maintenance. then i got a back injury and all bets were off. i was physically unable to get cardio exercise and my weight started climbing.. and now i am nearly 80 pounds overweight. i just figured out a way to get a fair cardio workout and have joined MFP to aid me in attaining my weight loss goal. (record keeping and accountability to others)
there have been times when people have ASKED my opinion and i am happy to give it. i do consider myself an expert in planning a healthy weight loss menu and managing calories. i even pride myself in adapting (suitable) recipes to the original weight watchers exchange plan. one aspect, here on MFP, i was never aware of when i was doing aerobics several times a week is figuring out how many calories were burned then eating back burned calories. i just knew if i did aerobics and ate sensible, i never had to worry about my weight.
so, not ALL overweight people are stupid about eating healthy and it pays to listen to all advice, see what sounds reasonable to you, and take what sounds useful to you. there is always more than one way to achieve a goal. also, it seems like most "skinny" people who have never had a weight problem don't have a clue. they never had to worry about counting a calorie. i have seen some advice from so called lifetime fitness experts here that doesn't make sense and could even be harmful.
ps: that does not mean i approve of anyone preaching where advice is not wanted, even if it is from an expert.
I completely agree with this! I am overweight/obese and I tend to give advice to friends who are trying to lose weight (even sometimes without them asking, just when the topic comes up) but I don't do it in an *kitten*-ish way. I too have struggled with my weight, but I too have lost a ton of weight several times....both the right and the wrong way. I have taken a big interest in nutrition, love biology and the way the body works so I have read and been through my own experiences to know what works for me. I also know friends who eat fast food, which I admit I still consume on occasion, but know that going over your necessary calories for a day is easy when all you eat is fast food. So I tell them these things. I am doing this weight loss for good this time, the right way. I HAVE done this before, my issue is I have a huge sweet tooth and I snack when I get bored. So I have adjusted my eating habits to be better and healthier. Not all of us who are obese/overweight are jealous. I personally want to give people I know who need to lose weight the common sense advice that most of us who come here already know. I am NOT jealous of anyone smaller than me, in fact I have always been comfortable emotionally/mentally with my weight regardless of how big i've gotten because I got over that crap when I was younger. I know that I MYSELF got me to where I am and am responsible for my weight. I know I am also responsible for taking it off as well and along the way, since I have done this several times and know that it's simply a matter of calories in/out, eating healthier and exercise when you can find the time is the right way to go about this.
Not all of us big girls are hateful people. I give advice to my friends who want to lose weight that just don't know the basic information that you should know on a weight loss journey. No jealousy here, I just love my friends enough to be outspoken about being fat. Most are happy to hear my opinion on this. And I completely understand there is a line between jealous and being a good friend. Just wanted to make a statement for the one fat girl here who isn't a big b*tch about it 0 -
OP Here.
Many people are telling me to drop this friend, let me explain why I have not done that. We have been best friends since we were in the 4th grade. we were always the "fat girls" Even if we were only 20ish lbs heaver than other children our age, we were always the "fat girls" and no one wanted to be our friends, so we clung to eachother life lifeboats to keep our heads just bearly above water. without her I surly would have been a mess, and I believe the same applys to her.
She is a *****, she is a know it all, shes rude, and obnxious, hateful even. But can I blame her???
We were tortured for years over our weight, so she fought back with torment and words, where is I just became a shy closet eater.
I LOVE her, shes my best friend, I want to share this wit her, I just don't want to be ripped apart for it because shes a bully.
Yes, shes a bully. She has bullied me half my life, I never understood why we stayed friends, why I could even stand her.
But when you have no one, its easy to except someone for every flaw the have even when it hurts you.
Still to this day, im 23 now, and she is still my only friend.
its funny how even with age and maturity, no one wants to be friends with the fat chick.0 -
Honestly, I think you can't make any other friends because she's holding you back. She's bullied you for so long that you think she is all there is. But if she disappeared tomorrow, would you really be alone and never make another friend?She has bullied me half my life, I never understood why we stayed friends, why I could even stand her.
But when you have no one, its easy to except someone for every flaw the have even when it hurts you.
Still to this day, im 23 now, and she is still my only friend.
its funny how even with age and maturity, no one wants to be friends with the fat chick.0 -
Please dump the crazy *kitten* from your friends list. Obviously, she's (a) psycho and (b) an *kitten*.
Case (a)
298 lbs at 5'4" and doling out diet advice like she's Jesus. HELLO DELUSIONAL.
Case (b)
Slapping your hand and throwing your food out. HELLO *kitten*.
Seriously, dump her. Get closer to your other friends and/or get involved with new friends through activity groups that you enjoy. You don't need to waste anymore time on this one. She's a nut that is not going to crack for you.
Friendship is about mutual respect and caring for one another. Her trying to bully you into doing things her way is NOT friendship. That's being a psychotic *kitten*.0 -
lol, I must be doing it wrong then? 150carbs is WAY TOO LOW for me, haha. I don't do low carb, but as for recipes or food ideas nuts of all kinds (just pick your fave), bacon, eggs, soy products, beans, turkey, ground turkey recipes for like tacos or anyway you use ground beef, etc. . .0
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OP Here.
Many people are telling me to drop this friend, let me explain why I have not done that. We have been best friends since we were in the 4th grade. we were always the "fat girls" Even if we were only 20ish lbs heaver than other children our age, we were always the "fat girls" and no one wanted to be our friends, so we clung to eachother life lifeboats to keep our heads just bearly above water. without her I surly would have been a mess, and I believe the same applys to her.
She is a *****, she is a know it all, shes rude, and obnxious, hateful even. But can I blame her???
We were tortured for years over our weight, so she fought back with torment and words, where is I just became a shy closet eater.
I LOVE her, shes my best friend, I want to share this wit her, I just don't want to be ripped apart for it because shes a bully.
Yes, shes a bully. She has bullied me half my life, I never understood why we stayed friends, why I could even stand her.
But when you have no one, its easy to except someone for every flaw the have even when it hurts you.
Still to this day, im 23 now, and she is still my only friend.
its funny how even with age and maturity, no one wants to be friends with the fat chick.
I appreciate wholeheartedly your loyalty to your friend. You are obviously a really great friend and she is lucky to have you.
With that said, perhaps you can:
A) avoid talks about diet/fitness like the plague with this friend.
when you post anything weight related on facebook, customize your post so that she can't see it. She will be able to see your other posts but not the ones about weight/diet/etc.
It sounds like maybe she doesn't want to deal with her own weight issues right now, and if you bring up diet or weight loss, she may be feeling like you're rubbing it in her face. After reading about your friendship I think it is very likely, as well, that she is afraid of being the "lone fat girl" without her buddy. You losing weight poses a threat to her, in her own mind.
Keep up the great work! You can do this! 0 -
My daddy's a cardiologist and he knows a lot about hearts. I do too so now you can call me Dr. Love!0
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My daddy's a cardiologist and he knows a lot about hearts. I do too so now you can call me Dr. Love!
I thought you were Dr. Feelgood.
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I have a friend whos is super obese, she is 5' 4 inches and weighs 298, yet every single time I try to talk about my diet she acts like shes an expert because her mom is a nutrishionst. I was talking about my carbs being at 150, she started FREAKING out on me about how there is NO excuse for ANYONE to eat that many carbs a day, and MFP is a crock if it sets your carbs so high, its setting you up for failure and your just gonna mess everything up, and to quit now before I destroy my chances at a "good diet" this went on for what seemed like forever I tried to argue that I wasn't doing some elimination diet, I needed to LEARN how to control what I put in my mouth, quanities and moderation, and she freaked out again. NO, its not about moderation, its about changing your life and what you eat. If you go out to dinner and they offer you a bread basket, its not about stopping yourself after one peice of bread, its about being able to not eat the bread at all. I told her that type of life style/ diet would never work for me, because I would start to feel like i'm suffering "without" and I just wanted to focus on eating RIGHT, and not about what I can and can not eat. Again, starts flipping out. "my mom is a nutrishionst, she knows this ****, if you don't want my advice dont talk to me about this crap, I don't want to hear it!" so I stopped talking to her about it...for awhile.
Than just a few days ago she noticed that I posted on facebook that I had lost 16 lbs, and she starts FREAKING out about that, it's only been 3 weeks, if youve managed to lose 16 lbs your doing it the wrong way and your just gonna fail, and your skin will never tighten and youll look worse "skinny" than you would fat. Your just messing everything up. I tried to remind her that at least 8 lbs of that was inital water weight, but she still freaked out on me. I also tried to remind her that not everyone can diet the same and that no two people have the same idea of "do's and don'ts" with eating healthier.
So now to my final point. Today. Just now, infact the conversation is still going on as I type this, but i've just got to the point where I'm like, "yeah, your right" "uhh huhh" "i know" and not truly paying attention. Lol
Anyway, I asked her if she had any recepies for low cal/carb deserts or treats to curve my sweet tooth. she said "you don't want to do that, it will jsut lead to more and more junk, and than youll get even more fat, and than it will never stop, you need to cut it out COMPLEATLY, I never had much of a sweet tooth, but my downfall was bread and until I cut it out compleatly I cheated, and you cant cheat on a diet, you need to go at least 6 months before you touch a sweet so you no longer have the cravings, and you can eat less of it" I instantly got peeved. Shes talking to me like shes a weight loss expert, when she DID manage too lose nearly 60 lbs, than GAIN it ALL back and than some within less than a years time. I hate it when super big people **and I'm a super big person myself** try to preach health advice, because CLEARLY, all my ideas of "health" worked out for me...RIGHT?? It makes no sence. Like a few weeks ago **before I started my life change** I was talking about eating animal crackers, and she starts spazzing out, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN THAT" than SLAPS it from my hand and throws it in the trash....I dont know about you, but I did't become over 200 lbs from eating salad and lean meats....so how could someone be nearly 300 lbs and have any idea of health conscience choices??? GAHH I just want to yell at her. ANYWAYYY Any low cal or low carb, or BOTH, treat recepes anyone?? I NEED MY FIX!
People will do that regardless of being obese or not, and mostly they never know what they are talking about. Just need to stick with what you're doing and hope people will realise that you can achieve success without limiting carbs/atkins/south beach/diet pills/shakes or whatever else people will push that is the magical solution for weight loss.
Oh.. and I am also formerly obese.. but I also knew/know a lot about food/nutrition (like how many carbs/fat/calories in stuff, what foods are good and contain various nutrients) and fitness (eg, stuff about lifting, HIIT, best exercise for different muscles.. more so than most people I know) so I don't think people should automatically dismiss a persons opinion or advice cause they are obese :P0 -
My daddy's a cardiologist and he knows a lot about hearts. I do too so now you can call me Dr. Love!
Mmmm! Do you think you could check my heart, Dr. Love?
:::70's porn music playing in the background:::0 -
I'm fat, and I have lots of friends. Being fat doesn't make people not want to be your friend. Acting like a psycho will alienate them, though. Have you ever thought that perhaps the reason that people avoided YOU was because of HER?
And you say she is a bully. If she were a man and you were in a relationship, it would be called abuse. Just because she is female doesn't change that. Bullying IS abuse.
If you truly want to stay her friend, then you REALLY need to learn to set boundaries with her. If she can't accept that, so be it. The reality is that you are young - you have your whole life ahead of you - and at some point the 2 of you will probably grow apart ...it happens all the time. People change. However - if you are unwilling to do these things - then you are ultimately just as responsible for her behavior towards you as she is. You have the free will to walk away at any time...so if you choose to stay - that's on you.0
This discussion has been closed.
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