once a cheater always a cheater - true or false?
fatty2fabby
Posts: 415 Member
False for me. I'm going to be 100% honest - at the beginning of my relationship I did cheat on my boyfriend. I confessed this to him and we moved on. I was young and stupid. I still am young and stupid but I learnt A LOT from what I did and would never do it to anyone ever again. We're 4 months away from our 6 year anniversary and I've been nothing but faithful since that day.
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False0
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Doing stupid things as a teenager is expected. You were about 16 when this happened? I can see that... who hasn't done stupid things as a teenager??
For me - a married adult - if my husband cheated on me it really wouldn't matter because I wouldn't stay around to find out.
We're adults. It's a choice. Cheating is a disrespecting, dishonorable, selfish, cowardly choice.
If a person is so weak that they're willing to potentially sacrifice their relationship or family for a cheap thrill, they should not be in a committed relationship.
If a person is so miserable in their current relationship they enter into a full fledged affair - they should have left the bad relationship.
My view as a 39 year old woman is: There is no justification for cheating. It means that you are weak of moral character and cowardly. Chances are you'll stay that way too.0 -
False. I have been with my current boyfriend on and off since i turned 17 (20 going on 21 now). Not to say we cheated on each other but on our "off times" we both did whatever we wanted to thinking we werent getting back together. Then ended up together again. Well, my point is i would be stupid to think that starting a relationship in high school we would live out our lives without ever being with anyone else. Im not saying its right but we are human when your so young in a serious relationship *kitten* happens and you have no choice but to learn from it and move on. You live and you learn. Im sure your relationship is stronger after moving on from that.0
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I always say there are 2 types of cheaters...
One type cheats like there's no tomorrow. You can say they don't have a conscious. They do it for whatever reason and usually don't think about the consequences. These cheaters I'd say will always be cheaters. It's a condition of the heart. Even if they physically stop cheating, they'll always play around with the idea. They'll enjoy playing with fire w/o the burn.
Then there are the cheaters who make the biggest mistake of their life. They're remorseful, they're disgusted with themselves and will do anything to make it right. These usually will never cheat again because they're terrified at the hurt they caused. Also, these folks will stay away from anything remotely close to cheating because they know how easy the slippery slope is. These are cheaters who once were.. but not always will be.0 -
I was a notorious cheater when I was in High School, but I kinda think that's a coming-of-age thing. I have since learned the errors of my ways, when I grew up quite a bit. It's a teenage thing.0
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Tough question with lots of situational variables, but if we're talking about mature adults who have outgrown the "date more than one person at a time" attitude of high school or college - I think for some, it could be a careless mistake that they sorely regret. For others, it's a habit like any other and they either have the self discipline to break it or they don't.
Early in a relationship there can often be misunderstanding about the expectation of monogamy - the earlier this question is discussed, the more clear the consequences.
I've been married 15 years, and have been with my husband for 17 years now. He knows there are only two reasons I would ever leave: physical abuse or infidelity. In my mind, they're equally devastating and wouldn't ever warrant a second chance.0 -
always cheated as a teen (no not proud) never even looked at another guy since i met my husband in 2003
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pretty sure you can't throw anyone that's ever cheated into one of the two camps.
it's like saying "men are pigs" or "women are sh*tty drivers"
far too dumb of a statement.0 -
pretty sure you can't throw anyone that's ever cheated into one of the two camps.
it's like saying "men are pigs" or "women are sh*tty drivers"
far too dumb of a statement.
^ I agree with this aside from the part about women driving.
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pretty sure you can't throw anyone that's ever cheated into one of the two camps.
it's like saying "men are pigs" or "women are sh*tty drivers"
far too dumb of a statement.
I totally agree with this!0 -
I think this statement is true for some, but not all.
A friend of mine cheated on her husband exactly one time. She's never told him. It would have (and probably still would) blown up their family. But it's been 10 years and she never did it again.0 -
I always say there are 2 types of cheaters...
One type cheats like there's no tomorrow. You can say they don't have a conscious. They do it for whatever reason and usually don't think about the consequences. These cheaters I'd say will always be cheaters. It's a condition of the heart. Even if they physically stop cheating, they'll always play around with the idea. They'll enjoy playing with fire w/o the burn.
Then there are the cheaters who make the biggest mistake of their life. They're remorseful, they're disgusted with themselves and will do anything to make it right. These usually will never cheat again because they're terrified at the hurt they caused. Also, these folks will stay away from anything remotely close to cheating because they know how easy the slippery slope is. These are cheaters who once were.. but not always will be.
^^^^^ This.0 -
"men are pigs"
I always find this funny when I hear this......in my experience, women are as bad, or worse, than men. Jus sayin....0 -
I hope false. I am not a cheater, but have been cheated on! I think it was his way of dealing with a tough time in our relationship. Not to mention that some only want what they can't really ever completely have. This amazes me. People can be dogs all on their own...Don't help them out!0
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False.
Everyone is capable of changing their ways, that's just my belief though.0 -
Not sure what the statistics would be; it may be more true than false. In my paerticular case, I am going to say False.
I'm married to my 4th wife. I've had many relationships in my life.
I have to say that I cheated on every woman I ever had a relationship or marriage to, until I met Jan. I have been with her for 23 years now and never strayed once.
I'm not sure if it's because I'm older now and less attractive or if Jan is the only woman that still likes me, but I have never cheated on her and I am 100% sure I never will. Flirt like crazy, occasionally make inappropriate comments, but I will never betray her trust.0 -
pretty sure you can't throw anyone that's ever cheated into one of the two camps.
it's like saying "men are pigs" or "women are sh*tty drivers"
far too dumb of a statement.
^ I agree with this aside from the part about women driving.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
False. But as with most things, it depends on a lot of factors. Such as whether the relationship is meeting everyone's needs, and whether the people IN the relationship are fully in touch with themselves and their emotions/motivations.0
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all depends on the person. ive seen some cheat and never do it again and ive seen some that seem to not be happy unless they are cheating0
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It really does depend. For me, I'd be too disgusted with myself for cheating that I don't think I'd ever do it again. Like a lot of other people that posted, when I was a teenager...well, I guess technically I still am, but when I was a much younger teenager, I did cheat on a boyfriend once, and lied about it, too. I didn't really consider it cheating what I was doing, but it had turned out that my bf at the time did, so I guess it was. Anyway, even though both of those guys never amounted to anything, and are total *kitten*, I still feel bad about what I did. It was a sleezy thing to do. Since I met my fiance two years ago, though, I haven't even been attracted to another man. I just haven't gotten the urge to look because I like what I have right here. So, no, once a cheater, not always a cheater.0
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For me - a married adult - if my husband cheated on me it really wouldn't matter because I wouldn't stay around to find out.
We're adults. It's a choice. Cheating is a disrespecting, dishonorable, selfish, cowardly choice.
If a person is so weak that they're willing to potentially sacrifice their relationship or family for a cheap thrill, they should not be in a committed relationship.
If a person is so miserable in their current relationship they enter into a full fledged affair - they should have left the bad relationship.
There is no justification for cheating. It means that you are weak of moral character and cowardly. Chances are you'll stay that way too.
I agree with this! ^^0 -
Definitely false. People change. People who don't change stagnate.
I also think there are as many kinds of cheaters as there are people. I don't believe you can categorise people. Every single person is individual and different and does things for their own reasons.0 -
False!0
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Just because you cheated once doesn't mean you will cheat again, but that doesn't change the fact that you cheated. I don't know if I would stay with someone who cheated on me, but that doesn't mean that the same person would cheat with the next person either.0
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Too many factors to say true or false.. My ex boyfriend cheated on me and I found out from his sister, who I still talk to now and again that he has cheated on everyone he has been with since. Personally I have never cheated and my husband has never been with anyone else but me in his entire life so I know he hasn't.0
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False for me. I'm going to be 100% honest - at the beginning of my relationship I did cheat on my boyfriend. I confessed this to him and we moved on. I was young and stupid. I still am young and stupid but I learnt A LOT from what I did and would never do it to anyone ever again. We're 4 months away from our 6 year anniversary and I've been nothing but faithful since that day.
You told him about us ??? :noway: :bigsmile:0 -
true.
i have NEVER cheated and wont date a woman who is a cheater. i may be missing out on some people but maybe they better lie to me and tell me they've never cheated.. but when i find out they are a liar lol its over.
cheaters and liars are one in the same.0 -
At 27 my girlfriend is a habitual cheater. She cheats whenever she's feeling insecure in her relationship. She is a gorgeous girl, but highly insecure. When she feels like her s/o is having doubts or she's not getting what she needs (mainly attention) from the relationship, she finds attention elsewhere. Unfortunately she is driven to cheat by her own insecurity. Until she is able to overcome that, I'm afraid she'll always be a cheater.0
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Probably true. For a myriad of reasons.0
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I wouldn't say "once a cheater always a cheater", but if my husband ever cheated on me I wouldn't be able to find out if he'd do it again, cuz his butt would be kicked out of the house and my life. sHE beLIEveD0
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