Does You Spouse Motivate Or Complicate Your Weight Loss?

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  • zlem
    zlem Posts: 92
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    mine is supportive with loads of compliments etc but it's so hard sometimes when he will go out and buy fast food for dinner or steak and cheese pies for breakfast... or goes shopping and brings home chocolate biscuits and chicken crimpy shapes (my favourite!) or when he pours a massive sugary alcoholic drink and nags me to try it. He tells me "oh you're doing well you deserve a treat!"
    I'm not a freakin dog don't reward me with food! lol
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    Generally a help because he like healthy home cooked food, doesn't eat dessert or other sweet stuff (apart from fruit) and has been mostly positive about the weight I'velost.

    The things that aren't so helpful was early on when he looked hurt and surprised every time i refused a glass of wine with dinner. Now he looks more surprised if I have one, it just took a bit of getting use to.
    He also went through a period of worrying about me losing too much weight and getting obsessed, I haven't had any of those comments for a while, I think he's noticed my weight stabilising and see that I eat and drink plenty and am very healthy.
    And he worries about me exercising too much or getting injured (which has happened!).

    Overall, though, I'm very lucky!
  • hybridscientist
    hybridscientist Posts: 93 Member
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    I'm not a freakin dog don't reward me with food! lol

    lol
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,245 Member
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    both, i think she's tired of me talking about my fitness progress all the time. but she do, support my eating habit, tools and efforts to lose weight
  • douglasmobbs
    douglasmobbs Posts: 563 Member
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    My wife is amazing, her support is really helping me.
  • Miatta81
    Miatta81 Posts: 9
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    Hi everyone,

    This is my first response on MFP. I never respond to mails on anything (not even Facebook and such)!

    Anyway, after reading everyone's response I feel truly blessed. My husband is fantastic! He is willing to accommodate me in any way possible. He weighs everything if he is preparing a meal (I know he would prefer not to but he does). He also eats healthy along with me and does 30DS with me as well. He loves sweets but does not eat them around me to encourage me (he eats them at work).

    He even got me motivated to train for a marathon. He runs a lot faster than I do but decided to train and run with me. I really appreciate his help, support and love. Writing this makes me realize how lucky I am.

    I wish all you ladies the same. It sure does make it a lot easier and fun to be in this together.

    Good luck and thanks for all the motivation and success stories. They help enormously!
  • kayx199189
    kayx199189 Posts: 42 Member
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    mine gives me a pat on back wen I lose weight bt wen it comes to being helpful well he's just not very helpful, wen i'm aving bad days and want chocolate or a taleaway he offers to get me them which is then hard to say no I can't have them, plus he also eat chocolate infront of me, also he has th cooking ability ov a three year old so I have to cook him his unhealthy fatty meal because of course he has eat and eat and eat and not put a pound on, which I want to kill him over
  • SweetJoanne
    SweetJoanne Posts: 106 Member
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    My partner is very helpful introduced me to my fitness pal although I didn't use if for the longest time now I use it all the time it really helps. I find he gives me lots of hints as he is very fit and a faithful gym user. We don't see each other every day so it is nice when I see him and he tells me he can tell I have lost weight. Also he gives me little encouragements and goals, I don't have a huge amount to loose 50 lbs and am down 10 already but my next goal is to be down another 10 by April 8th and if I am down my 50 lbs by dec then I will get a nice vacation paid for me so these things are huge encouragements. If you didn't have a partner that encouraged you then it would be different. My ex husband never ever paid my a compliment even when I was slim, I have always dressed nice and my present boyfriend tells me all the time how nice I look which goes a long way to making you want to look better
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    My husband while he is supportive (he told me yesterday that he loves the way I look now, not that i was "fat" before. ) he is happy with being how he is. Last night he made peanut butter icing and baked apples. I was leary on eating it, because ever since I started tracking calories, it has made me more aware of what goes in, but i did eat some. I was also like this when I was pregnant. Well, i know I am going to pay for it, and i exercised like no tomorrow and still kinda fell short. Its kinda hard when he doesn't work out with me, but he is a reason (along with my son) as to why i am trying to get healthier and weigh less.
  • soagirl777
    soagirl777 Posts: 52 Member
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    My hubby is def supportive! He's totally embraced my trying to eat/cook low fat and using healthy substitutions. He always asks me how i'm doing, what my weight was that morning. He's always told me that he's extremely attracted to me but hearing it now, I actually feel more worthy b/c I'm becoming happy with myself. :wink:
  • sgressock
    sgressock Posts: 47 Member
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    When I started losing weight my husband and I both weighed over 230 lbs. it was so hard to lose by myself because he just wanted to eat and eat crap food. Eventually I stopped cooking two separate dinners, and let him fend for himself. He ate chicken nuggets every night for dinner haha. It hurt me though because as I was getting smaller and learning new things, I saw how unhealthy he was.

    Eventually he saw that he was getting out of control and started losing weight as well. He is now 25 lbs down (yay) and he helps me continue my journey every day.
  • Justducky83
    Justducky83 Posts: 3 Member
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    He is supportive of anything that I want to do. The type of husband that thinks I am fine just the way I am. But he cheers me on and doesn't try to sabotage me.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    My husband motivates and complicates my weight loss, or rather weight maintenance now. Having and active and healthy life with him is my best motivation. And he loves the healthy meals I cooks and luckily has never liked sweets. But he also was constantly telling me that I looked good and didn't need to lose, the entire time I was losing. Which is very sweet, but not very motivational.
  • taylmarie
    taylmarie Posts: 161
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    Overall, I would say supportive. He asked how he could help and we decided he could stop offering me a share when he is snacking and he will not call me to ask if I want anything when he is coming home (rarely) with fast food or something of the sort. I do all of the food shopping and when I cook healthy meals he will eat them happily and just supplement his calories with smoothies, shakes and snacks. He also knows a fair amount about fitness and nutrition so he helps me with questions about workouts and nutrients and what not. The only thing he is not good at (silly as it might be) is complimenting me or acknowledging my success. After I had our son I got in awesome shape and worked so hard and he never said a word. I have since gained weight and told him I would appreciate a little verbal affirmation as I work hard to reach my goals. Hopefully, he will oblige :)

    Luckily, we are all here to support each other!
  • Aureilie
    Aureilie Posts: 213 Member
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    My fiance (who is also on MFP) is very supportive. I'm lucky that he's on board and likes to cook. He was a professional ballet dancer and is try to get back down to close to his performance weight so we're in this together.
  • pineapple1989
    pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
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    My boyfriend (who lives with me) is am amazing help, he is so supportive, always encouraging me and picking me up when I get down. I think the best thing about him though is that he keeps me grounded, he doesnt let me get carried away with the dieting and reminds me that its OK to have a treat every once in a while, to be honest I think without him I could easily get obsessed with it all... he is dieting too so I think the fact that we are in the same mindset helps too.
  • bugbeenz
    bugbeenz Posts: 31
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    Very supportive..occasionally he cracks jokes at my expense, but it's all light-hearted and I giggle along with him. Funny this thread has come up as I was just saying yesterday how great he's been. He rings me mid-morning every day to see how my exercising is going, reminds me gently that perhaps dessert two days in a row isn't the best idea etc.. He doesn't eat crap either so we eat together and he isn't all that big on huge portions, which is great (it's shown me I was actually eating nearly double his portions before starting here!)
  • AnnInTexas
    AnnInTexas Posts: 75 Member
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    I LOVE this topic!!! I find myself thinking about this often.
    I would say my hubby is very proud of my efforts and probably pretty supportive. It's me that makes it all complicated.

    I am always concerned about what he is eating when I'm trying to eat healthy. I'm completely fine making myself a Healthy Choice dinner, but I dont think it's fair to him to come home from work and not have a decent meal... so I end up letting my concern about what he's eating -- sabotage myself!

    By the same token, if I don't eat something healthy, he will caution me that he doesn't want me to undo all the good I've done. I know his intentions are good, but that can easily hurt my feelings.

    Guess I don't really have this weight loss journey figured out yet.
  • kristelpoole
    kristelpoole Posts: 440 Member
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    My partner is overall really great. He congratulates me on my accomplishments and tells me I feel smaller now when he puts his arms around me. I do almost all the cooking and he loves everything I make, even though I don't eat (or cook) meat, and he doesn't have the audacity to request it from me. He joined my gym and goes with me sometimes and he lost a ton of weight when I moved in a year ago because he started eating so much healthier. He tells me I'm beautiful every single day and he loves my curves.

    The part that demotivates me isn't even his fault. He's 6'0" tall and really thin - only 165 pounds. That's easier for me to stomach at 149 than it was when I weighed 159, but when he pats his belly and says he feels fat, I want to smack him. I've told him it makes me feel fat when he does that, since he is so skinny, but I think he just forgets. He's obviously not trying to hurt my feelings, I'm just THAT good at doing it on my own. Haha.

    Anyway, the best part of all of this is that he is going to quit smoking on 3/31, which makes me suuuuper excited. And he'll eat anywhere I want when we go out and he will eat anything I make. I just wish I wasn't so inclined to drink with him or share his nachos when we're out, but I don't expect anyone to be perfect. :)
  • Jackiales
    Jackiales Posts: 24 Member
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    I empathize with you greatly. My boyfriend is a semi professional lacross player. When we first me he used to eat taco bell three times a week and still have a six pack because he worked out at the gym so much. Now he's at Crossfit & on the Paello (no wheat or dairy and 100% natural food). He's on a stricter diet than me now. So we are very much supportive in that we shop for veggies, clean meats and keep dairy & PB out of the house.
    I've never had the drive to kill myself in a workout. I find 5k's and kickball games just fine whereas he runs tough mudders and travels for Lax.
    He's so kind and passionate but I find him an extra guilt trip when I'm standing on the scale. I want to get in shape for me & he wants me to feel confident. I just don't like the friendly boot camp instructor so close to MY diet. Also feels like I'm being coached (he's a lax coach for youth too). So with firm boundaries we keep the discussion light!lol

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