The 'Dating Game' and why I think it's a load of garbage!

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24

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  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
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    I have found that men have much more respect for me when I'm just being myself and enjoying their company as opposed to trying to follow a set of "rules". I'm a fun person, and I've been told I have a "sparkling personality". If that personality is one of my assets, then why would I want to hide that behind a facade?
  • freffenwolfe
    freffenwolfe Posts: 4 Member
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    Games are for the playground. If you want an immature douche bag, then act like one yourself! Like attracts like! I'm with you hon, games are pathetic and sad.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    maybe this is for older people but girls i am looking for unfortunately are senior high school - early college soo....very hard to figure out
  • mego07
    mego07 Posts: 234 Member
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    I completely agree with you! If they can't handle us on the first date, then they wouldn't be able to handle us in the long run. Why waste time on that?!

    Went on a date last Wednesday and the guy was really nice and I text him the next morning saying we should do it again. He didn't really respond with anything so now I know not to worry about it. No hurt feeling on my end and now I can move on to the next guy that meets my fancy.
  • KatieJane83
    KatieJane83 Posts: 2,002 Member
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    I just got through reading "Why Men Love *****es".

    She used the word ***** as in someone who puts herself 1st.. not a nasty bitter woman. Still, you're supposed to pretty much have the guy begging at your door by ignoring him, not cooking for him until like a year later of dating (only do super sweet things later on and not frequently)..

    If you don't do this, then you're a doormat girl and guys don't like easy. They like challenges. They like to follow a woman around like a helpless puppy dog. Hmmm.

    Maybe I'll test this theory just to see..

    This is bull**** and I'm proof.
    If she makes me chase her, she will look behind and see me walking the other way.

    LOVE THIS!
  • KatieJane83
    KatieJane83 Posts: 2,002 Member
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    Okay, you got my interest! Want to go out? :D...Shoot, you're in NY. I'm afraid my private jet is in the shop so it will have to wait.

    Oh Utah, yeah that's kinda far! Lol Thank you though, love it!
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    I just got through reading "Why Men Love *****es".

    She used the word ***** as in someone who puts herself 1st.. not a nasty bitter woman. Still, you're supposed to pretty much have the guy begging at your door by ignoring him, not cooking for him until like a year later of dating (only do super sweet things later on and not frequently)..

    If you don't do this, then you're a doormat girl and guys don't like easy. They like challenges. They like to follow a woman around like a helpless puppy dog. Hmmm.

    Maybe I'll test this theory just to see..

    Interesting...this is probably why you are still single. Not everyone is the same..better, they are unique and think for themselves.
  • Curve
    Curve Posts: 1 Member
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    Yeah, that whole rules thing just lands you in the clutches of guys who are super into themselves and their power and prowess. Yawn. I'd prefer a guy who likes to simply have fun and enjoy stuff. if he needs me to be some June Cleaver/Paris Hilton hybrid we're both going to be bored and boring.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    Life has taught me plenty in the realm of the heart....All I can say is this...

    Be yourself. If someone has interest, they will be at the forefront and let you know. Keep your eyes, mind and heart open, or you will easily miss them. The most amazing individual that life can present you the opportunity to share your journeys together, could have just said hello.


    Love is blind...no matter what anyone else says....You love on faith and belief that another is genuine in who they are. Love as a blind person does.
  • KatieJane83
    KatieJane83 Posts: 2,002 Member
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    Yeah, that whole rules thing just lands you in the clutches of guys who are super into themselves and their power and prowess. Yawn. I'd prefer a guy who likes to simply have fun and enjoy stuff. if he needs me to be some June Cleaver/Paris Hilton hybrid we're both going to be bored and boring.

    Exactly. For those that play the game and believe in it, I'm fairly certain it's them having a need to have power because they're actually insecure in themselves. They need to 'lure' and 'catch' someone, like a hunter. Problem is, does the prey ever end up loving their hunter? Sad really.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    is it actually dating that you don't like or the dumb rules you hear people talk(and don't follow) about that bothers you?
  • MelHoneyRocks
    MelHoneyRocks Posts: 223
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    I have a lot to say about this...but I will save that for my Dating 101 class.
  • KatieJane83
    KatieJane83 Posts: 2,002 Member
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    is it actually dating that you don't like or the dumb rules you hear people talk(and don't follow) about that bothers you?

    No, I like dating! For the most part I'm having good experiences and meeting guys that aren't into the game thing. It's the supposed 'rules' and the people that believe in them that I'm talking about.

    And there are definitely those that do believe in them and follow them, lol.
  • katherinemm31
    katherinemm31 Posts: 163
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    I'm reading these posts and thanking the cosmos I'm no longer in the dating game. You all have my deepest sympathies! No one should have to play games like these! When I was dating, I was never good them. I hate feeling I can't be up front and honest.
  • bbbgamer
    bbbgamer Posts: 582 Member
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    I'm more of a what you see is what you get type. You will never have to guess what I am thinking.
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
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    I always sucked at the 'rules' of dating. I am a single parent and had my hands full enough with work, kids and trying to have a social life. It is just much simiplier to be myself and to be honest. If I liked you I let you know, if there was no chemistry I let you know. If I had fun I made sure you knew and knew how much I appreciated the fun we had. If I want to have sex with you I do..
    No games, no rules just me and who I am. I dont ask for more than I want in return..
    OP if you keep going, it may take a while but you will find the 'real' people you wish to date and from there you will find the one and the two of you will be happier sooner.. Good luck..
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I agree that most people who have been married/divorced are past the "rules" and games associated with dating. My first marriage was like one big long game, trying to change each other and trying to change ourselves for the other person-- it's just exhausting. On some level a relationship needs to be easy, so that when the hard stuff comes and you have to work, it doesn't feel so much like work.
  • george_ie_girl
    george_ie_girl Posts: 120 Member
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    I started googling the "Why men love *****es" and it actually seemed alright.

    After reading some quotes - despite the provocative title - it's pretty much saying be your own person, stay independent and don't give them all the power in a relationship. Which I agree with.
  • jenlb99
    jenlb99 Posts: 213 Member
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    You sound like me! I married at 20, divorced at 25, and dated one guy since the divorce. I'm now 30 and have NO CLUE what I'm doing. I basically have a "high school diploma" when it comes to dating (since I basically stopped dating at 18), where all the men in my age group are pros and have been playing this crazy "dating game" for well over a decade...

    I don't see the point in the games; the rules are conflicting and not applicable to every person. It's exhausting trying to figure it all out...and faaaar easier staying single. I'm assuming some guy will come along and force me out of my free agent status eventually.

    EDIT: I tried the direct approach with a guy I had known through friends since we were 13 -- but I did it via text. We had been flirting back and forth for years, but because he doesn't live here, nothing became of it. I told him exactly what I thought of him, and I didn't hear anything back from him. Obviously the direct approach doesn't work for everyone! lol Yes, texting is lame, but I am SUPER shy and knew I'd chicken out...but at least I now know what he thinks of me.

    It's scary out there!
  • KatieJane83
    KatieJane83 Posts: 2,002 Member
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    I agree that most people who have been married/divorced are past the "rules" and games associated with dating. My first marriage was like one big long game, trying to change each other and trying to change ourselves for the other person-- it's just exhausting. On some level a relationship needs to be easy, so that when the hard stuff comes and you have to work, it doesn't feel so much like work.

    I very much agree with this, based on my own experience. I know they say all relationships take work, and of course this is true. But they shouldn't be hard or a challenge all the time. Because then what's the point?

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