Real Live friends as MFP friends...

carriem73

So, I have a quandry- One of my real-life friends has sent me a friend request through MFP-

I use MFP almost like a diary, and I appreciate the annonimity- being able to share my thoughts and get feedback from strangers- does anyone else see it that way? Do you have your real life friends as MFP friends?

thoughts????

ladykate7

I have a friend, who's also a co-worker, that's on here. She's actually the person who introduced me to the site. I love having her on here. We don't check out or stalk each other's profile pages, we give each other a nudge when we notice the other hasn't been logging for a few days. And a congrats when one of us logged a workout. She's awesome for helping get through the work day. Helping each other make good choices around all the free food in the break room. And making efforts to eat well when we hang out outside of work.

But all that depends on the friend and your relationship.

AwesomelyAmber

I couldn't understand MORE than I do!!! Yikes. It's a slippery slope. I had a few friends on here that are (were) my friends in real life first. I found that I was much more serious about doing what needed to be done for myself and I eventually deleted them from my friends list after seeing over and over that they were not logging in. I guess it depends on the friend and depends on you... My experience did not end well for my 'real life friendships'. But I am perfectly ok with it. My journey is MINE. Good luck to you. It's a double edged sword that's for sure.

bikermike5094

I find it easier to not have any friends on MFP period. I just read and post on the boards.

cherigurl

I actually have to real life friends on my site, and I love it, My cousin who is my best friemd, and another friend, they are the best motivators, we are all here for the same reason, i text my cousin all the time about MFP, I don't think I would have it any other way. I guess you have to ask your self if you feel comfrtable enough to have them as a friend.

6mimi

I have one real life friend on MFP and really enjoy her on this site. She lives two houses down from me and we talk nearly every day anyways. It's fun to have the team spirit. I think I would only want my closest real life friends or family members. If it were just someone I didn't know very well or someone from work it may be uncomfortable.

squishycow7

I totally feel that way!!!

I have no real friends on here. I've even been hesitant to recommend the site because I don't want to feel obligated to friend them.

selfish? yes. silly? probably.

but I'm stickin to it for now!

edit to say - I actually am quite open about striving to lose weight/ be fit but for some reason I keep MFP private..

Canadien

I would hate having a real-life friend on here. This is a place for ME and MY goals, and I'd feel like I couldn't really focus if my friends were here.

XXXMinnieXXX

my sister is going to join, will be strange as i can kinda say what i feel on here with nobody i know here knowing... im glad shes coming on at the same time though, it will really help her! x

KBrenOH

I couldn't understand MORE than I do!!! Yikes. It's a slippery slope. I had a few friends on here that are (were) my friends in real life first. I found that I was much more serious about doing what needed to be done for myself and I eventually deleted them from my friends list after seeing over and over that they were not logging in. I guess it depends on the friend and depends on you... My experience did not end well for my 'real life friendships'. But I am perfectly ok with it. My journey is MINE. Good luck to you. It's a double edged sword that's for sure.

This is me -- I took off my real life friends that I had on here for the exact reason stated.

seehawkmomma

two of my very dearest real life friends are on here....it works out great for me,

YMTaylor

If you don't feel comfortable with that real friend seeing your posts then I'd let her know that and decline. I actually made a rule when I started that I would only accept friend requests from people I knew in real life. That's what I felt comfortable so you just need to stick with what you feel comfortable with.

galegetsthin

two of my very dearest real life friends are on here....it works out great for me,

Awwwww....... I didn't know you felt so strongly about me. Especially since we haven't really met.

hiker282

One of my best friends was on MFP for a little while (she left after she got pregnant again), but it was a great way to keep motivated. that was my experience. Oh, my friend also worked with me so she knew if I ate something at work and didn't log it. It helped keep me accountable

JanetLM73

I have friends on here from another support group for childen born with the birth defect my daughter was born with....they are like my second family and I love that some of them are taking this weightloss journey with me.

AmberJslimsAWAY

I would never tell my real life friends what I weigh

grrrlface

I used to but they no longer long in after 5 months or so. It was weird because I totally understand where you're coming from :-)

Pandorian

I have one "Real life" friend on here, we are both working to improve our lives so it just makes sense... we also live together so...

But being randomly "Friended" out of the blue when you don't want RL friends finding you? That's why this particular ID is unique to me here at MFP it won't be used by ME at any other site, no one can "find me" as me unless I tell them my username so we can add each other, they can't just go to random sites and try my "known" usernames and find me... each site has it's own unique handle and that's my reasoning behind it :P

76tech

I have three real life friends on here. Wouldn't mind having more, since I won't say anything on here I wouldn't say in person.

shira324

I agree. I have a few friends on here who are real-life friends, and it's very tricky. We have very different starting weights, goals and dedications to this process. It gets awkward sometimes, and has already spurned some hurt feelings (we're not all losing weight at the same rate, as is to be expected, and some people are taking that badly.) I'm thinking about weeding them out of my friends list. I love my anonymous new friends all over the world who don't judge or see me in real life scenarios.

You just have to use your best judgement. I would hope people would understand and not fault you for wanting to stay a bit hidden in the MFP world.

DizzieLittleLifter

Yes I do, but I think there is a common understanding that what happens on MFP stays on MFP.

molissep

i can understand your point, but i think it has to do with how comfortable you are with the friend. i just introduced someone to the site and i'm happy to have her here, but some others i know i would be uncomfortable having on the site and following what i'm doing.

killagb

beckipercy

I started on here with 5 of the people from my office. It was great for a while, but they all dropped off the wagon and stopped logging in. It was then that I started coming on the boards and making new friends. I did introduce one of my friends to it, but she only has me as a friend so literally uses it to log her food and very occasionally puts a comment on my weight loss. It doesn't bother me, but maybe would if I found out she had been discussing what I was up to with our other friends.

Kris0109

As a rule, no way, no how.

However, one of my IRL friends who I haven't seen in far too long found me by my picture. And I kind of love her for finding me just by my freaking eye. She's a very non-judgy friend in all aspects and one of the few I think I would allow. (<3 Amb!)

dezi718

I have several real life friends on here and wouldn't change that. In my opinion, we all joined the site for the same reason...to lose weight. If they know me, they already knwo I need to lose it and vice versa, so now we can support each other on MFP and in the real world. It helps me with accountability. But of course, every one has their own feelings on the subject.

slainger

its funny (not funny "ha ha", but funny interesting!) to read how many people don't want their "real" friends on MFP. I actually prefer to know my friends, and have added very few strangers to my friends list. I guess I'm not too worried about the privacy issue. I mean all my real live friends have seen my success, considering I've lost 90 pounds! Its pretty obvious! I find comments made by my real friends mean a lot more to me, because I know they mean it and aren't giving me lip service. If you feel that the person you know may not be supportive, then don't add them.

SweetProgression

Well if they're dedicated an involved I wouldn't mind. If they were putting up a front "acting on here like they were pushing toward their goal but in real life they're doing and eating whatever" I'd not add and if they asked why I'd be honest. I would love to have my current friends as real life friends but people seem pretty standoffish even the ones who may live close. I guess it's for the same reason, they appreciate their anonymity. I wouldn't want family members or coworkers on here if we never talk much anyway so I hate when they try to add me on ANYTHING. In the end it depends on how good of a friend the person is and their dedication.

AlSalzman

I pretty much use MFP to bag on people I hate and to generally talk smack, so that really wouldn't work for me.

I actually could give a damn about losing weight... I needed somewhere to rant and I'm too lazy to start a Facebook page.




Just kidding. I care about losing weight.




OK, not really. But I was kidding about not having a Facebook page. But I only use that to stalk chicks from high school.

amandasowards

All of my friends on MFP are real friends or family except for 1 and I find that it is so encouraging to have them on here. They give me the motivation I need to keep going! We are constantly cheering each other on and giving each other different ideas for recipes and workout routines. Its awesome! We are all focusing on the same goals and it just works for us!

kim_mc

I have 2 people on here that I know in "real life" and I love it! Holds me more accountable and I can have something else to talk with them about, something we are going through together and have in common:) They are great support people!