Were you ever bullied in school for being overweight? How di

PhatAndy

Im curious to see how many out there share my same story,

Were you overweight in Elementary school? High school? Were you the target for bullying? How did you overcome it and how does it affect your life today?

For me it was Bulling grade 2-12 and until i was about 21 or so. the height of it being in grade 9, cornered in the boys lockerroom and surrounded by 6 guys with basketballs. "We are about to do this to you because you are fat, you are ugly, you will never get a girlfriend, and you should kill yourself" They then proceeded to throw basketballs at my head until i bled out of my ears..


I know it got bad, but I kind of thank God for my crappy life. because its the things in life that form you into who you are today.

Most people who got bullied (Or at least the ones I know) turn out to be Sweet Compassionate Loving Sensitive people.

So my question is, Have you ever been bullied and how have you overcome?

Kim_08

I did not get bullied, but your story makes me so angry :mad: I don't see how kids can be so mean! I'm sorry this happened to you.

PNWriter

I am so sorry for you. Experiences like that etch themselves on your soul. I was bullied in middle school for being overweight. And, looking back on it, I really wasn't. Just held onto my baby fat but was in no way fat at all. I remember walking down the hall in a new sweater I had just gotten that had a blue whale on it and a boy called me "whale" all that day. It stuck to me for...well, it still bothers me. I never had a date to a dance all through high school. My mom had me go on weight watchers when I was 15 years old and weighed 175 pounds. I lost 50 over the summer and got reallly thin. To make it worse, my grandma paid me $1/pound for every one I lost. Sidways bullying if you ask me. Then when I yo-yo'd again in college, my mom made me go on a liquid diet (Optifast) and I lost 75 pounds in three months. Passive aggressive bullying is horrible. But the self-bullying I still do to myself is the worst. I'm trying to get over that, but it's tough.

becoming_a_new_me

OMGosh!! What a horrible group of boys! I was verbally abused from about 1st grade until I moved from the dinky town in Iowa that I grew up in to a much larger town in Idaho. I went from living in a town with only about 1000 people to a town where the high school alone had about 1000 students!

The one moment that sticks out the most in my head is when I was 14. I did what all good Iowa teenagers do for money in the summer, and went to work in the corn fields. The most mortifying moment in my life was when we were told to check rows, and I was one of the last ones back from the other side of the field. When I was most of the way back to the bus that took us from field-to-field, one of the guys was standing on top of it yelling at the top of his lungs, “Suey! Pig, pig pig!” and all the kids in the bus were laughing. I went home and bawled all night.

PhatAndy

That seem's really rough, PN. You do have some bullies in your family it sounds like, and thats a bit harder to get away from than just some immature kids in highschool. but you are here and taking the right steps!

kewwy1

That's disgusting and I'm really sorry that happened to you...

I got bullied too throughout the years, but then I hit back against them and stopped caring and they stopped..

I do think though, that sort of stuff makes you stronger

Churble

Absolutely I was. It started round 7th grade for me and actually got so bad that my parents had me in therapy to deal with it because they genuinely thought I would kill myself.

It didn't help that my last name was the same as a VERY famous pig. That just made it too easy.

PNWriter

Thanks, Andy

SandraBro03

I was bullied from grade school until high school. There were some girls that called me Sandy Kofat and other names. As far as overcoming it, I started playing softball. I wasn't very good but one of the girls from my team took me under her wing and taught me how to play. I got more focused on softball so I didn't worry too much about what people thought of me. I ended up losing weight but I didn't do it in a healthy way, so I eventually gained it all back and then some. Being bullied has made me more compassionate. I also have a heart for the underdogs and feel it my personal responsibility to stand up for anyone being bullied. I'm very blessed to be married to a man who loves me no matter how much I weigh.

God bless you!!

PhatAndy

OMGosh!! What a horrible group of boys! I was verbally abused from about 1st grade until I moved from the dinky town in Iowa that I grew up in to a much larger town in Idaho. I went from living in a town with only about 1000 people to a town where the high school alone had about 1000 students!

The one moment that sticks out the most in my head is when I was 14. I did what all good Iowa teenagers do for money in the summer, and went to work in the corn fields. The most mortifying moment in my life was when we were told to check rows, and I was one of the last ones back from the other side of the field. When I was most of the way back to the bus that took us from field-to-field, one of the guys was standing on top of it yelling at the top of his lungs, “Suey! Pig, pig pig!” and all the kids in the bus were laughing. I went home and bawled all night.

Did this motivate you at all? was your personality affected? you seem to be doing an AMAZING job on the weight loss I just can not believe your picture its amazing!

PNWriter

OMGosh!! What a horrible group of boys! I was verbally abused from about 1st grade until I moved from the dinky town in Iowa that I grew up in to a much larger town in Idaho. I went from living in a town with only about 1000 people to a town where the high school alone had about 1000 students!

The one moment that sticks out the most in my head is when I was 14. I did what all good Iowa teenagers do for money in the summer, and went to work in the corn fields. The most mortifying moment in my life was when we were told to check rows, and I was one of the last ones back from the other side of the field. When I was most of the way back to the bus that took us from field-to-field, one of the guys was standing on top of it yelling at the top of his lungs, “Suey! Pig, pig pig!” and all the kids in the bus were laughing. I went home and bawled all night.

I want to wring their necks. I'm so sorry. That's awful.

PhatAndy

I was bullied from grade school until high school. There were some girls that called me Sandy Kofat and other names. As far as overcoming it, I started playing softball. I wasn't very good but one of the girls from my team took me under her wing and taught me how to play. I got more focused on softball so I didn't worry too much about what people thought of me. I ended up losing weight but I didn't do it in a healthy way, so I eventually gained it all back and then some. Being bullied has made me more compassionate. I also have a heart for the underdogs and feel it my personal responsibility to stand up for anyone being bullied. I'm very blessed to be married to a man who loves me no matter how much I weigh.

God bless you!!

It sounds like you have an Amazing husband! one who truely sees you for who you are. and I have to agree, I am extremely compassionate. and i feel its because of the bullying, because of being teased i could never tease another but instead help those who are being teased.

bikermike5094

I was "husky" in high school and when I was a freshman I had a senior try to give me crap about it. Bad move... I bounced him off a couple of lockers and he got a nice shiner from the deal. I got a 3 day suspension but I never got any crap again for the rest of my hs days.

cjpg

I used to get bullied at home by my older brother a lot for being overweight. Not one week in my childhood can I remember not being harassed. He would humiliate me and make me feel worthless by beating me up and telling me I should be able to defend myself. Yet instead of teaching me, he'd be someone I'd have to defend myself against.

In primary school, it was all emotional bullying - never physical. I wouldn't have a lot of friends and the ones I did have would play games like "let's run away from him!" and because I was overweight, I could never keep up. That kind of scars me to this day because at times I can't help but feel like I'm running towards friendships that I'll never get close to.

In high school, I was always pushed from one group of friends to another because I wasn't confident enough to make enough jokes and be as popular as others. I lost a lot of good friendships this way. The lack of confidence was a result of me feeling inadequate due to being overweight.

I've gained a lot of weight since being a kid, but finally... I'm losing it! I'm halfway and... all of that stuff in the past that used to control me now is nothing but a memory that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The experiences hardened me into a very sensitive person who is a fierce friend to those I am close to. So I thank every single experience in my past for the person I've become.

I once heard a saying that "Only though hardship can true humility be attained. It's this knowledge that enriches life".

People don't understand the value of a smile or a pat on the back until they truly understand what its like to be deprived from it.

Oh yeah, and another one - "Even in the darkest storms, the sun is still shining behind them waiting for the time to shine".

PhatAndy

Im glad that worked out for you! haha. As for me, im 6"8 420 pounds and could never hurt a fly, the thought of violence just makes me ill. Its all because of the bullying.. In a sick and twisted way I thank God for it because It made me a stronger person and it made me who I am today.

@ Bikermike

Osu2k1

Oh yeah, I was bullied. Girls are MEAN! I was bullied from about grade 2 through 10.
In grade school I was called "State Puff Marshmallow Girl"-it was early 80's, thank you Ghostbusters. I was teased about being fat. Girls ignored me, boys teased. I ended up friends with mostly boys, and was more of a tom boy. I loved sports, but was always picked last. I didn't care, I just wanted to play baseball/basketball, etc.

In Jr. High, I was hanging with what would be considered the "stoner group" since my best friends were into that group (girls by now). Eventually I pissed one off so much, she had another girl (older) beat me up while waiting for my parents to pick me up. I was so scared to go to school, my parents weren't able to get help from the school. They ignored her complaints and worries. They started to pick me up from a different part of school. I began doing track in the 8th grade. Throwing shot put and discus. It helped. I had sport minded friends.

In High school, I dived into school, trying to find my niche and found track was it. I was awarded a Varsity letter my freshman year. The only thing I could think of while I walked up to the podium was, "this is for all the F---ing people who said fat people couldn't do whatever" I was so proud! I continued with it, lettering my sophomore year as well. Junior year came and first day of practice I blew my knee. :explode: I do remember being in the weight room, when I was a freshman. I was doing the bench press and I wanted to see how heavy I could go. My coach slapped on 150 lb and I put it up 2 times. I remember looking around and all the guys were drop jawed! I felt great!

After getting that letterman's jacket, I didn't let anyone bother me by being called fat. I proved I was able to do anything (well I avoided running at all costs still). I still think about those *kitten* hats that teased me and made me feel awful, and THAT is what powers me now. And yes, I hold grudges, for a very Looooooonnnnnnnng time.

Churble

It's weird to me that I'm realizing now how much I never really counted the bullying by my family. It was just part of day to day life. My sister was a tiny, cute gymnast, so I never defended myself when she made fun of me for being overweight because I felt like she was right.

My mom put on weight watchers for the first time when I was 12. She told our extended family that I was dieting and would make me call my grandmother and tell her if I gained weight.

Of course that counts, it's just weird that I kind of accepted it because they were family.

PhatAndy

I used to get bullied at home by my older brother a lot for being overweight. Not one week in my childhood can I remember not being harassed. He would humiliate me and make me feel worthless by beating me up and telling me I should be able to defend myself. Yet instead of teaching me, he'd be someone I'd have to defend myself against.

In primary school, it was all emotional bullying - never physical. I wouldn't have a lot of friends and the ones I did have would play games like "let's run away from him!" and because I was overweight, I could never keep up. That kind of scars me to this day because at times I can't help but feel like I'm running towards friendships that I'll never get close to.

In high school, I was always pushed from one group of friends to another because I wasn't confident enough to make enough jokes and be as popular as others. I lost a lot of good friendships this way. The lack of confidence was a result of me feeling inadequate due to being overweight.

I've gained a lot of weight since being a kid, but finally... I'm losing it! I'm halfway and... all of that stuff in the past that used to control me now is nothing but a memory that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The experiences hardened me into a very sensitive person who is a fierce friend to those I am close to. So I thank every single experience in my past for the person I've become.

I once heard a saying that "Only though hardship can true humility be attained. It's this knowledge that enriches life".

People don't understand the value of a smile or a pat on the back until they truly understand what its like to be deprived from it.

Oh yeah, and another one - "Even in the darkest storms, the sun is still shining behind them waiting for the time to shine".

Thank you so much for sharing this. you dont know how much your life sounds like mine. I actually developed a mental illness that I am now on disability for called borderline personality disorder.. I fear conflict more than anything in life.. My worst habbit is preservation of friendships. When i fear a friendship is about to fail I will completely cut off contact with that person isolating myself from them and the world because if they cant tell me they have a problem with me and dont want to be friends then we can continue to be friends....

PNWriter

It's weird to me that I'm realizing now how much I never really counted the bullying by my family. It was just part of day to day life. My sister was a tiny, cute gymnast, so I never defended myself when she made fun of me for being overweight because I felt like she was right.

My mom put on weight watchers for the first time when I was 12. She told our extended family that I was dieting and would make me call my grandmother and tell her if I gained weight.

Of course that counts, it's just weird that I kind of accepted it because they were family.

Oh, it counts....read my previous post. Sounds like we were sisters!

PhatAndy

Oh yeah, I was bullied. Girls are MEAN! I was bullied from about grade 2 through 10.
In grade school I was called "State Puff Marshmallow Girl"-it was early 80's, thank you Ghostbusters. I was teased about being fat. Girls ignored me, boys teased. I ended up friends with mostly boys, and was more of a tom boy. I loved sports, but was always picked last. I didn't care, I just wanted to play baseball/basketball, etc.

In Jr. High, I was hanging with what would be considered the "stoner group" since my best friends were into that group (girls by now). Eventually I pissed one off so much, she had another girl (older) beat me up while waiting for my parents to pick me up. I was so scared to go to school, my parents weren't able to get help from the school. They ignored her complaints and worries. They started to pick me up from a different part of school. I began doing track in the 8th grade. Throwing shot put and discus. It helped. I had sport minded friends.

In High school, I dived into school, trying to find my niche and found track was it. I was awarded a Varsity letter my freshman year. The only thing I could think of while I walked up to the podium was, "this is for all the F---ing people who said fat people couldn't do whatever" I was so proud! I continued with it, lettering my sophomore year as well. Junior year came and first day of practice I blew my knee. :explode: I do remember being in the weight room, when I was a freshman. I was doing the bench press and I wanted to see how heavy I could go. My coach slapped on 150 lb and I put it up 2 times. I remember looking around and all the guys were drop jawed! I felt great!

After getting that letterman's jacket, I didn't let anyone bother me by being called fat. I proved I was able to do anything (well I avoided running at all costs still). I still think about those *kitten* hats that teased me and made me feel awful, and THAT is what powers me now. And yes, I hold grudges, for a very Looooooonnnnnnnng time.

Im so happy you were able to overcome, I love hearing triumphant success stories about bullying.

becoming_a_new_me

OMGosh!! What a horrible group of boys! I was verbally abused from about 1st grade until I moved from the dinky town in Iowa that I grew up in to a much larger town in Idaho. I went from living in a town with only about 1000 people to a town where the high school alone had about 1000 students!

The one moment that sticks out the most in my head is when I was 14. I did what all good Iowa teenagers do for money in the summer, and went to work in the corn fields. The most mortifying moment in my life was when we were told to check rows, and I was one of the last ones back from the other side of the field. When I was most of the way back to the bus that took us from field-to-field, one of the guys was standing on top of it yelling at the top of his lungs, “Suey! Pig, pig pig!” and all the kids in the bus were laughing. I went home and bawled all night.

Did this motivate you at all? was your personality affected? you seem to be doing an AMAZING job on the weight loss I just can not believe your picture its amazing!

Thank you :blushing:

I overcame by becoming a stronger person. I am more compassionate than I would have probably been had I not been picked on growing up. Because I didn't have many friends, I read a lot which made me really smart and I concentrated on my music. I got the last laugh when I was slected to tour Europe the summer after my senior year and got to spend a month touring and singing all over Europe and England.

I also have learned to stick up for myself and take small-minded people with a grain of salt.

PhatAndy

OMGosh!! What a horrible group of boys! I was verbally abused from about 1st grade until I moved from the dinky town in Iowa that I grew up in to a much larger town in Idaho. I went from living in a town with only about 1000 people to a town where the high school alone had about 1000 students!

The one moment that sticks out the most in my head is when I was 14. I did what all good Iowa teenagers do for money in the summer, and went to work in the corn fields. The most mortifying moment in my life was when we were told to check rows, and I was one of the last ones back from the other side of the field. When I was most of the way back to the bus that took us from field-to-field, one of the guys was standing on top of it yelling at the top of his lungs, “Suey! Pig, pig pig!” and all the kids in the bus were laughing. I went home and bawled all night.

Did this motivate you at all? was your personality affected? you seem to be doing an AMAZING job on the weight loss I just can not believe your picture its amazing!

Thank you :blushing:

I overcame by becoming a stronger person. I am more compassionate than I would have probably been had I not been picked on growing up. Because I didn't have many friends, I read a lot which made me really smart and I concentrated on my music. I got the last laugh when I was slected to tour Europe the summer after my senior year and got to spend a month touring and singing all over Europe and England.

I also have learned to stick up for myself and take small-minded people with a grain of salt.

Amazing! thank you for sharing this story. And yes, getting the last laugh is always pretty amazing =D

PNWriter

OMGosh!! What a horrible group of boys! I was verbally abused from about 1st grade until I moved from the dinky town in Iowa that I grew up in to a much larger town in Idaho. I went from living in a town with only about 1000 people to a town where the high school alone had about 1000 students!

The one moment that sticks out the most in my head is when I was 14. I did what all good Iowa teenagers do for money in the summer, and went to work in the corn fields. The most mortifying moment in my life was when we were told to check rows, and I was one of the last ones back from the other side of the field. When I was most of the way back to the bus that took us from field-to-field, one of the guys was standing on top of it yelling at the top of his lungs, “Suey! Pig, pig pig!” and all the kids in the bus were laughing. I went home and bawled all night.

Did this motivate you at all? was your personality affected? you seem to be doing an AMAZING job on the weight loss I just can not believe your picture its amazing!

Thank you :blushing:

I overcame by becoming a stronger person. I am more compassionate than I would have probably been had I not been picked on growing up. Because I didn't have many friends, I read a lot which made me really smart and I concentrated on my music. I got the last laugh when I was slected to tour Europe the summer after my senior year and got to spend a month touring and singing all over Europe and England.

I also have learned to stick up for myself and take small-minded people with a grain of salt.

Inspiring strength. Thank you for sharing

wilkin777

I was bullied at school and I have to say that, even though I am almost 30 years old, I still struggle with the effects of it. Your story was a very brave thing to post and I am sure not easy given the gravity of what was done to you. It is always hard to hear (or read) what people are capable of doing to each other and how much suffering they can cause. I dealt with my bullies by self harming so I guess they got what they wanted. I hated myself and it was because of them that I took it out on my own body. What a lot of people don't understand is that self harm comes in so many forms. I have cut and burned my body and I have over eaten. Sometimes to comfort and sometimes to punish. I used to think that eating a piece of cake would somehow "show them" until I realised that the only person who was being affected by it was me.
Depression has been a big part of my life and I am sure that the bullying was at least partly to blame.
There is an upside to all of this though...I am learning to love myself and to treat my body with the respect it deserves ( I have not self harmed in over 2 years now) and thanks to MFP I am also finding the support of others whether they have experiences like mine or not.
You are right though. Compassion, sensitivity and kindness are all things we have in common.

Churble

It's weird to me that I'm realizing now how much I never really counted the bullying by my family. It was just part of day to day life. My sister was a tiny, cute gymnast, so I never defended myself when she made fun of me for being overweight because I felt like she was right.

My mom put on weight watchers for the first time when I was 12. She told our extended family that I was dieting and would make me call my grandmother and tell her if I gained weight.

Of course that counts, it's just weird that I kind of accepted it because they were family.

Oh, it counts....read my previous post. Sounds like we were sisters!

Seriously.

It's just so weird the way that happens. Even now, at 31, my mom is watching me lose this weight and decided that she would diet too because "If you can lose this much, it should be a snap for me". I guess I just always looked at it as part of growing up in our house.

LiviLou2011

bullied in school for being fat..not that i remember, and not that i would care, i was silly and outgoing then..but as i got into my teens ( i was still thin) i wasnt thin enough for my mother or other family members and now that i look back, now that i am heavy i wonder why they said those things to me. for example.,i went out of town to live with my cousin and i came back and had lost alot of weight but they would say things like, oh dont worry you will gain it back soon, or you sit in the front seat of the car, i will fit in the back better then you will. My mom called me a whale...my grandfather said that ive i get any bigger im gonna blow up..and jezz now i am bigger and they say the same things. its not very nice, i think even when i get smaller they will still make comments like that, i think they were jealous and wanted me to be fat to feel better about themselves..of course that not why im fat and that not why im trying to lose weight i want to do it for myself so i can feel like me again. (ive lost nine pounds) its gonna be a long journey but its gonna be so worth it.

RunChinni

I feel your pain. I was an obese kid till the age of 18 and I did slip into bouts of depression. But I have a great set of parents and friends who stood by me through the tough times.

I remember most girls and boys in class being smaller than me. The girls would turn to me to help them out with school troubles, only because I was bigger than them. It didn't feel right then and it doesn't feel right now. I couldn't find clothes that would fit me. The concept of plus size clothing didnt exist in India back then. I would only wear black shirts and lose jeans. M wardrobe was very limited. So I would get teased for wearing pretty much the same clothes.
No one understood that it wasn't out of choice. Not even in college.

And where I come from, being called fat on your face is no big deal.

Until one day, when I couldn't handle it anymore. I decided to drop all that weight. My parents supported me. My parents, being doctors, monitored my weight loss very closely. And here I am toay, healthy and fit as a fiddle and I could give those who teased me a run for their money, literally.

I support people who are attempting to become healthy by just being for them and advising them when they need it. Because I lead no one to tel me that ( my parents tried, but we don't listen to them when we are kids) :-)

ahinescapron

Oh yeah, I was bullied all throughout school (not including the teasing and general humiliation I got from certain family members). It was very, very bad and I was suicidal a great deal of my adolescent years. I think it has made me more resilient and more empathetic. I ended up getting a counseling degree and working with troubled children and teens. Now, I am working on my PhD now and I am doing my dissertation on bullying in rural middle school students. My hope is to use my career to do more in-depth research and build more effective programs to combat bullying in schools (because the ones they have now don't work). So, I guess you could say I turned my experience into something positive.

PhatAndy

I was bullied at school and I have to say that, even though I am almost 30 years old, I still struggle with the effects of it. Your story was a very brave thing to post and I am sure not easy given the gravity of what was done to you. It is always hard to hear (or read) what people are capable of doing to each other and how much suffering they can cause. I dealt with my bullies by self harming so I guess they got what they wanted. I hated myself and it was because of them that I took it out on my own body. What a lot of people don't understand is that self harm comes in so many forms. I have cut and burned my body and I have over eaten. Sometimes to comfort and sometimes to punish. I used to think that eating a piece of cake would somehow "show them" until I realised that the only person who was being affected by it was me.
Depression has been a big part of my life and I am sure that the bullying was at least partly to blame.
There is an upside to all of this though...I am learning to love myself and to treat my body with the respect it deserves ( I have not self harmed in over 2 years now) and thanks to MFP I am also finding the support of others whether they have experiences like mine or not.
You are right though. Compassion, sensitivity and kindness are all things we have in common.

This is so beautifully bittersweet. I hear you about the depression, I tried to OD in january, I believe its all related. I was diagnosed with bordeline personality disorder and thrown on disability because of how much it affected me.. but theres a light at the end of the tunnel. there truely is.. and things do get better, it just takes time.

mestacy010

I'm sorry to hear about all your stories! People are disgusting, when I was younger I used to wear my sweatshirts all the time, they were comfy and i was dating someone outside of my school so it wasn't like I was trying to impress anyone, my dad would steal them and yell at me telling me that i need to lose weight instead of hiding myself behind a sweater, he always had something to say about my weight, so did my brother, I remember my brother saying I would never want to marry a girl if she was big like you, you know what's sad, is I was only maybe 180 and 5'6 so i wasn't huge, but they sure made me feel that way. Every day I have to remind myself that I'm a great person, I remember my dad saying " you have a great heart, but you sure are stupid. I mean what parents say that??

PhatAndy

bullied in school for being fat..not that i remember, and not that i would care, i was silly and outgoing then..but as i got into my teens ( i was still thin) i wasnt thin enough for my mother or other family members and now that i look back, now that i am heavy i wonder why they said those things to me. for example.,i went out of town to live with my cousin and i came back and had lost alot of weight but they would say things like, oh dont worry you will gain it back soon, or you sit in the front seat of the car, i will fit in the back better then you will. My mom called me a whale...my grandfather said that ive i get any bigger im gonna blow up..and jezz now i am bigger and they say the same things. its not very nice, i think even when i get smaller they will still make comments like that, i think they were jealous and wanted me to be fat to feel better about themselves..of course that not why im fat and that not why im trying to lose weight i want to do it for myself so i can feel like me again. (ive lost nine pounds) its gonna be a long journey but its gonna be so worth it.

It will totally be worth it and we are all here together on this journey, MFP is so supportive.