Were you ever bullied in school for being overweight? How di

heatherblose21

I unforunately was bullied in school especially junior high school. I weighed probably 200lbs in 6th grade and went up from there. We had 8 flights of stairs to climb in school and It would kill me I couldn't do it as fast as other kids and was almost always late for class so I'd have to leave a minute or two early to start up the stairs. People would call me a "cow" "hefer" and anything else. I just never listened to them. I wouldn't go home and cry I would go home and eat. It went on for 4 years until I got to high school were I was still overweight but my friends accepted me for me. People wouldn't make fun of me to my face but, you always get the stares from people. Once I got out of high school it started up again with guys and dating. I was always the girl with the pretty face and big butt. But, I wanted to be more than just a pretty face and have a big butt. It all really came into prospective for me when a guy who I was completely crazy about broke my heart by telling me "why would he date a girl that was bigger than him" and pretty much that I was too fat to be with him. That hurt so much because I thought he was the guy who saw me more then just overweight but I was wrong. I have found a man who loves me for me and that's my husband. He is in this weight loss journey with me. And, I want to say to any person who is bullied or has been hurt by their weight or thought they are just a number. You are not! You are more than the number shows on the scale. You don't have to be 100lbs to be happy. All that matters is you lose the weight for the right reasons and your happy with your life and healthy. Don't listen to the cruel disrespectful things people may say. It just shows you that they are unhappy with themselves so they try to hurt you.
LOVE YOURSELF!

carlie_carl

I despise bullies, I was overweight at school but wasnt bullied because of that due to been part of the rugby team (at my school that was the equivelant to been a jock in America if its like the movies lol) I was however emotionally bullied, people spread a horrible rumour about me witch made me an outcast from not only the rugby team but people in general, It made me weak to the point I broke, but having been Broken, Ive been put back together with a stronger glue,

I see those bullies occasionally, Ive forgiven the ones who were big enough to appoligise but the ones who were really devious and nasty I find are struggling in life, with people and themselfs, as a victim of bullying I can second the original posters statement that people who were bullied are usually sensative, pacient, genuinly nice people.

aftergypsies

I was bullied from 3rd grade til about 9th? Although, all through high school I had comments said to me here or there. In 9th grade when I got to high school I was so depressed about having been bullied + going through stuff unrelated at home that I just stopped reacting to it and ignored it and people eventually just stopped.

I know that I definitely try to be more vocal when I see people being bullied or if people make comments to me I will not retreat into myself and I tell them they are being jerks. I don't know if going through that kind of experience changed me into who I am - I guess partially so. I have amazing people in my life now so I couldn't care less about bullies these days. I feel so bad when I read stories about bullying (for anything really not just for people being fat). Unfortunately people are bullied for a lot of reasons.

PhatAndy

Yes, from grade four until grade 9 for being over weight, although I was bullied through grade 12 for various things from my height, to being different, you name it...

I gained a ton of weight between grades 4 - 7 and was the typical "no one likes you because you are fat, ugly etc etc etc" I was made fun of, pushed around, called names. The summer before grade 8, my mom and I lost weight using weight watchers. By the beginning of grade 9 I had lost almost 60 pounds went from 150ish to around 90 pounds (I am 4'10ish) I went from being picked on because I was fat to being picked on because I was obviously anorexic, I had mental issues, I was this that or the other thing. I wont get into specifics but it was horrible, I had very few friends, no self esteem, hated myself, cried all the time.

I actually think back to that and am kind of thankful for everything they did to me as crazy as that may seem. It has made me who I am today, I am a very kind compassionate person who never judges anyone by the way they look. I do still struggle with my self-esteem and not hating myself but that is partially because I have gained so much weight. I recently seen a few of my bullies while at a wedding and I was very shocked to see that all of the ones who picked on me the most about being fat are now fat themselves, which did give me a bit of satisfation knowing the karma bus hit them.

Gotta love Karma, And yeah I always feel weird saying I thank God for the bullying i recieved because It made me who I am today, but its true.

TinaDay1114

I was picked on all during middle school by this gang of girls in my neighborhood that I had been friends with all through elementary school. For some reason, one of the girls was the always the leader, deciding one day that I was OK to talk to, and the next day / week / month that I did not event exist. They'd ignore me, throw my stuff around the bus, and even crushed a piece of artwork I was very proud of when I was bringing it home for my mom.

I wasn't overweight -- but I was quiet, bookwormish, wore glasses and braces, and was an only child with no siblings. I was shy, and didn't like to fight, so I guess I was an easy target. Like many posters have said, girls can just be MEAN.

What hurt the most was that all of those girls had been my friends before, I trusted them. We had been to each others' houses, had sleepovers, talked...and I felt completely betrayed. I wondered what I had done to deserve it.

Luckily I always had good friends at school, and those same girls never bothered me there. There was also a boy in our neighborhood who was 5 or 6 years older than me who always quietly and stoically stood by me -- he was kind of quiet like me, and he let me know I was important, and worth talking to. I'll NEVER forget him.

Once I got to high school, this same "ringleader" bully changed -- she even tried to make it up to me, and told me she realized she had been cruel. I was polite to her, but I told her that, honestly, I just didn't trust her anymore after that, and wished her well.

When I hit puberty, my parents actually took over the bullying a little bit. They both used to say things like, "You're not going to wear THAT thing are you???" and "Your butt's lookin' kind of broad there, don'tcha think??" I think they were both really anxious about me growing into a woman and didn't wanna let me be independent.

I agree with CoryIda, too -- I look back at those experiences, and I can remember how painful it was. And I promised myself very early on to NEVER, EVER make someone feel like that for any reason. Not only to not every bully anyone, but to care for people in general, in any way I can.

And trust me, my two boys already know that they should respect themselves AND everyone around them, ALWAYS. Their school (a Montessori one) also teaches the kids respect, and teaches them how to talk to each other when there are issues, and to resolve them maturely. All the students mentor each other throughout the grade levels -- no one is seen as "less than" anyone else, because they've all been the youngest / newest / smallest / most inexperienced in the group at once time or another.

To PhatAndy -- you've been through a lot, and I applaud you for hanging in there, for getting healthy, and for working through everything. :flowerforyou:

I have a favorite quote hanging next to my bed that I try to remember -- "No one can bring you happiness but yourself." - Ralph Waldo Emerson. It helps me remember that no matter what someone says or does, I make my own happiness. Yep. That quote, and LOTS of therapy over the years. It really does help.

GNBC

all these stories make me want to take my kids to live on a deserted island - i never reflected on whether I was bullied or not b/c I always felt I was different anyways (we moved around and my parents are of different nationalities so I was never "from" where we lived) but in restrospect, I always looked out for the new kids in school and that was probably in reaction to what was said to me and wanting to make sure no one else would feel like an outsider. I also put a lot of emphasis in my house on the fact that everyone is different and it's something my kids bring up a lot (they are 5 and 8) so I guess that's also my way of dealing with what was said to me as a kid. I would be horrified to find out my kids made anyone feel bad - yesterday, my son explained to me how he stood up for his friend, "with no hands and no harsh words - Mom" so hopefully, we can all reflect on the stories here and think of what we can do to prevent them...yes, it's idealistic but if my kids don't bully anyone, and more importantly, stand up to those who bully around them then that's one less kid who will be made to feel bad.
Uuughhh, I'm envisioning a sleepless night of thinking through how to fix the world

PhatAndy

I'm so sorry that happened to you, nobody should go through it, but you're right. It does make a person stronger, or at least some people.

I was made fun of all through school, elementary to 9th grade. I was also very tall, the tallest girl through elementary school (also taller than the boys) and most of middle school, so I got to be the tall 'freak' too. Joy. It was mostly mean kids being mean to me, just rude comments. Middle school I had an arch enemy, he was no prize himself, but his locker was next to mine in an out of the way area and he'd tease me all morning at the lockers, he'd stick cards down the back of my shirt in math class, and it got to the point where we kicked and hit each other once because I was so angry. When I'd ride my bike around our complex during middle school years, high school guys would make fun of me every time I passed them. The worst was when they were throwing eggs and missed me, so I hid by another building. One thing that made a difference, their one friend came over to me and apologized for his friends stupid behavior. It was a tiny glimmer of hope that I clung to. By 9th grade I'd get teased by those same guys every morning when I walked to my first class, but then after a couple of months, miracle of miracles, their one silent friend reamed them out for doing that and I was left alone. A guy in my neighborhood was teasing me later that year when we got off the bus, but his friend finally told him to let it go, it'd been years, he needed to stop. The weird thing is that by my junior year of high school many of these people started being nice to me and even got to be friends.

A small part of me wants to stomp on their foot if they ever mention me getting thin/hot/fit when I reach my goal. I'm not so forgiving as to totally forget the past.

How has this affected you today? Have you changed as a person is your personality different? Depression anxiety?

PhatAndy

I have not suffered the extremes as many of the poor souls on here - more of the relentless jibes and jokes at my expense - from about the age of 7. It has taken years of reflection and a hugely supportive loving family, for me to come to following realisation: I wasn't really fat - just bigger than most of the others. But as a result of me accepting their jibes as being the truth, I have managed to convice myself for years that I "can't" be slim (i don't ever actually want to be thin) because I will always be fat. It has been this conditioning of my mind over years that has prevented me from thinking I would ever deserve to be slim and attractive.

However, I do think I owe a lot to those cruel children, teenagers and grown adults. I have an AMAZING sense of humour that can get me out of nearly every situation. I have a DAMN fine list of cutting (yet hysterically funny) comebacks to get my own back, and, most importantly, I will NEVER put anyone through the sheer hellish saddness and lonliness I sometimes felt - nor will my children, or my grandchildren as and when I have any - for as long as I live I will make sure that none of my family ever become bloated and ugly from within - as that is how I now see such people: They may have perfect BMI, they may outwardly have looks and a good figure - but to be beautiful and attractive, you have to have a beautiful soul and personality. Anyone who has ever bullied someone - for whatever reason fails on all counts and they can't get rid of it through diet or exercise - they will remain that way forever. So who are the real winners??

Hugs to all of you - it makes me so sad to read these stories - because in the main it means it came from children - and to be that irreparably damaged that young is very sad (and I mean the bullies)

SO what do I now think - well, from this site it is so clear to see how many people are finding out the truth - you deserve everything you want and more - you can do it, if that's what you want - and to all those hateful bullies - tell them to look in the mirror really hard - being that mean takes its toll on ones face - and invariably they have faces that resemble those of dog chewing on a wasp - twisted!!!!

Absolutely love your attitude, Keep it up!

PhatAndy

I unforunately was bullied in school especially junior high school. I weighed probably 200lbs in 6th grade and went up from there. We had 8 flights of stairs to climb in school and It would kill me I couldn't do it as fast as other kids and was almost always late for class so I'd have to leave a minute or two early to start up the stairs. People would call me a "cow" "hefer" and anything else. I just never listened to them. I wouldn't go home and cry I would go home and eat. It went on for 4 years until I got to high school were I was still overweight but my friends accepted me for me. People wouldn't make fun of me to my face but, you always get the stares from people. Once I got out of high school it started up again with guys and dating. I was always the girl with the pretty face and big butt. But, I wanted to be more than just a pretty face and have a big butt. It all really came into prospective for me when a guy who I was completely crazy about broke my heart by telling me "why would he date a girl that was bigger than him" and pretty much that I was too fat to be with him. That hurt so much because I thought he was the guy who saw me more then just overweight but I was wrong. I have found a man who loves me for me and that's my husband. He is in this weight loss journey with me. And, I want to say to any person who is bullied or has been hurt by their weight or thought they are just a number. You are not! You are more than the number shows on the scale. You don't have to be 100lbs to be happy. All that matters is you lose the weight for the right reasons and your happy with your life and healthy. Don't listen to the cruel disrespectful things people may say. It just shows you that they are unhappy with themselves so they try to hurt you.
LOVE YOURSELF!

Thank you for your inspirational story And im sorry for the pain you went through in HS

PhatAndy

I despise bullies, I was overweight at school but wasnt bullied because of that due to been part of the rugby team (at my school that was the equivelant to been a jock in America if its like the movies lol) I was however emotionally bullied, people spread a horrible rumour about me witch made me an outcast from not only the rugby team but people in general, It made me weak to the point I broke, but having been Broken, Ive been put back together with a stronger glue,

I see those bullies occasionally, Ive forgiven the ones who were big enough to appoligise but the ones who were really devious and nasty I find are struggling in life, with people and themselfs, as a victim of bullying I can second the original posters statement that people who were bullied are usually sensative, pacient, genuinly nice people.

Glad to hear how its affected you. Thank you for your story

PhatAndy

I was bullied from 3rd grade til about 9th? Although, all through high school I had comments said to me here or there. In 9th grade when I got to high school I was so depressed about having been bullied + going through stuff unrelated at home that I just stopped reacting to it and ignored it and people eventually just stopped.

I know that I definitely try to be more vocal when I see people being bullied or if people make comments to me I will not retreat into myself and I tell them they are being jerks. I don't know if going through that kind of experience changed me into who I am - I guess partially so. I have amazing people in my life now so I couldn't care less about bullies these days. I feel so bad when I read stories about bullying (for anything really not just for people being fat). Unfortunately people are bullied for a lot of reasons.

you sound like a compassionate caring woman, exactly as i would have suspected. good on you, keep up the amazing work.

scunningham2012

I have been chubby since I remember. But the memory that will always haunt me the most is when I was in 3rd grade and I got this green plaid dress, that I adored, and I wore it to school for picture day. While on the bus to go home a 5th grader looked at me and asked if I was pregnant. To this day I remember my heart dropping and me quietly saying, "no." I also remember going home and crying. I was never really bullied but I was teased, a lot, until about eleventh grade. It all kind of stopped in eleventh grade and I've been happy to this day.

I look back and I actually thank my stars I was teased. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have become the fun loving person. I also now see that I have a lot of friends that actually care about me and didn't just hang out with me because I was popular. They hung out with me because they wanted to. Also, I have become a much stronger person and my life is going well. Everyone that teased me that I've seen on a friends Facebook are having a horrible life. This is one reason why Karma is my friend.

PhatAndy

I was picked on all during middle school by this gang of girls in my neighborhood that I had been friends with all through elementary school. For some reason, one of the girls was the always the leader, deciding one day that I was OK to talk to, and the next day / week / month that I did not event exist. They'd ignore me, throw my stuff around the bus, and even crushed a piece of artwork I was very proud of when I was bringing it home for my mom.

I wasn't overweight -- but I was quiet, bookwormish, wore glasses and braces, and was an only child with no siblings. I was shy, and didn't like to fight, so I guess I was an easy target. Like many posters have said, girls can just be MEAN.

What hurt the most was that all of those girls had been my friends before, I trusted them. We had been to each others' houses, had sleepovers, talked...and I felt completely betrayed. I wondered what I had done to deserve it.

Luckily I always had good friends at school, and those same girls never bothered me there. There was also a boy in our neighborhood who was 5 or 6 years older than me who always quietly and stoically stood by me -- he was kind of quiet like me, and he let me know I was important, and worth talking to. I'll NEVER forget him.

Once I got to high school, this same "ringleader" bully changed -- she even tried to make it up to me, and told me she realized she had been cruel. I was polite to her, but I told her that, honestly, I just didn't trust her anymore after that, and wished her well.

When I hit puberty, my parents actually took over the bullying a little bit. They both used to say things like, "You're not going to wear THAT thing are you???" and "Your butt's lookin' kind of broad there, don'tcha think??" I think they were both really anxious about me growing into a woman and didn't wanna let me be independent.

I agree with CoryIda, too -- I look back at those experiences, and I can remember how painful it was. And I promised myself very early on to NEVER, EVER make someone feel like that for any reason. Not only to not every bully anyone, but to care for people in general, in any way I can.

And trust me, my two boys already know that they should respect themselves AND everyone around them, ALWAYS. Their school (a Montessori one) also teaches the kids respect, and teaches them how to talk to each other when there are issues, and to resolve them maturely. All the students mentor each other throughout the grade levels -- no one is seen as "less than" anyone else, because they've all been the youngest / newest / smallest / most inexperienced in the group at once time or another.

To PhatAndy -- you've been through a lot, and I applaud you for hanging in there, for getting healthy, and for working through everything. :flowerforyou:

I have a favorite quote hanging next to my bed that I try to remember -- "No one can bring you happiness but yourself." - Ralph Waldo Emerson. It helps me remember that no matter what someone says or does, I make my own happiness. Yep. That quote, and LOTS of therapy over the years. It really does help.

you would make an amazing mother, thank you so much for your inspirational story. I love reading these.

PhatAndy

all these stories make me want to take my kids to live on a deserted island - i never reflected on whether I was bullied or not b/c I always felt I was different anyways (we moved around and my parents are of different nationalities so I was never "from" where we lived) but in restrospect, I always looked out for the new kids in school and that was probably in reaction to what was said to me and wanting to make sure no one else would feel like an outsider. I also put a lot of emphasis in my house on the fact that everyone is different and it's something my kids bring up a lot (they are 5 and 8) so I guess that's also my way of dealing with what was said to me as a kid. I would be horrified to find out my kids made anyone feel bad - yesterday, my son explained to me how he stood up for his friend, "with no hands and no harsh words - Mom" so hopefully, we can all reflect on the stories here and think of what we can do to prevent them...yes, it's idealistic but if my kids don't bully anyone, and more importantly, stand up to those who bully around them then that's one less kid who will be made to feel bad.
Uuughhh, I'm envisioning a sleepless night of thinking through how to fix the world

Haha, Love your enthusiasm!

speedycakes

That is awful. I was bullied too, elementary-high school. It stopped around 10th grade when i lost 40 pounds. In elementary I would try to play with others but no one wanted to be seen with me because i was "fat and ugly" I was also very poor so my clothes were always to small and had holes and stains.

In middle school guys would dare each other to "date" me then break up with me the next day.. "never mind, I don't like you anymore. You to fat." *typically there friends would be laughing at me somewhere near by* I got pushed down the stairs 3X in middle school because it was funny to watch the fat girl jiggle down the stairs. I was pushed over and walked on by a group of skinny mean chicks.

In high school it wasn't as bad. I was simply invisible by that time. Every time a guy asked me out I would get so angry because i thought they were just trying to hurt me again. I dated 2 guys but i dumped them because i couldn't trust them. (my mom was a feminist, so we were raised with a hatred toward men. That with my past experience proved nothing but true.) Anyway after 9th grade i became bulimic. I tried to starve my self, took laxatives, diet pills and vomited. I did this for 2 years then stopped the pills and laxatives. I'm still to this day trying to stop bulimia. I tried exercising more and eating less (healthy but less) lost some but i some how always get sucked back into the binge purge cycle.

It's sad after I lost 40 pounds suddenly people were my friend and talked to me. I was the same person just less of me. Everyone was so much nicer.

I'm 21 and married now. I still feel life would be better if i were only a little thinner. I'm trying so hard to focus on health not looks. It's hard to switch your focus after years of mental torment.

davidlbass

I wasn't bullied for being too fat, but for being too skinny. I graduated high school at 6 foot tall and 110 lbs. It did motivate me to start working out and I bulked up to 185 and about 10% body fat while in the Navy. Stayed around there until I turned 30 then slowly started putting on the weight. Dieted a few times and lost some of it only to put it back on plus some. Most people here have been there. Got up to 245 lbs. I am now back down to to 180 lbs and can put on my old Navy uniform. FYI, I got out of the Navy in 1985 at the age of 26.

The strange thing is, up until a few months ago, in my head, I was always that skinny little kid who was never big enough to really compete in sports except running. It really didn't dawn on me my size until a few comments by friends. One comment was, a friend said he wouldn't want to tangle with me because I was such a big guy. Another one, a friend was asking people their opinions when he turned to me and said "You're a big, macho guy, what do you think?" It just never really dawned on me till those two comments. That night I took a serious, hard look in the mirror and realized I was a 'big' guy. That is one of the motivators to get me to start loosing the weight.

By the way, I have one daughter who just graduated from high school and another who is a junior this year. High school is a horrible, mean, cruel place. I can never understand how high school could be the best time in anybody's life unless they were at the top of the food chain.

sofaking6

I was bullied/made fun of for several reasons:

Elementary school was mostly because I was too ugly, I couldn't afford nice clothes (got lots from thrift shops)
Middle school was mostly because I was still too ugly, had bad acne AND started being overweight
High School was mostly because I was still too ugly and was overweight

In fact, I am still criticized from a girl I went to High School with (I find out from mutual friends since she blocked me on Facebook) and she says that Im a whale, I don't deserve to have my kids, I only had kids for the paycheck (My son is special needs and on SSI) oh and the kicker, that my husband needs to have a paper bag over my head to have sex with me.... Um..... Yeah.....

See about getting a restraining order...a person has to be mentally disturbed to be obsessed with another adult to that extreme!

PhatAndy

That is awful. I was bullied too, elementary-high school. It stopped around 10th grade when i lost 40 pounds. In elementary I would try to play with others but no one wanted to be seen with me because i was "fat and ugly" I was also very poor so my clothes were always to small and had holes and stains.

In middle school guys would dare each other to "date" me then break up with me the next day.. "never mind, I don't like you anymore. You to fat." *typically there friends would be laughing at me somewhere near by* I got pushed down the stairs 3X in middle school because it was funny to watch the fat girl jiggle down the stairs. I was pushed over and walked on by a group of skinny mean chicks.

In high school it wasn't as bad. I was simply invisible by that time. Every time a guy asked me out I would get so angry because i thought they were just trying to hurt me again. I dated 2 guys but i dumped them because i couldn't trust them. (my mom was a feminist, so we were raised with a hatred toward men. That with my past experience proved nothing but true.) Anyway after 9th grade i became bulimic. I tried to starve my self, took laxatives, diet pills and vomited. I did this for 2 years then stopped the pills and laxatives. I'm still to this day trying to stop bulimia. I tried exercising more and eating less (healthy but less) lost some but i some how always get sucked back into the binge purge cycle.

It's sad after I lost 40 pounds suddenly people were my friend and talked to me. I was the same person just less of me. Everyone was so much nicer.

I'm 21 and married now. I still feel life would be better if i were only a little thinner. I'm trying so hard to focus on health not looks. It's hard to switch your focus after years of mental torment.

That is awful! And sadly that is just society, if you arent fat, your accepted.

Nettabee

I was the tallest girl (sometimes kids in general) in school. My weight finally started packing on in 4th grade. I was probably snacking and eating horribly, but at the time I was kid and didn't understand the whats and whys.....Let me just say, kids are truly cruel. From 4th grade onward, I was teased, mocked, called and pointed out, and laughed at. I think it all became too much during 6-12th grade. I went to the same school all 7 years, and the same kids gave me hell. I never got asked to prom or any other dance by any og the guys at my school, so for my senior year when I met a guy who took interest, I asked him. I was SO glad he said yes lol. I got to the point where I was just downright depressed in college. After one semester I dropped out and went back home. Too this day guys still don't approach me, (unless their minds are in the gutter!) but i'm just fine with waiting for that right one who looks at more that how many rolls I have!

The upside to all this though, is that it (in my opinion) has made me a compassionate, sweeter person. I thank God for my rough years growing up, because it has tought me so many lessons about how people can be "beautiful" on the outside, but so ugly inside! I have also been able to reach out and actually UNDERSTAND young girls going through the same things I use to.

PhatAndy

Amen Sister!