Losing weight and dealing with some of the compliments

raven56706

You know... this weight loss is bitter sweet... i mean we lose weight and love the compliments but its these compliments that are troubling "my god where is your other half," or "you look great" or "oh my god you look so good"... i mean i know being big isnt the best but hell what the hell was i before... a freaking monster...

I mean i know that i wasnt healthy and whatever but then its like jesus was i just this big disgusting animal. And a bigger blimp than those on the freaking Biggest loser show... i mean i wasnt but holy crap sometimes that brings me down to the fact that life before this was a complete lie...

Last night thats what happened... went to see old co workers and those are the comments i got... i as i said... it was great to see the work i have been doing has paid off but holy crap...

i dont know ... what do you think?

gtwin

I'm the same way. I've gotten, "wow, you've lost A LOT of weight" or "you look so much better"......I'd rather not get the compliments and for them to keep their comments to themselves. Those kinds of comments make me feel worse, instead of motivating me. I was like you.....I thought to myself, Wow....I must've looked huge before.

kspoon5

I for one feel the exact opposite - I love for someone to say Wow you look really good - it is just a boost to my confidence because face it if we thought we were all that before we wouldn't have started this journey ..... waiting on my Wow moment!
Everyone is different though and so just try not to take it that way and take pride in what you have accomplished !!

carrollel

"I for one feel the exact opposite - I love for someone to say Wow you look really good - it is just a boost to my confidence because face it if we thought we were all that before we wouldn't have started this journey ..... waiting on my Wow moment!
Everyone is different though and so just try not to take it that way and take pride in what you have accomplished !!"

I love that response! For the most part, I know when people make those comments they arent meant to imply anything negative about pre-weight loss you, they just simply are meant to congratulate a noticable goal accomplishment. Even the rude comments which you may feel are out of line, you should "take pride", as noted previously, and not let ANYONE get you down! Easier sad than done, but as you know with exercise & diet you get healthy physical results, so now that you got the "physical" down, dont forget the "emotional & spiritual". Negativity generates more negativity, its up to you to stop the cycle. you got this!

congrats on your journey.

demningoreilly

I especially hate the comment regarding "your face looks so much smaller". I must have had one honkin big fat moon of a face 70 lbs. ago.

mamasasa

When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels

A compliment is just that. Don't let "stinking thinking" in and focus on how healthy you are. Focus on the now! And keep up the awesome work!

sandywack

First of all congrats to you on your loss. I totally know how you feel........sometimes you feel like you get the back handed compliment. We have all been there. I would say just take in all the positive compliments and stay focused your goals.

lmbame905

What I don't like, is when (fat) people tell me, "Are you crazy? You don't need to lose any more weight!" Is that a compliment, or do you jsut want me to stay big so you can feel better about yourself?

I do love it when people say nice things. I haven't gotten any rude comments, YET!

mslack01

"I for one feel the exact opposite - I love for someone to say Wow you look really good - it is just a boost to my confidence because face it if we thought we were all that before we wouldn't have started this journey ..... waiting on my Wow moment!
Everyone is different though and so just try not to take it that way and take pride in what you have accomplished !!"

I love that response! For the most part, I know when people make those comments they arent meant to imply anything negative about pre-weight loss you, they just simply are meant to congratulate a noticable goal accomplishment. Even the rude comments which you may feel are out of line, you should "take pride", as noted previously, and not let ANYONE get you down! Easier sad than done, but as you know with exercise & diet you get healthy physical results, so now that you got the "physical" down, dont forget the "emotional & spiritual". Negativity generates more negativity, its up to you to stop the cycle. you got this!

congrats on your journey.

I agree with both of these posters. It is way too easy to get down on yourself so try to remember that these people meant these things in a kind way and to be encouraging but sometimes things don't come out the way people mean them.

QueenJayJay

I'm confused. Are you complaining that people are complimenting you? :huh:

cassidygrooms

I've gotten "your arms look so much smaller!" I didm't think my arms were that bad lol

Thena81

yes to each is own but i dont get how ppl get offended over these things
you lost weight cause u knew that you needed to! dont be angry cause someone noticed your hard work! LOSING IS DAMN HARD, BE PROUD! if you thought u looked fab, you wouldnt have lost the weight! u knew there were issues and u took care of them, stop the bitter and be sweet! be happy and say thank you!!!

coe28

Okay, please don't take my post the wrong way because those are typically the compliments I would give someone who's lost weight..."Wow, you look great!", or "You've lost weight, great job!" I guess I think that if someone has been trying so hard to lose weight, they would appreciate people noticing and complimenting them.

So my question is.... What kind of compliments DO you want then if you don't like people telling you that you look good?? Would you rather have no one say anything at all?

onedayillbamilf

I wouldn't find those compliments offensive. When you compliment someone on their success are you really saying "I'm glad you don't look like a monster anymore."? Didn't think so. Compliments like that, when I say them anyways, are said out of proudness because I know that even just losing 5lbs is hard so significant amounts are definitely worth celebrating. And also because they look healthier and happier and that makes me happy.

rockrosie

I especially hate the comment regarding "your face looks so much smaller". I must have had one honkin big fat moon of a face 70 lbs. ago.

I love this compliment, because I did have a fat moon face when I started. (2 years, 40+ lbs ago)

coe28

I'm confused. Are you complaining that people are complimenting you? :huh:

^^^this!!

michellereneejenkins

i have had anxiety over what to say when those compliments start coming to the point that i let it hold me back from starting. like it's almost embarrassing to admit that i needed to lose weight.

karhaz123

My worst compliment was "You have such a pretty face, your husband won't be able to keep his hands off of you when you lose the weight!" Wow...

Jipples

No offense, but seriously.....why not just enjoy the compliments and the fact that you're looking better. While I see where you're coming from, I'd focus on enjoying the ride rather than over analyze things that really don't matter.

H_Factor

Reality is...I WAS FAT. One reason I didn't start my journey sooner than Jan. 2011 is because it took me a LONG TIME to realize that I wasn't meaty, chubby or just plain overweight...I WAS FAT. I don't have a problem reminding myself that I WAS FAT because it helps me stay on course on this journey. I like to remember the things I hated about BEING FAT so I don't ever return to that wasteland.

My issue with complements is that they can lead to complacency. You ever hear about the sports prospect who read too many of his own press clippings about how great he was, before he ever proved anything...and then he never became much? That can work with weight loss and complements. I keep reminding myself that I'm on a journey to achieve great health and I don't care if someone else thinks I've gone far enough.

Josie_lifting_cats

Someone at my office just said something to me the other day, and I nearly started crying. She said "You've lost SO MUCH WEIGHT in the last couple months!"

It was FANTASTIC to hear, because while I know my measurements have changed, I haven't lost a pound.... and for someone to point it out meant SO MUCH to me.

So honestly I hope this thread doesn't keep people from pointing it out, because sometimes we need someone to point it out to motivate us to keep going.

flouncytrouncy

People are stupid. You can't fix stupid. Whenever anyone says something stupid to you, whether they mean it as a compliment or not, just smile sunnily and say Thank You! and sail off. Confuses the heck out of them.

Living well is the best revenge.

Krissie_Triaxis

It's something I call negative positivity. Those people are being genuine in complimenting you that you look great, because they didn't think you needed to change and now suddenly they see that you are more confident and happier in yourself and it shows in abundance - it's a shock for them just as much as it for us.

But what they don't realise is how we take the compliment, and to be honest why should they? We all do it. Somone says to me 'wow you look amazing, I can't believe how much weight you've lost' my immediate thought is - did you think I weighed the size of a small elephant? And no they didn't they are just stating a fact based on their own perception me and how Iused to look and they think they are being complmentary. And they are. It's because we have such a hang up about how we used to look that we want the 'oh you look amazing' but we hang a negative off the back of it because for years we've hidden behind layer of self doubt, loathing and fat.

When someone says to you, 'You look amazing, great, so alive' etc.... smile, say Thank you and mean it. And then hold your head up high that they've recognised your hard work.... they're not saying it to make you think what you looked like before, they're saying it because it's true. You DO look amazing.

LizW1388

My biggest thing with this, and it isn't just with weight, is this: Just pause, smile, and say Thank You. Whether it's a compliment on my hair, or saying my weight loss is showing, or even a simple 'you look pretty' - I'm so self conscious that I have the hardest time accepting compliments.

lina1131

I feel the exact opposite as you. I get really happy that they noticed my hard work.

barberella

I agree..Just take it in stride and keep going...for you.. forget their comments that make you feel lousy...I had a friend that when he lost a lot of weight, people were asking me if he was sick...They were just not used to seeing him thin and in shape. But now they are and those people are going to see you as the new you too!!

honeysprinkles

I haven't been in your position as I haven't lost much yet, but I think you should remind yourself that these people have good intentions. They are trying to make you feel good about your accomplishments, not bad about how you used to look. I bet it never even crossed anyone's mind that you might take their comments negatively. Not only that, but losing weight is hard and most people try to lose weight at least some time in their lives, so I'm sure they are complimenting you for being so successful and not just necessarily only because you look better or because you looked bad before. :flowerforyou:

lisaidem

I think something to think about is what your intentions are when YOU congratulate someone on their loss, either in person or on the Success Boards. I know that I might tend to feel the same way that you do, but then I think, "When I say someone looks great, or that they have lost so much weight, I'm NOT thinking what a huge cow they were before." And especially with co-workers or family members that know you, we all get used to seeing someone at a certain weight--not as good or bad, but that's just how that person is. And then when you see someone lose so much weight it's almost like you could not imagine their face looking any different, but IT DOES! So it can come as a shock, but obviously one that is positive.

So unless you personally think about how gross and disgusting and monster-like people were in their before pics, don't assume anyone else is going there either.

MaximalLife

Well, yes.
What they're really saying is..

"...wow! you were such a walrus - so ugly and totally loathsome, and now? You look almost normal".....

Just accept the kind words and be glad most people don't speak their real minds.

chottyyoung1

I love it!!! I lost 100 pounds a couple years ago and to be completely honest, people when I saw people I hadnt seen in a long time and they DIDNT say anything, I was almost offended! LOL - but, honestly, I do think that they are just saying "awesome work".

CalJur

Accept the compliment for what it is worth. It's a compliment. Thinking way too much trying to analyze it. Enjoy it. Relish it.