I need a reply to this comment I keep getting

Options
1234568

Replies

  • JimieLou
    JimieLou Posts: 273 Member
    Options
    I find headbutting useful? Lol, sorry, I have a friend like this so I know how you feel. To be honest I found them too toxic to be around and withdrew from them.


    This!!



    I have a former friend who was the same way. She still is. Hit a 'fad diet' hard, have instant success and then balloons back up once she gets bored with it. We are still acquaintances, and I see her FB status talk about changing for good this time and making the change permanent. Knowing what we have went through in the past years, I know she's jealous of the success I've had with my lifestyle change. Recently she had posted that she had lost 20 pounds....I saw her talking to someone at the bar about how she had lost so much weight. I didn't think too much of it until someone said that it looked like she had gained 20 pounds.

    She asks me every now and then for some tips/advice, but always turns her nose up when I tell her how much I workout/weigh my wood/count cals/drink water/etc.

    Nowadays, I don't avoid her to a point where she realizes that's what I'm doing, I just avoid having that type of convo with her because she always finds some way to sneakily put me down.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Options
    Showing disinterest always works for me. I think your response was perfect. Once she realizes you don't give a *kitten* she'll stop thinking you'll pat her back.

    Either that or go totally overboard in the opposite direction and REALLY "OH my GOSH that's GREAT! How wonderful!!"
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Options
    She's jealous and is trying to sabotage you. Punch her in the face.
    This!
  • rubygarcia86
    rubygarcia86 Posts: 73 Member
    Options
    Showing disinterest always works for me. I think your response was perfect. Once she realizes you don't give a *kitten* she'll stop thinking you'll pat her back.
    & if you are expecting her to be happy for you when you achieve your goal, she wont be...so that's also something to think about.
  • dianefisher47
    dianefisher47 Posts: 234 Member
    Options
    I just had that happen to me, an ex sister in law telling me she lost 103lbs in less than a year I doing the right way I have lost 32lbs. All I could reply was good for you , now lets just wait to see who puts it back on sooner.....hihihi I know she will:blushing: :drinker:
  • _GingerSnap_
    _GingerSnap_ Posts: 339 Member
    Options
    She sounds like what I call the "one upper". I feel your pain on this one and had a "friend" that was the same way. After awhile I did have to end our friendship becuase I'm not into competing with my nearest and dearest.

    So you can either ignore her, cur her out of your life or when she says she's lost another 8 lbs...tell her she should just look behind her and she'll find it on her @$$.

    Whatever works for you.:laugh:
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
    Options
    Just ignore it. Why do you need a comeback? It actually has nothing to do with you. It's her journey. Just leave her to it. If she asks for your advice, give it gently, but if not, just congratulate her on her losses and leave it at that.

    Agreed! She is proud of HER efforts just as you should be proud of YOURS. there is no reason to think she is doing it to be rude or insensative. maybe she is just excited with her progress. If she does this yearly it tells me she has been struggling with her weight for some time and any positive change is a welcome one I am sure. If she is your friend, be a friend and be encouraging to her as she should be to you. It should not be a competition on either side and if it is maybe you aren't as good of friends as either of you may think. Good luck to both of you on your journeys.
  • ladykate7
    ladykate7 Posts: 206 Member
    Options
    love the 4+ moobies comeback on the dude :laugh:

    Yeah, for the friend, Give her the high five, say congrats, genuinely ask her how its goiing. Be the kind of friend you want her to be for you. If the low carb works for her than kudos. But stick to the plan you've mapped out for yourself and gloat your victories too, Cross your fingers that she'll follow suit and be just as congratulatory when its you dropping weight. ( but I bet she'll just be jealous)
  • AlicynH
    AlicynH Posts: 201 Member
    Options
    LOL!! Love it!!
  • elliejmoore
    elliejmoore Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    Say "that's nice, I'm changing my lifestyle so I can get healthy and fit, AND stay that way. I wouldn't want to do the yo-yo thing" And leave it at that

    i like that!! already proven her faddy diets r short lived and theres the magic word...diet. Its not about being on a diet, u know that and in the long run u will succeed more. anyways, low carb is very unhealthy n she runs the risk of heart attacks if done for a prolonged period of time..xx
  • PetraCore
    PetraCore Posts: 11 Member
    Options
    Just say, "Good for you!"

    It's not really your place to judge or decide what she does with her life. Also, she's proud of her loss. She's not being insensitive, you are being overly sensitive. Why in the world do you feel compelled to, "put her in her place" ??? I think that actually shows that you are the competitive one.

    I agree with this, the best thing you can do for yourself and your friend is just allow her to be excited for herself. Keep doing what you are doing, she should have no bearing on your success. No matter how good intentioned you are, no one can make up someone else's mind for them. We all have to start this journey on our own merits in order to find success. We all have to suffer through our own trial and errors. Having the patience to succeed is what will get you there. Through the years I have had several friends try to "compete" with me. Learning to not get wrapped up in their drama has been a sometimes hard lesson for me, but it's one I needed to learn in order to succeed for myself. I wish you much success!
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
    Options
    If you are doing it the right way, then the only "comeback" you need will be your ability to keep the weight off come 6 months from now when shes gotten bored of her low carb diet and is putting all the weight back on again.

    Just brush it off for now. Be the bigger person.

    I agree with this. When she comes back in a few months and has gained it ALL back you'll still be XX lbs lighter. and next year when she starts her low carbing again and tells you how she lost EIGHT POUNDS you can be like "that's awesome, I'm already down 40 (or whatever)'

    No comeback necessary. Just be patient.
  • elliejmoore
    elliejmoore Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    Just ignore it. Why do you need a comeback? It actually has nothing to do with you. It's her journey. Just leave her to it. If she asks for your advice, give it gently, but if not, just congratulate her on her losses and leave it at that.

    This!

    Exactly! Jealous is really unbecoming.

    its not jealousy tho.
  • Hegelian
    Hegelian Posts: 7
    Options
    I think your competitive friend is jealous of something you have that she doesn't and is exaggerating her 'success'. That weight loss is never real or possible in that time frame. I might try and say that for you low carb is not the way as you are trying something that for you is healthy, realistic and sustainable over the long term. Stick at it at your pace, for you, for your reasons and ignore your friends competitive jibes. People only become competitive if they think they are losing.
  • Cheryl943
    Cheryl943 Posts: 83
    Options
    I say stop worrying about her and take good care of your own health and well being. If her posts hurt you hide them. If she is insensitive in person limit the contact. If she asks why, tell her, but otherwise she won't get it. You can't change her. You can only change how you deal with her. What she does is out of your control but what you do is. That's more important anyway. Look to us for your support and encouragement. Stay true to who you are and your values always. Don't get back at her for being wrong about life and friendship. Stay strong.::bigsmile:
  • KellyAFraley
    KellyAFraley Posts: 39
    Options
    I find headbutting useful? Lol, sorry, I have a friend like this so I know how you feel. To be honest I found them too toxic to be around and withdrew from them.

    I have had experiences with the same type and I too just walked away.
  • kriskaryl
    kriskaryl Posts: 120 Member
    Options
    Such a perfect retort. Straight-forward, honest, and puts her in her place in a polite way. The only thing left is to add "Bless your heart".
  • LindaLouLu
    LindaLouLu Posts: 271 Member
    Options
    You know, I've got an ultra competitive friend like this too.
    We agreed to start our "Get healthy" journey together (admittedly, long distance since she lives clear across the country). Anyway, I opted for the Healthy way to get healthy and she went all Fad-Diet (I don't know which one cause I've never bothered to pay attention to them).I know she didn't do an ounce of exercise either. Well, she dropped 25 pounds. It didn't take her very long. Less than 6 months, I know that much cause she was bragging non-stop! I was REALLY mad at her at first, but then I sat back and was like, "Ok. So what? So she dropped faster. How long can she really KEEP it off??" Well, while I'm just shy of meeting my 25 lbs mark, she's already gained it back and MORE! She's now 30lbs HEAVIER than when we first started!! Patience is a virtue. I'm kind of agreeing with all those votes to just let it alone. Though at the time I WILL admit that I wanted to punch her in the face, headbutt her, make and send her delicious fat laden cookies, and have THE ultimate comeback. But now I'm kind of super happy I just said "That's nice" while I continue to shrink in a healthy way and she's beginning to think on trying another Fad. She may lose it faster, but I'm losing it healthier and in the end when she goes for yet ANOTHER Fad-Diet, I can smile the whole way to the gym and know that "I won" :blushing:
  • serenity216
    serenity216 Posts: 512 Member
    Options
    " I like losing weight the way I am doing it... a little more slowly but I eat all the carbs I want!!!!!!!!!!!!! CARBS, NOM NOM NOM ". Then eat carbs in front of her, smacking your lips and moaning with food-pleasure.

    Alright, maybe a little over the top but I dislike that obnoxious, competitive weight loss comments from friends :wink:

    LOL!!!
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
    Options
    Let's see... your friend was inspired by your weight loss to do something about her own weight. She's in the early days of her change where every pound that comes off is exciting so she posts about about on FB. You told her about MFP but she likes SparksPeople better (as do a lot of people, actually. It's a very popular site.) She finds going low carb is the best way to lose weight so that's what she's doing.

    What a horrible *****! I'd cut her! :laugh:

    Seriously, you could have looked at it as "wow, I've inspired my friend to lose weight. Go me!" But apparently her losing weight threatens you in some way; I think you need to look at yourself and ask yourself why that is. Because I see nothing wrong in what she's doing.

Categories