HELP please! I'm SO upset!

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  • beckylawrence70
    beckylawrence70 Posts: 752 Member
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    It's not hard at all to gain 5 lbs in a couple of weeks, are u kidding?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Maybe she was complaining about being fat, and in order to reassure her, he said that if she was fat he wouldn't be with her.

    Let's all calm down.

    OP, don't give up. Keep hitting your calorie target and you'll be fine. Don't eat too much, but don't eat too little.
  • milaxx
    milaxx Posts: 1,122 Member
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    I gotta call BS on the "best thing that ever happened to you" saying that he'll leave you if you're fat.

    Take a deep breath and come up with a game plan to eat better. Google for eating on a budget, there are loads of sites.

    I know it can get overwhelming when you're unemployed, but you can do this.
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
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    HUH?
    Why is everybody down on the bf?
    He told you the truth. Be glad.
    Use that to motivate you. Truth is not all unicorns and rainbows.
    Fat is unattractive, and that's reality.

    Yes but her boyfriend not being attracted to her shouldn't be the reason to lose weight, she is having a rough time, and it's just a few lbs, what if she had been in an accident, confined to bed for months and gained triple that or more, a good partner would be by your side and not threatening to leave you. Attractiveness goes beyond looks.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    I'm sorry to be going against the majority opinion, but leave the poor guy alone. The way I read it was that he doesn't believe his girlfriend to be fat. The OP telling you he laughs when she tells him she's gained is a good indication in my eye that he doesn't really care about that.

    I would advise to stop worrying about that, and focus on getting your life back in order. Get your eating sorted out and the weight will soon drop back off.
  • DevanEve
    DevanEve Posts: 130
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    Your boyfriend needs a penis punch. Toss him out along with your scale!

    Well put! I can't even imagine my boyfriend saying something like that to me. It's one thing to express your concerns to your partner about their weight gain, etc. but to say you would leave them because they got fat - nope nope nope.

    Also, stress can actually help with weight gain. Try to relax with the scale and weigh again in 2 weeks if you need to weigh yourself. I weigh myself once a week but sometimes when I need extra motivation I skip one and wait so I can see a big loss. :)
  • nishaaa
    nishaaa Posts: 2
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    Just relax.. your bf was probably joking, me and my bf we have piled on the kilos a few times in our relationship over the years but neither of us left the relationship. we just laughed about it and made fun of each other's muffin top etc but we just got on and lost the weight with regular exercise and eating healthy when we are out... just go easy on the carbo and go for jogs around the block followed by some squats/ planks/ crunches in the evenings and you should be good.. shouldn't take more than an hour in a day..
  • busyblkgirl
    busyblkgirl Posts: 264 Member
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    What freaks me out the most is my BF has said "If you were fat, we wouldn't be together".... so I'm concerned I'm going to lose him on top of all of the **** I've been going through lately, & I'm pretty sure he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He laughs when I say I've gained a bit... but NOW? You can actually SEE it.


    I'm pretty sure if he's saying this, then he's not the best thing that ever happened to you. Matter of fact, I think he's just the opposite of the best thing that ever happened to you. Without really knowing you, I can tell you that one of the best things that ever happened to you was the day you decided to make a positive change in your life, and signed on to a community who will support you to become the person you want to be. Remember chic, ya gotta love yourself first.
  • GuruOnAMountain
    GuruOnAMountain Posts: 489 Member
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    HUH?
    Why is everybody down on the bf?
    He told you the truth. Be glad.
    Use that to motivate you. Truth is not all unicorns and rainbows.
    Fat is unattractive, and that's reality.

    My wife disclosed to me that I was not attractive fat. Our bodies are the one thing we have 100% control of, so get to it.
    I'd rather have honesty than somebody too nice to tell me what I need to hear.
    I was FAT! My wife married a guy in peak condition, then watched as I ballooned after an accident.
    Love is never unconditional. That's just a lie - only true in romance books.
    The message you're getting here is not the right medicine that will prepare you for reality.
    The world is as it is - not how we wish it could be.
    Take ownership of your health now while you're young; it only gets harder as we age.

    Good Luck.

    I think the key point here is that your wife found you unattractive when fat but she didn't leave you or threaten to leave you. Love was more than skin deep for her. Perhaps this is just one of those differences between men and women because I know that men are more visual but certainly I know that I, myself, and loads of my friends have had crushes on guys that were fat before just because they had great personalities. Women do seem a bit more inclined to fall for personality in a long-term or potential long-term relationship more so than looks. Maybe that's why so many of the women here are getting upset because to them it is a rediculous thing to say that if your partner were fat, you'd leave them.
  • zoominzozo
    zoominzozo Posts: 92 Member
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    Yikes...everyone...have you ever met a man before? Guys say stupid stuff like that in an attempt to make us feel better about ourselves. More than likely he thinks she looks great and truly doesn't notice the 10 pounds. Even some of the MOST shallow guys wouldn't break up with someone over a few pounds. He was probably just kidding around! To the OP, just get back at your routine. LIfe happens. Learn to roll with the punches. Maybe your BF is a jerk, maybe not, but this isn't about him and his opinion of you, it's about you getting a handle on your health while you're still young and able.

    ^^^^ I agree.

    I'm the type of girl who hangs out with guys and 9 outta 10 say stuff like your Boyf. What guys say and do are two completely different things! It's best to ignore and get healthy for the right reasons!
  • MindyG150
    MindyG150 Posts: 1,296 Member
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    Sounds like the only thing you need to lose is your boyfriend! Don't worry about the weight. Get your ducks in a row, focus on employment, and when the time is right you can focus on losing body fat if you need to. In the meantime, you're active in fixing up your house. When you go out to eat, always bring back leftovers. :)
    I agree, dump the boyfriend!
  • wells0707
    wells0707 Posts: 251 Member
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    Now, for the boyfriend. You're not going to like this and I apologize in advance, but he sounds like a TOOL! You are gorgeous and I'm sure a wonderful person and at 155, you are not fat by any standards unless of course you're 4 feet tall. To say to someone "i won't be with you if you're fat" is a rude, thoughtless, just plain ****ty thing to say. I would say good-bye to him but if that's not an option you should tell him what a hurtful insensitive pig he is.

    Just my two cents. Hang in there. You're OK!
    [/quote]

    What she said...^.^
    [/quote]



    This! Good bye boyfriend!
  • Janice032557
    Janice032557 Posts: 163 Member
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    Well, I hate to say it but...I agree with everyone who said to dump the jerk. Right now you need to concentrate on what needs to get done. If he can't be supportive of what your needs are now, he never will. I hope you are never in this situation again, but if it does happen, is he going to be worried about your figure or your frame of mind and health?

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