Do you think it is true that marriage...

jnbud2002

I've found that the couple tends to get "comfortable". I mean, you aren't out trying to look all good to score yourself a man/woman. And when you get comfortable with your significant other, you both tend to let things slide.. At least this has been the case for me and some of my friends. But now we are both on wagon to lose and get back to where we were when we met and smaller!

Mom0fTwo

Kids is a major factor for most, specially for women since the body changes during pregnancy. But what about guys? They also gain weight. And although when having kids, life takes a different twist, it shouldn't really be a reason not to pay attention to ourselves. In fact, healthy fit parents have a bigger chance to educate their children about being healthy and also opens the door to be more active with them, etc.

I know exactly why men gain weight when women are pregnant, once us women get past the first 5 months our stomach feels like they have shrunk being pushed up higher and all, so the food that we were used to eating in one go cant be done anymore. Literally the "eyes are bigger than the belly" syndrome, unfortuately without really noticing it my hubby kept eating my leftovers and therefore eating 0.5X more than he used to, with each of my 2 pregnancies he gained 15 lbs each but i am eating better and now so is he and he has lost 8lbs too

slhsaka

It definitely happened to me... but losing weight doesn't always equal success either because my ex-husband and I split up as I began to lose weight... :ohwell:

scrapbookdiva2

Perhaps to some it might be true but in my case I am actually in better shape now than when I got married. I think mainly what changed for me after I got married was time meaning time to focus on myself new challenges of adjusting to sharing my life and all my time with another person, different goals and expectations, life changes ie. new home, or a family. I find now that my family is older, I can now reshuffle my time and goals to include my health and wellness. In fact my husband and my family are now my biggest reason for wanting to get back in shape.

sjmgde

I gotta say, probably the fact that after marriage most couple stop complimenting each other, might have a psychological effect that contributes to gain weight and not caring anymore. In other words, Self-esteem goes down and weight goes up.

that is a sad marrge is compliment go out the doot. My husbandan i still compliment each othr every day. infact, we have more love for each other now than we did wen we first mt. ANdi donto think it is fair to say i a married so i have gianed weight. Life happens, your body changes, metalbolism changes. Tere are lot of factors that happen to a person other than marriage thatcontribute to gaining weight

Sul3i

I've been with my hubby almost 10 yrs and we both packed on weight id say almost 140 lbs between the 2 of us but because I joined mfp started working out n eating better i lost almost all of mine! Its true tho u get comfortable n stop taking care of yourself but I feel its important to keep working on urself... I was depressed and miserable at my highest weight and it effected the marriage... things are def better now! :-)

Mama_CAEI

I started gaining weight after I met my husband but not out of complacency: he is a fantastic cook, enjoys cooking and enjoys feeding those he loves. So when he started feeding me...oh boy, did the pounds come on!
He gained weight not only from eating what he was cooking but also because he works as a cook and got into the habit of nibbling at work: a few fries here and there, lots of Pepsi...it started adding up.
Nearly 10 years of marriage and 4 kids later, I now weigh less than I did when I met him. He's also lost 35 or so pounds. We still found each other attractive when we were heavier, but we now both think the other looks pretty fricking fantastic. It's definitely been good for our relationship.

Bronx_Montgomery

It doesn't necessarily sticks to just marriage. It happens if people are just dating. We tend to get comfortable around each other. We tend to work out not only to be healthy but to be attractive to others. Sometimes when we meet that person our mind set changes and instead of being at the gym / working out 2-3 hours a day, we decide not go to just to spend more time with that person.

Shutterpillar

I dont think it's the thought that you've snagged them so you dont have to look good for them... I definitely think the opposite. as I age, I want to KEEP looking good for my husband. I want him to wake up every morning and be thankful he married me.

I think the biggest factor in the weight-gain is children. At least for me, it has been a fact that my kids will always come first. And they certainly have altered my body so it carries itself differently. I accumulate more weight around my middle now that i've had a c-section because there is less muscle there. it is extremely hard to get rid of that post-csection bit of fat.

Another thing that I am sure plays a big role in it is age. You get married, you age together, your metabolism slows down.

Lifestyle has a BIG part to play in it as well... which is what I am on MFP to change.

Jenncoc86

check out fitness they had a whole article about it a month or two go, we tend to change our eating habit to what ever our spouse does. What ever is easier.Not everyone but some people.

jenniet04

Definitely happened to hubby and me, but before kids we were able to work together to get it off and keep it off before it got out of control. It wasn't really until after having kids that it became a problem.

firstnamekaren

In my situation, my husband and I started to gain weight together. We enjoyed trying new restaurants together, and we weren't really inactive...we'd even go to the gym together. However, we slowly gained weight. We actually actively started tracking calories and then I got pregnant. BOTH of us did not watch our weight throughout the pregnancy, and after my son's birth we were just too tired (and busy!) to get healthy.

I get trying to look good for your spouse, but I married my husband for more than his looks. I know weight struggles are hard, and I have always left my husband's health decisions entirely up to him. Luckily, he's smart enough to know we both need to get in better shape for our child's sake.

LorinaLynn

I've been up and down and up and down quite a few times during the 10 years we've been married. I was happy with my size when we got married, then a year later lost more than I wanted due to jaw problems a year later, then gained when I could finally eat normally again, then tried losing with minimal success... but for the most part, I was about the same size (higher end of healthy range, but a healthy range) through the last ten years, until depression and anxiety after losing both my parents and my job got the better of me.

ErinBeth7

Do you think it is true that marriage is a major factor when it comes about gaining weight? Some people use it as a joke that all you need to do in order to gain weight is to get married.

The logic I'm finding behind this, although that statement is not always true, is that when people get married, they feel they already have someone with them, so there's no need to take care of themselves anymore. That goes for both women and men.

What do you think about this?

I think it varies from person to person. Some people may get involved in other aspects of their life once married. Maybe they don't have time to be so health conscious. Others may feel that they don't need to take care of themselves, like you've mentioned. Then there are those who are always health conscious and can't stand to "let themselves go."

Rae6503

Babies, maybe but not marriage. My husband and I are both about the same weight and I am in WAY better shape.

tgh1914

I don't think most of marriage weight gain is about taking each other for granted. I think it is a combination of things, different ones for different people, but including

*kids: pregnancy changes your body
*kids: your life revolves around them and you don't have time for yourself
*kids: you feed them mac and cheese, pizza, and cheeseburgers and you eat that yourself, too
*career: the older you get the more job responsibilities you are likely to have and that leaves less time for yourself
*age + metabolism changes
*marriage rewards: for example, I'm at the store and I see my husband's favorite brand of cookies, so I buy them to surprise him and then we both eat them. Or, he buys me candy for Valentine's Day

I'm sure there are lots of other reasons, too, but I think those are part of it.

This ^^^

The not caring as much about your looks thing is just one of many factors that change once you're married. There's just generally more to worry about in life when it's not just all about you as a single person. When there are other competing priorities, fitness/nutrition can tend to go on the back burner for a lot of folks. Obviously, it doesn't mean it can't all be done AND stay in great shape at the same time, but it's MUCH harder after life throws stuff at you like the needs of a signif other, more demanding job, kids, age, more house & bills, etc.

DaniellePF

It depends on who you are and who you married. I want a life long love affair with my husband. SOOOOO, I am always making sure I look my best--he is hot, so he deserves a hot wife Our flame has yet to fizzle even a LITTLE :-)

bcattoes

Do you think it is true that marriage is a major factor when it comes about gaining weight? Some people use it as a joke that all you need to do in order to gain weight is to get married.

The logic I'm finding behind this, although that statement is not always true, is that when people get married, they feel they already have someone with them, so there's no need to take care of themselves anymore. That goes for both women and men.

What do you think about this?

I agree that marriage can make one gain weight, at least it did me. But it wasn't that I felt I didn't need to take care of myself. It's just that I ate out more often than when I was single. Suddenly I ate "dinner" every friggin' day, whereas when I was single I might just have a bowl of cereal or a few chips and salsa if I wasn't very hungry. I spent more evenings talking and relaxing with a bottle of wine on the porch than I did working out. And, there was someone there always telling me that I looked good, and there was no way I'd gained 5 (then 10, then 15...) lbs because I looked just as hot as the day we started dating. It turns out that I'm very susceptible to flattery when it's genuine.

Natural

partly. i've seen peeps blow up like balloons right after they say i do, well not right after but several months later. men and women. poof

oh but i won't go so far as to say they don't want to take care of themselves, things change, life gets in the way and maybe they don't make time for exercise or healthy eating. it's tough, but it can be done.

njean888

I think it simply depends on the individual. I have always been into fitness and the way I looked. So even after 10 years and 2 kids, I look the same as I did. However the hubby, not so much. He can care less and yes a part of his not caring comes from being married. However one thing is for certain, if I ever left him he would diet and workout and look like I have asked him to look for the last 8 years.

MikeSEA

I think for me it's more that the number of times I ate increased, and I find cooking for two to be amazingly difficult. i can cook for 1 or 3+, but 2 apparently is an impossibility for me.

rammsteinsoldier

I my case it was true. When I am married, I find myself unhappy and then I eat. When I am single, I am much happier so I have more energy and don't just sit around and feel sorry for myself. Not a great commentary on my marriages is it.

brbetha01

Could be you get extra comfortable and let other tasks take priority over maintaining your weight and health. I made it a goal not to gain weight like one usually sees because maintaining my appearance and health is a huge priority.

russellma

Kids is a major factor for most, specially for women since the body changes during pregnancy. But what about guys? They also gain weight. And although when having kids, life takes a different twist, it shouldn't really be a reason not to pay attention to ourselves. In fact, healthy fit parents have a bigger chance to educate their children about being healthy and also opens the door to be more active with them, etc.

I'll second that kids have a big effect on women's weight gain!

My husband was 19 when we got married and only weighed 120 lbs, so yes, he definitely gained! Part of it was because he wasn't finished developing yet. Part of it was that I packed his lunch every day and cooked dinner every night, and he happens to think I'm a good cook! In 15 years, he's gained 20 lbs, so he's still not overweight, by any stretch.

Now, me, on the other hand... I was thin when I got married, but I didn't have a chance to get off the weight from my second pregnancy before number three was on the way, and then it was next to impossible to get it off, due to some imbalances. My youngest is 4 and I've finally gotten back to where I should be. My dear husband has loved me through every phase, which makes me appreciate him even more!

I suppose some of the trend is because "he/she loves me just the way I am," which is (or should be) true. Sometimes, life happens. But, I don't think that's a good reason to let yourself go, if you can help it. The way I see it, If I love him, I'm going to keep myself attractive and healthy for as long as I can (and vice versa).

Thad81

It was true for me. I was enormous when I was married. I began my downward trend after my divorce.

DisneyAddictRW

I didn't put my weight on because of being happily married. It was my own fault for letting myself go. Not making it a priority to stay in shape. I had 3 kids, got married, and husband got cancer. Everyday life was busy but I never scheduled in time for me. I always had excuses.

MaximalLife

partly. i've seen peeps blow up like balloons right after they say i do, well not right after but several months later. men and women. poof

oh but i won't go so far as to say they don't want to take care of themselves, things change, life gets in the way and maybe they don't make time for exercise or healthy eating. it's tough, but it can be done.

We all want to think that our love is so deep that it transcends physical beauty - yea right!
I'd be replaced by now if I had not lost the fat.
One warning was all it took, and if that sounds cruel, think of it another way.

Her honesty is what motivated me to change.
More relationships would survive if people communicated with each other honestly.

kennethmgreen

Do you think it is true that marriage is a major factor when it comes about gaining weight? Some people use it as a joke that all you need to do in order to gain weight is to get married.

The logic I'm finding behind this, although that statement is not always true, is that when people get married, they feel they already have someone with them, so there's no need to take care of themselves anymore. That goes for both women and men.

What do you think about this?

I think it will be true for some people. But it is not a universal truth.

People do often gain weight when they get married, and it might sometimes be because they're not out in the dating scene looking for a mate, and have lost some motivation to stay in shape. They might have married a great cook, too.

But I think marriage also happens very often when people are maturing and/or get career-type jobs, or start to raise kids. So you have other factors in play that can lead to weight gain/being less fit: getting older, and more sedentary jobs, longer work hours, less time for the gym, etc.

bmusic86

My husband and I both gained weight when we got married, but it wasn't because we didn't want to look good for each other. We treated everyday like a special occasion. We went out to eat more, split bottles of wine, and snuggled on the couch. We have since changed our date nights into tennis playing, going for walks, and eating at the table instead of in front of the tv.

cakeums

My husband and I have both gained weight over the time we've been together. I've gained about 50lbs, he has probably gained about 35lbs. The attraction is still there something fierce though!

I think part of it is that we were 20 and 21 when we started dating, he was a Marine and I was broke and just not eating much, lol. Now I am 28 and he is almost 30, he's no longer in the military, I spent a good chunk of our first 5 years together either pregnant or breastfeeding (several pregnancy losses, two successful pregnancies and a combined total of 2.5 years of breastfeeding, plus I am one of the unlucky ones who can't restrict calories too much while nursing because my supply was very sensitive to dietary changes), we both work and go to school, etc. We just don't take care of ourselves as much as we should now that we are getting "older."

I personally never worried about my attractiveness in the eyes of men to be related to my weight before my husband, because it never seemed to affect my dating life before. I was pretty thin anyway, at 5'10 and anywhere from 145-165lbs during my high school and early college years. So I don't see it as "letting myself go" just because I'm no longer looking for a mate. We just got lazy and comfortable. I still can't get undressed in the same room as him and be able to hold his attention in conversation, LOL!