Should i say something??!!

LeanerBeef

My uncle posted on his facebook status that he loves his kids and hopes to one day see them again and that he knows he made mistakes but that he has never forgotten about them. And his son replied to his post and said we have a dad so just worry about your other kids kus you dont have any other children. Frankly this pisses me off my uncle was never bad to him or his two other siblings and yes he left because he got deported not like he just abandoned them. His mother on the other hand has filled their heads with so much bull**** over the years that they hate him. But regardless what he thinks the truth is its just unacceptable for him to say something like that to his father on facebook. I mean if you hate him so freaking much and you say you arent a part of his family then why is it that your friends with him on facebook as well as with all your aunts and uncles and cousins

Apparently your family, yourself included, has a strange habit of posting their personal business on the internet........I say you should zip it! Either that or post this to your FB status.

MaryB2

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KimmieBrie

My uncle posted on his facebook status that he loves his kids and hopes to one day see them again and that he knows he made mistakes but that he has never forgotten about them. And his son replied to his post and said we have a dad so just worry about your other kids kus you dont have any other children. Frankly this pisses me off my uncle was never bad to him or his two other siblings and yes he left because he got deported not like he just abandoned them. His mother on the other hand has filled their heads with so much bull**** over the years that they hate him. But regardless what he thinks the truth is its just unacceptable for him to say something like that to his father on facebook. I mean if you hate him so freaking much and you say you arent a part of his family then why is it that your friends with him on facebook as well as with all your aunts and uncles and cousins

Stay out of it. I have to say - if any cousin of mine thought they better understood the relationship between myself and my Mom or Dad - I'd say they were super presumptuous, nosy, and crossing a line they have no right to cross - and I'd tell them to mind their own business, and probably not in a nice way either.

There are 3 sides to every story - yours, theirs, and the truth. You may think you know everything, but I doubt it. Butt out. It's not your relationship.

AwesomelyAmber

Facebook causes more drama than it's worth... if only people would pick up the phone.

MissFit0101

Its sounds more like you are trying to find people who agree with what you already decided to do rather than actually recieve input. You're just trying to rationalize a poor decision.
Just saying!

Why would she need people to agree if she had already decided what to do? I don't think it is a poor decision but I also don't get that she has already made up her mind what to do. I don't understand why some people act like only sertain questions are ok to ask on here.

I am sorry you are not familar with the concept of trying to rationalize decisions based on emotions.

Here's an article to get you started:
http://www.burg.com/2010/03/rationalize-rational-lies…it’s-a-“human-thing”/

I'm sorry you're not capable of understanding what you read. That article says nothing about people trying to get others to justify a decision made before doing it. It says that majority of decisions people make are based on emotions and they LATER try to justify those decisions with logic. If she was doing that she would have said something to her cousin and then tried to justify to everyone why she did it. Like she already pointed out, she was wondering what others in the same situation would do and she got a variety answers and reasons. She also got some ignorant responses that sound like they are coming from someone that enjoys being an @$$ to people.

aww come on now .. is name calling really needed at this point? I mean I get it ... you are offened and can't express your discontent without resorting to calling someone names, however, I would suggest if you get that upset over my opinion, then perhaps, the ignorant one is the person calling people names, and resorting to such low brow tatics as you have demonstrated. I wasn't trying to be offensive, trying to provide an alternate perspective which I thought I was allowed to do on a public forum. When my opinion got questioned I responded with an article supporting the information. I am sorry you are soo insecure that you feel the need to call someone names. I do kind of find it funny that you got this upset over 3 sentences. Perhaps you should talk to someone in anger management?

You are trying to make yourself sound smart and I was merely pointing out that the article you suggested did not support your opinion. In your first response to her you were rude and the comments you made were uncalled for. Maybe you should think about the fact that it is only you and your dog because you are rude to people and not weight related at all. There are plenty of people on here trying to lose weight yet we still have friends, husbands and significant others. I didn't get the sense that you are charming or kind from any of your posts.

LOL I thought the SAME THING when I read his profile...

oceanchristy

It is not your place to say anything , facebook is a catalyst for social problems - people say things that arent rational on there.
If the father really wants to be part of his kids lives , he would find a way other than facebook to talk about becoming that part.
It's inappropriate for both the father and son to be using social media to talk about family issues.
They need to work it out on their own , and involving yourself with inevitably leave someone resenting you.

ItsMeRebekah

nope -- i would hold it in, even tho i know thats pretty hard

oceanchristy

Oh~ and in Apazman's defence - you were asking for opinions, and all he did was give you his.

What's that saying again, if you can't stand the heat??

mamasasa

He is your uncle. Let him know he is welcome in your life and your family. His kids have to work out their issues for themselves. The only life you have control of is your own. Send you uncle your love and acceptance. He will appreciate the gift.

sjmgde

Its sounds more like you are trying to find people who agree with what you already decided to do rather than actually recieve input. You're just trying to rationalize a poor decision.
Just saying!

agreed ^^^^^^^^^^

savlyon

That's tough. I made the mistake of getting involved in a similar situation and it just pulled me into the drama. A better approach might have been to send a PM to the father just saying something about how sorry I felt about the situation he is and sending hopes that things get better and forgiveness comes.

Becky1971

I think it might be okay for you to say something about what you know, depending on your relationship with your cousin. But You definitely shouldn't say anything if this is your attitude toward your cousin. You would need to come from a validating and understanding perspective and you don't seem to have that. No matter what your cousin is innocent, hurt and felt abandon. It doesn't make him a bad person because he has these feelings. Often they do want some kind of connection, that's distant like Facebook, but when the subject of the pain comes up they are going to vent their feelings.

I know its not my place but i know things that neither party knows and i kinda just feel like if they both knew these things they could very well possibly work things out

Jill_newimprovedversion

I think that was a bit wrong of your uncle.

Kinda what I was thinking. Speaking from experience, I have FB family who do post things to zero in on ONE person- then hide behind the wall to see what goes down....

a PRIVATE message with the sentiment might have been MUCH better received- especially since he posted it publicly.
No one posts without wanting some type of response- Making a statement like that, and NOT following up on the responses
makes the comment seem more about the poster than the persons to whom he was referring.

And, not that I think you should say anything, but if you do, do it ON THE PHONE- between you and the cousin....
as a peacemaker, interested in resolving conflict, not making sure each other has more ammo to throw.

Pocket_Pixi

First question. Do you like Drama? Because if you do than say something, if you don't stay out of it.

If in the event you stick your nose in and say something you could possibly harm your relationship with your uncle. This is his kid, and maybe the kid was out of line but you have to kind of understand where he is coming from to. Has your uncle made any attempts other than facebook to reach out to his kids? It sounds like there is a whole lot of hurt going on. They could work things and then who is the bad guy, neither the uncle or the kid but you because you stuck your nose in something.


Perhaps they don't know all the facts, but my guess is you don't either and with out them all its just going to be a huge mess.

I am not nor will I ever be friends with my biological dad on FB - we do not even talk in real life... but if we were and he posted something like that on his wall I probably would have reacted exactly the same way (well maybe not in public because I hate FB drama and I am an adult) but if I was a teenager I would with out even thinking... I know that most of my dads family would come down on me and say things too 'put me in my place' and they do not know the entire situation - just what my dad has told them, which would make far a pretty drama filled and nasty argument.

Rhea30

Its sounds more like you are trying to find people who agree with what you already decided to do rather than actually recieve input. You're just trying to rationalize a poor decision.
Just saying!

You're wrong i wasnt trying to find anyone to agree with me i have not said anything to him although i honestly fell like i should.
A) because he wrote it in english and my uncle only speaks spanish
because he wrote it in a public place where everyone can see it and my uncle doesn't have regular access to the internet so it will probably sit there for a long time before he actually sees it.
and C) I merely wanted to know what someone else would do in the situation

I'm a person who is distant from my father with alot of resentment and plainly don't care for him, so I can understand his son's reaction if he felt abandon by this guy and are you sure you know the truths and that he doesn't? My father had lied to his side of the family for years but it was all found out a few years ago but they always thought he was telling the truth until proof came to noticed.

There is probably to much personal emotions going on with the situation so its probably best you don't get involved. When I had someone from my father's side try to tell me how I should give my father a chance it pissed me off since it wasn't her business and also had no idea how I felt (nor did she care).

You said he shouldn't had wrote those things in public, well the same goes for your uncle, he should not had drawn attention in public either since he knows the cards. He could of got a hold of his son or kids privately to tell them but when he made the comment in public it then puts them in a spot and probably stirred up emotions and that's were you get the reaction from his son.

HorrorChix89

Sometimes it's best to just let those involved deal with it themselves. No matter if it is family. In the long run you could end up making things worst.

momof8munchkins

No, no, no ... you will not fix anything, and all the anger will be turned on you.

Just what I was thinking.. nothing you say can change this siuation but what it will do is stir up more drama and cause the son and people on his side to come after you.. stay out of it.

MaryB2

Its sounds more like you are trying to find people who agree with what you already decided to do rather than actually recieve input. You're just trying to rationalize a poor decision.
Just saying!

Why would she need people to agree if she had already decided what to do? I don't think it is a poor decision but I also don't get that she has already made up her mind what to do. I don't understand why some people act like only sertain questions are ok to ask on here.

I am sorry you are not familar with the concept of trying to rationalize decisions based on emotions.

Here's an article to get you started:
http://www.burg.com/2010/03/rationalize-rational-lies…it’s-a-“human-thing”/

I'm sorry you're not capable of understanding what you read. That article says nothing about people trying to get others to justify a decision made before doing it. It says that majority of decisions people make are based on emotions and they LATER try to justify those decisions with logic. If she was doing that she would have said something to her cousin and then tried to justify to everyone why she did it. Like she already pointed out, she was wondering what others in the same situation would do and she got a variety answers and reasons. She also got some ignorant responses that sound like they are coming from someone that enjoys being an @$$ to people.

aww come on now .. is name calling really needed at this point? I mean I get it ... you are offened and can't express your discontent without resorting to calling someone names, however, I would suggest if you get that upset over my opinion, then perhaps, the ignorant one is the person calling people names, and resorting to such low brow tatics as you have demonstrated. I wasn't trying to be offensive, trying to provide an alternate perspective which I thought I was allowed to do on a public forum. When my opinion got questioned I responded with an article supporting the information. I am sorry you are soo insecure that you feel the need to call someone names. I do kind of find it funny that you got this upset over 3 sentences. Perhaps you should talk to someone in anger management?

You are trying to make yourself sound smart and I was merely pointing out that the article you suggested did not support your opinion. In your first response to her you were rude and the comments you made were uncalled for. Maybe you should think about the fact that it is only you and your dog because you are rude to people and not weight related at all. There are plenty of people on here trying to lose weight yet we still have friends, husbands and significant others. I didn't get the sense that you are charming or kind from any of your posts.

LOL I thought the SAME THING when I read his profile...

:happy: At least I'm not the only one.

d2footballJRC

My uncle posted on his facebook status that he loves his kids and hopes to one day see them again and that he knows he made mistakes but that he has never forgotten about them. And his son replied to his post and said we have a dad so just worry about your other kids kus you dont have any other children. Frankly this pisses me off my uncle was never bad to him or his two other siblings and yes he left because he got deported not like he just abandoned them. His mother on the other hand has filled their heads with so much bull**** over the years that they hate him. But regardless what he thinks the truth is its just unacceptable for him to say something like that to his father on facebook. I mean if you hate him so freaking much and you say you arent a part of his family then why is it that your friends with him on facebook as well as with all your aunts and uncles and cousins

Not your place. Not your kid, none of your business imo.

MaryB2

Oh~ and in Apazman's defence - you were asking for opinions, and all he did was give you his.

What's that saying again, if you can't stand the heat??

She didn't say anything other than respond about why his opinion was wrong. When I disagreed with him he got offended and turned into a personal disagreement between the 2 of us. I really don't think that says anythng about the OP at all.