Getting hit on now I have lost weight, awkward

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  • lisaslim1976
    lisaslim1976 Posts: 145
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    What you havn't said is how did it make you feel???
  • lisaslim1976
    lisaslim1976 Posts: 145
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    Dave j 43 we are talking England (UK) here...sorry x
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    What you havn't said is how did it make you feel???

    Going by the title of this thread, my guess would be "awkward"
  • lisaslim1976
    lisaslim1976 Posts: 145
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    ive been in a "awkward" position...but loved it!
  • memcd911
    memcd911 Posts: 230 Member
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    It's amazing how you get hit on AFTER you lose weight.. and unfortunately I've had that problem.. If it's somebody who has known me at my worst, then I tell them they can f*** off, because if I wasn't good for them then I am not good for them now!

    This. Times 412.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
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    Well, I think you should give into him and have an affair. Your husband will find out and divorce you, you will get depresed and get fat again then no more guys will hit on you...job done !!! Of course you could ignore the flirting and enjoy the fact that others are interested but can't have....I know which option I would go for......

    Right. Because these are the only two options. *eyeroll*
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    its made me feel awkward, not horrible, but awkward, I don't want to feel uncomfortable, or give off the wrong signals, I don't want to be unfriendly, I do want to feel that I can be myself and not be embarrassed, I don't want to offend anyone by reading things wrongly, I don't want to cause trouble or make things difficult for anyone, including me.

    I like my job, I think that I will take the advice on board, and if he touches me again, or says anything inappropriate to me, I will make it clear that I am not interested, and then if it carries on I will take if further,

    I do not work with this man, I just go to the place he works in from time to time.

    Thank you all.
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    Well, I think you should give into him and have an affair. Your husband will find out and divorce you, you will get depresed and get fat again then no more guys will hit on you...job done !!! Of course you could ignore the flirting and enjoy the fact that others are interested but can't have....I know which option I would go for......

    You only read the title and first sentence, didn't you?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    I don't think people have to expect that others will come up behind them, uninvited, and touch them.
  • summergirl73
    summergirl73 Posts: 70 Member
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    There are lots of pervy guys out there I would tell him to bugger off, Your married and not interested. If he continues to be a problem report him!!! what if it was a student?? I have had this happen and it is really uncomfortable.
  • Skeemer118
    Skeemer118 Posts: 397 Member
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    Hi Karen.

    I'm sorry this is going on. There is a lot of inappropriate behavior here. The behavior falls within the definition of sexual harassment in the workplace, under US law. The intent of the actor is irrelevant - the key is how the victim feels about the unwanted comments and touching. I advise you talk to a manager about the behavior. Another option is speak to the "gentlemen" directly and tell them you are not comfortable with their comments/touching. Just remember - their intent is irrelevant - its how you feel about the conduct.

    Another possible option: have Bill meet you for lunch one day and have him send a subtle message to the culprits that you are happily married and he's within his rights to bloody noses if someone harasses his wife.

    Good luck! Have a great weekend!

    Dave

    ^This is wonderful^

    Don't put up with this guys crap. If he makes you feel questionable then it's not okay. I had someone treat me similar on Facebook. Not touching of course but just weird comments that made me feel really unhappy. I told my husband that the guy wasn't technically flirting or crossing a line but it just made me feel weird. He said, "Does any of your other guy friends on Facebook make you feel that way?" I told him no. He said "Then you are not just imagining it." I deleted the guy & haven't spoken to him since. I was really uncomfortable & as the poster I quoted said - it's how YOU feel about it. If it makes you feel bad or weird then it's not good.
  • jwaitman
    jwaitman Posts: 367 Member
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    Kind of creepy! Can't believe he actually put his hands on you. How would he have explained that if it was a student! I don't think I would have any problem telling him to keep his hands to himself if he wants to keep them.
  • Shayyy01
    Shayyy01 Posts: 290 Member
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    The compliments are one thing, but touching you is another. This guy is WAY over the line. If he does this again, I would report him to your superior. If he feels that is appropriate behavior, something is seriously wrong and I would be concerned about the safety of other women he is coming into contact with. What grade level is the school you are working in? Does this guy have contact with teen or preteen girls?


    Right, i wouldnt wait for him to do it again, id just report him now. Cant have things like that going on in a school.
  • jodycoady
    jodycoady Posts: 598 Member
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    Tell him you'll make a scene and watch how fast he backs off. They like to do these things in secret, you threaten that, and he runs with his tail between his legs. But really, you HAVE to tell someone, I'd bet you aren't the first he has done that to.
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 477 Member
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    Ask him pointedly whether the school has a zero tolerance sexual harassment policy.

    Love this! What a "casual" way to get your point across! ;)
  • MenaMena
    MenaMena Posts: 232 Member
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    As a school administrator, I would want to be told if one of my teachers or deans behaved this way. Compliments are one thing but no touching and joking that he thought it was a students is just unacceptable.
  • rfarinha
    rfarinha Posts: 388 Member
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    Obviously he didn't think you were one of the children, but if he did, and walked up to a child and put his hands on her hips and whispered in her ear, I would call him a PERV!!!

    Now... As an HR Professional, what he is doing is Sexual Harrassment, and I would politely tell him that his attention is creating an Uncomfortable work environment, and I would seriously consider reporting it to HR.

    Good Luck
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,292 Member
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    Whoa, if somebody 'unauthorised' touched my hips from behind, they'd definitely end up with an elbow in their stomach. thankyouverymuch.

    But flirting and compliments are fun, especially when everybody knows it's not meant to lead anywhere.
  • zincalloy
    zincalloy Posts: 43
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    Dave j 43 we are talking England (UK) here...sorry x

    That is most certainly sexual harrassment in the England I live in.

    If I put my hands on a woman at work like that I would be bang in trouble.
  • natika33
    natika33 Posts: 154 Member
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    Hi Karen.

    I'm sorry this is going on. There is a lot of inappropriate behavior here. The behavior falls within the definition of sexual harassment in the workplace, under US law. The intent of the actor is irrelevant - the key is how the victim feels about the unwanted comments and touching. I advise you talk to a manager about the behavior. Another option is speak to the "gentlemen" directly and tell them you are not comfortable with their comments/touching. Just remember - their intent is irrelevant - its how you feel about the conduct.

    Another possible option: have Bill meet you for lunch one day and have him send a subtle message to the culprits that you are happily married and he's within his rights to bloody noses if someone harasses his wife.

    Good luck! Have a great weekend!

    Dave

    I don't know anything about US law, but I agree with the above poster that you should let this man know that unwanted touching is NOT alright with you.

    Guys who compliment/comment are usually just trying to show their appreciation and maybe testing the waters of how receptive you are. A business-like "Thank you" is all that's required and it usually ends with that. The fact that this guy went straight to touching, however, is more than a little creepy. I don't think he's the type to get subtle hints.
    Ask him pointedly whether the school has a zero tolerance sexual harassment policy.

    ^^This is a good start!

    Good luck!

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