Getting hit on now I have lost weight, awkward

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  • jodycoady
    jodycoady Posts: 598 Member
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    its made me feel awkward, not horrible, but awkward, I don't want to feel uncomfortable, or give off the wrong signals, I don't want to be unfriendly, I do want to feel that I can be myself and not be embarrassed, I don't want to offend anyone by reading things wrongly, I don't want to cause trouble or make things difficult for anyone, including me.

    I like my job, I think that I will take the advice on board, and if he touches me again, or says anything inappropriate to me, I will make it clear that I am not interested, and then if it carries on I will take if further,

    I do not work with this man, I just go to the place he works in from time to time.

    Thank you all.

    He's going to do it again because -- and don't take offense, hear me out -- you allowed him to for those few short seconds....... you may have been frozen with that "uncomfortableness". He WILL try it again. He's seeing how far he can go...A true deviant. And I don't mean that it was your fault. yuck, some guys are creepy.
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
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    He thought you were one of the kids and touched you like that????? What a creep.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    That is beyond hitting on. He put his hands on you. That's harrassment.

    ETA: How do you handle it? You speak to whomever his superior would be. For us, we have a "school board" who he would answer to. Not sure who it would be in this situation. It's an airtight case, because you say Ju witnessed everything.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.
    Expected? Why? Do you usually sexually harrass women at work when they appear attractive?
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    Then today the head actually came up BEHIND me, put both hands on my hips from behind and spoke to me over my shoulder saying 'oo I though you were one of the children

    That's quite worrying!
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.
    Im curious if you ever come back to a thread after posting to see the general consensus that everything you say makes you look like a *kitten*? Its a theme I have noticed over and over again.
  • CynthiaElise
    CynthiaElise Posts: 262 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    I don't think people have to expect that others will come up behind them, uninvited, and touch them.

    Agreed!!!
    Losing weight does not mean a person has now all of a sudden become open to pervy people touching them inappropriately and then proceeding to tell them that he thought I was a kid!!! It's to be expected? You've gotta be kidding me....
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    ive been in a "awkward" position...but loved it!

    Touche
  • SammyPacks
    SammyPacks Posts: 697 Member
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    I had the same issue when I started to lose weight and went to college. These boys are pigs... I have to constantly mention my boyfriend so they stop bugging me... sometimes they make me feel uncomfortable (if a man touched me I'd definitely wouldn't like it if it wasn't my boyfriend) so luckily... that hasn't happened just compliments and people wanting to get my number. It is just so foreign because I use to never get hit on... and barely anyone had a crush on me before I lost weight. Just goes t o show how shallow some people are and don't look past exterior beauty. That why I love my boyfriend <3 he loved me when I was fat :P
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    I don't think people have to expect that others will come up behind them, uninvited, and touch them.

    Agreed!!!
    Losing weight does not mean a person has now all of a sudden become open to pervy people touching them inappropriately and then proceeding to tell them that he thought I was a kid!!! It's to be expected? You've gotta be kidding me....

    I'm thinking whoever said this just skimmed and didn't read the entire post.

    ETA: Now I see who said this. Nevermind.
  • nannigans
    nannigans Posts: 26 Member
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    Well ... first you need to tell him that you are happily married and that HE could get in trouble for touching you or making lewd comments.. I think that would make me feel uncomfortable..

    It's amazing how you get hit on AFTER you lose weight.. and unfortunately I've had that problem.. If it's somebody who has known me at my worst, then I tell them they can f*** off, because if I wasn't good for them then I am not good for them now!


    I completely agree with this. I had the same thing happened when I lost weight. When I went out to the same places that I had always went, guys who had never gave me the time of day were suddenly offering to buy me drinks and it actually just pissed me off. If I am not good enough for someone because I am a "big girl" then I don't want anything to do when them when I am looking good! They don't deserve me!!

    I am also very clear with people when they make lewd comments that it is rude and demeaning. There are ways to pay compliments without being crude about it!!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Let him know politely you consider it inappropriate. While one incident of sufficient severity can constitute sexual harassment-- yours does not fit the bill, even with the touching- as he has not suggested you need to engage in any sexual behavior as a term and condition of employment, your submission/rejection of such conduct has not been used as the basis of an employment decision, and the one incident is insufficient as a matter of law to have reasonably interefered with your work environment to the extent necessary to establish a hostile work environment.



    Good luck!
    Wrong. Touching someone you work with in an unwanted fashion is ABSOLUTELY sexual harrassment. Has nothing to do with employment decisions....just like hanging up sexy pictures of women in your office is also sexual harrassment. Perhaps sexual harrassment panda should give you a talking to.
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  • CynthiaElise
    CynthiaElise Posts: 262 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.
    Im curious if you ever come back to a thread after posting to see the general consensus that everything you say makes you look like a *kitten*? Its a theme I have noticed over and over again.

    Haha, me too, what a douche-canoe...
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    And some people think that just because they got fit that they are attractive.....but really they're even more unattractive than they were when they were fat!!!

    Welcome to the unshallow side of the human race.
  • ctime
    ctime Posts: 4
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    Don't let anyone touch you, man or woman. People who touch me quickly learn to stay out of my personal bubble. Establish and enforce your own personal physiological "area". A simple "enough of that" should be polite enough to anyone to get the picture, if they continue, take it up with your manager (or their manager) and so on.

    Many people who've lost weight will be surprised by the amount of sexual oriented behavior that people find acceptable. We've (former fat kids) just never experienced it.
  • NZGeekGirl
    NZGeekGirl Posts: 87
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    Gotta admit, if I were to get hit on I'd politely tell them I'm married while secretly revealing in the compliment.

    However the touching is inappropriate and that's beyond being hit on and just plain wrong. Either tell him no or go to someone who will ensure it stops. A flirty smile or compliment is one thing, what he's doing is NOT cool!
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    And some people think that just because they got fit that they are attractive.....but really they're even more unattractive than they were when they were fat!!!

    Welcome to the unshallow side of the human race.

    heh heh heh.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    So, by getting fit are we, "asking for it?"

    He put his hands on her, that is NEVER to be expected. No matter what.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    It's amazing how you get hit on AFTER you lose weight.. and unfortunately I've had that problem.. If it's somebody who has known me at my worst, then I tell them they can f*** off, because if I wasn't good for them then I am not good for them now!

    I've always HATED the Marilyn Monroe quote (and derivatives of) "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    And some people think that just because they got fit that they are attractive.....but really they're even more unattractive than they were when they were fat!!!

    Welcome to the unshallow side of the human race.

    Hey! I think I love you.

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