Severely depressed

Ilovepeppers

I dealt with depression off and on for many years (bad childhood, foster care, homelessness etc) but things got better. I haven't felt depressed for about a few years. Now, out of no where, I'm depressed again. It came on slowly and now it's really bad; I'm tearful and pessimistic and... Well, depressed: absolutely and completely miserable without cause. Id rathert be physically suffering.

Anyhoo, I can't go see a psychiatrist for a few weeks and I am so unhappy right now. It doesn't help that my husband and I had an argument tonight and now we won't be celebrating valentines. I just guess I'm looking to hear that I'm not completely alone and any tips to feel better would really help. I feel guilty for feeling so bad since I have so many things to be grateful for (healthy children, food, roof over head, education) but I seriously can't help it.

scs143

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. A lot of people in my family suffer from depression and it can be very awful. It's hard to dO the things you need to to help yourself out of it when you feel so crappy. Talk to your friends or family about what's bothering you. Maybe see a therapist instead of waiting for the psychiatrist. And if you can, exercise. It will help you feel better.

Ginger4real

You are not alone ..I won't talk in depth here but anytime you would like to chat by P.M I can relate to some of your life story ..I have chronic anxiety and slip into a depressed state from time to time.. I don't let it last too long..(Now that I know what it is and why it happens). There is no magic button but self talk can really bring you around ...Like Pink said ..Change those voices in your head..make them like you instead...PS your F'n perfect ..I am sure many would agree :flowerforyou:

mjf0461

Girl you are so far from being on your own in this. So many of us just live day by day praying we make it thru without a breakdown. It's harder some days than others. You argueing with your husband should not stop you guys from enjoying a night together for V day. Come on someone has to take that step to say I am Sorry...

Get you some really good music or a really uplifting book and spend some time with it...Good Luck girl

BrettPGH

I dealt with depression off and on for many years (bad childhood, foster care, homelessness etc) but things got better. I haven't felt depressed for about a few years. Now, out of no where, I'm depressed again. It came on slowly and now it's really bad; I'm tearful and pessimistic and... Well, depressed: absolutely and completely miserable without cause. Id rathert be physically suffering.

Anyhoo, I can't go see a psychiatrist for a few weeks and I am so unhappy right now. It doesn't help that my husband and I had an argument tonight and now we won't be celebrating valentines. I just guess I'm looking to hear that I'm not completely alone and any tips to feel better would really help. I feel guilty for feeling so bad since I have so many things to be grateful for (healthy children, food, roof over head, education) but I seriously can't help it.

I promise you, you are not alone.

Nothing like a tense, uncomfortable Valentine's day huh? I'm choosing to ignore it.

All I can say is that things will get better. You just gotta hang on until they do.

:flowerforyou:

i_love_vinegar

Im sorry ilovepeppers you are such a sweet girl...I hope u begin to feel better soon

I often go through bouts where I suddenly feel depressed...it's quite awful. Nobody in real life knows this....but when I am single I cry maybe once or twice per week...and its been a year <-< i also cry around once per month (nobody knows about any of these feelings in real life) because i am scared about the future...and there are some things from the past.

I won't go into too many details, but before joining MFP I had a lot of bad things happen and suffered PTSD. Psychiatrists and counselors just made me feel worst...made me feel like a victim. Although I was in many cases, constantly focusing on myself as "The Victim" was not good for my mindset...One thing that helps is having stuff to look forward to that help improve you or your life. Another thing which might come in handy is practicing The Law of Attraction. I think this really helps...it is very difficult to get into when depressed, but it seems to help...Just force yourself to spend at least a few minutes per day on positive thinking. >_< I was getting depressed about my *lack of* social life the beginning of this month, took put The Law of Attraction (The Secret) again, and that same day, 3 people called me asking to hang out. I then found two clubs in my area that I wanted to join, and continued to have people ask to hang out! >_<

Good luck! XO >_< You are a wonderful person~I hope you feel better soon!!

Sh1tsRainbows

you are not alone, sorry about your fight with your boyfriend..maybe make up and still have your vday plans??

lizard053

Depression is an insidious disease. And if someone tells you it's all in your head, tell them Yes! And I can't get it out. It's truly a disease, not just something mental. Do not beat yourself up for feeling depressed. Seek out the help you need now! Your general practitioner can prescribe depression meds, if you can get in there quicker. You need relief now! You can't go several weeks like this, it's just not fair to you!

I'm so sorry things seem to be falling apart for you, and today of all days! You have support. If you need a friend, I'm here! Having dealt with depression all of my adult life (and still fighting with it), I know how difficult it can be. Make yourself a happy space, just for you, and sit in it daily. Decorate, make it girly if you like. It seriously can help your state of mind!

If you want any tricks that I use to get through the rough times, feel free to send a message my way!

MomsTooBig

I dealt with depression off and on for many years (bad childhood, foster care, homelessness etc) but things got better. I haven't felt depressed for about a few years. Now, out of no where, I'm depressed again. It came on slowly and now it's really bad; I'm tearful and pessimistic and... Well, depressed: absolutely and completely miserable without cause. Id rathert be physically suffering.

Anyhoo, I can't go see a psychiatrist for a few weeks and I am so unhappy right now. It doesn't help that my husband and I had an argument tonight and now we won't be celebrating valentines. I just guess I'm looking to hear that I'm not completely alone and any tips to feel better would really help. I feel guilty for feeling so bad since I have so many things to be grateful for (healthy children, food, roof over head, education) but I seriously can't help it.

I'm so sorry you're going through this....especially today.

I have suffered from depression since childhood, and I find now as an adult it's been harder to manage. I applaud you for taking control and acknowledging you are feeling bad again and are going to seek help! That's really really good. Most people ignore it and hope it will just go away....they choose not to deal with it.

As far as getting through today goes, my best recommendation is to keep busy. Is it possible for you to go out and enjoy sometime for yourself? Lunch or even a coffee out...a manicure/pedicure......a swim at the local pool?

I'm not sure how bad the argument was, but try to plan a nice meal for tonight, a movie perhaps? A nice bubble bath is always comforting ;0)

There is a group here on MFP dedicated to mental support. Between the support on the main forums and the group, hopefully it will help you get through until the appointment (and beyond )

You have lots of support on here dear,....you're not alone
:flowerforyou:

findingfit23

Im sorry you are feeling so down. You are not alone.
Try to get outside for some fresh air and a walk. I know sometimes its extra hard to get moving, but it will feel better in the end, I promise :flowerforyou:

jwaitman

You are not alone. I think there are more people suffering from depression than we realize. I am having problems with it myself right now. Check with your medical insurance company to see if they offer any kind of employee assistance program that may give you some one to at least talk to until you can get in for an appointment.

Captain_Tightpants

You are far far from alone. I was diagnosed with depression and GAD a couple of years back and I deeply sympathize with what you're going through.

Hitting the gym has really been helping me. There's something about that rush of endorphins that knocks the black cloud aside for a little bit.

Making up with your hubby, even if it was totally his fault, will clear the air a bit too. You could ask him if you guys could put aside the argument just for tonight (continue it tomorrow if you like) and go out for a nice meal. I know when my wife and I argue there's always that sick feeling in the air until one of us is big enough to take the high road and try to make up.

Have you got a mantra? There's a few nice ones that I use:

Every day above ground is a good day.

It's always okay in the end, and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Worse things happen at sea y'know (a bit of Monty Python always helps matters)

PM me if you just need to vent. I'd be happy to listen.

Chin up!

jodieh06

was reading through this and all i could notice was that you've lost 71lbs so far! maybe keeping your eye on your goal could take your mind off it a little bit, i hear exercise is meant to make you smile?

we're all here for you if you ever wanna talk, keep strong xxx

vzucco

Don't feel guilty. You're not alone. Talk to your husband and tell him you need some support right now. Hang in there until you can go to a doctor. Try to do things that make you happy, like playing with your kids. It'll be okay.

A_New_Horizon

I have been dealing ith depression since June (I am clinically depressed). I am currently on anti-depressants (celexa 40 mg) because I became suicidal. You are more than welcome to ready my blogs about everything - I find that writing gets it out. I didn't have a bad childhood, but I did have a horrible marriage (currently working on a divorce). Life just doesn't seem to be letting up anytime soon. I found out that about 10% of Americans are depressed - it is a very common thing. I felt crazy when I became suicidal, but I found out it was totally normal due to my circumstances. If you want to talk, feel free to PM me. I totally understand the feeling.

JizWiz

I am going through a rough time as well. Try to focus on you and look and the mirror and tell yourself "YOU ARE STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL AND THIS TO SHALL PASS!" I know it's easier said then done but "He" doesnt put anything on us that we can't bare-Hugs and prayers go out to you:flowerforyou:

jenniebean1680

I deal w/ depression as well. The only things that work for me are consistent exercise (really pushing myself for a good sweat), lots of Vitamin D (5000 IU/day), and sometimes Prozac for a few months if I feel myself really having to fight to care about things or handle daily life.

You most certainly are NOT alone. I'm sorry to hear about the fight w/ DH. It's none of my business, but why not try to celebrate V-day anyway? Fights happen... I dunno. Maybe it would help you guys get past it and move on? Again, I know nothing about your relationship, but I feel like V-day should be to celebrate ALL of a relationship, not just the times when it's going well. Because there are bad times too!

Anyway, try to keep your chin up and take care of yourself. Even a walk outside in the cold, with nice deep breaths, can help. Again, you're not alone!

Riles911

You are far from alone in this struggle! Personally, I have been suffering from depression since I was 12 years old, but I've always been able to stuff it away, at least until recently. Now, I'm finally starting to deal with issues that I never dealt with before. You're going to be okay, and things will get better. I'll keep you in my prayers!!

Annette_rose

I very much understand where you are coming from. I just went through a divorce that broke my heart and I have literelly been on my knees crying, sobbing, etc. Just getting out from under the covers each day has been a challenge. This has been going on for several months. I did go ahead and get a prescription for Prozac. Some might tell you that you shouldn't do that, but there are times when the chemicals in the body do get a bit out of whack and we need something to help us through at times. I just want you to know you are not alone and I do believe in Prayer and I will be praying for you.

reddcat

Sending positive vibes and virtual hugs your way. No great words of wisdom......just support. Thinking of you!

UsedToBeHusky

I am sorry that you have been feeling this way. I really think that you need to try and put aside whatever differences you have with your husband and spend some time with him this evening. Even if it is nothing more than a shoulder rub, try to show him that you appreciate him, and hopefully, he can show you some appreciation in return. You can't let depression interfere with your personal life because that is when it gets the best of you.

ks_mommaof5

Though many have already said it, it's worth saying again - YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Having endured depression for years myself, I know all too well the "shame spiral" ... you feel unbalanced and sad without measure ... leading you to feel guilty for feeling bad ... adding shame to an already dangerous cocktail.

What I can tell you from experience is this: this too shall pass. Please, please, please reach out for help - is there any way at all to avoid waiting for weeks to see a doctor? Medications, if you choose to go that route, take time to build up in your system and sooner is definitely the key to feeling better.

Give yourself credit for having the courage to acknowledge how you feel right now. It's not easy to do.

I wish I could waive a magic wand and remove all the sadness ... in the absence of that know that I'll be thinking of you today.

w2bab

I too, have suffered from severe, chronic depression since I was a child. Good for you for opening up about it and asking for support. I didn't do that until I was in my early 40s. You definitely are not alone. Exercise doesn't always make me feel any better, but it doesn't make me feel any worse so even when I'm in the depths of a depression, I exercise anyway. It does get better. You know from past experience that it does. And when it does you'll feel better if you've stuck with your fitness plan.

Friend me if you want. Maybe we'll get our own group of fat folks battling depression.

Z_I_L_L_A

I have dealt with depression and the best cure for me was workout. It relieved my stress and released endorphins.

StrongGwen

I UNDERSTAND TOO! especially you are mad at yourself/guilty because you're depressed for no reason, and you can't just "snap out of it." this is where you accept that you are depressed but also that you DO NOT have to also be self-destructive! If you can force yourself to at least get outside and walk, that can help. maybe it won't lift your mood right away, but it also won't make you feel worse. You will NEVER regret exercise but you will often regret not working out. Science has shown a lot of times that regular exercise is as effective in some depression as meds. So maybe you walk and cry (been there too) but at least you're out of the house.

I have used the over-the-counter herbal supplement St Johns Wort for depression when I did not have presecription medications. I'm not a doctor but I can say it works for me. The over-the-counter supplement Sam-E can also help, but it is kind of expensive.

Sooner or later the cloud will lift, the color will come back into the world, and you will feel like yourself again. That's hard to remember when you are so down, but you can get thru this--you've survived it before, right? good luck!

tiptoeketo

You are NOT alone. The last thing that you probably want to do is exercise, but getting outside for a quick walk will really help. Take care of yourself- long baths, healthy foods, naps if you need them. I hope you start feeling better soon and that your appointment goes well. :flowerforyou:

Jacquibennett

You are not alone at all!
I've suffered with depression on and off for about 6 years and I know how hard it can be to just get out of bed in the morning. I also know how easy it is to take it out on those nearest and dearest to you. Have had many an argument with my boyfriend because I've been feeling low and fed up.

If you ever need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm always happy to listen!

Hope you feel better soon. Sending out good vibes!

TinaDay1114

Like so many above me have said, you are NOT alone. We've got a long family history of depression, but until my cousin and I sought help, no one would admit to it. Anti-depressants have helped me tremendously, and lots of therapy over the years, to work through everything. It gets better -- but you're right, there will still be some moments when it drags you under for a time.

If it's really really bad right now, can you go see someone before those 3 weeks??? Any good therapist or doc will make room for you if you are in really bad place. Just call.

Hang in there...you are definitely not alone.

lorro

I bet with your experience of this illness you know what works for you. The problem is finding the motivation to do it. Don't wait for the motivation to arrive, you know it won't. Do it anyway - what have you got to lose? Some/all of the following usually helps:

Exercise
Stop/tune out the self critic - distract yourself
See people who care about you, even if you don't feel like it
Make time for yourself and the things you enjoy doing/used to enjoy doing, even if you don't feel like you will enjoy them again.

You know from experience that the feeling that things will be this way forever is not true. Start acting in accordance with that knowledge and you'll soon begin to feel more like the person who once had the courage to change her life and will do so again.

amberina812

You're definitely not alone. I too had an argument with my husband the other night...but we don't really do V-Day anyways. I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. Do you think it may be seasonal? I live in Maine and I notice that as soon as the cold hits I'm depressed for no apparent reason and then everything seems to crash down around me and I get to a point where it feels like it'll never get better. I am finding that if I get on the treadmill and listen to loud music for 30 minutes I feel better. Feel free to add me if you want to chat I hope your day gets better!!

love22step

Sorry you're in the dumps, and that you had a falling out with your husband. Don't let that stop you from fixing him a nice dinner and doing something special for him. Your depression is tough on him, too. My husband went through depression for about 4 years, and that had me mildly depressed, as well. For him, getting a better pain medication and getting off the mood altering drugs improved his feelings of well-being and helped him get back into the workforce. The depressed person is not the only one who suffers in a relationship. It's no one's fault; it's just a fact of life. I pray God will bless you both and lift you up.