Is taking my own pancake mix too far?

MattGetsMad

I take food with me anytime I am going to be away from the house for awhile. It is just easier for me that way. I do not let social convention dictate what I eat.

I think if you want to stay in control over what you decide to consume you are well within your right.

Good luck to you op! Good luck to the rest of you guys too!

princeza9

I've had pancake parties before. Though this hasn't come up, I imagine I'd feel offended if someone else brought pancake mix and expected me to use it. I'd do it just not to compound rudeness, but I would think twice about inviting them again. Unless they were a very good friend, and then I'd already know anyway. My friends have always brought juice or fruit to my pancake parties, that's fine. That's my suggestion.

And anyway, enjoying pancakes/pizza and friends every so often is good for you as long as you don't go overboard. Friends are relaxing, and help you deal with stress.

My $.02 anyway.

77tes

Get a good workout in before the party; then enjoy! Just don't go crazy.

galegetsthin

I think that is a bit too far. It could possibly offend the hostess, it will make people less likely to invite you in the future. Suggest bringing something else healthy that everyone can enjoy. Ask her if she wants you to bring the pancake mix for everyone, then make everyones healthier (bring some tasty syrups for people who want it not as healthy), or ask if its ok to bring one (or chip in for) pizza that is healthier...... light cheese, thin crust, veggie pizza. OR........ just have a little of what is provided, and accomodate for it tomorrow. Part of being healthy is being mentally, emotionally AND physically healthy. You cant push others away for a few silly calories.

HeidiRene

Please take your own pancake mix!!! It is sad that we don't feel worthy enough to take care of ourselves. If the hostess is your friend she should support you. You are not asking her to buy/make something different - you are bringing it. Many people care about what they put in their bodies and that is OK. I don't eat trans fat and I have had to have uncomfortable conversations with well meaning people who try to feed me their version of healthy foods that have trans fat and other undesirable ingredients. Maybe you can inspire others to eat well. People should not apologize for being vegetarian, eating healthy or eating less than others. Good luck to you and be proud of you pancake mix!

JillyCornwall

OMG you are 19..19......pancakes are about 100 cals each....a pretty young lass of 19 can dance a 100 calories off in no time...and at 19 I could think of other ways to burn a few 100 calories off too...go to your party & enjoy it...OMG I so wish i was 19 again..i would not waste one opportunity to enjoy myself.....

MrsCon40

If someone showed up to a party with their own food, I would think they were weird and rude.

Exactly. This is not being a gracious guest.

Did they spring this party on you after lunch time? No? Then you should have planned your day to include 2 slices of pizza for dinner.

Besides, you said you were going to eat in advance. Why do you need to eat there then? It would be perfectly ok and much preferable to say, "I was dying of hunger and my preparty snack turned into a HUGE meal and now I'm stuffed. Can I help you flip some flapjacks for everyone else, or maybe help you with these dishes?"

paigemarie93

Having one a slice of pizza & a pancake today wont do you any harm. :] enjoy yourself!

fabulousby45

I think everyone is right. Enjoy, eat in moderation and just get in some exercise!! If I denied myself pizza, well let's just say, I wouldn't be a happy girl!!

FitLink

I've been invited to my friends house tonight for pizza and pancakes. There's about 15 of us going, and i'm going to eat before i go so hopefully i don't eat any pizza, but i don't want to let food get in the way of me having a good time so am going to allow myself some pancakes. I've seen a few low cal recipes on the message boards on MFP, but i don't know whether taking my own pancake mix is too far. I don't have that much to lose, so the few extra calories could prevent me from losing any if i didn't take my own, but this also means i always have people telling me i don't need to lose weight - what would you do in this situation? Either way it's going to be a big test of my self control!

In a choice between pizza and pancakes, you decided pancakes was healthier?

Yes, I think taking your pancake mix is too much, as is eating before you go. Eat a piece of pizza, maybe even two, (avoid the pancakes) have something no-calorie for a beverage and enjoy yourself. It's all but impossible for you to gain actual weight in one day, so just just relax and enjoy life a little.

JustLena75

Yes, it's too far. Get a grip. One pancake and a sliver of pizza are not going to wreck your journey. I've worked long and hard to have a good relationship with food. There are going to be times you are going to be faced with not having 'your' food at your disposa. You cannot live in a bubble. Enjoy the party! If you are that stressed about it, maybe you should rethink even going.

RachelT14

OMG you are 19..19......pancakes are about 100 cals each....a pretty young lass of 19 can dance a 100 calories off in no time...and at 19 I could think of other ways to burn a few 100 calories off too...go to your party & enjoy it...OMG I so wish i was 19 again..i would not waste one opportunity to enjoy myself.....

For some reason i really like this

HeidiRene

I am clearly in the minority here but I truly hope you take your own pancake mix...or get new friends if they are going to find you rude for caring about what you eat! Ok, I am kidding about ditching your friends but SERIOUSLY, there is nothing rude about eating what is best for you. Honestly, any host that would make you feel bad about it is a rude host.

HotBodUnderConstruction

Just exercise and save enough calories so that you can enjoy some pizza & pancakes. Honestly, I wouldn't bring my own food.

nahralynn

I'm on the rude side. You shouldn't expect the world to stop because you are on a diet. However, as a lifestyle you can make better choices for YOURSELF. If pizza and pancakes aren't something you want to eat at all then either don't go to the party since that is the theme, or go and have fun but eat something before hand that fits into your diet. If you don't have any serious issues with those types of food and you are just watching the calories do what others have said and eat healthily through your day and exercise and plan around that meal. Have a small piece of pizza and one or two of the smallest pancakes you can find. It is not the responsibility, friend or not, to cater to one person in the group. They are holding the party, offering the food, offering their home, and they don't need the added stress of worrying about whether the guests need vegan, low cal, gluten free, dairy free, or whatever free. It's the guests responsibility to figure out their own nutritional needs and respond accordingly. I think it's acceptable to go for the party/friends and not the food.

RachelT14

, but i don't want to let food get in the way of me having a good time

I know it is tough sometimes on the weight loss journey but you are already letting food get in the way of you having a good time by feeling the need to take your own pancake mix to a party, eat in moderation and allow yourself to enjoy the food and the company.

killagb

Just enjoy yourself. Assuming you don't do this all the time, it's really not even worth considering to indulge the rare times you have these things come up. If you want your friends to REALLY think you're a diet freak, bring the mix and be THAT person.

pf3100

I say happiness is the most important thing in life.So LIVE W/ your food or theres. whatever makes you
comfortable //most people don't care anyway.......

FitLink

Premake your pancakes & put them in a baggy. Then sneak them on your plate while everyone else is getting some. JK...

Honestly, I dont see anything wrong with that!! Premake your batter and if yall are cooking them up @ the shing dig, then throw yours on the griddle and offer them to anyone else. Call the hostess and ask if she cares. This is no different than a recovering alcoholic requesting non-alcoholic drinks as an option, or a vegetarian asking for no meat options.

No, it's not. Parties routinely have non-alcohol selections, and being an alcoholic is not like being overweight. The OP admits she's so little overweight people tell her she doesn't need to lose. It is rude to bring your own food. You either eat what's being served or you politely say "No thanks." You don't bring your own food.

MattGetsMad

If you want your friends to REALLY think you're a diet freak, bring the mix and be THAT person.

While our posts were very different, I feel that I should have added this ^

He's absolutely right, I bring food everywhere and I am "that" person. Anyway, good luck to you!

boston6

I would take it but I would make sure I bring enough for anyone who wants some. That way it becomes more of a sharing item rather than you having something different than everyone else.

PS - way to go caddymatt! on the threshold of a 3 digit weight loss.

lynheff

Offer to bring a dish and bring a large, healthy, beautiful salad to share. I have never had anyone refuse that offer! Then have a moderate amount of which ever food you prefer and then fill up on your salad if you are still hungry. That is what I would do.

bigloser85_2012

I agree that you shouldn't have to cut items from your diet HOWEVER...if you feel like at this moment in your journey to a healthier you that you just can't have pizza/regular pancakes then don't. Add those things back later IF you want to add them back. You have to do what you need to do to make sure you stay on the right path. And I think that includes handling the evening however makes you feel the best about what you've eaten by the time you go home. You're the one that has to live with the guilt if you think you made bad decision so don't let any of us on here dictate what you do tonight. It's ALL ABOUT YOU and that's ok! Take what you want, eat what they have and exercise the extra calories off for the day, compensate tomorrow...you have many options but pick the option that works for you.

If this is a true friend they will completely understand and support you on your decision. I can't think of a single one of my friends that would think I was being rude or ungracious by bringing something that I felt I needed to stay on track and reach my goal. I would however do what someone else suggested and make a little extra...you never know...maybe you can motivate or inspire someone else who is having issues with health and/or weight. I make/take lots of special things for ME when I go to parties. My favorite thing to take to parties are diet soda cake/cupcakes. (Use one box of cake mix and 12 ounces of diet soda and bake as directed on the box! YUMMY!! My favorite is chocolate cake mix with Diet Coke but I've heard vanilla cake mix with Diet Cherry Sprite/7Up or Diet Orange soda is fabulous as well.) Anyway...got off track talking about sweets (imagine that)...do what makes you feel best and keeps you on track. Any friend should understand that and if they think you're being rude on ungracious maybe you should think twice about exactly what kind of friend they are to you.

Good luck with your decision. You should not feel guilty about whatever decision it is though.

mhankosk

Listen... If I were hosting a party and I had a friend coming over that I knew was trying to lose weight and she brought her own mix, I would say :"awesome and can I try some" Call her before and make sure its ok, tho. Good luck!

littlelily613

If I were hosting a party, I would have to say I would be offended if someone brought there own version of what I was preparing. I certainly wouldn't mind if someone wanted to bring, say, a veggie tray to share with the whole party. That would be different, it would be a nice gesture even if it is partly for your own benefit. But taking your own pancake mix is kind of like saying, "yours isn't good enough. I want you to cook mine." I definitely wouldn't do it, and I would not appreciate my own guests doing it either. I think you should just have a pancake or two (that is NOT going to sabotage all your work, you just might not lose that day). If you don't want her pancakes, then maybe do the veggie tray option (or something similar), but offer it as a gift for everyone to enjoy--and leave any leftovers for the hostess unless she doesn't want them.

Edit: after reading some other posts about people saying you should take it, you should also remember that if you take your own mix, SOMEONE has to cook it. And they would have to cook it separately from the regular pancakes, which means the hostess will be spending more time over the stove, and less time at her own party. I think she will certainly understand your desire to lose weight, but I also think it is important to think of her to--it is her party afterall.

MattGetsMad

Listen... If I were hosting a party and I had a friend coming over that I knew was trying to lose weight and she brought her own mix, I would say :"awesome and can I try some" Call her before and make sure its ok, tho. Good luck!

^supportive friend alert

When you find one these you have to keep them forever!!!

ShellBelle6

Sounds like a fun party! Pizza & Pancakes!? YUM!!! I wanna come too!!

RAFValentina

Too farr... the point of pancake day is to use up all the consumables in the house pre-fasting for lent. So one day will not harm you, enjoy it, get it out of your system, don;t annoy your host or make anyone or yourself feel uncomfortable, eat fewer and better toppings if you're still concerned and work hard during lent.

beckylawrence70

Why can't you eat anything you want in moderation? And yes, taking your own mix would be a little strange........

dizsolvedgirl

Why not bring a "hostess" gift instead. A nice bowl of fresh strawberries and blueberries and some other fruit for people to sprinkle on their pancakes.

This way you are not being insulting to the hostess by bringing your own food and if you're still nibbly the berries are fairly low in calories.

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