Sorry, I don't cook. Deal with it.

jared767

I hate cooking. Sorry, to offend any fabulous cookers. But I was not given the gift. I don't make fantastic creations. I make a giant mess and then eat a mediocre high calorie dinner with my dumbass husband who doesn't even like what I've made 99% of the time and always critics it!


I really hate cooking.

LMAO!!! You can tell you hate to cook when you called people that cook, cookers. I think they are normally called cooks.

lol! I love this thread

elenathegreat

I "know" the OP, in as much as she is on my friend's list and is a very valued one at that as she is very funny. Her posts are usually dripping with sarcasm and make a refreshing change from the posts about different ways of cooking celery, water retention or the weight of muscle versus fat etc. I'm also a sarcastic SOB and I also kid on with my fiancee all the time. This morning I told her to "shut the hell up with her opinions and get back in the kitchen and make me a coffee" and she told me "something unprintable with Anglo Saxon in it". We both said these things smiling and laughed afterwards and kissed each other bye. Like the OP we have a great relationship as we have a lot of humour in our lives, you need to have to get through this nut house we call an Earth.

So, people need to read the OP with that in mind. She's a nice lass with what appears to be a great relationship and she is a lot of fun.

As for the actual topic, I am a better cook than my fiancee and I enjoy cooking. I wanted to be a chef once. However, since we met, she's put on weight (go figure) and that brought her here. Like the OP's partner, I'm trying to put on weight (as I'm as fat as an anorexic racing snake) which means that increasingly we're eating seperate meals. I cook for me and her son and she... eats a celery stick...her eyes boring into the pile of calories stacked onto my plate. She seems happy I know I am

So anyways, we're all different and what works for us doesnt work for everyone else. I'd personally hate one of those sickly loving relationships where I couldnt call my lass an "argumentative pain in the *kitten*" and not expect to duck in order to avoid her punch.

Anyway, I'm off back into the kitchen, my lass has discovered I escaped!

PS I just remembered I forgot the kiss goodbye today... God am I ever dead! :S

Thanks for that insight...OP should thank you too, as it will improve opinions in general...still not getting involved though reading suggestions and opinions with interests....gave up computer games for LENT and this is all I have left...:ohwell:

elenathegreat

I fold laundry like a mo-fo. Does that count as a kind of love? I got mad skillz with an iron too. I love ironin. I iron his shirts, pants, sometimes his boxers, our bed sheets, heck, I've even ironed socks. I'm crazy borderline autistic with an iron.

You are redeemed in my book...I would cook three meals a day for you if you took over the laundry and ironing...

elenathegreat

I heard women's feet are smaller so they can stand closer to the stove. Confirm or deny?

DENY its so we can look fabulous in as many pairs of SHOES as we can afford

ccb1128

I'm not going to say you're right. I'm not going to say he's right. I think calling him a dumbass on here because he wants to have a meal together is highly immature & disrespectful. Just because you two chat most of the day doesn't mean that you can't have a meal together? What's wrong with spending a little time together? That's kind of part of a relationship, in my opinion. My fiance eats a way higher calorie diet than I, but we generally have the same meals - I'll have a smaller portion, or occasionally substitute something healthier in for myself. It's not that difficult, really. I'm also not the greatest cook ever, I just try to give it an attempt. Sometimes I completely fail, sometimes I end up making a tasty dinner. It's just fun to experiment sometimes, learn new things. Also, YOU don't have to be the one doing all the cooking...Your hubby could cook a few nights a week, you could cook a few nights, you BOTH could cook a few meals together. I would never get on here & bash my significant other in this way...Maybe try to use some of these suggestions, instead of being disrespectful.

Sorry you think I'm being disrespectful, but you obviously don't know us and should not be judging my relationship. Our marriage is solid. We are very crass and playful with each other and our 17 years together is nothing to sneeze at. I'm venting, I'm frustrated. It happens to the best of us in the best of relationships. So gimme a break, I'm not here to defend my relationship. And certainly don't think I'm being immature. If you can't call you significant other a turd or a dumbass once in a while then you need to lighten up.

Of course she doesn't know a thing about your relationship. How would she? All she knows is that you're calling your own husband a turd and a dumbass. Sounds pretty disrespectful to me too. Regardless, if you don't want to cook, then don't cook. Sounds like this has been the norm in your household for 17 years. What's a few more?

dovesgate

OP, you said your husband comes from not one but two families in which the women make really nice meals every day. I think he probably equates those kinds of meal with love. No, it isn't fair to you after 17 years to suddenly change - but you said he's been asking this for many of those 17 years so the "17 years - not fair" arguement doesn't hold weight. If he's been asking for so long, it is obviously pretty important to him.

I understand that you don't want to change especially when he starts nitpicking the food you make him. I suggest a compromise. A non-cooking compromise which is win-win for both of you.

At the grocery store, there are many, many new convenience foods. Mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese now come in microwavable tubs. You can get pot roast with gravy in a microwavable tub and ribs come pre-bbq'ed so all you have to do is heat it up just like your food. There would be plenty of leftovers left for him to eat for another day or so (depending on how much he eats).

Win-win. He gets the huge meal he likes and you don't have to extend any more effort than opening a package and pressing buttons on the microwave.

jellyfishbones

OP wrote:

We both DO cook... for ourselves. He doesn't like it though. And I prefer it that way.

What about cooking together? Or taking a class together?

I work FT and cook just about every night, but I love cooking, which was NOT always the case. It didn't come easily - there is definitely a learning curve - but I kept at it and not to brag but I'm pretty dang good at it now. I noticed on your profile that you said you like spicy stuff and foods from different cultures - my husband is Vietnamese and I cook Vietnamese food *all the time* and it is so easy (and fast!) once you get a few of the basics down. Not saying I'm as good as my MIL by any means, but I take notes from her whenever I can.

I *do* think that it's bunk if your husband wants you to cook because he has some notion of cooking as 'your job' or because he's being lazy. If you get along well otherwise, though, it's worth it to figure out some kind of compromise so that you don't feel he's placing unrealistic expectations on you and he has his needs/desires for eating together met.

I understand that kids aren't (and might never be) a part of your life, but maybe your husband's desire for a 'family meal' is an expression of his feelings about infertility. If he always imagined family dinners as part of his married life and the lack of children is one of the reasons you don't sit down and eat together, his desire that you eat together may be one of the things he needs to get past any disappointment or lingering feelings about your fertility issues.

Of course I could be completely, entirely off base, but looking at your profile after reading your post makes me wonder where his desire for family dinners is coming from, and since you never were a cook in all the years you've been together, it seems that there's something below the surface that's driving his behavior. It could be plain ol' chauvinism, too, but IMO it's worth trying to meet each other halfway if you are happy together more often than not.

Edited to add: I haven't read the whole thread, just replied to your original post, so my apologies if I've mentioned something you've already covered elsewhere.

star87cc

I love to cook and I only learnt by throwing stuff together and learning from others, I work very long days so dont always feel up to it (but then I dont always feel up to the gym but I still remind myself its good for me)... my fiance and I talked about it and he doesnt like cooking but I try to get him involved, even if its just stirring a sauce so I have a free pair of hands. Plus he has a day off during the week while I work so we agreed it only fair he gives cooking a go then

jellyfishbones

I fold laundry like a mo-fo. Does that count as a kind of love? I got mad skillz with an iron too. I love ironin. I iron his shirts, pants, sometimes his boxers, our bed sheets, heck, I've even ironed socks. I'm crazy borderline autistic with an iron.

@Elenathegreat: Would you be in the market for a sisterwife, by any chance? I am in the remedial ironing class and I may flunk out (again).

zoodalia

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.
[/quote]

I agree. In fact, you sound like an insolent child - 'I don't cook, deal with it'. Oh, and if you spoke about me the way you speak about him, I wouldn't cook for you either.

sms1986

I agree. In fact, you sound like an insolent child - 'I don't cook, deal with it'. Oh, and if you spoke about me the way you speak about him, I wouldn't cook for you either.

Why is that insolent? Would it be insolent if he said that to her?

He also calls her names, it's not one-way traffic.

sfh0wrd

Okay. I have read the word "cook" way too many times in this thread. It doesn't even look right anymore.

cook cook cook cook cook cook cook cook.... eeps!

I love cooking, so I realy don't mind cooking 90% of the time. But still, he eats whatever I put in front of him. If he's not thrilled with what I decided to cook, then he knows where the peanut butter is.

I hate cleaning. My husband knew before we got married that I don't like cleaning. But I acknowledge that cleaning has to be done, so now it's just a joke. "I may clean, but I'm not going to be happy about it." And, I'm lucky enough that my husband doesn't mind doing most of the laundry and helping keep the house straightened.

psposey

Wifey doesn't like to cook but when she does it is fabulous. She doesn't like taking the time to prep and then clean up. I like to cook but family prefers the basics and I like to spice things up a bit. I have suggested on many occasions each of us take one night to make dinner. My son likes to cook and between jobs/school has chipped in. 16 year old daughter NEEDS to learn but has zero interest in learning. Wife can cook, just doesn't like the hassle.

Am I so bad a Father to ask everyone to chip in and cook 1 meal a week???

zoodalia

I agree. In fact, you sound like an insolent child - 'I don't cook, deal with it'. Oh, and if you spoke about me the way you speak about him, I wouldn't cook for you either.

Why is that insolent? Would it be insolent if he said that to her?

He also calls her names, it's not one-way traffic.

Tit for tat isn't my style.

jimmie25

he just hasnt arrived in this century yet.

DannyMussels

ITT Marriage is a one-way street.

lol

Carrot1971

If this is the biggest issue in your marriage I'd say you are doing something right!! Why fix whats not broken? haha

rml_16

@muffintopminx
hey! yes, you both should cook!

but one question..,, you never cook - so what do you eat?? Oo
only canned food, pizza etc? or do you always go out to eat?

i'm just interested. i'm wondering what you both eat all the time without cooking...

You can eat very healthy and whole without cooking. One of my go-to favorite meals is caprese salad. Takes five minutes to put together, no cooking involved. You slice a tomato, slice some cheese, tear apart some fresh basil and pour olive oil and vinegar.

This assumption than one must be a gourmet cook or something to eat healthy and not eat canned food is uninformed and lacking in creativity.

I do like to cook, but the boyfriend and I have very different tastes. I make mine, he makes his. Every once in a while, one of us makes a meal for both of us, but neither of us expects that. It's never been an issue.

TimWilkinson101

I agree. In fact, you sound like an insolent child - 'I don't cook, deal with it'. Oh, and if you spoke about me the way you speak about him, I wouldn't cook for you either.

Why is that insolent? Would it be insolent if he said that to her?

He also calls her names, it's not one-way traffic.

Tit for tat isn't my style.

But calling someone an insolent child when you've quite clearly not read all the relevant posts so dont know the whole story, obviously is...

I've found with forums that its very easy for people to get into name calling. Something about the anonymity of it all I guess.

taranew21

He is being a turd! Tell him to get some indipendance