Sorry, I don't cook. Deal with it.

nikkifk

I work more than full time but most days I still cook for the family. But then, I love to cook and find it very relaxing. If you hate cooking and you eat very different diets, there's nothing wrong with cooking separately.

zoodalia

I agree. In fact, you sound like an insolent child - 'I don't cook, deal with it'. Oh, and if you spoke about me the way you speak about him, I wouldn't cook for you either.

Why is that insolent? Would it be insolent if he said that to her?

He also calls her names, it's not one-way traffic.

Tit for tat isn't my style.

But calling someone an insolent child when you've quite clearly not read all the relevant posts so dont know the whole story, obviously is...

I've found with forums that its very easy for people to get into name calling. Something about the anonymity of it all I guess.

Insolent child isn't name calling - - - it's using adjectives to describe what I see. An example of name calling would be using words like 'dumbass' and 'turd'. Both of which I find rather disrespectful. I also think that a marriage involves compromise and I see very little of it in the OP.

Everyone has different opinions regarding the original post, and as a question was asked, I have a right to respond like everyone else.

TiltingAtWindmills

I'm with you on this one. He knew you didn't cook and is therefore not entitled to try to force you to change. That's ridiculous and unfair!! That said, marriage does require compromise (darn!). Since food/cooking sounds like this is a constant source of strain, so you'll need to reach an agreement that you can both life with so the annoyance can end. You don't have to change, you just have to decide together how to work this. You could agree to fend for yourselves all the time, budget a cook-together night (or if you can't agree on even one meal, an eat out night) once per week to feel more connected, or agree to each cook 2 or 3 specific days per week as a division of labor compromise. (Now, he'd have to agree to shut up an eat whatever you made because it's the best you can do an you tried! Of course that would go both ways, so be ready for it). I wish you the best of luck... you'll be so much happier if you can get him to stop trying to change you and to work out something that fits both of your needs.

Halochic

Tell him to fend for himself. I used to cook for my ex, wanting to eat a nice meal together, and he would say "he wasn't hungry". He told me if I was hungry, to make things myself since I had 2 hands. I say every person for themselves! That way both people can get what they nutritionally want/need.

monocot

He's being a turd. but at least he's feeding himself.
I tried doing 3 days and my bf the other.
But he refused to cook. and if i forced him. He'd go buy kfc or mcdonalds so I told him he had fend for himself. Then that night at bedtime as we lay waiting for the sleep to take over. I'd listen to his growling stomach. I'd ask what he ate that day. And it was usually crackers, or some chips. or if he was feeling rich, mcdonalds. Not even 3 meals. Just one meal early in the day then he just left it at that.

Val_from_OH

I think a compromise is in order here. Your husband wants to have dinner with you, and as long as he is willing to share some of the cooking load, you should be willing to also. I'm sure you would not be okay with him saying something like: "I don't pick up after myself. I was a slob before I met you and I am a slob now, so if you want the clothes off the floor, you will have to pick them up yourself".
For this to work though, he has to quit critiquing what you make. Tell him that you are trying to gain confidence in your cooking and that he needs to support that.

KimmieBrie

I'd tell him to never complain about what you cook if he wants you to cook for him - otherwise he can keep fending for himself.
My mom used to complain about literally EVERY meal my dad cooked, it made me cringe. He cooked often, she should have been appreciative instead of a whiney b*atch. Constructive criticism is not complaining - there's a difference... I wouldn't say OMG I love this it's so good when it wasn't - otherwise I'd probably have that same dish I was Eh about made for me over and over lol.

I work FT. My husband works FT. I get home first so I mostly cook. I cook what I want and make enough for him. If he doesn't like it he's free to make his own meal and he doesn't complain. If I don't like what he cooked I'll modify it or eat something else - no big deal.

eve7166

Have you tried atleast cooking meals on a saturday or sunday (or a day you dont work) and having a family meal night? It might not be an everyday thing but he gets his home cooked meal and family time and you only have to do it once a week when your not too tired. Plus it will be a nice break from the usual.

You can try and call his mom or step mom for some reciepes or look them up online.. or go on reciepes.com... you can also some of the stuff you like to eat with some stuff he likes so you can both share.

TheAnie

I hate cooking and was lucky enough to marry into a family where the women don't cook. :laugh: My husbands mother is a terrible cook so his father always did the cooking. That being said I am quite capable in the kitchen when I need to be. When my husband and I cook we do so together. We decide on something we will both eat and then we both go into the kitchen. He does the majority of the cooking and I do a lot of cleaning and smaller tasks.

Go take a cooking class together. I'm sure you can find stuff you both like and then you will both be capable of cooking it. I'm not saying he is in the right. Or that you are. I'm saying the current situation sounds like it is no longer working and it's time to make changes.

"I'd tell him to never complain about what you cook if he wants you to cook for him - otherwise he can keep fending for himself. "
I also agree with this. If you cook something and he complains then I wouldn't cook either.

MrDude_1

Tit for tat isn't my style.

I did tit for tat ones..
I got what I wanted, and she got a tattoo.