Sorry, I don't cook. Deal with it.

DogsK

I agree, this boy is missing something if he expects you to cook, critiques your cooking and whines like a baby about it. Tell him to grow a .......backbone and take up the call, grab a fry pan a saucepan and start cooking. I am in the other boat. My wife works and then throws together an evening meal. Sometimes home cooked, some times re heat from shop bought produce. Whenever she shops, shes home with an over abundance of chocolates, biscuits, chips. makes it very hard for me. Yet I love cooking especially with herbs and spices and she has literally banned me from cooking cause I don't do things her way. I actually cook the meat, not cremate it. I love adding spices, freshly grown herbs yet these things are taboo on her plate. So go figure, I cook when she is not home (Thank goodness Im a shift worker and get some time to myself) But in answer to your to subject, yeah he's a jerk in my book

DannyMussels

I think calling him names in this thread will help.

Oh, wait.......

Nopedotjpeg

I think calling him names in this thread will help.

Oh, wait.......

I see what you did there!

julie781

He's a turd! lol. I was cracking up and immediately read your post to my turd of a boyfriend!

wftiger

I hate to cook too. Tell him to suck it up and deal.

gnrduff1

I REALLY really REALLY want to be on your side.

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

and starve on the 7th day.

kwest_4_fitness

yes, he is being a turd.

Yep!

MrDude_1

I REALLY really REALLY want to be on your side.

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

and starve on the 7th day.

I thought you were going to suggest Taco Bell for the 7th day.

PixelTreason

He knew you didn't cook when he married you.


My long term BF and I have a deal and it's worked very well for 10+ years.

I clean, he cooks. He does zero cleaning around the house and I only cook when I feel in the mood (very rare! Though I cook things for myself he dislikes; butternut squash, mashed cauliflower, fish).

sms1986

I personally think things like cooking and housework should be shared. When it comes to cooking, the person who didn't cook should clean up afterwards. As for housework, people should tidy up after themselves and everything else divided equally.

There's nothing feminine or masculine about cooking/cleaning, and I don't believe a couple should automatically assume the traditional gender roles (although if both want those roles, there's nothing wrong with that).

YogaPrincess1

Oh, wow!! I loved reading this post. I finally found someone like me!! I hate cooking!! I suck at it. I don't want to do it. And my husband is a turd like yours!! Thank God I work full-time, so he doesn't get on me too much, but I'm scared to retire someday because I think he thinks I'll turn into an instant domestic goddess. NOT!!

nanodot

But... You do cook. You cook for yourself, you just won't cook for him. Coming from a food-is-love-family, that probably hurts him. Absolutely refusing to cook dinner for your mate, ever, is odd. Gender doesn't even have to be an issue here.

Plus, you both come home, every day, and you both have to cook. Sounds very tedious.

What if, one night a week, you cook for both of you, and one night he cooks for both of you? You each get one night off, and you each get to give a present of a nice meal one night a week.

I don't think he's asking you to revert to the 1950's. He's asking for a gift.

_VoV

My husband is the sole breadwinner of our family, and for a long time, I tried cooking like a vegan Martha Stewart--everything made fresh and from scratch. But, it was a major factor in bringing me to a very unhealthy weight.

I still cook quite a lot, but want to stop making rich family favorites every day of the week. Instead, I want to simplify my cooking--soups, light vegetable stews, sandwiches, light stir-fries and curries, frozen faux 'meats' and steamed veggies, etc. These are the foods that allow me to fill my macros and feel full. Some days, when I want to have a super light menu, I encourage my husband and the kids to eat out at a favorite restaurant. My husband resists having to do even a slight amount of food prep at this point. By the way, he too is trying to lose weight.

I NEVER want to go back to cooking/baking rich foods and desserts several times a week. Holidays and birthdays--fine, I'll cook and bake. It's been four months and I think my family is now wondering when things will go back to the way things were--me, spending an average of 4 - 5 hours in the kitchen every day.

I don't know how to deal with the fact that I have changed my 'job description,' but my family doesn't want me to.

sms1986

But... You do cook. You cook for yourself, you just won't cook for him. Coming from a food-is-love-family, that probably hurts him. Absolutely refusing to cook dinner for your mate, ever, is odd. Gender doesn't even have to be an issue here.

Plus, you both come home, every day, and you both have to cook. Sounds very tedious.

What if, one night a week, you cook for both of you, and one night he cooks for both of you? You each get one night off, and you each get to give a present of a nice meal one night a week.

I don't think he's asking you to revert to the 1950's. He's asking for a gift.

The OP says -

"I hate cooking. Sorry, to offend any fabulous cookers. But I was not given the gift. I don't make fantastic creations. I make a giant mess and then eat a mediocre high calorie dinner with my dumbass husband who doesn't even like what I've made 99% of the time and always critics it! "

I think that is relevant to your post.

mmapags

You know I hear you. But I have the opposite problem! I work all day, then I come home and cook dinner for my wife and the kids, help with clean up, spend time talking and conversing with her and then, after all that she expects me to perform in the bedroom!! I'm telling you, it's about as much as a guy can keep up with!

He needs to get over himself after 17 years and realize that he has a wonderful wife and cooking for him is not part of that package. Maybe hold a little funeral for his expectations and get on with all the good stuff in your marriage! You are his wife not his mama.

nanodot

But... You do cook. You cook for yourself, you just won't cook for him. Coming from a food-is-love-family, that probably hurts him. Absolutely refusing to cook dinner for your mate, ever, is odd. Gender doesn't even have to be an issue here.

Plus, you both come home, every day, and you both have to cook. Sounds very tedious.

What if, one night a week, you cook for both of you, and one night he cooks for both of you? You each get one night off, and you each get to give a present of a nice meal one night a week.

I don't think he's asking you to revert to the 1950's. He's asking for a gift.

The OP says -

"I hate cooking. Sorry, to offend any fabulous cookers. But I was not given the gift. I don't make fantastic creations. I make a giant mess and then eat a mediocre high calorie dinner with my dumbass husband who doesn't even like what I've made 99% of the time and always critics it! "

I think that is relevant to your post.

She also said that she cooks curries and things that SHE likes, for him. To give a gift, she should make something that HE likes (which apparently isn't hard). And he should make something that she likes. And also he will have to STFU to make this work. If he can't STFU about her cooking, then he needs to STFU about the topic.

It is also possible to make two dinners! I often make what my fella and I eat, and I make something healthy but different for the kids. She can make him a meat and potatoes dinner and have curry herself; and he can put in some effort and make her a dinner she likes and then eat what he wants. Once a week, why not?

1996gtstang

buy your husband a cookbook lol

30yearssincebikini

I dunno. If it were me, I would just cook for him. Geez how hard is it to make meat and potatoes?

You may this hard to believe, but I work full time and come home and cook a nice meal every night. BUT I enjoy it. That makes a big difference. I have been married three times and my first two were mean controlling jerks and my present husband is really kind to me. I love to feed him (he is skinny, so he can eat anything) to show him I love him. He does the dishes afterward, so it's a give and take.

Also, he just finished painting the bathrooms in the house. He changed the oil in my car and fixed the brakes. He takes care of the lawn, fixes everything, I could go on and on. He doesn't sit on hit butt and do nothing. So for us, this arrangement works. well.

But if you really hate it like you say you do, and apparently he hates it too, or he wouldn't be trying to get you to do it, I think a compromise is in order. Or just eat out a lot. Also, I don't know where you live, but here in Virginia, there is a website called personalcheftogo.com who cooks and deliver gourmet meals weekly. The meals are fresh, not frozen and have no additives or junk in them. I used for a while and it cost about as much as a week's trip to the grocery store! Very much worth it. Good luck.

mmapags

I dunno. If it were me, I would just cook for him. Geez how hard is it to make meat and potatoes?

You may this hard to believe, but I work full time and come home and cook a nice meal every night. BUT I enjoy it. That makes a big difference. I have been married three times and my first two were mean controlling jerks and my present husband is really kind to me. I love to feed him (he is skinny, so he can eat anything) to show him I love him. He does the dishes afterward, so it's a give and take.

Also, he just finished painting the bathrooms in the house. He changed the oil in my car and fixed the brakes. He takes care of the lawn, fixes everything, I could go on and on. He doesn't sit on hit butt and do nothing. So for us, this arrangement works. well.

But if you really hate it like you say you do, and apparently he hates it too, or he wouldn't be trying to get you to do it, I think a compromise is in order. Or just eat out a lot. Also, I don't know where you live, but here in Virginia, there is a website called personalcheftogo.com who cooks and deliver gourmet meals weekly. The meals are fresh, not frozen and have no additives or junk in them. I used for a while and it cost about as much as a week's trip to the grocery store! Very much worth it. Good luck.

What a sweet and appreciative attitude! He's a lucky guy to have you!!

muffintopminx

She also said that she cooks curries and things that SHE likes, for him.

whoa whoa whoa I never said I cook curries. ?!?!?! I said I LIKE Indian cuisine - meaning I BUY frozen Indian dinners, Tandoor Chef Pizzas and get Indian take out. I can't even imagine MAKING curry dishes. But whenever I try to share my cilantro pesto naan pizza with hubby he turns his nose up. I make super super SIMPLE meals for myself. Example: frozen grilled chicken breast that I pop in the microwave and a can of green beans (that's my dinner tonight actually) Or hummus and pita with tomatoes. Or peanut butter on toast. Or I heat up a can of soup. Or I heat up a frozen burger pattie. Pretty sexy stuff, I know.

What my husband wants: Pot Roast, Chicken Fried Steak, Meatloaf, Beef Stroganoff... etc

And maybe my problem is that I overwhelm myself thinking I need to make this stuff from recipes and cookbooks? Maybe I should just buy frozen meatloaf and put it on a pretty plate. Maybe this is the compromise. I honestly haven't tried that yet - bringing the standard of his meal down to my own sub par level. It's a start maybe. Maybe it'll be even worse and he'll give up finally. Worth a go, yeh?