Sorry, I don't cook. Deal with it.

NicolePatriot

I would hope there's some kind of compromise. Maybe you each cook 2 or 3 times a week and then go out the other nights? Or fend for yourselves the other night? Just a suggestion

Oh, there also needs to be a stipulation that he can't complain about what you cook

BarbWhite09

I'm not going to say you're right. I'm not going to say he's right. I think calling him a dumbass on here because he wants to have a meal together is highly immature & disrespectful. Just because you two chat most of the day doesn't mean that you can't have a meal together? What's wrong with spending a little time together? That's kind of part of a relationship, in my opinion. My fiance eats a way higher calorie diet than I, but we generally have the same meals - I'll have a smaller portion, or occasionally substitute something healthier in for myself. It's not that difficult, really. I'm also not the greatest cook ever, I just try to give it an attempt. Sometimes I completely fail, sometimes I end up making a tasty dinner. It's just fun to experiment sometimes, learn new things. Also, YOU don't have to be the one doing all the cooking...Your hubby could cook a few nights a week, you could cook a few nights, you BOTH could cook a few meals together. I would never get on here & bash my significant other in this way...Maybe try to use some of these suggestions, instead of being disrespectful.

ImperfektAngel

I better never be expected to cook! I will if I want to! not that I have to

DMZ_1

This is more of a vent because I'm SO over having the same argument with my husband. I don't cook. I've never cooked. We've been together for 17 years and I have never cooked family meals. I have done it on the rare occasion when I have a wild hair or for a special occasion. But generally we've fended for ourselves in this area because we eat so differently. He's a simple meat and potatoes guy who can eat whatever he wants - in fact he's trying to eat high calorie to GAIN. I eat low calorie stuff that I can just throw together quickly because I have a full time job TOO and I'm just as tired when I get home.

Yet, he thinks it's MY JOB to cook us dinner every night. WHAT??!?!?! Where am I? 1955? When did I mislead him into thinking I was "the little home maker"? NEVER! We don't have kids so I really don't see the point in family dinner since we chat all day long everyday and spend 90% of our free time together.

I hate cooking. Sorry, to offend any fabulous cookers. But I was not given the gift. I don't make fantastic creations. I make a giant mess and then eat a mediocre high calorie dinner with my dumbass husband who doesn't even like what I've made 99% of the time and always critics it!

ps. I like a lot of different flavors and spices (indian, greek, thai, vietnamese...etc) and really spicy food. And he likes mashed potatoes and chicken fried steak.

I don't understand him and obviously he doesn't understand me on this topic. Am I being a bad wife? Or is he living in the dark ages and being kind of a male chauvinist pig?

I love him to death but he's being a turd about this! Right?
Please say I'm right.
Please.
I really hate cooking.

Shouldn't this have been dealt with before marriage?

Here's my view on cooking.....

I don't mind cooking a meal for a woman that I'm in a relationship with. But I don't want to be the primary meal preparer. It is ungratifying.

I hate being responsible for cooking, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. It is a lot to ask. I hope that when I get married, I can trade off some of those responsibilities.

muffintopminx

I'm not going to say you're right. I'm not going to say he's right. I think calling him a dumbass on here because he wants to have a meal together is highly immature & disrespectful. Just because you two chat most of the day doesn't mean that you can't have a meal together? What's wrong with spending a little time together? That's kind of part of a relationship, in my opinion. My fiance eats a way higher calorie diet than I, but we generally have the same meals - I'll have a smaller portion, or occasionally substitute something healthier in for myself. It's not that difficult, really. I'm also not the greatest cook ever, I just try to give it an attempt. Sometimes I completely fail, sometimes I end up making a tasty dinner. It's just fun to experiment sometimes, learn new things. Also, YOU don't have to be the one doing all the cooking...Your hubby could cook a few nights a week, you could cook a few nights, you BOTH could cook a few meals together. I would never get on here & bash my significant other in this way...Maybe try to use some of these suggestions, instead of being disrespectful.

Sorry you think I'm being disrespectful, but you obviously don't know us and should not be judging my relationship. Our marriage is solid. We are very crass and playful with each other and our 17 years together is nothing to sneeze at. I'm venting, I'm frustrated. It happens to the best of us in the best of relationships. So gimme a break, I'm not here to defend my relationship. And certainly don't think I'm being immature. If you can't call you significant other a turd or a dumbass once in a while then you need to lighten up.

lind3400

he is being a turd especially since your both on two completely different diets, theres really nothing u can do cuz either he ends up having to make two ENTIRELY different meals or you do.....OR you can continue to each make your own....makes sense to me why put in all the extra effort so one of you can say "I made dinner tonight" don't know why he doesn't see it!

DyannAlvarez

I hate to cook too, but I try. We do have (his) kids, I stay home (work our own business) so I kinda see it as my "job". And really... I HATE COOKING. I hate having to figure out what to make day in and day out. I HATE that part! But, I do try. He comes from a family where every meal is an "event". I gained most of my weight when I married him! And on top of that, they can cook sooo good. Not me!! Even when I give it my ALL I fall short! He's good nature'd about it though and doesn't nag. I feel ya girl but I'm not taking sides. Good luck with all that!

lind3400

I'm not going to say you're right. I'm not going to say he's right. I think calling him a dumbass on here because he wants to have a meal together is highly immature & disrespectful. Just because you two chat most of the day doesn't mean that you can't have a meal together? What's wrong with spending a little time together? That's kind of part of a relationship, in my opinion. My fiance eats a way higher calorie diet than I, but we generally have the same meals - I'll have a smaller portion, or occasionally substitute something healthier in for myself. It's not that difficult, really. I'm also not the greatest cook ever, I just try to give it an attempt. Sometimes I completely fail, sometimes I end up making a tasty dinner. It's just fun to experiment sometimes, learn new things. Also, YOU don't have to be the one doing all the cooking...Your hubby could cook a few nights a week, you could cook a few nights, you BOTH could cook a few meals together. I would never get on here & bash my significant other in this way...Maybe try to use some of these suggestions, instead of being disrespectful.

Sorry you think I'm being disrespectful, but you obviously don't know us and should not be judging my relationship. Our marriage is solid. We are very crass and playful with each other and our 17 years together is nothing to sneeze at. I'm venting, I'm frustrated. It happens to the best of us in the best of relationships. So gimme a break, I'm not here to defend my relationship. And certainly don't think I'm being immature. If you can't call you significant other a turd or a dumbass once in a while then you need to lighten up.

I call my dad a turd and still respect him....

LalaMicha1

Sing it sista! I despise cooking too, but somehow no one in my family ever starved to death, and my hubby never minded, he hates my cooking

Behavior_Modification

You've been together for 17 years and NOW it is an issue? :huh:

BigDaddyBRC

Do you make him sammiches? Because that's not cooking. That's prepping.

My suggestion...woman up and cook together.

Picola1984

God made women's feet smaller so they could get closer to the cooker

We should be natural born cooks


Lol

iamthevieve

If you were upfront about it, I don't see his issue. It's not like you told him you were going to cook and then didn't. That said, I keep trying to get my husband to cook at least for our 2-1/2 year old son. Half the time I'm not even home before 8 and our son is so used to eating that late that I can't get him to eat anything before then on my days off. He always talks about not eating after 8pm for health reasons and here he is not feeding our kid until 9pm.

Sorry, didn't mean to take over your vent post with my own.

liog

He knew that you didn't cook 17 years ago. I see nothing wrong with fending for yourself at dinner time, especially since you are on different pages when it comes to the food you like and he dislikes what you have made. If he wants home cooked meat and potato meals, buy him a crockpot and a crockpot recipe book. It doesn't take very long to prep in the morning, or the night before and put in the fridge, and then it will be ready when he comes home.

muffintopminx

You've been together for 17 years and NOW it is an issue? :huh:

It's not a recent issue. It's an issue that comes up 2/3 times a year ever since we graduated college. In college, Taco Bell was the cook, right. But his mom cooked (still cooks) big over the top meals for EVERY meal and so does his step mother - they are amazing, truly. And they're making me look bad. ugh.

shrdlicka23

Maybe he just wants you to do something for him. Wasn't there some book about the different kinds of love or something? I don't know. My husband doesn't boss me around but he appreciates when I cook for us because its like I did it for him(I did it cuz I was hungry but he can think whatever he wants lol). Maybe try cooking together. That's always fun! You could do the prep work since you hate the cooking part and he can do the rest.

MrDude_1

wait.
so if he asks you to make him a sandwich... you dont make the damn sandwich?

WTF?

Cakepiebeer

you can atleast make a sandwihc cant you?

iamthevieve

Maybe he just wants you to do something for him. Wasn't there some book about the different kinds of love or something? I don't know. My husband doesn't boss me around but he appreciates when I cook for us because its like I did it for him(I did it cuz I was hungry but he can think whatever he wants lol). Maybe try cooking together. That's always fun! You could do the prep work since you hate the cooking part and he can do the rest.

Yes, "The Five Love Languages"

Texas501

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're right..... What did I win?........lol

hamncheese67

You've been together for 17 years and NOW it is an issue? :huh:

It's not a recent issue. It's an issue that comes up 2/3 times a year ever since we graduated college. In college, Taco Bell was the cook, right. But his mom cooked (still cooks) big over the top meals for EVERY meal and so does his step mother - they are amazing, truly. And they're making me look bad. ugh.

Sounds like you and your husband have a family tradition. So you two should make it a night out and go to Taco Bell every time you have this discussion.

mallory3411

My vote is for turd.

I do a lot of the cooking in my house. I enjoy it for the most part and when my hubby and I moved in together our deal was I cook he will do the clean up after. If my hubby thought/said it was MY JOB to do the cooking in the house I might slap him upside the head.

Do you have a split chore list for the rest of the daily home duties?

muffintopminx

Maybe he just wants you to do something for him. Wasn't there some book about the different kinds of love or something? I don't know. My husband doesn't boss me around but he appreciates when I cook for us because its like I did it for him(I did it cuz I was hungry but he can think whatever he wants lol). Maybe try cooking together. That's always fun! You could do the prep work since you hate the cooking part and he can do the rest.

I fold laundry like a mo-fo. Does that count as a kind of love? I got mad skillz with an iron too. I love ironin. I iron his shirts, pants, sometimes his boxers, our bed sheets, heck, I've even ironed socks. I'm crazy borderline autistic with an iron.

Disclaimer: No offense to those with autism, my nephew has autism - I know it's no joke.

bbbgamer

I only read a couple of sentences, are the biscuits ready yet?

muffintopminx

wait.
so if he asks you to make him a sandwich... you dont make the damn sandwich?

WTF?

Whoa - no one's asking for a sandwich. And where's this hostility coming from? I'll make him a sandwich people. I don't like making meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, baked potatoes and a side salad. This is the kind of meal we're talking about, not a grilled cheese.

ANeWcRe8N

He knew this before he married you, so therefore he has to deal with the fact that he married a non-cooker....i believe if the women is a stay at home mom its kind of her job to make dinner, but if you are both working, then why is it YOUR duty....he can cook too

^this.. although I do think it would be nice for the both of you to cook once in awhile for each other

msjenjenp

Sounds like he has a bad case of testosterone poisoning. It's very common these days.

Nopedotjpeg

I heard women's feet are smaller so they can stand closer to the stove. Confirm or deny?

iKristine

I can see your side completely. You married me this way, now you want change?

BUT, people change. And what one desired or thought was something important at one point in time, might not be the same in another point. I think he's expressing that his ideals are changing. Maybe he would like to have a closer relationship with you in the food department. Maybe you both can look to cook together.

If your adamant that you don't cook. Express that firmly and encourage something you TWO can compromise on to work through this together.

Otherwise if he just is demanding it solo. He's in for a sore situation.

muffintopminx

I heard women's feet are smaller so they can stand closer to the stove. Confirm or deny?

Dang-it! My feet are kinda on the small side.