Sorry, I don't cook. Deal with it.

pookeyism

I can't cook. I am horrible at it. It is like all the 'good cook energy' was used up before I was born. But my Hubby loves for me to help. he will "give up" some of the quality of a dish, just to have me there, helping. It's the time spent. maybe that is what you Hubby is try to do, too.

hsmithway

I love to cook, so it's one of those jobs that's generally my responsibility to take care of. But it's because I enjoy it, I'm good at it, and I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I have the time. Not because I'm a woman. Not once have my female reproductive organs ever helped me cook a meal.

I learned how to cook from my dad, because my mother doesn't cook. One of my best female friends hates to cook, and her husband does most of the cooking for their family. My uncle discovered the joys of cooking interesting ethnic food in his retirement, so now he cooks for my aunt.

So yeah, there's no reason your husband can't cook his own meals.

muffintopminx

I REALLY really REALLY want to be on your side.

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

We both DO cook... for ourselves. He doesn't like it though. And I prefer it that way.

Sweet_Potato

I REALLY really REALLY want to be on your side.

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

Says who? Especially if they have such different diets? I'm the sole cook in our house because it's something I truly enjoy, but there's never any pressure put on me to cook something my partner will like every day. If I don't feel like cooking, or I want to make a big pot of mushroom stew, she is perfectly fine fending for herself. She detests cooking and I don't have a problem with that.

velazqsa

I have been married for almost as long as you. I know how to cook. My wife knows how to cook and when neither of us feels like cooking, we order out or we go out. No big deal. So yes. In today's "day-and-age" there is no reason to expect that from just on side of the marriage/partnership/relationship.

Anomalia

Team work.

MB_Positif

I don't know what to say, but "Awwww." I am super thankful that my husband and I both like to eat the same kinds of foods! I happen to love to cook, but I definitely got very tired of it when we were both working full time and I felt like I was doing most of the cooking even though we were both gone the same number of hours. That said, maybe you could consider cooking some things for yourself one day a week where you bang out a few recipes and then just freeze them in individual portions. And maybe you could do the same for him? Not sure what else to say! So sorry you are having to struggle with this!

songbyrdsweet

I really dislike cooking as well, but I dislike my boyfriend's cooking even more so I just deal and cook for us. :laugh: It's not that bad if you look up simple recipes. OR get a crock pot! Those cook for you.

LolaGotThin

You both are right but you both are wrong. I never cooked either. My husband never got huffy about cooking all the time, but like yours, he likes lots of meat and potatoes and can eat pretty much whatever he pleases. But he is more encouraging to me about cooking than getting mad about it. So I try to cook sometimes and he tries to eat it (usually, I actually do a decent job). I am experimenting a lot more lately because of my new eating habits and he gets a little pissy when I don't want to eat what he's cooking because it's too high in fat.
I think you are right and he is wrong in that he shouldn't expect a homecooked meal from you every night.
I think he is right and you are wrong in that you should probably TRY to cook maybe one or two nights a week.

Marriage is a partnership. You guys need to be equal and share those types of "duties". Ultimately, do you love him enough to attempt to try to change yourself for the better? Not change completely, that's not what I mean. But I really try hard to better myself for my husband and he does the same for me.

hamncheese67

If you two have been together for 17 years, why is it an issue now or why is it ongoing? Obviously, your position has been set. Yeah, he's being a turd.

NicolePatriot

I would hope there's some kind of compromise. Maybe you each cook 2 or 3 times a week and then go out the other nights? Or fend for yourselves the other night? Just a suggestion

Oh, there also needs to be a stipulation that he can't complain about what you cook

BarbWhite09

I'm not going to say you're right. I'm not going to say he's right. I think calling him a dumbass on here because he wants to have a meal together is highly immature & disrespectful. Just because you two chat most of the day doesn't mean that you can't have a meal together? What's wrong with spending a little time together? That's kind of part of a relationship, in my opinion. My fiance eats a way higher calorie diet than I, but we generally have the same meals - I'll have a smaller portion, or occasionally substitute something healthier in for myself. It's not that difficult, really. I'm also not the greatest cook ever, I just try to give it an attempt. Sometimes I completely fail, sometimes I end up making a tasty dinner. It's just fun to experiment sometimes, learn new things. Also, YOU don't have to be the one doing all the cooking...Your hubby could cook a few nights a week, you could cook a few nights, you BOTH could cook a few meals together. I would never get on here & bash my significant other in this way...Maybe try to use some of these suggestions, instead of being disrespectful.

ImperfektAngel

I better never be expected to cook! I will if I want to! not that I have to

DMZ_1

This is more of a vent because I'm SO over having the same argument with my husband. I don't cook. I've never cooked. We've been together for 17 years and I have never cooked family meals. I have done it on the rare occasion when I have a wild hair or for a special occasion. But generally we've fended for ourselves in this area because we eat so differently. He's a simple meat and potatoes guy who can eat whatever he wants - in fact he's trying to eat high calorie to GAIN. I eat low calorie stuff that I can just throw together quickly because I have a full time job TOO and I'm just as tired when I get home.

Yet, he thinks it's MY JOB to cook us dinner every night. WHAT??!?!?! Where am I? 1955? When did I mislead him into thinking I was "the little home maker"? NEVER! We don't have kids so I really don't see the point in family dinner since we chat all day long everyday and spend 90% of our free time together.

I hate cooking. Sorry, to offend any fabulous cookers. But I was not given the gift. I don't make fantastic creations. I make a giant mess and then eat a mediocre high calorie dinner with my dumbass husband who doesn't even like what I've made 99% of the time and always critics it!

ps. I like a lot of different flavors and spices (indian, greek, thai, vietnamese...etc) and really spicy food. And he likes mashed potatoes and chicken fried steak.

I don't understand him and obviously he doesn't understand me on this topic. Am I being a bad wife? Or is he living in the dark ages and being kind of a male chauvinist pig?

I love him to death but he's being a turd about this! Right?
Please say I'm right.
Please.
I really hate cooking.

Shouldn't this have been dealt with before marriage?

Here's my view on cooking.....

I don't mind cooking a meal for a woman that I'm in a relationship with. But I don't want to be the primary meal preparer. It is ungratifying.

I hate being responsible for cooking, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. It is a lot to ask. I hope that when I get married, I can trade off some of those responsibilities.

muffintopminx

I'm not going to say you're right. I'm not going to say he's right. I think calling him a dumbass on here because he wants to have a meal together is highly immature & disrespectful. Just because you two chat most of the day doesn't mean that you can't have a meal together? What's wrong with spending a little time together? That's kind of part of a relationship, in my opinion. My fiance eats a way higher calorie diet than I, but we generally have the same meals - I'll have a smaller portion, or occasionally substitute something healthier in for myself. It's not that difficult, really. I'm also not the greatest cook ever, I just try to give it an attempt. Sometimes I completely fail, sometimes I end up making a tasty dinner. It's just fun to experiment sometimes, learn new things. Also, YOU don't have to be the one doing all the cooking...Your hubby could cook a few nights a week, you could cook a few nights, you BOTH could cook a few meals together. I would never get on here & bash my significant other in this way...Maybe try to use some of these suggestions, instead of being disrespectful.

Sorry you think I'm being disrespectful, but you obviously don't know us and should not be judging my relationship. Our marriage is solid. We are very crass and playful with each other and our 17 years together is nothing to sneeze at. I'm venting, I'm frustrated. It happens to the best of us in the best of relationships. So gimme a break, I'm not here to defend my relationship. And certainly don't think I'm being immature. If you can't call you significant other a turd or a dumbass once in a while then you need to lighten up.

lind3400

he is being a turd especially since your both on two completely different diets, theres really nothing u can do cuz either he ends up having to make two ENTIRELY different meals or you do.....OR you can continue to each make your own....makes sense to me why put in all the extra effort so one of you can say "I made dinner tonight" don't know why he doesn't see it!

DyannAlvarez

I hate to cook too, but I try. We do have (his) kids, I stay home (work our own business) so I kinda see it as my "job". And really... I HATE COOKING. I hate having to figure out what to make day in and day out. I HATE that part! But, I do try. He comes from a family where every meal is an "event". I gained most of my weight when I married him! And on top of that, they can cook sooo good. Not me!! Even when I give it my ALL I fall short! He's good nature'd about it though and doesn't nag. I feel ya girl but I'm not taking sides. Good luck with all that!

lind3400

I'm not going to say you're right. I'm not going to say he's right. I think calling him a dumbass on here because he wants to have a meal together is highly immature & disrespectful. Just because you two chat most of the day doesn't mean that you can't have a meal together? What's wrong with spending a little time together? That's kind of part of a relationship, in my opinion. My fiance eats a way higher calorie diet than I, but we generally have the same meals - I'll have a smaller portion, or occasionally substitute something healthier in for myself. It's not that difficult, really. I'm also not the greatest cook ever, I just try to give it an attempt. Sometimes I completely fail, sometimes I end up making a tasty dinner. It's just fun to experiment sometimes, learn new things. Also, YOU don't have to be the one doing all the cooking...Your hubby could cook a few nights a week, you could cook a few nights, you BOTH could cook a few meals together. I would never get on here & bash my significant other in this way...Maybe try to use some of these suggestions, instead of being disrespectful.

Sorry you think I'm being disrespectful, but you obviously don't know us and should not be judging my relationship. Our marriage is solid. We are very crass and playful with each other and our 17 years together is nothing to sneeze at. I'm venting, I'm frustrated. It happens to the best of us in the best of relationships. So gimme a break, I'm not here to defend my relationship. And certainly don't think I'm being immature. If you can't call you significant other a turd or a dumbass once in a while then you need to lighten up.

I call my dad a turd and still respect him....

LalaMicha1

Sing it sista! I despise cooking too, but somehow no one in my family ever starved to death, and my hubby never minded, he hates my cooking

Behavior_Modification

You've been together for 17 years and NOW it is an issue? :huh: