Question for all ladies that go to night clubs with their fr

HorrorChix89

This is why I only hang out with men...

AlSalzman

there are SO many sleazy and arrogant guys in clubs, i tend to only dance with someone if i think he's attractive and he doesn't try to force himself on me or act like he's too good for me.
the clubs around here have a lot of older guys who always try to cop a feel from students and it makes me feel sick.
also, i tend to go out with my friends to have fun, i rarely go out to hook up, and if i do then i tend to make the first move.

She nailed it.

Ten years of tending bar in nightclubs verifies her statements to be true. Guys trying to separate a girl from the protection of the pack through physical advances (even dancing) will usually get shut off. A guy that displays some manners and introduces himself has a chance to meet the girl, maybe buy her a drink, maybe even get a phone number... Even something as simple as asking "Would you lke to dance with me?" has a better shot than running up and grinding all over her.

In any event, he's very, very rarely cutting her from the herd and taking her home unelss that's exactly what she wants. A girl that is in the bar to connect with someone for the night knows what she's after, and is usually pretty direct in choosing a guy. That girl doesn't duck back into the group for protection - if she's with a group at all.

Yes, the girls go out looking good for themselves and their friends. That doesn't mean that they haven't put themselves on display to gain the attention of the guys, though. It just comes down to what the girl is wanting and, to a much lesser extent, the guy's method of approach.

lshafik

Maybe this is different in Gay Bars/Clubs.

I just dance with everyone but not in a seedy way....

...to be fair if you know any britney routines or steps (UK reference) then you are all dancing to the same thing.

Personally I do get dressed up so i feel GOOD in myself but I LOVE that now I have lost weight people notice more...although I do just wear jeans, a blazer and some flat 'tramp' boots but I wear fake eyelashes and do my hair nice and pop bright red lippy on when I can!

madamepsychosis

'I'll talk to anyone. I'm super nice. But as soon as your penis touches my *kitten* without me knowing, I'm not happy.' - Jenna Marbles

La_Amazona

Definitely the uninvited grinding is not cool. I much prefer if a guy actually asks me to dance - I will usually dance with anyone who asks unless they are super creepy -- however, just because i dance with you doesn't mean i'm going home with you.

This.

I will dance if you ask, most of the time.. unless you're being pervy or a creeper. But honestly, I'm hardly ever asked. It usually occurs where I'll be dancing and just feel a guy on me suddenly. If it's the grinding crap, yuck! I will grab my friend and walk away. If the guy is cute and friendly, I'll gravitate towards him and dance.

This is why I actually like going to salsa clubs. Guys there ASK. It's so old fashioned and I love it.

BigDaddyBRC

This just happened to us on Friday.... we dance with eachother but if a guy is going to come up to one of us, we put him in the middle, and he better bring his dancing shoes. lol

Put down the sombrero and let me loose!

Allie_71

I just don't cotton to the grinding. Now, that is even speaking from a culture where that is acceptable, but I dunno...I still don't feel comfortable with it. Any other kind of dancing, have at it. I'm all yours

ItsCasey

Depends on what you're looking for. If all you're after is sex, sure, there's probably at least one woman in the place who lacks self-esteem and is willing to let you use her for the night. Any approach will work on her. But the rest of the women are truly just there to have a good time with their friends, and if you want the attention of one of those women, be polite and respectful. Talk to her. Treat her like she's not just some random girl who might be willing to go home with you later. Make her feel like you chose her, out of all the other women in the place, for a reason.

rossi02

there are SO many sleazy and arrogant guys in clubs, i tend to only dance with someone if i think he's attractive and he doesn't try to force himself on me or act like he's too good for me.
the clubs around here have a lot of older guys who always try to cop a feel from students and it makes me feel sick.
also, i tend to go out with my friends to have fun, i rarely go out to hook up, and if i do then i tend to make the first move.

She nailed it.

Ten years of tending bar in nightclubs verifies her statements to be true. Guys trying to separate a girl from the protection of the pack through physical advances (even dancing) will usually get shut off. A guy that displays some manners and introduces himself has a chance to meet the girl, maybe buy her a drink, maybe even get a phone number... Even something as simple as asking "Would you lke to dance with me?" has a better shot than running up and grinding all over her.

In any event, he's very, very rarely cutting her from the herd and taking her home unelss that's exactly what she wants. A girl that is in the bar to connect with someone for the night knows what she's after, and is usually pretty direct in choosing a guy. That girl doesn't duck back into the group for protection - if she's with a group at all.

Yes, the girls go out looking good for themselves and their friends. That doesn't mean that they haven't put themselves on display to gain the attention of the guys, though. It just comes down to what the girl is wanting and, to a much lesser extent, the guy's method of approach.

I think these two nailed it!

MissVCI

That's why I stopped going to clubs.

Only the creepers would try to try to dance with me and my girls, and if I saw an attractive guy he normally stayed with his crew.

The last time I went to a club was when this creeper came up behind me tried to dance with me, I politely moved away , he grabbed my wrist and told me "It's not hard yet."

The audacity of some men. ewww.

christine24t

When I go out with my friends, sometimes we'll see people that are cute that we want to dance with. But it depends on a lot of things, including:
- what friends we're out with
- how drunk we are
- how we're feeling overall good night or bad night
- what the bar scene is like
- if anybody we know is out dancing (i'm less likely to grind if i see a million classmates that will gossip about it on Monday)

It's kinda cheesy to ask a girl at a nightclub to dance with you, in my opinion. If you want to dance with a girl, go up behind her and dance a little bit. If she likes you, she'll respond, if not, she'll move away and that's your cue to know that she doesn't want to dance. Don't keep trying! Haha

As for the dressing thing, this nailed it:

Primarily for their friends, I'd say, but single girls also aren't *opposed* to meeting guys. It just has to feel right, and happen right. You don't want someone who tries too hard to dance with you because there can be no mistaking what he's trying to achieve (you know what I mean). But if you happen to click with someone, and you have fun with him, that's a great feeling.

ItsCasey

I don't think it's cheesy to ask. I think a woman deserves the courtesy of being asked, rather than some guy assuming she's okay with it and her having to move away from him or actually having to ask him to go away.

When did people stop communicating with each other like human beings rather than animals who don't have the power of speech?

DannyMussels

Me and my boys just wanna go to the club and dance off a stressful week, can't we do that without drunk women ruining our good time??????

ThePhoenixRose

I gotta say, i think some of the ladies here are not quite being honest... i'll get hated on for this, i know, but here goes. I dress up and look cute cause i like it. I like that my girlfriends think i look good. AND, i like getting noticed by guys. I'm married, been with him for 9 years, but still, it's nice to know someone still finds you attractive.

when i'm dancing with girlfriends, i'll usually stick with my girlfriends though. when a guy comes up, again, it's a bit flattering that they are trying, and i know it takes balls for a guy to approach a group of girls, so i usually don't shoot him down. (like the others, unless he's really creepy!) Yes i'm married. yes i'm with my friends. but there is nothing wrong with dancing with someone. i'm not doing him, and i make that clear from the beginning.

My girlfriends are the same way. we dance together, but if someone has the balls to try to join, he's usually welcome to it. of course we draw lines, but in general, it's fine. and when we were single, BRING 'EM ON!!! :laugh:

AmberJslimsAWAY

if i were attracted to the guy, i would dance with him. otherwise, stay with the friends.

exactly this.

JeanetteDee

Like some others said, if I were attracted to the guy heck yes I would dance with him. But there are also times that I go out with the girls and we just want to dance with each other and not pay attention to the guys.

marielladear

if i were attracted to the guy, i would dance with him. otherwise, stay with the friends.

^ this, i will reject if i'm not interested and sometimes, girls are just their with friends, maybe she even had a beyfriend

JeanetteDee

I gotta say, i think some of the ladies here are not quite being honest... i'll get hated on for this, i know, but here goes. I dress up and look cute cause i like it. I like that my girlfriends think i look good. AND, i like getting noticed by guys. I'm married, been with him for 9 years, but still, it's nice to know someone still finds you attractive.

when i'm dancing with girlfriends, i'll usually stick with my girlfriends though. when a guy comes up, again, it's a bit flattering that they are trying, and i know it takes balls for a guy to approach a group of girls, so i usually don't shoot him down. (like the others, unless he's really creepy!) Yes i'm married. yes i'm with my friends. but there is nothing wrong with dancing with someone. i'm not doing him, and i make that clear from the beginning.

My girlfriends are the same way. we dance together, but if someone has the balls to try to join, he's usually welcome to it. of course we draw lines, but in general, it's fine. and when we were single, BRING 'EM ON!!! :laugh:

I so agree with this

rml_16

If I was at least a little attracted to a guy who asked politely I would not shoot him down. But the grinding thing? Gross and bordering on sexual assault.

I also had a situation last time I went dancing with girlfriends where some random guy (old enough to be my father and NOT attractive) saw me get up to go dance with my friends. My friends were going up there, but had to wait for something, so I was trying to wait for them and this man literally grabbed my arm and tried to drag me to the dance floor even as I was telling him I was not ready to go out there. A guy who does that doesn't stand a chance, either, even if he's attractive to me.

MissVCI

I gotta say, i think some of the ladies here are not quite being honest... i'll get hated on for this, i know, but here goes. I dress up and look cute cause i like it. I like that my girlfriends think i look good. AND, i like getting noticed by guys. I'm married, been with him for 9 years, but still, it's nice to know someone still finds you attractive.

when i'm dancing with girlfriends, i'll usually stick with my girlfriends though. when a guy comes up, again, it's a bit flattering that they are trying, and i know it takes balls for a guy to approach a group of girls, so i usually don't shoot him down. (like the others, unless he's really creepy!) Yes i'm married. yes i'm with my friends. but there is nothing wrong with dancing with someone. i'm not doing him, and i make that clear from the beginning.

My girlfriends are the same way. we dance together, but if someone has the balls to try to join, he's usually welcome to it. of course we draw lines, but in general, it's fine. and when we were single, BRING 'EM ON!!! :laugh:

Yes, I love dressing up and looking hot and i expect to get cat called by men walking down the street.
yes I go out to meet and flirt with men.

but i have to be ATTRACTED to him, and for some reason only the creepers talk to me, and being accosted by a guy with a hard on is not my idea of a good time.

bettyboop573

usually girls go to the club to dance/have fun with their girlfriends.

see i always thought the same thing.... just sucks for the guy i guess. i'm married and dont care but its hilarious to see some guys try hard.

oh and another thing, are girls just getting really dressed up and looking extremely hot for their girlfriends?

haha my friend and I just had this discussion! Women dont dress up for men they dress up for other women! lol :P

SilverStrychnine

This is why I go to Goth clubs. The men are ever so polite and gentlemanly (in my experience anyway).

Jlopez201

If I want to dance with a guy I usually give eye contact and a smile.. BUt if you try to make eye contact with a girl and she quickly turns away don't even bother. Another way to see if she might be interested in dancing is to see if one of her girlfriends is already dancing with someone then you can try.. LOL.

mnishi

Unfortunately, most guys at clubs just want to hook up. If you let them dance with you they will usually be all over you all night, and some get handsy. It's easier to just ignore them all.

Di3012

Ok so i recently went to a club in NYC and i see a couple of group of girls. Girls looked good... but then the girls just danced with each other. Thats fine.

but then i saw these random fellas try to dance with one of the girls and no luck. Then i see the moronic man who tries to grind behind and still no luck. LOL not surprised..

but then i ask myself, is it a lose lose situation. Does a guy have no chance approaching a girl at a club? is the setting the bad place? i mean even if a guy asked a girl politely, "want to dance?" they would get shot down.

what say you ladies?

Personally, I met my husband at a nightclub, he asked me to dance, then asked if he could buy me a drink, we chatted and made a date for the next night, we've been together for 16 years now. Nightclubs are like cattle markets really though, aren't they, they're not always the best place to meet somebody..

duharvalgt

Will take note ; won't be finding with that grinding. :laugh:

aqua_zumba_fan

No...Women get dressed up for other women LOL

Particularly if their primary attraction is to women. There is also an assumption by guys who try to dance with girls that these girls are even into men. I hate it when men try it on cos it's rude and presumptuous but also cos I'm into women (well, I'm in a long-term relationship, but if I was in a club when single) and I hate that men assume I'm not!

sblair77

It's all about attraction.

If I find someone attractive I would probably chat with them at the bar...not interested in them dancing with me. I have more fun with my girls.

I personally do not like guys that are into dancing much. Just me. All the guys I've ever dated and now my husband are at the bar or close by talking with other guys....doing guy things. My girls and I dance - together.

Sometimes I do want to dance with my husband and so I will ask my husband to please come dance with me.

_Timmeh_

I picture those creepy old guido looking guys, fake orange tan, fake rug on top, shirt unbuttoned with a thick gold chain lost in a sea of hair on the chest.......

NYCDutchess

I think it depends on the girls and the group. If a good looking guy approaches me and is polite about it, I'm good. But some guys are arrogant. I'm married, so as long as you're fine with it just being a dance, it's all good.

But sometimes your just out to hang with your friends, you don't want to dance with guys. I think men should take the signs.