Too many friends?

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24

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  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    I didn't want to go above 25 but they kept coming then I thought 50 will be fine and still they kept coming...75....100 and holding steady between 105 and 115. I only delete if they haven't been active for 3 months with no log ins at all, I figure they probably won't be back after that long.

    I can't get round to them all daily along with moderating on here so I apologise every now and then and every couple of weeks I make time to visit every single one and comment on their posts or post something, anything on their wall...even if its just a "hi, how you doing"

    If you don't want above x amount then post a "sorry, no vacancies" on your profile. You'll still get some but you're free to decline and I doubt most would take offence.
  • rdsxgrl28
    rdsxgrl28 Posts: 165 Member
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    I am new here so no "culling" yet but I agree with alot of what was said.

    I will keep the group that seems active, suppotive and in it for the real journey. I don't do FB - too much ex drama. I won't keep drama.
  • sandown12
    sandown12 Posts: 648 Member
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    I love having loads as thats our support some dont talk some are my constiant support as I have none but here enjoy the help x
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
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    It's the uniform.

    Heh heh. And your weight loss icon! All kidding aside, two of my brothers in law were in law enforcement before retiring, one in Manhattan (forgot the precinct) and one was a detective in Brooklyn. People in law enforcement deserve alot more credit than they get.

    On friends-- whatever you are comfortable with. I don't have many; but those that I have, I actively support.
  • mickyjg
    mickyjg Posts: 49
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    I've only been on for a few days but already have over 20 friends and am thrilled.

    I'm fairly sure we are all realistic adults who should realise that with that many friends you cannot comment on them all every day.That doesn't mean that they will not be there to support you if you let them know you need it.
  • Karsty
    Karsty Posts: 22 Member
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    Excellent question ... I only have a few friends. Three of those are people that I actually know in the real world. Family and friends. As for accepting other MFP friends ... I have to be able to relate to their struggles. I have almost 200 pounds to lose and just can't relate to folks that have only a "few" pounds to lose because they want to "look good on the beach".

    It is important to have people that can offer support, encouragement and accountability. But like someone else commented ... this not a popularity contest. It is serious stuff for me and I need to get this done for health reason.

    Wishing you all well on your journey.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    It's the uniform.
    this! lol i have over 270 and it is a lot but i think you do what you can do and dont worry about the rest. i am on when i am on and i support who i can. those i get close to i make sure to post on their wall so they can see it!
  • christibam
    christibam Posts: 478 Member
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    I've had about 50 people add me in the last couple days because of a couple threads I posted in or made. At first, I ignored the ones with blank requests but now I just look at how long they've been here, how much weight they've lost and how often they log in.

    I plan on going through and deleting anyone who hasn't logged in in a week though. I log in daily and don't take cheat days ever so it's sort of disappointing to see people not keeping up with something that only takes a couple minutes.

    Well, I do have two friends on mine that haven't logged in in over 2 months but those are the two people (they're married) who got me to start using this. She's already at her goal weight but I don't plan on deleting them. It's a symbolic thing haha.
  • kjmommie
    kjmommie Posts: 92 Member
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    My thoughts are ... if I can inspire, motivate, support ... or help somebody in anyway ... I have accomplished what this site is all about. I have alot of friends on my page and get new requests daily ... when I log on I go to my feed and respond to whoever I see there ... I don't pick and choose who is " worthy " of my friendship ... I mean really ... aren't we all ????

    People spend way to much time overthinking what others do ... instead of focusing on making this journey fun ! I don't know about anybody else on here ... but I'm here for me ! And quite frankly ... being me is just enough !

    Have an awesome day my friends ... smile whenever possible ... somebody else will definitely appreciate it !

    :happy:




    Well said Laney :smile:
  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,253 Member
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    It's a few ways you can handle it....Depending on your preference....

    1) If they don't have a message or picture while requesting- Deny
    2) Accept them and if you don't see much support/working out/submitting diary...then delete them
    3) Determine if you are able to support this pals( That is very important) and think how you would feel if you didn't get much support from a pal with to many friends.

    I myself started with 50 pals...then it grew and grew...I have over 200 now...and I can honestly say that I get to most of my pals daily...or if not...I have a routine of checking in on pals pages...Just to say how...

    I am no longer limiting myself....Everyone needs support its just depends on what you are willing to give back...

    HOPE THIS HELPS!
  • MMarvelous
    MMarvelous Posts: 1,067 Member
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    I accept all requests and check on my friends who have not logged in for awhile. This is a support group do if someone is not responsive they may need you more now than ever! Some friends may never comment on your post but will look at your diary and progress and get ideas and motivation. Just b/c someone never comments doesn't mean they don't need to be your friend, sometimes silence is golden and they just need inspiration!
  • kjmoore212000
    kjmoore212000 Posts: 8 Member
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    I personally think you can not have enough friends, denying people defeats the purpose of this site. I use it for accountability, if I know a lot of people are watching me fall off the wagon it gives me a little more motivation to keep going. I've learned new things from reading my news feed when others post questions and are answered by their friends. Not everyone will post questions and concerns on the message boards. I've gotten good advice on new meals, products, and exercise just from my news feed alone. I have some friends that post daily motivational support to everyone they are friends with. I'm not able to reply to every news feed that comes along but I reply as much as I can.

    Oh, and anyone feel free to add me.
  • DawnVanSlim
    DawnVanSlim Posts: 10,471
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    I get fed up of accepting a request then never hearing from them again. whats the point in adding me, Im deadly serious about reaching my goals, so like to offer support to others, put when you keep giving it and getting nothing back then its time to chop em I say!!:grumble:

    ^this!!
  • SLN11
    SLN11 Posts: 210
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    I usually accept requests, but if I find that they aren't supportive, logged on in a few weeks, or just don't seem to be serious about it I defriend them.

    Yes i agree with this too,

    I have many friends a lot of them have been friends since I started, however you will soon know the ones the motivate a lot will comment back and update status that just help you keep going xx
  • laurastrait21
    laurastrait21 Posts: 307 Member
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    I rarely say no and only cut if people are inactive. I cut someone recently with 300+ friends who was using cut and paste support on all of our diaries .. that is way too tacky for me.
  • swaymyway
    swaymyway Posts: 428 Member
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    A lot of people here seem to feel obliged to comment on every thing each of their friends does - so I can see why they don't want too many friends and struggle to keep up, but I don't feel the same obligation, I comment when I feel like I have something to say, not just for the sake of 'showing face' and can often go several says without doing so, if people see that as me being unsupportive and want to defriend me they are welcome to do so :)
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I have had as many as like 150 or something. I recently cut down to 84. I "need" very little from my friends, as I don't actually need support for fitness or weight loss anymore. I've been here a year now. In the beginning I accepted everyone and just made small cuts here or there when I felt like "who are these people?" I made a cut of 50 last night.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 767 Member
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    I have 60 or so..I actually know most my friends from another forum I am on...so I am personally vested in their lives and genuinely give a care about them...loves them in fact! I also only have girl friends...nothing against guy friends...and I used to have some that we're amazing and super fitness oriented..but feel really free speaking with just girls...so basically I deny people a the time...or I wi just leave them on my request and see if they are fronds with my friends etc...a note is always a plays...don't feel bad..weed people out...

    Also if they aren't logging regularly...they get dropped!!!

    Brutal ...I know!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,641 Member
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    I don't turn anyone away. I do go through and delete anyone 1 month or longer off every couple of weeks. I believe I have over 300 friends and get PM'd alot with questions. But I usually answer them. I do let them know that I'm NOT their online trainer though and that I don't have the time to scrutinize their every day workout or make workouts up for them.
  • psychopiglet
    psychopiglet Posts: 130 Member
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    I have 82 and wouldn't say no to more! I don't have time to comment on everything everyone posts and logs but I do comment on whatever is showing on My Home page whenever I pop by. I don't expect anyone to comment on my stuff, I just like being able to see what others are doing/eating. It's quite inspiring a lot of the time and I don't think I would still be logging in every day without them.

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