My Rant on the Over/Under!

AllanMisner

I don't know how many times I've seen a diary where the person has eaten like crap all day (candy, cakes, fast food, etc.) Pure crap! But they manage to come in under their calorie count. So the comments from their so called friends are "WTG!", "Good Job!" , etc.

STOP! It wasn't a good day. THEY ATE LIKE CRAP! Call them on it! Sure they kept their calories below 1300. But their only claim to vegetables was their taco for lunch! You aren't helping them by rewarding the behavior. Get past the blurb on the screen and actually look into their diary. It takes time, but they're supposed to be your friend, remember?

And for the bad eater, those so called friends are rewarding poor choices. Drop them like you would an abusive SO. Find friends that will hold you accountable, give you suggestions, and show compassion when you have a bad day or two. Lose the ones that only see the word "under" and think that's the goal. And if you're not sharing your diary with your friends, you're missing one of the best parts of MFP.

Thank you for your attention.

Dave198lbs

let he without sin cast the first stone

gp79

You mean people actually look at diaries before they comment?

HisPathDaily

Feel better now? lol ... I find it funny when people do that to my diary posts (which is why I log usually but rarely post) ... just because I'm under didn't mean I had a good day!

30yearssincebikini

I feel like everyone on here is an adult (at least most are) and they know what they are eating. They also know that it's bad. They don't need me to call them out on anything.

I say worry about your own diary.

SergeantSunshine_reused

My thought: Who cares? If they came under their calorie goal than great! Some people start off with learning portion control then slowly making healthier choices. Who are you to say they don't deserve a wtg?

I didn't eat any vegetables today... GASP

MistyboBisty

I don't like that MFP tells me, after an entry, how much weight I'd lose in 5 weeks if... when I am way under, and it looks much better than when I eat closer to my goal. I think it could be tempting to eat way under to reach that much nicer sounding 5 week goal.

arsonsmom

Hey we are recovering food addicts...Be kind we are trying to get this eating thing right...I think its best to start at coming in under my daily calories...Instead of just eating crap all day and getting fatter...But Who am I...Geez Harsh...LOL

marasw

For me this is a very difficult and emotional battle of will. I eat like crap pretty much every day and on the occasions that I manage to eat under my calories, if someone told me I wasn't doing a good job I would probably be tempted to give up entirely. I know that sounds weak and pathetic, but that's how it is.

AZKristi

I open my diary to friends so they can get ideas from my good days. I don't care to be chastised because I have a bad day. I don't really look back to see if people comment on my diary though, so I suppose I'd never know.

Hayesgang

Get over yourself!!

If I want to eat chips with my sandwich or have a bag of candy who are you to judge me.

If you only want "clean eaters" don't accept friends that eat "crap" then you don't have to get all uptight about OTHER PEOPLE CHOICES!!!

alorick

I'm totally on the same page. I won't call someone out who I know usually keeps a pretty healthy diary. A bad day here or there is normal and to be expected. If I see one of my friends eating like crap for days in a row, you better believe I'll ask them what the deal is. I'm not going to be a meanie head about it, but I will ask.

I don't normally sugar coat things with my friends in real life and on Facebook, why would I do that here? I'm here to lose weight, be supported, and to SUPPORT people. Support, to me, sometimes means you have to call someone out on their *kitten*. If it means I lose MFP friends, so be it. I actually would like when I have a bad day, even if I'm under my calories, for someone asks why I ate like crap. It means they actually CARE and look at my day instead of assuming I did great because of what some blurb says.

*Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

dinosnopro

I had cheese cake and ice cream today and came in under my calorie goal, why you mad tho?

D446

If they are under there calorie goal then good on them. Personally I would rather be under my calorie goal and eat kinda crappy then be over it by a lot and have eaten healthy, that's just me.

SilverStrychnine

I take those comments with a grain of salt, unless they've made a comment that SHOWS they've read my diary (like "Drink more water!" or "Where do you get ___?").

I'd rather be a little over my calorie goal because of veggies, than under because of junk. You might be under calorie, but think of all the fat (for example) that you've put into your body that day.

However, Sunshine 88 has made an excellent point in that at least people are learning portion control. Some people need to take things one step at a time, others can fling themselves full force into weight loss. I'm somewhere in the middle

simplyblessed5

all I can say is thank God mine is now pw protected. :ohwell:

saragato

I always wonder about people I see that go way over certain levels like sodium. I basically just wonder if it bothers them or if they're actually keeping track of it. I know I keep track of my protein and if there's a day I'm way under for whatever reason, I feel bad.

And to be truthful, I eat junk sometimes. Occasional hamburger or chinese take-out, but I don't do it every day and I work hard to make up for it. As long as they're losing weight, who cares?

essjay76

LOL! I kinda agree with you on this, but to each his own, I think. People join MFP for different reasons, but you can't deny people have one main goal: to lose weight, lose fat, get smaller, whatever...

Some people think they want to be "more healthy" (to them, meaning being at a certain weight, eating under a certain calorie goal per day), without any regards to what they put in their body. I think the term "being healthy" is used way too loosely. Sure, you might look at a gorgeous supermodel on MFP and think that she's "healthy" because she's thin and meets her calorie goals consistently, but what you might not know if she leaves her diary closed is that her calories consist of vodka, coffee, McDonald's, boxed foods, packaged foods, and just plain ****... she probably can't walk 10 minutes without huffing and puffing, her blood pressure is through the roof, she's already had a heart attack at age 32, LOL!... but she's under her calorie goal, right?

That's why, to each his own. MFP promotes tracking your food intake, not necessarily healthy eating. The home page of MFP states "eat whatever you want".

So yeah, I guess it all comes down to that person's goals. If that person wants to be "healthy" but eats like **** while still staying under their calorie goal, then yes, you're right, maybe you should comment and make them accountable. But if their only goal is to keep their calories in check, then sure! -- Support them, applaud them... they've reached their goal, right?

cardiokitten

This website is for encouragement. I don't come here to get yelled at or people refusing to tell me good job when I'm trying. And If I have a bad day where I go over, I still like the encouragement that it's just one day and I can still get back on track. Telling me that is muuuuch better than commenting, "Hey, you ate 300 calories of chocolate today?! DELETED!"

frugalmomsrock

I don't know how many times I've seen a diary where the person has eaten like crap all day (candy, cakes, fast food, etc.) Pure crap! But they manage to come in under their calorie count. So the comments from their so called friends are "WTG!", "Good Job!" , etc.

STOP! It wasn't a good day. THEY ATE LIKE CRAP! Call them on it! Sure they kept their calories below 1300. But their only claim to vegetables was their taco for lunch! You aren't helping them by rewarding the behavior. Get past the blurb on the screen and actually look into their diary. It takes time, but they're supposed to be your friend, remember?

And for the bad eater, those so called friends are rewarding poor choices. Drop them like you would an abusive SO. Find friends that will hold you accountable, give you suggestions, and show compassion when you have a bad day or two. Lose the ones that only see the word "under" and think that's the goal. And if you're not sharing your diary with your friends, you're missing one of the best parts of MFP.

Thank you for your attention.

My first thought is "what's it to you how they get their calories?" My second thought is, "big words from a tough guy with a closed diary..."

SergeantSunshine_reused

*Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

Not true. I eat my fair share of "junk" often. I treat myself daily to something I like. I don't crave and have been losing just fine.

NeuroticVirgo

I understand that they aren't eating the best foods, but I bet its still a lot better than what they would have eaten before. To me, if my day is filled with 20 cookies, some candy, and some fast food but I still managed to stay under calories then that IS a good day. Because a bad day for me is about 6000 calories, of crap.

I'm just sharing my personal experience. No one knows there situation that day, they don't know how hard it might have been to control what they ate to at least come under calories. Maybe if they are living off fudge pops for a week, then say something. But if they have one or even a few days that aren't great nutrition wise, calling them out on it could send them spiraling the other way, because they feel like they just totally failed.

KJVBear33

Honestly, I feel like the OP is trying to come from a good place here..........the OP gets worried for these people and worry sometimes comes off as "judging" or "harshness". I think that because the OP has obstacles like that........like we all do........that the OP actually self talks like that to themselves. I know I sure do when I eat like crap. Just because I stay under a certain amount, doesn't mean that I get to say "Yay me".

Like for instance..........today I had peanut m&ms.........very crappy..........also along with it, some twislers on the way home because I was hungry.........and then proceeded with five pieces of pizza AND two glasses of wine...........can we say over indulge? *shakes head*

Main thing to know......... I messed up once, but I wont for sure tomorrow. Bring it on!

Special thanks to the OP for this message..........needed a wake up call for myself!!

batesss

Sometimes people just need a day of eating crap and if their day of crap eating was still under their calorie goal, good for them.

The only time I want to hear someone comment on my food choices is when I say "Help!" or "What can I be doing better?" Otherwise, mind your business and keep on supporting that I'm under my calorie goals.

Don't get me wrong, I believe that eating healthy is important, but I also believe it important to support your fellow MFP-er's and focus on your own WLJ and not everyone else's. Who are you to judge? You're not on here because you've made perfect food choices everyday.

alorick

*Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

Not true. I eat my fair share of "junk" often. I treat myself daily to something I like. I don't crave and have been losing just fine.

Everyone is different. I personally, crave junk if I eat a lot of it. Of course, I don't eat as healthy as I should sometimes. That's life. But I've had friends on here who consistently eat junk all day every day, and then complain because they can't lose. And when you try to offer friendly suggestions as to what they could do or change, they get mad. I don't get it.

dlyeates

I prefer comments like "Yummy dinner" or "that looks good" because I've gone over by less than 50 calories before but it's healthy stuff and I don't want to have people just reward under calories. Look at my diary or don't comment!!!

Hayesgang

I had cheese cake and ice cream today and came in under my calorie goal, why you mad tho?

Uh oh - You better start begging for forgiveness!!

SergeantSunshine_reused

*Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

Not true. I eat my fair share of "junk" often. I treat myself daily to something I like. I don't crave and have been losing just fine.

Everyone is different. I personally, crave junk if I eat a lot of it. Of course, I don't eat as healthy as I should sometimes. That's life. But I've had friends on here who consistently eat junk all day every day, and then complain because they can't lose. And when you try to offer friendly suggestions as to what they could do or change, they get mad. I don't get it.

Ah I see what you mean now. I do friendly suggestions, but I try to make it seem like I am not nagging them :] Usually it is about proper macros and such, but my friends are a smart bunch ^-^ I mean if the aren't losing and you have a few suggestions I don't see the problem.

But I still stand by with junk is okay depending on the person. I am big on eat it if it fits in your macros.

CoryIda

I rarely comment on diaries, my own is private (although I am very open/honest about the types of foods and portions that I consume), and you hit the nail on the head about why -

I don't want to commend people on eating crap (although treats in moderation are fine), or on not eating enough, or on anything else like that. If I do take a peek at someone's diary and have something constructive to say, I'll say it, but generally I just skip over those things in my news feed.

jamiemc4525

I understand what you are saying but you need to look at the whole picture and see where people are in their journey and what they are using MFP for. Personally, for me--I REALIZE that calorie counting isn't a great diet but I'm using it as a tool. Not only do I get to see exactly how crappy something is for me (especially when I thought it was a decent choice) but I am controlling my portions and how much I eat. In a few weeks, when I'm doing well on my exercise as well as my portion control then I'll make other changes that make my diet healthier. I know myself and I know how I think so I'm using MFP as what it's intended for---a tool.

OSC_ESD

Hmmmmmmmm .......... * She wonders, was his comment about her managing a " few " treats today a nice comment or the evil friend saying " Yo Laney ... get with the damn program ! "

Ha ha ha ! Seriously, I completely agree. If I don't have time to look at a diary I don't comment. Anybody can stay under eating pure crap and think they did good ... that is the biggest disappoint I have witnessed since being involved in others progress. How can these same people wonder why they aren't losing or feeling any better ???

Listen folks ... a calorie is NOT just a calorie. The sooner you learn that ... the healthier you'll be !

Ok ... My rant is over. That's about the extent of my negativity ! Hope I didn't hurt anybody's feelings ! LOL ! :flowerforyou: