My Rant on the Over/Under!

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  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
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    I understand that they aren't eating the best foods, but I bet its still a lot better than what they would have eaten before. To me, if my day is filled with 20 cookies, some candy, and some fast food but I still managed to stay under calories then that IS a good day. Because a bad day for me is about 6000 calories, of crap.

    I'm just sharing my personal experience. No one knows there situation that day, they don't know how hard it might have been to control what they ate to at least come under calories. Maybe if they are living off fudge pops for a week, then say something. But if they have one or even a few days that aren't great nutrition wise, calling them out on it could send them spiraling the other way, because they feel like they just totally failed.
  • KJVBear33
    KJVBear33 Posts: 628
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    Honestly, I feel like the OP is trying to come from a good place here..........the OP gets worried for these people and worry sometimes comes off as "judging" or "harshness". I think that because the OP has obstacles like that........like we all do........that the OP actually self talks like that to themselves. I know I sure do when I eat like crap. Just because I stay under a certain amount, doesn't mean that I get to say "Yay me".

    Like for instance..........today I had peanut m&ms.........very crappy..........also along with it, some twislers on the way home because I was hungry.........and then proceeded with five pieces of pizza AND two glasses of wine...........can we say over indulge? *shakes head*

    Main thing to know......... I messed up once, but I wont for sure tomorrow. Bring it on!

    Special thanks to the OP for this message..........needed a wake up call for myself!! :);)
  • batesss
    batesss Posts: 24
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    Sometimes people just need a day of eating crap and if their day of crap eating was still under their calorie goal, good for them.

    The only time I want to hear someone comment on my food choices is when I say "Help!" or "What can I be doing better?" Otherwise, mind your business and keep on supporting that I'm under my calorie goals.

    Don't get me wrong, I believe that eating healthy is important, but I also believe it important to support your fellow MFP-er's and focus on your own WLJ and not everyone else's. Who are you to judge? You're not on here because you've made perfect food choices everyday.
  • alorick
    alorick Posts: 194
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    *Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

    Not true. I eat my fair share of "junk" often. I treat myself daily to something I like. I don't crave and have been losing just fine.

    Everyone is different. I personally, crave junk if I eat a lot of it. Of course, I don't eat as healthy as I should sometimes. That's life. But I've had friends on here who consistently eat junk all day every day, and then complain because they can't lose. And when you try to offer friendly suggestions as to what they could do or change, they get mad. I don't get it.
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
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    I prefer comments like "Yummy dinner" or "that looks good" because I've gone over by less than 50 calories before but it's healthy stuff and I don't want to have people just reward under calories. Look at my diary or don't comment!!!
  • Hayesgang
    Hayesgang Posts: 624
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    I had cheese cake and ice cream today and came in under my calorie goal, why you mad tho?


    Uh oh - You better start begging for forgiveness!!
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    *Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

    Not true. I eat my fair share of "junk" often. I treat myself daily to something I like. I don't crave and have been losing just fine.

    Everyone is different. I personally, crave junk if I eat a lot of it. Of course, I don't eat as healthy as I should sometimes. That's life. But I've had friends on here who consistently eat junk all day every day, and then complain because they can't lose. And when you try to offer friendly suggestions as to what they could do or change, they get mad. I don't get it.

    Ah I see what you mean now. I do friendly suggestions, but I try to make it seem like I am not nagging them :] Usually it is about proper macros and such, but my friends are a smart bunch ^-^ I mean if the aren't losing and you have a few suggestions I don't see the problem.

    But I still stand by with junk is okay depending on the person. I am big on eat it if it fits in your macros.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I rarely comment on diaries, my own is private (although I am very open/honest about the types of foods and portions that I consume), and you hit the nail on the head about why -

    I don't want to commend people on eating crap (although treats in moderation are fine), or on not eating enough, or on anything else like that. If I do take a peek at someone's diary and have something constructive to say, I'll say it, but generally I just skip over those things in my news feed.
  • jamiemc4525
    jamiemc4525 Posts: 2 Member
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    I understand what you are saying but you need to look at the whole picture and see where people are in their journey and what they are using MFP for. Personally, for me--I REALIZE that calorie counting isn't a great diet but I'm using it as a tool. Not only do I get to see exactly how crappy something is for me (especially when I thought it was a decent choice) but I am controlling my portions and how much I eat. In a few weeks, when I'm doing well on my exercise as well as my portion control then I'll make other changes that make my diet healthier. I know myself and I know how I think so I'm using MFP as what it's intended for---a tool.
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
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    Hmmmmmmmm .......... * She wonders, was his comment about her managing a " few " treats today a nice comment or the evil friend saying " Yo Laney ... get with the damn program ! "

    Ha ha ha ! Seriously, I completely agree. If I don't have time to look at a diary I don't comment. Anybody can stay under eating pure crap and think they did good ... that is the biggest disappoint I have witnessed since being involved in others progress. How can these same people wonder why they aren't losing or feeling any better ???

    Listen folks ... a calorie is NOT just a calorie. The sooner you learn that ... the healthier you'll be !

    Ok ... My rant is over. That's about the extent of my negativity ! Hope I didn't hurt anybody's feelings ! LOL ! :flowerforyou:
  • hbunting86
    hbunting86 Posts: 952 Member
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    I think you're being way harsh about this, to be honest.

    Everyone has bad days - bad weeks or even bad months. It's that little thing called life that gets in the way of us all being perceived to be 'perfect'. If you're under your calories and ate, say a McDonalds... well you're under your calories. It could be a treat, it could be a slip or it could be purely a matter of convenience at the time. We all, I'm sure, have busy lives with plenty of distractors on the way to losing weight. Being snarky about it doesn't help people.

    Just saying.
  • sweetnessandlighter
    sweetnessandlighter Posts: 24 Member
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    I get your point, BUT isn't the point calories-in, calories-out? You will still lose weight when you eat less crap! It's a continuum, right?
  • 1996gtstang
    1996gtstang Posts: 279 Member
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    changing a lifestyle is a tough transition, cutting portions and calories is a good first step
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    *Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

    Not true. I eat my fair share of "junk" often. I treat myself daily to something I like. I don't crave and have been losing just fine.

    Everyone is different. I personally, crave junk if I eat a lot of it. Of course, I don't eat as healthy as I should sometimes. That's life. But I've had friends on here who consistently eat junk all day every day, and then complain because they can't lose. And when you try to offer friendly suggestions as to what they could do or change, they get mad. I don't get it.

    Ah I see what you mean now. I do friendly suggestions, but I try to make it seem like I am not nagging them :] Usually it is about proper macros and such, but my friends are a smart bunch ^-^ I mean if the aren't losing and you have a few suggestions I don't see the problem.

    But I still stand by with junk is okay depending on the person. I am big on eat it if it fits in your macros.
    I ate an entire tub (2 cups) of non-dairy ice cream tonight. It fit in my macros. It was yummy. I still wouldn't recommend doing it every day, though.
  • PinkEarthMama
    PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
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    I am with you on this!

    I'm not talking about slip-ups. I have those. Who doesn't?

    I am FURIOUS when I peek at a friends diary and see things like this :

    1 bag of potato chips
    1 ice cream cone
    4 cups of coffee

    and people are RAVING " Good job coming under calories! "

    I tell ALL people who friend me that I WILL read their diary and I WILL comment. Don't like it? Delete me!
  • lyddsmom
    lyddsmom Posts: 96
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    I never publish my food diary. I don't want anyone making suggestions for me. My diary is so that I can see how I am eating. I don't need random unqualified people telling me how to eat. I'm a big girl and know when I've filled up on junk and when I've had a good day. I enjoy looking at the forums and learn a thing or two but I'm using mfp mainly so I can track my own behavior not so that others can tell me what I'm doing right or wrong. When I have a bad day I can usually figure out why and I make note of it. It is not because I am a total idiot and have no clue how to eat healthy. Instead, it is usually because I am stressed or excited or I went to a party or BBQ or something like that. No random person on mfp is going to know this but ME. Personally I don't think anyone should publish their diaries. Use them to monitor your OWN behavior and to see patterns of problem behavior to change for yourself.
  • AngelsDream4Peace
    AngelsDream4Peace Posts: 116 Member
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    I don't know how many times I've seen a diary where the person has eaten like crap all day (candy, cakes, fast food, etc.) Pure crap! But they manage to come in under their calorie count. So the comments from their so called friends are "WTG!", "Good Job!" , etc.

    STOP! It wasn't a good day. THEY ATE LIKE CRAP! Call them on it! Sure they kept their calories below 1300. But their only claim to vegetables was their taco for lunch! You aren't helping them by rewarding the behavior. Get past the blurb on the screen and actually look into their diary. It takes time, but they're supposed to be your friend, remember?

    And for the bad eater, those so called friends are rewarding poor choices. Drop them like you would an abusive SO. Find friends that will hold you accountable, give you suggestions, and show compassion when you have a bad day or two. Lose the ones that only see the word "under" and think that's the goal. And if you're not sharing your diary with your friends, you're missing one of the best parts of MFP.

    Thank you for your attention.

    My first thought is "what's it to you how they get their calories?" My second thought is, "big words from a tough guy with a closed diary..."

    I could quote a lot of these, but this one is my favorite! Seriously, you should ease up a bit, there are many many many who don't know the healthy eating habits that YOU appear to think you have. And many of us are just starting out and small steps for some are necessary. Not everyone is claiming to be absolutely and completely disciplined, that is why some of us came here to learn from people who are. Teach us, don't yell at us, we need help
  • ehunte
    ehunte Posts: 125 Member
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    I think to each his own. I'm not here to judge what other people eat. If I think my friend ate crap then I just don't comment.
  • frugalmomsrock
    frugalmomsrock Posts: 1,123
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    seriously... I just looked at my early diaries, and it makes me a little bit sick. But I was a noob. I was staying under calories (WAY under-sometimes netting around 0 calories!) o.O Now, though, I think my diary is better most of the time. Except when I have binge issues...

    but that's what got me to this site. And there's some overeating you've done to get you to this site. And her. And him. And him. And even her.

    Jeesh. We all have to start somewhere. By having friends with nice diaries, we learn. I picked up pointers, I straightened myself out (a little), and my diary isn't nearly as bad as it used to be. But I still have snacks and I eat my share of "junk." Tonight for dessert, I had apple blueberry cobbler ala mode. While watching the tube later, I had popcorn and chocolate chips... I'm not perfect. I bet you aren't either.

    But then again--nobody knows. Your diary is closed...

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