My Rant on the Over/Under!

essjay76

2) Even though they may have made some poor choices, coming in under their goal is still a success in my eyes. Could it have been a "better" success with better food choices? Of course! But the way I think of it is, that person probably used to eat that same junk every day - only probably twice as much. The fact that they are monitoring their portions and are aware of how much they consume is still an accomplishment in my eyes. For some people, this is a slow process, one step at a time. It may be that they need to focus solely on calories first, then incorporate healthier choices at time goes on.

Just my two cents :x

I completely agree with this too. That's why, MFP does *NOT* promote "healthy eating", it just promotes calorie counting, keeping track of your food. And if this is a way to get people to cut down on the *amount* of crap they eat first, hey, that's a big step right there! Part of the problem is, people eat way too much than they need to (I know, I've been one of those people!). The bigger problem, especially in the U.S., is that people eat like crap, but that's neither here nor there. Again, MFP isn't like Weight Watchers, where it gives you points for eating more nutritionally sound foods. It strictly provides a tool to keep you within an acceptable caloric intake for your size and activity. That's it.

So, I do applaud people for taking the first step in limiting the amount of crap they eat - instead of a whole pizza, eat 2 slices... instead of a bag of chips, eat two servings... it will produce weight loss. It's also a gateway to promoting more healthy habits... like taking it to the next level and eating better foods (thinking of your health in the long term, not just for immediate gratification)... or feeling healthy enough to exercise more, be more active.

Everyone has a different journey.

LeanerBeef

Every day is not perfect.
Would it kill you to tell someone that is having a crappy day, that their day wasn't so bad.
One size does not fit all.
Is it better to be under on the potato chip diet or over on the fresh chicken diet?
Do I have to scrutinize every person's food diary?
Are my 2 cents(or yours) always necessary?

Shellitz

Support not judgement!

I am not one for the way to go's for food myself but I have had some people chastise me for an entry just because they've happened to stumble on a day that is not all what they deem "diet food". Then again I've had opposite days too when i've been scolded for not eating back all of my calories - some people just judge to make themselves look like experts, I'm sure of it!

Everyone has days when they just didn't have time to prepare a meal so they've grabbed something on the run. And anyway - kudos to them for ACTUALLY logging it at all, at least they are being honest with themselves and not hidiing their 'guilty' snack and not factor it into their cal allowance for the day.

So if you aren't going to be constructive with your critisim and turn it into a supportive action rather than a smack then zip the lip. Why have MFP friends if you aren't going to be nice to each other???

brittanylock09

I don't know how many times I've seen a diary where the person has eaten like crap all day (candy, cakes, fast food, etc.) Pure crap! But they manage to come in under their calorie count. So the comments from their so called friends are "WTG!", "Good Job!" , etc.

STOP! It wasn't a good day. THEY ATE LIKE CRAP! Call them on it! Sure they kept their calories below 1300. But their only claim to vegetables was their taco for lunch! You aren't helping them by rewarding the behavior. Get past the blurb on the screen and actually look into their diary. It takes time, but they're supposed to be your friend, remember?

And for the bad eater, those so called friends are rewarding poor choices. Drop them like you would an abusive SO. Find friends that will hold you accountable, give you suggestions, and show compassion when you have a bad day or two. Lose the ones that only see the word "under" and think that's the goal. And if you're not sharing your diary with your friends, you're missing one of the best parts of MFP.

Thank you for your attention.

I got your back on this one! I like gettin suggestions. that's why I joined. And made mine public. I like having people help me on this journey. and I take the constructive criticism and use it to my advantage. I will ALWAYS look at a diary before I comment. Add some of the friends I got. 95% of them all will comment or will inbox you with suggestions. They really look at your diaries. So if you wanna see some real work bein done! Add my friends

trixirn

Every day is not perfect.
Would it kill you to tell someone that is having a crappy day, that their day wasn't so bad.
One size does not fit all.
Is it better to be under on the potato chip diet or over on the fresh chicken diet?
Do I have to scrutinize every person's food diary?
Are my 2 cents(or yours) always necessary?

^^This. And I never get a WTG when I'm under, what's up with that?? LOL

deniseselah

I opened my diary to my friends as a form of personal accountability. I am responsible for my own choices. I don't lie about what I eat anymore. If I'm mature enough to make the decision, I'm mature enough to make it public. If I down 2 quarter pounders and 4 apple pies, it's going in.

If you told me I had a crap day, you may be right. But I don't know you and don't really care what you think. My first response would be "who is this random dude who doesn't even know me telling me x, y, and z about what I ate?" I've had friends rightly call me on my sodium and water intake. It was annoying, but they were right. AND they were not like "OMG what crap you ate 8000mg sodium WTH!!!!" - more like "good on your cal goal but sodium is high might want to watch that" - MUCH different tone.

I say all that to say this: I'm just learning the difference between being ASHAMED about my choices, and being RESPONSIBLE FOR my choices. In light of that, I put encouraging notes on most diaries I see open - some days it is not easy to hit the goal. Call me a softie. I don't see much difference in what you posted and being judgmental, and i just don't believe in being judgmental.

I do plenty of yelling at myself, and am finally learning that yelling works maybe 10% of the time. I'm not a "get-in-your-face" kind of person. I get the impression that you are. We're all different.

If I am wanting to give someone advice I'll do it through a private message ... and I would not presume to give unsolicited advice unless I'd built a relationship with that person. There are some friends I've only had for a few days and I would certainly not advise them unless they asked. My best friend of 27 years even knows he needs to step off sometimes when I discuss my calorie intake. No one is my policeman but me. Again, I don't open my diary for the sole purpose of receiving comments - I get that people are free to comment, but that's not why I open my diary. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

ETA: And I DO open and look at diaries before I comment even if I am only saying "WTG!"

DataBased

Maybe I get confused easily, but I recall reading numerous posts here that said "A calorie is a calorie" and "I knew a guy that lost 90 pounds eating twinkies and drinking coke" To me, that sounded weird - but okay. I'm a rookie here, and if that's true then okay. I'm learning a lot.

Personally, I try to eat as healthy as possible, but today I wanted to sew and work out. So I served my Hubs (Fresh & Easy) pre-packaged meals which are always full of sodium, regardless of who makes them. So we'll up our water intake. But I rather speak words of encouragement, because I think we're here to build one another up that way.

I learn best from those who can teach without being critical, so I tend to treat others that way. That's just me...

capnwo85

LatinaButterfly

My food diary is private and it's going to stay that way. I'm not on MFP to be criticized or judged for what I choose to eat. To me the "best part" of being on MFP is not reading someone's food diary, it's meeting great people who enjoy being up-building and encouraging to one another on both good and bad days!

brittanylock09

I don't know how many times I've seen a diary where the person has eaten like crap all day (candy, cakes, fast food, etc.) Pure crap! But they manage to come in under their calorie count. So the comments from their so called friends are "WTG!", "Good Job!" , etc.

STOP! It wasn't a good day. THEY ATE LIKE CRAP! Call them on it! Sure they kept their calories below 1300. But their only claim to vegetables was their taco for lunch! You aren't helping them by rewarding the behavior. Get past the blurb on the screen and actually look into their diary. It takes time, but they're supposed to be your friend, remember?

And for the bad eater, those so called friends are rewarding poor choices. Drop them like you would an abusive SO. Find friends that will hold you accountable, give you suggestions, and show compassion when you have a bad day or two. Lose the ones that only see the word "under" and think that's the goal. And if you're not sharing your diary with your friends, you're missing one of the best parts of MFP.

Thank you for your attention.

I got your back on this one! I like gettin suggestions. that's why I joined. And made mine public. I like having people help me on this journey. and I take the constructive criticism and use it to my advantage. I will ALWAYS look at a diary before I comment. Add some of the friends I got. 95% of them all will comment or will inbox you with suggestions. They really look at your diaries. So if you wanna see some real work bein done! Add my friends

I also wanna say that there is a difference between judging and scolding and having no judgement in your heart but simply wanting to help another person b/c maybe they've done the same thing twice in a row so you inbox them and say hey i see this going on I wanna suggest this or see what's going on. oh and that's why I use the note section. no just for myself but for others so they know why I've ate the way I did or why I didnt drink enough water. I guess I was lucky and ran into some good friends on here b/c nobody judges me for doing something wrong they just make heart felt suggestions with no judgement.

Add me if anyone wants. I view diaries, I review them, I'm not perfect on mine either, so I would expect comments back, but I also give comments. Sometimes I will right them on the diary update, but I also might inbox you. I will never write something hurtful. And this is what all of my group of friends do. I don't see why you wouldn't want someone to help you. if you don't want help then don't make it open for people to see but that's a great benefit off this site. people learning off of other people!

essjay76

If people make their diaries public, they're opening themselves up to support,critique, judgment. It's warranted advice once you make it public.

And yes, everyone has bad days. But what about the people who consistently eat like crap? Ho ho's for breakfast, a ding dong for lunch, a box of cookies for dinner? Almost everyday? (Yes, there are people are out there who eat like this!) But again, they've come under their calorie goal, so we should support them... right?

elenathegreat

My thought: Who cares? If they came under their calorie goal than great! Some people start off with learning portion control then slowly making healthier choices. Who are you to say they don't deserve a wtg?

I didn't eat any vegetables today... GASP

does wine count as a serving of fruit?

frugalmomsrock

My thought: Who cares? If they came under their calorie goal than great! Some people start off with learning portion control then slowly making healthier choices. Who are you to say they don't deserve a wtg?

I didn't eat any vegetables today... GASP

does wine count as a serving of fruit?

Yes. Clearly you have just juiced your way into losing weight.

brittanylock09

I'm totally on the same page. I won't call someone out who I know usually keeps a pretty healthy diary. A bad day here or there is normal and to be expected. If I see one of my friends eating like crap for days in a row, you better believe I'll ask them what the deal is. I'm not going to be a meanie head about it, but I will ask.

I don't normally sugar coat things with my friends in real life and on Facebook, why would I do that here? I'm here to lose weight, be supported, and to SUPPORT people. Support, to me, sometimes means you have to call someone out on their *kitten*. If it means I lose MFP friends, so be it. I actually would like when I have a bad day, even if I'm under my calories, for someone asks why I ate like crap. It means they actually CARE and look at my day instead of assuming I did great because of what some blurb says.

*Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

You are awesome!! Right there with you!!

AngelsDream4Peace

My thought: Who cares? If they came under their calorie goal than great! Some people start off with learning portion control then slowly making healthier choices. Who are you to say they don't deserve a wtg?

I didn't eat any vegetables today... GASP

does wine count as a serving of fruit?

I say "HECK YEAH!" LOL

hypersensitiveb

I think its more of a problem that it shows it as a good thing being under but that person might have only eaten 500 calories all day. Then people cheering great job for being under is bad. Who cares if they had desert today?

elenathegreat

My thought: Who cares? If they came under their calorie goal than great! Some people start off with learning portion control then slowly making healthier choices. Who are you to say they don't deserve a wtg?

I didn't eat any vegetables today... GASP

does wine count as a serving of fruit?

You must be right, cuz I feel juiced...

Yes. Clearly you have just juiced your way into losing weight.

AngelsDream4Peace

I think its more of a problem that it shows it as a good thing being under but that person might have only eaten 500 calories all day. Then people cheering great job for being under is bad. Who cares if they had desert today?

This one is dead on, as someone who is struggling hard to recover from an Eating disorder, which is why my diary is locked, only my doctor can see it, but I do not look when mine posts, because I don't want the encouragement for my bad behaviors, which really aren't that bad right now by the way, working hard with the Doctors! But posts like this one from the OP sure don't help people like me! But we all have a right to rant.....

sninny

If I've had a not-so-good day and eaten junk food then I am very much aware of what I've eaten. I don't need someone pointing out that pizza for lunch and a cupcake for snack wasn't a good choice. Duh, I know it wasn't a good choice. Snarky comments about my food diary are neither effective nor appreciated.

donnantx

To each his own (opinion of course) and I will be the first to admit that I am one of "those" people who can eat "crap" and stay around my calorie range and I am one of those people who have struggled to make changes to help me lose the 80 #s I have gained since I got married and quit smoking...but here is WHY I post EXACTLY the crap I eat....because if I dont keep track of the 1500 calories then I MAY have eaten 3000, I look at what I post and try to figure out how I can reduce the calories or that I am drinking way too many of my calories...I appreciate my friends saying good job....I know I could have done better, but I NEED to have a diet that I can live with...if I ate "clean" all the time after years of putting crap in my body I would be a total B**** and would probably be in jail....Changing your life is HARD and a little white lie encourgement isnt that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things...besides I dont know what the persons day is like...they could be a nurse, policeman, firefighter and countless others who work long shifts and maybe that is all they can grab to eat that day

So while you may call them out on that Bud Light they had...I'm gonna say good job for staying in your calorie range and good job for not drinking the six pack. Please feel free to add me as a friend and call me out anytime you feel the need if it makes YOU feel better because believe me...I am all good ::)

StacyNicki

add me cause that's what I need too is someone to hold me accountable

AllanMisner

Really, guys and gals, I think you reading a lot more into it than I initially posted. I'm all for balance and the occasional treat (I enjoy them myself). But seeing a series of WTG and Great Under for someone who is only eating 500 calories a day?

No, I'm not a professional. I'm someone they chose to friend on here. I have opinions, I express them. Easy enough to tell me to mind my own business or unfriend me.

My diary is open to my friends. It is far from ideal, but I own it and invite advice from those with similar goals. I recognize we all have different issues. I pay enough attention to those I follow to know what they're trying to accomplish/overcome.

And finally, I'm not an *kitten* about it. I poke where poking is needed, encourage when that is.

elenathegreat

My thought: Who cares? If they came under their calorie goal than great! Some people start off with learning portion control then slowly making healthier choices. Who are you to say they don't deserve a wtg?

I didn't eat any vegetables today... GASP

does wine count as a serving of fruit?

Crap! I screwed that up...I don't just feel juiced, I am juiced...

Yes. Clearly you have just juiced your way into losing weight.

baycat107

And what's wrong with tacos? Now I eat 2 instead of 3. I get the small fry instead of the medium fry. I get mustard instead of mayo on my Subway sandwich. I cut the cheese on my What-ABurger Jr. To lose weight, a calorie is a calorie. Eat less calories! Along the way, I learn to make better choices. We all know what is healthy and what is not. Our personal goal is ultimately what it is all about. I'm glad I don't have friends like you, who tear me down. I do enough of that on my own.

mamagooskie

I wont call em out but I wont congratulate a sucky diary.

lisakyle_11

hope you feel better now! please don't be peeping at my diary! :flowerforyou:

avafrisbee

I don't like that MFP tells me, after an entry, how much weight I'd lose in 5 weeks if... when I am way under, and it looks much better than when I eat closer to my goal. I think it could be tempting to eat way under to reach that much nicer sounding 5 week goal.

agree. And then that they tell you "so and so was under her goal" I had a day where my net calories were 600 (I ate only about 900). That shouldn't be rewarded.

TanyaCurtis

Lol well as long as I'm under I think I had a good day but that's rarely!!!! And my goal is to eat healthy and stay under, but it's hard, my problem is bingeing, and on horrible foods

DataBased

... But seeing a series of WTG and Great Under for someone who is only eating 500 calories a day?

Oooh, that';s one of my pet peeves too - but for a different reason. My husband went through a medical weight loss program (YES, supervised by 'real doctors') that is geared for the very obese. This program had him taking in only 500 calories a day, in the form of a packet of powder that he was to blend with ice and water. No food. Ever. He stayed on that for a year. It has been a very difficult task to get him to even TRY MFP principles because he now associates extreme deprivation as the only way to battle his obesity.

Having said that, and without implying you've been a jerk to anybody, I go back to my initial view. You encourage people. The majority of folks who have friended me are very nice, and maybe they don't look so deep into what I eat, or care more than just a surface amount about my water intake or exercise levels, but they mean well. Why would I discourage anybody from that?

Do what YOU do - tell people your opinion without being nasty about it; That's a good thing to do. But understand, at the same time, that not everybody is on the same level. You cannot measure everybody by the same yardstick as you measure yourself with. We all start out from different places. You're in a good place. Just work from there with the knowledge that others are ahead of you and still others aren't quite as far as you yet.

Right?

pamperedhen

I am so sorry to hear that this is what has become of the human race! Just let people live their lives and just be concerned with your OWN life and what GOOD you can bring to this world we live in. If we all lived like that what a happy world this would be!:drinker: