Couple Question

AmberJslimsAWAY

I was talking to my boss the other day, and he said he's "not allowed" to go to strip clubs. Now "not allowed" is something all on it's own. Women, is it okay with you if your husband/fiance/boyfriend, goes to a strip club? Men, is it ok with your wife?

I personally don't have a problem with my other half going, never have. And I like to go as well, so if he wants to go, we make it a big ordeal and invite a bunch of friends to go. Lap dances, dollar dances, I don't care. It's all fun. Thoughts?

oneIT

That was a deal breaker, but then again so was going out of the house by myself... Glad thats over now.

AmberJslimsAWAY

That was a deal breaker, but then again so was going out of the house by myself... Glad thats over now.

yuck. sorry

QueenJayJay

Basically, it all comes down to not having the right attitude. Are you a victim, or a spouse/partner?

Monarchy: "I don't/can't do that because my husband won't allow me to."

Marriage: "My husband and I talked [because we would have] and that makes him feel really uncomfortable. Because he explained his reasoning, I can see where he's coming from and I respect the way he feels. Therefore, I choose not to do it."

TheRoadDog

I was talking to my boss the other day, and he said he's "not allowed" to go to strip clubs. Now "not allowed" is something all on it's own. Women, is it okay with you if your husband/fiance/boyfriend, goes to a strip club? Men, is it ok with your wife?

I personally don't have a problem with my other half going, never have. And I like to go as well, so if he wants to go, we make it a big ordeal and invite a bunch of friends to go. Lap dances, dollar dances, I don't care. It's all fun. Thoughts?

I don't make a habit of it. Might hit a strip club 3 or 4 times a year with the guys I ride with. I don't hide it from my wife and she does not care. She's gone with a couple times.

I don't get lap dances. My wife has offered to give me a lap dance on more than one occasion after I get back from the club. I take her up on it every time.

AmberJslimsAWAY

Monarchy: "I don't/can't do that because my husband won't allow me to."

Marriage: "My husband and I talked [because we would have] and that makes him feel really uncomfortable. Because he explained his reasoning, I can see where he's coming from and I respect the way he feels. Therefore, I choose not to do it."

Guess people I know are living in a Monarchy...

helenoftroy1

I wouldn't mind at all. In fact he went once and sat me down and looked all guilty and said he was really sorry he had been to a lap dancing place for someones leaving do. I actually laughed and asked why he felt guilty and in his past relationships he hadn't been allowed to go out, god forbid if he went to a "girlie" place. Made me love him even more.
Cute thing was then he was saying how he hated it and was thinking of me all night.
I know better than to believe that! I hope he had a ball!
Why worry about him looking at cheap hamburgers when he has a fillet steak at home?
If he's going to cheat, me stopping him going from those type of places is not going to help is it?
:smokin:

angied80

I honestly don't have a problem with it. I have been a few times myself. I took my brother there on his 18th birthday. I have been a few times after hours a few years ago when I was partying alot. I wouldn't want my SO to make a habit of it. My boyfriend doesn't really care for them so it isn't an issue in our relationship.

Spinelli2288

I've never understood the minds of women when it comes to this kind of thing. I could never imagine being THAT insecure. My boyfriend and I had our second date at a titty bar...... which was my choice. We go quite often, have a few drinks, a few dances, and just have fun. We are human, no matter what we are going to look at the opposite (or in my case same) sex and find beauty or sexual attraction. I would much rather see a beautiful woman taking her clothes off and dance for me than have some, most likely gay, ripped man do the helicopter in my face. :noway: My boyfriend and I are completely monogamous, we don't have an open relationship or three ways, but he, we, or I can go to a strip club and never have a problem with it. A relationship is about love, trust, and commitment. You shouldn't tell your significant other what they are "allowed" to do and expect a good relationship out of it.

tinamina78

Basically, it all comes down to not having the right attitude. Are you a victim, or a spouse/partner?

Monarchy: "I don't/can't do that because my husband won't allow me to."

Marriage: "My husband and I talked [because we would have] and that makes him feel really uncomfortable. Because he explained his reasoning, I can see where he's coming from and I respect the way he feels. Therefore, I choose not to do it."

^^^ Absolutely this!

csparon

It's not that it's not allowed. My fiance can do whatever he wants, however he respects our relationship enough where he hasn't (to date) gone. I told him if he ever wants to go with the guys, as long as he doesn't try to hide it from me we're ok. And he feels the same way, though I don't find it appealing to go to a male strip club haha. Guys will be guys though and I am ok with whatever he wants, he just says he's not comfortable doing it while he's in a relationship - but the option is there for him.

felice03

I always say, I would rather know and not exactly be thrilled about it than it being done behind my back. I never have had a problems with strip clubs...I've been known to go on an occaision or two. It is about trusting the person you are with...

NeuroticVirgo

I would not personally have a problem with it...but I'm pretty relaxed when it comes to things most people are jealous about.

My husband on the otherhand...I would not be "allowed" to go to one. He is the jealous type, its actually gotten us into quite a few fights because I don't like being told what I can and cannot do. If I'm not cheating on you, spending all our money on drug or some other harmful thing, then leave it be.

added note -

For all of you saying you would choose not to do something because it makes your partner uncomfortable...how far are you willing to take that?

I just feel like there has to be that middle ground, I've known people who are uncomfortable with a lot of things when it comes to their spouse.

Girls/Guys night out? (even if its just movies, shopping etc)
Having a friend of the opposite sex?
Having porn?
Or posters of other women/men (like a picture of carmen electra on a car or something)?
*kitten* (I know someone personally who is uncomfortable with their spouse doing this, considers it a form of cheating) ?

Rosbrook1985

I have no issue what so ever about him going to a strip club, and I hope, he likewise with me. But, I know that he knows things that would make me unhappy. And I know what would make him unhappy. If he didn't want me to do something because it made him unhappy I wouldn't and he's def do the same for me. I would never 'not allow' him to do anything, I would always give him the choice and I think (hope?) that he would chose the right thing

QueenJayJay

I was talking to my boss the other day, and he said he's "not allowed" to go to strip clubs.

P.S. Now I'm wondering why you're talking to your boss about strip clubs...

vim_n_vigor

My husband has gone, things like bachelor parties, a rare night out with all the guys. We have agreen on when it is and isn't acceptable. I have also gone for bachelorette parties, and again, we agreed on when it is and isn't acceptable. If either of us was uncomfortable, then the other wouldn't go, not because we aren't allowed, but because that is the right thing to do when you love someone.

bmxpop

My wife's response:

"I don't care where you get your appetite, just make sure you eat in your own kitchen".

That said, I haven't been to a strip club in several years....I got me a winner!!

AmberJslimsAWAY

I was talking to my boss the other day, and he said he's "not allowed" to go to strip clubs.

P.S. Now I'm wondering why you're talking to your boss about strip clubs...

We were talking about what to do for my Fiance's bday

azlady7

i encouraged my husband to get a job as a bouncer (we needed money badly) so no, i couldnt care less. but then again he never wants to go (i probably would like going more than he would lol), so its a non-issue with us. it seems to me the more the spouse fights against that stuff the more taboo it is therefore the more desirable and becomes worse of a problem than necessary. if you dont trust who your with (strip clubs or not) then you shouldnt be married to them

BAMFMeredith

Personally, I'm not into it and I think they're gross, so I wouldn't be cool with my significant other going to them. However, that's something that I got out there right in the beginning of the relationship, not so much as a "You can't go to strip clubs ever, I forbid it" but when we started dating we figured out what the other person was into/wasn't into, and neither of us are into strip clubs and both think they're gross, so it works out.

It doesn't really have anything to do with trust issues or whatever, I don't consider it cheating or anything like that, I just think it's really gross and trashy (YES, I have been to strip clubs before so my opinion was made AFTER trying it, just my personal opinion, I don't really care what other people do) so I wouldn't be in a relationship with a person who was into something that I found to be gross and trashy, if that makes sense.

But if another couple is into it, or is cool with the other person going to strip clubs, then by all means do what works for YOUR relationship. We're all different!

QueenJayJay

I was talking to my boss the other day, and he said he's "not allowed" to go to strip clubs.

P.S. Now I'm wondering why you're talking to your boss about strip clubs...

We were talking about what to do for my Fiance's bday

Are you gonna do it? :huh:

KimmieBrie

Basically, it all comes down to not having the right attitude. Are you a victim, or a spouse/partner?

Monarchy: "I don't/can't do that because my husband won't allow me to."

Marriage: "My husband and I talked [because we would have] and that makes him feel really uncomfortable. Because he explained his reasoning, I can see where he's coming from and I respect the way he feels. Therefore, I choose not to do it."

This^^^ though for us as a couple= Neither of us frequent those places unless it were some sort of special occasion which we have no issue with... I haven't been in one in years and neither has my husband. I don't see what the big deal is about that type of thing unless your spouse is some sort of strip club addict.

We don't "forbid" things and basically we're independent people who are "allowed" to be ourselves. If we think something might be questionable we have a discussion... if something is going to disturb either of us we have respect for one another and don't commit the disturbing act.

"I'm not allowed to" sounds like a pouting childs response to a parents restriction - not a married adult.

CoryIda

I'm insecure enough about my body that I'd rather not have to add to my insecurity in that manner, but "not allowed" is different than "I would appreciate if you would respect that going would make me uncomfortable"

LHAMON2009

If my husband were to ever go to a strip club he better be prepared for one pissed off wife when he gets back.

QueenJayJay

If my husband were to ever go to a strip club he better be prepared for one pissed off wife when he gets back.

Why?

Steelheart7

When I was younger I had a problem with it and have given the whole "you are not going ever" lol .. now that I am older and have had more relationship experience it doesn't matter so much.

I think I have always had the opinion that those places are trash and the people in them are trash .. so why would I want to be with someone who wants to go to trashy places. Now I just don't care enough for it to matter. Whatever floats your boat.

QueenJayJay

I'm insecure enough about my body that I'd rather not have to add to my insecurity in that manner, but "not allowed" is different than "I would appreciate if you would respect that going would make me uncomfortable"

Oh hot mama, you have nothing to be insecure about

♥PrincessSaraGarcia♥

I vote NO on the strip clubs...

Abells

strip clubs are fun! i say enjoy

dubw

I've been to a few over the years and have always walked away feeling remorse for being there - raunchy is not my thing. Wife used to pole dance in her late teen years. I've offered to buy her a pole but she has long quit grinning about the joke. She probably would not care if I went to a strip club again, would wonder why, and worry about how much money I might spend.

Bonita_Lynne_58

Don't mind if he goes to a strip club...early in marriage it did bother me..I had some growing up to do. I've went with him...He's not sure what to think when I point out the dancers' assets to him.

He never had a problem with me going to see the male strippers either..Always said he enjoyed the benifits when I got home.