How to handle a boy bully against girls?

chu604

Tell your daughter to kick that kid right in the nuts. He won't have the voice or the lol 'balls' to go tell..
You should do the same to his father.

jskaggs1971

I think you need to escalate this with the school. It's happening at school and on the bus, where you as a parent have a reasonable expectation that you kid will not be harassed. Also, you don't know how many other kids this bully is harassing. Sometimes it's hard to be that guy, running to the principal to fix a problem with your kid, but that's how it works now.

I think the school authorities need to know about this, because it sounds like more than the typical "kids are mean" bullying. You have every right to expect a safe environment for your kid. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to be a PITA to the school administration for them to address the issue.

SassyCalyGirl

While my opinion may not be the most popular one, I'll say it anyways.

Tell your daughter to punch him in the face next time he threatens her or bullies her. It may be just the thing to get him off her back.

I would aim a little lower!

YassSpartan

I'm not a father (at least for now) but I have a major philosophy that whoever gets to be the mother of my kids must accept or she won't be the mother of my kids (duhh lol). My kids, both girls and/or boys will get in martial arts as soon as they're old enough. They need to learn how to deal and defend themselves while I'm not around. Karate and Taek Won Do are crap in my opinion, Krav Maga is the way to go. I'll deal with the school and parents after my kids defend themselves.

In regards to the boy's dad, since you know him already, you should seriously confront him about it. Psychological damage is as bad as physical and your girl(s) shouldn't have to deal with the issues other kids have and the lack of control their parents have over them. If they don't know how to educate them, it is their problem as long as they don't affect your kids, otherwise it becomes your problem as well.

Of course, there's no need to be agressive about it. A good serious one on one conversation with him, explaining the the behavior and consequences of his kid's actions and your concern about it should be a good start. If he is smart enough, he'll listen and look for other ways to control his kid.

SinIsIn

I say talk to the school and arrange a meeting with the father at the school. See if that helps.. if not scare the ever living crap out of the kid!?

madamepsychosis

I totally understand why your first reaction would be to want to punch the kid or exchange harsh words with his dad or whatever, but I think that would make both you and your daughter come off worse in the whole scenario. As a trainee teacher, I can say that it's way more likely to get your daughter punished if she did indeed do what some MFP'ers are saying and kick him in the gonads, which would cause those in authority to completely overlook the fact that this child's behaviour needs to be dealt with.

This kid has a history that the school is aware of. That means that even if he stops picking on your daughter, if the school isn't aware of it, he will just carry on the same behaviour to someone else's kids. And if he's never reprimanded for that, then who knows how he could grow up to be? Arrange a meeting with the boy's parents and the school principal. They need to be aware that his behaviour hasn't changed and will hopefully be able to keep a lookout to prevent your daughter from being picked on by this boy.

christina0089

i say get on the bus and call his little *kitten* out. Like Madea! I bet he wont say another word. Of course thats what WE would do at my house. It would happen 1 time. Done.

THIS would be and has been my solution! Catch em face on and let em know whats up! No questions no BS. I don't think he will continue after you have had a word or two with him.

mgmlap

Call the father on it. I mean ...that's what I would do. My daughter has a friend. Whenever we have small group at church....she is in my group. Her mom called me to voice some concerns..which were no concerns at all..but at the end of the day..if this parent is giving your child religious education..you have every right to let them know what their child is doing...

Obviously there is a disconnect between the boy bullying and the father giving CCD classes..if it doesn't get resolved..go to the priest and complain..cause those that are giving our children religious education must stand by those morals that they are teaching!

MMarvelous

While my opinion may not be the most popular one, I'll say it anyways.

Tell your daughter to punch him in the face next time he threatens her or bullies her. It may be just the thing to get him off her back.

This has got to be a SC thing b/c I was going to say I will have my niece Trinity beat him up. LOL

Make an appointment at the school and ask the father to be present. Discuss the issues. If nothing happens, teach your girls how to take out that little boy.

Snakey74

I'd tell your daughter to kick him in the ding-ding.
Someone standing up to him sounds like something he isn't familiar with.

SueInAz

I think it's a bad idea to confront the boy's parents on your own. If they aren't doing anything now, then talking to them alone isn't going to help the situation. I think that your idea of getting the school involved is the right one, especially since this is happening on school property (busses are owned by the school, too.) Set up a conference with the principal, the parents and with the two kids present, as well as anyone else you feel needs to be there (the bus driver, perhaps?). Get everything out in the open and set the expectation that the boy will no longer be allowed anywhere near your daughter or there will be repercussions (detention, suspension, whatever it takes).

In the meantime, if the boy is forced to sit at the front of the bus, have your daughter sit in the back. He should have a hard time bullying her across a noisy school bus.

ETA: I would also pull any of your children out of that CCD class. Have a discussion with the priest to explain why when you request the change. I don't think your family is going to want to have any more involvement with that family than necessary once this goes down.

Kenzietea2

If the school and his parents take it that lightly again, then file a police report. That should get someone's attention.

SueInAz

I'm not a father (at least for now) but I have a major philosophy that whoever gets to be the mother of my kids must accept or she won't be the mother of my kids (duhh lol). My kids, both girls and/or boys will get in martial arts as soon as they're old enough. They need to learn how to deal and defend themselves while I'm not around. Karate and Taek Won Do are crap in my opinion, Krav Maga

My dad is a Shotokan karate and jiu-jitsu instructor and has been since I was old enough to walk. Trust me, it's not only not crap, I've never had a physical problem I couldn't take care of on my own, even at 5'3" and 120 pounds.

plushkitten

First off, fight the fatherly urges to kick someone's *kitten* for treating your little girl poorly, obviously this boy has a history of anger which may be a sign of abuse or the potential signs of a mental illness which means this little boy needs to get professional help. If he knows the "C" word, then he heard it from someone who he is around.

Honestly, most school systems fail to recognize the needs of individual students and apply the codes and laws already set up to them as a whole. i.e, the boy got suspended for week and has to sit behind the bus driver, who is no baby sitter, and nothing more.
I'm not sure of a way you could go about suggesting therapy to the school, but I would definitely report the harassments as if others report too they will accumulate and hopefully it will click with the school that this boy needs special attention.

As far as the dad, I would completely disregard how he disciplines his children as he is setting an example for his child and he is failing to recognize his behavior. Keep in mind, something more may be going on.

Report the harassments, keep tabs on what the school is doing about it, maybe drive your daughters to school for the time being?

I wish you the best of luck with your situation<33
No child deserves to be berated by a peer.

smae1980

While my opinion may not be the most popular one, I'll say it anyways.

Tell your daughter to punch him in the face next time he threatens her or bullies her. It may be just the thing to get him off her back.

this reminded me of one of my early school memories- when I was in kindergarden or first grade, the boy who sat in front of me on the bus used to turn around and make fun of me all the time so one day I got sick of it. When he turned around and made fun of me I kicked him in the face and made him cry. I got in a lot of trouble, but it was the '80s so i didn't get kick out of school. I must say this kid didn't pick on me after that day. I DO NOT recommend this, your story just made me think of it.

BigDaddyBRC

1. Report the incident to the school.
2. Have the Bud Driver report it as well.
IF #2 does not happen...report the bus driver to the school district. You are placing your child in their care once they are on the bus. It is their duty to do so.
2. Contact the kid's parent, if you know who they are, and address it
3. File a report with the local PD...THIS will call out the parents for action
4. Get your kid self defense lessons.

Let your kid know, at any given time, if they feel threatened, make a commotion to get an adult's attention. If nothing happens and the bully persists...kick his *kitten*.

saragato

I say talk to the school and arrange a meeting with the father at the school. See if that helps.. if not scare the ever living crap out of the kid!?

I agree with this. When I was a sophomore in high school I had a boy in my ROTC class who, the first day he was there, tricked me into the library just so he could kiss me. The next day he had the entire class believing it was consensual and we were dating. I thought it would die down and he'd find someone else. A month later the entire school (I was well known because my Aunt was a geometry teacher there) believed we had not only kissed, but had sex in the library, that I had given him oral, and we had sex in empty classrooms during lunch. He was also calling my house every night. When I confronted him, on a Friday, and told him to tell everyone the truth he threatened to kill me. I was hysterical all weekend and my mother and aunt arranged a meeting with the principal on Monday to tell him about the harassment and threat and the same day the police escorted him off school property, he was expelled. They found a knife in his pocket. The sad thing is it started because I offered to help him with getting used to the school and his homework if he had any questions.

If your child is being caused unhappiness by this boy regardless of whether he's doing anything to her right then and his father, a staff member, has not taken care of the problem then you seek out the higher power--his boss, the principal. Yes they suspended him but it hasn't taken care of the problem and you're not paying for your child to attend a school where she's afraid of her peers. Even if nothing more than a bus change gets done, as long as it gives your girl peace of mind that's all that should matter.

ShandiH

Bullying is such a HUGE issue right now and schools are supposed to be stopping this from happening. If they need to provide a helper on the bus to watch the kids then do so. That is what our school district has had to do.

I'm sorry, but schools are supposed to be stopping this from happening? Yes, bullying is a big problem but it is not the schools responsibility to make something stop, especially with all the limitations and fear of being sued.

I agree with the comment to approach the parents. If you feel you can't keep a level head, do what one poster said and set up a meeting with you, the boy's parents and the school. In the end, it is the parent's responsibility to correct/teach their child but the school should be made aware of it. If, no matter what you do, it doesn't stop then maybe teach your daughter a solid right hook.

YassSpartan

I'm not a father (at least for now) but I have a major philosophy that whoever gets to be the mother of my kids must accept or she won't be the mother of my kids (duhh lol). My kids, both girls and/or boys will get in martial arts as soon as they're old enough. They need to learn how to deal and defend themselves while I'm not around. Karate and Taek Won Do are crap in my opinion, Krav Maga

My dad is a Shotokan karate and jiu-jitsu instructor and has been since I was old enough to walk. Trust me, it's not only not crap, I've never had a physical problem I couldn't take care of on my own, even at 5'3" and 120 pounds.

Because he was your dad. I've been to different karate and tae kwon do schools for little kids, and I feel like the parents are wasting so much time taking their kids there. When I was a kid in Cuba, martial arts were martial arts, no joking, no playing around, it was serious business. That's why as far as I've seen, Krav Maga classes are becoming popular, even for kids, because they go straight to the point and learn to defend themselves fast.

Now, I'm not saying ALL schools are crap, but the majority are. And when someone doesn't really have martial arts knowledge, it is hard to spot a good school from a bad one. To a parent, seeing a kid running around throwing kicks seems normal, but it is not.

Btw, jiu jitsu is great (I prefer bjj though) but I like to punch, elbow, kick and knee too.

HeidiRene

I think u r correct to take this seriously. I would talk to the boy's parents and to the school. That is some scary behavior.