MFP Friends... how do you decide who they will be?

papa3x

I don't often solicit MFP friends personally, but when I do it is almost always because something they said in a post is something I can relate to. Or maybe it is something I notice in a photo.

Now, I "know" that I have a HORRIBLE looking avatar photo, that by itself probably steers people away from asking me to be friends... I mean, look at it... it is BAD! But I also want it there for now for motivation.... that was me about 40 pounds ago. I never want to see "that" me again.

So, often I wonder, when I get requests from people, why they decided to ask me.... for some unknown reason, I have a fair amount of young ladies who have requested to be friends with me.... maybe I remind them of their grandfather, LOL.... ( OK, I am only 49, but still ).

Many times I get a request, as I am sure you do, to be friends with someone who has given you no clue why they want to be an MFP friend. So far, I have yet to turn anybody down, but I really do appreciate it when I get at least a small note with the request.

So, how do you decide who you will and won't be friends with? Do you actually turn people down?

Cold_Steel

It is no sweat of my back to accept everyone... they do get removed if they treat it like Facebook and go over every menial detail of their miserable lives...

whitneyann0

I have it written in bold letters on the front of my profile that if you don't send a message with your request that it will be denied. I want friends who are going to support me and that want my support.

I send out friend requests based on replies I see in the forums. If I see someone with similar goals, or maybe they have reached their goal and I want their tips/support/etc. :bigsmile:

srmchargue

For me it's that I have something in common with them. I don't care what the person looks like, if we have a way to connect, then we have a reason to motivate each other and I think that's what MFpals should be about. Currently I've sent several friend requests out to people in my city that are the same sex, age range, and have the same weight loss goal as me. I don't need 100 friends I need a couple of good motivators that get me pumped and that I can in turn help them.

Trophyyf

I see if someone has similar goals and interest. I also like if they have kids like myself. I also like humor and to make light of things and not take things so serious.

Ash_76

its all about support given and recieved,,,,,i couldnt care less about age sex colour or any other aspect that makes me different to anyone else,,,, for that reason i accept everyone

HeidiRene

I accept anyone who asks and then delete (only once or twice maybe) if they start to really get on my nerves. Like excessive, long posts that I can't relate to. I friend people based on humor, politics, similar struggles, similar goals, similar age/weight, proximity to me, intelligence and people that just seem interesting. Sometimes I send a message with the request and sometimes I don't. I love getting messages with requests but the lack of one doesn't make me deny.

mmk137

if you don't send me a message when asking for a request, then you wont be accepted.

have nothing on your profile = no acceptance

don't track for more than 30 days = you will be deleted.

why do I have these rules, well if you aren't going to give me basic information then i can't help you and you can't help me. and if you aren't going to log in then really you aren't committed, and i'd rather not have that 'negativity' kwim.

But other than that, i don't care if where you live, how much you have to loose etc. If I can relate to you in someway you will be accepted as a friend.

D446

I add people who I think have similar SW and GW to me, or people that I find inspirational... I only have femalesas men that have added me aren't very supportive, and the majority of their friends are half naked women which to me says u r just here for a perve....

I often deny people when they do not leave a MSG with their request. I have a private profile so it's not like they have read my profile and decided that we should be friends. Maybe they have liked one of my posts or something, but I would prefer if they would say that in the request. I have quite a small friends list, i like it that way

Elizadolots

I only have a small number of friends, I prefer to keep it that way. I want to be a real support for them and appreciate their support as well. I would usually request if I find someone funny, interesting or if there is something we share in common. Though I would 'clear up' every now and then, deleting those that are not really appropriate anymore, not logging in for a long time etc. Some of them are simply inspiring.

beduffbrickie

Never turn people down, but if they dont log in, or interact, or offer support, or chat rant about anything not fittness related, over the next month then I delete them. I give them a month. some people are friend collectors, I like to keep up and offer support to all of them, so I try and keep it under 100.

KatyE213

I normally add people if I see something they have said on the message boards that I like or can relate to, or some people I have added if they have similar start weight/goals to myself. I have yet to refuse a friend request although it is nice to have just a short message with it saying why they have added you! I will delete people who have not logged in over for a month.

taso42

There is a written test and a physical challenge.

courtneymal17

honestly, I accept everyone, but very rarely request people...I'm shy/fear rejection lol.

Evelyn_Gorfram

.... for some unknown reason, I have a fair amount of young ladies who have requested to be friends with me.... maybe I remind them of their grandfather, LOL....

You remind me of my friend...
...Would you be my grandfather?

..... ( OK, I am only 49, but still ).

I'm also 49. But 49 is still young, right? ...Right? ...RIGHT??? :huh:

tinacc1

There is a written test and a physical challenge.

BAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I think that's my thing...Humour!

I can't manage a lot of friends, but I've only been here a month and a half.
I love MFP, it's great entertainment as well as support, and I love being able
to track everything I eat!

Florawanda

I do now ask for a message, but sometimes get requests without any explanation, so I then send a note asking for a message about how they came across me and why they want to be friends. I haven't turned anyone down, even though it does say on my profile that I'm about at my limit. It's all about support given and received, and I just don't have time to give support to many more than I have at the moment, but some seem to be dropping out of MFP at the moment. I also find that some of my friends are not eating sensibly (if their diaries are open), so I have given up commenting on their diaries - at the end of the day it is their choice. But I will still comment on their exercising and logging.
I have also met friends through the groups - people in UK, people in my age group, people with the same sort of weight to lose, as I can learn so much from them.
And I do feel some of them are becoming real friends!

KMSForLife

I don't typically request friends but if someone requests to be my friend, then I will gladly accept message or no message. However, they have to be supportive. If I never hear anything from them, then I will usually remove them from my friends list. I want to be friends with people that want to talk, listen, and share.

pinuplove

Thus far I have accepted all friend requests. That may change in the future if it becomes too much to keep up with. I gravitate toward topics that I'm interested in (shout out to all my geek friends!) but I don't limit myself to friends that are only similar size/age/fitness level, etc, because I think we can all benefit from a different perspective

Probably 3/4 of my friends requested me. The others are people I had seen around for a while and felt some sense of commonality with. I have deleted 2 people - one who was obviously only here to see what he could get away with, and one for (unfortunately) looking for support for her eating disorder after a nice, well-intentioned note of concern was ignored.

sparkdad

I have been tracking my food and excercise for almost 90 days here and have lost 25 lbs and 3.5 inches on my waist. I only friend real life friends. I have had lost of people try to friend me that look like they are using it as a dating site. I think you should use it however you choose, but in my opinion it is a tool.

Weight Loss Secrets ( don't tell anyone, it is worth millions )

Eat Less + Move More = Weight Loss

Change your lifestyle = weight loss

Slow Loss is the best

shedoos

but very rarely request people...I'm shy/fear rejection lol.

^^this

The people to whom I have sent requests was because of either something I saw that was similar to myself (goals, sense of humor, location, etc), or something I respected/admired (for example, those that have a lot of fitness knowledge).

I also prefer to keep the group small because I try to interact with everyone on my list at least every few days. So yea- if you don't log in for a month (and no reason why) I'm deleting you. I need to feel some sort of connection with my friends.

JoyousRen

I have on my profile that I require a note and a profile picture, even if it isn't of them, so if they don't have either, I'll decline because they didn't bother to read my profile. I used to accept every one though but I wanted to actually know the people on my list and I do write about personal aspects of my life that I may not want just any one to know.

BaconMD

I send out few requests, and most of the ones I did were to fans of Sons of Anarchy, or people who I see consistently posting stuff that makes sense.

I had some requests ignored, so I don't really send many requests. My profile picture scares them away I guess.

heyghoge

truthfully, i think all but a couple (which i solicited off interesting blog posts) friended me first. and i have no idea where they found me. presumably the forums? i am shy. on the internet. which makes no sense, ikr.

charneus

I have yet to send out a friend request, but that's for my own personal reasons.

About 90% of my friends sent a request to me based on a few posts I've posted, as they were motivational in topic and it seemed a number of people were looking for friends like that. That's what makes me happy. I'm not going to turn down someone unless I know they're being destructive in their own goals.

Some people say that they don't want to add someone who don't seem to show support, but what I find wrong with that is sometimes, it's them who need the support, and if everyone turned them down merely because they didn't show support, how is that helping a fellow MFPer accomplish their goal?

When I first joined, I didn't think much about it. I didn't think I'd last long, that it would be a phase and a failure. But the one friend who got me into MFP supported me, even if I wasn't supporting her. As a result, I've now logged in for over 20 days in a row, and her support has given me reason to support others.

And with my support, I find others more willing to support not only me, but their friends, too. It was a wonderful feeling adding 40 friends in a single day, and I haven't regretted it since.

KLo28

I just want to lose weight. I hope this helps me.

AR73

I have not sent any request if someone sends a request I'l approved them.

Is not an issue, we are all here for the same reason.

heathersmilez

I'm up to 7+ pages of friends now and I added/sought-out only 1 page myself (15 people) so my news feed is quite a blur daily but at least its relevant to people like me since I only add like-me people.

Similar Stats:

- Professional working people, preferably no kids
- <15 lbs to lose
- Age 20-45

Similar Fitness Interests:

- Turbo Jam
- Turbo Fire
- Spinning

"Experts" who may fall outside of the above range
- People on MFP who study nutrition in-depth and preferably professionally

I decline people who don’t fall into the above categories (unless they wowed me i.e. compliments with their 'add friend' message) have no profile info, no profile photo or men without a good reason for adding me.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I RARELY, if ever send out a request, with the excption of when I deactivated my old account and started using this one, because I added back some of my old friends.

As far as accepting, if they appear to be a collector (with no msg), I deny. If I notice the person from forums and/or friends in common I'll usually accept. If Ido not recognize them from anywhere and there is no message, I usually deny.

burg1801

There's really no rhythm or reason to it for me. Could be the photo, could be the activities, or could be a forum post/blog that caught my attention.

I try to keep my friends list low so I can manage it properly. I'm not trying to make this Facebook Lite.

tnrown87

It is no sweat of my back to accept everyone... they do get removed if they treat it like Facebook and go over every menial detail of their miserable lives...

Yep