objectified at the gym (rant)

mnichol

I find this an interesting thread. I was just pondering to myself the other day how things change, revert back in society, etc. As a mature woman who grew up in the late 60's, though young women enjoyed their sexuality, they didn't generally find it necessary to look like porn stars to feel attractive and desirable by men. funny how we are not seemingly evolving in a more intellectual way. I find it dissapointing young woman are so influenced my music videos and the music industry itself. It will be interesting how these young woman will raise their daughers!!

altazin0907

Dear members of MFP,

I have never posted a rant/soap-box post, but today at the gym I got so frustrated and I thought this might be a good place to let off some steam. My gym has several very large tv screens at the front of the room with a variety of channels playing at all times. The cardio equipment is facing in the general direction of the screens (like 99% of all gyms).

Anyway, one of the channels is just music videos which correspond to the music playing on the loudspeakers. Generally, I just ignore the loudspeakers and the videos and concentrate on myself, but today it was impossible and I don't need to describe a raunchy music video for you to get the point.

I am not a prude. Really. But there I am, still pudgy and a mite insecure, trying to get my body and my mind to appreciate what a healthy woman looks like while these stick-figure-D-cup-hump-the-screen images are flashing like a neon sign in front of me--> 'ha ha you'.
:frown: :sick: :brokenheart:

So that's my rant. :indifferent:

So have you found any channels that don't show these kinds of women? :huh:

NykkieC

I hear ya! I hate how girls like that are all over TV and are considered an influence to many girls! I wish the message to young girls could be "it's okay to not starve yourself, you don't need breast implants or plastic surgery...just take care of yourself and celebrate who YOU are!"

I also hate how seeing girls like that make me feel sad, like I'll never get there. That is true because I want to be healthy overall, not just skinny.

Great work so far, I must add! :flowerforyou:

Uhhh....what's wrong with implants. :huh: Best money that I ever spent. :bigsmile: I mine.

Well, first I didn't mean to offend you, :flowerforyou: and that's great that you wanted and love your implants! What I meant was for women to think that they have to have them to look like those girls on TV.

1Corinthians13

Interesting thread.

I do know what you mean about showing those videos in a place where we should all feel safe and comfortable working out to be the best we can be. However, you'd be hardpressed to find anything on TV without women looking anything but "perfect." Any TV show - I love Desperate Housewives, but seriously, Terri Hatcher has just gotten too skinny! And yet I watch these shows, look down at myself, and think "yuck. I need to run more."

I don't have the answers - why women do this to themselves. But the fact is that we do. I personally don't know one man who can honestly say he prefers the skinny chicks. Guys I've dated like curves. In fact, my husband told me when I lost my weight that he preferred me with the weight on rather than off. So I objectify myself. I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

Anyway, my point is that I agree - society needs to stop pushing all these twigs on us, but we also need to realize that that's what they are - these women are not the ideal in health and beauty.

jtintx

Until women quit making objects out of themselves men will continue to look at us as objects.

I stand by my statement.

And just to make sure there is no confusion Pixiestick I did not mean to suggest that you did anything wrong.

And bathedinshadow, no I don't need any courses in women's study. Just because something can't be eliminated completely doesn't mean it can't be radically changed. Look at racism as an example...although not the same...but we have come a long way in that dept.

As long as there are women who are willing to leave nothing to the imagination then the rest of us will have to live with the consequences. If we don't respect our selves how can we expect others to respect us?

msarro

Until women quit making objects out of themselves men will continue to look at us as objects.

I actually have to agree about this a bit.

Women do, in many cases, go out of their way to objectify themselves though not always on purpose, a lot of it is rooted human behavior. They put in makeup and lipstick (most of which have biological reasonings and connotations, for instance red lips = skin flushed with blood = a state of arousal). They'll wear high heels to accentuate their legs and lift their bums (which in animal behavior is an indicator of willingness to mate) - despite the fact that wearing high heels has been known to actually cause damage to bone structure in the feet and legs. Both of these are signals, that in nature, say "Hey! I'm a potential mate! Compete for me!"

They turn you into a prize, and in turn, an object, even if you don't consciously mean it to. I'm not worried about women's studies, I'm more concerned about biology and psychology.

Some women take it to an extreme, and they ruin it for the rest of you.

As for showing it in a gym, that's idiotic. I'd ask them to please use a different channel? If it makes you uncomfortable, it probably makes some other people uncomfortable.

1Corinthians13

[They'll wear high heels to accentuate their legs and lift their bums (which in animal behavior is an indicator of willingness to mate) - despite the fact that wearing high heels has been known to actually cause damage to bone structure in the feet and legs.

Just for the record, I wear heels because they make me feel pretty. And sometimes sexy.

I shoes....

*sigh*

Iceprincessk25

I hear ya! I hate how girls like that are all over TV and are considered an influence to many girls! I wish the message to young girls could be "it's okay to not starve yourself, you don't need breast implants or plastic surgery...just take care of yourself and celebrate who YOU are!"

I also hate how seeing girls like that make me feel sad, like I'll never get there. That is true because I want to be healthy overall, not just skinny.

Great work so far, I must add! :flowerforyou:

Uhhh....what's wrong with implants. :huh: Best money that I ever spent. :bigsmile: I mine.

Well, first I didn't mean to offend you, :flowerforyou: and that's great that you wanted and love your implants! What I meant was for women to think that they have to have them to look like those girls on TV.

I know...I was just giving you *kitten*. :flowerforyou:

Iceprincessk25

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

Iceprincessk25

[They'll wear high heels to accentuate their legs and lift their bums (which in animal behavior is an indicator of willingness to mate) - despite the fact that wearing high heels has been known to actually cause damage to bone structure in the feet and legs.

Just for the record, I wear heels because they make me feel pretty. And sometimes sexy.

I shoes....

*sigh*

I wear heels because I have a DEEP OBSESSION with shoes!!! In my next home I just want one room to display all my shoes on shelves! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

1Corinthians13

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

So, so true.

1Corinthians13

[They'll wear high heels to accentuate their legs and lift their bums (which in animal behavior is an indicator of willingness to mate) - despite the fact that wearing high heels has been known to actually cause damage to bone structure in the feet and legs.

Just for the record, I wear heels because they make me feel pretty. And sometimes sexy.

I shoes....

*sigh*

I wear heels because I have a DEEP OBSESSION with shoes!!! In my next home I just want one room to display all my shoes on shelves! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

It's a girl thing. Sex and the City - the movie - THAT CLOSET!

I want it!

Iceprincessk25

I'm glad someoe else understands. :bigsmile: :flowerforyou:

NykkieC

I hear ya! I hate how girls like that are all over TV and are considered an influence to many girls! I wish the message to young girls could be "it's okay to not starve yourself, you don't need breast implants or plastic surgery...just take care of yourself and celebrate who YOU are!"

I also hate how seeing girls like that make me feel sad, like I'll never get there. That is true because I want to be healthy overall, not just skinny.

Great work so far, I must add! :flowerforyou:

Uhhh....what's wrong with implants. :huh: Best money that I ever spent. :bigsmile: I mine.

Well, first I didn't mean to offend you, :flowerforyou: and that's great that you wanted and love your implants! What I meant was for women to think that they have to have them to look like those girls on TV.

I know...I was just giving you *kitten*. :flowerforyou:

Haha, I'm glad!

jtintx

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

Not ALL women do this. I couldn't care less about what other women' are or aren't wearing. But there have been MANY times when I've noticed I'm being critiqued by another woman. I can see their eyes moving from my hair down to my shoes. It drives me crazy! Sometimes I just want to say, "Well, did I pass your snob test?"

chulie

Ya know...I gotta say, much like everyone else, VERY interesting thread. I love how this started with a rant, as we are all prone to do now and again, and what followed was 2 pages of blaming, women , society, psychological behaviors,men and everyone else in between. PERSONALLY, just to weight in. I think we need to stop blaming EVERYONE else, it is such a gut reaction to blame the skinny girl with boobs making her a victim under the "man".........seriously...it was a choice she made to be in that video and wether its psychology or lack of a father figure in her life growing up that makes her want to show her body off like this....its HER choice. We can run around crying victim for the rest of our lives, or, realize that this was a choice that she made, me, I wouldn't do it, so I don't..simple as that. We can list pages and pages of reasons WHY people do the things they do and get quite detailed but at the end of the day. The choice is yours. So dont take what she does personally..you dont like it, turn it off...dont let someone elses choices justify who you are....you decide who you are...Someone asked about how we'll raise our kids? I'll raise my daughter to take responsibilty for her own choices in life, to respect her body, but not spend her life worrying about what everyone else is doing...her life is her own. Like my dad used to say "Take the log out of your own eye before you take the speck outta someone elses".

I have a friend who is going through a rough time right now. Growing up, he was dealt a bit of a crappy hand...but he uses that as an excuse for EVERYTHING....seriously..i wasnt born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I did the best with what I was given and was greatful for having a loving family....he LOOOVES to play the victim and has done so for his entire life...after years of listening to him complain it's like, when are you going to stop blaming everyone else for your problems, take some responsibility for things and decide to take a step in the right direction!! Well..turned into a rant of my own....who knew! sorry!:ohwell:

Phoenix_Rising

Personal accountability is great, but you cannot downplay the role socialization plays in our personal choices. Societal influences mold us to make these decisions. I do have the personal choice to dance around in booty shorts or not dance around in booty shorts; however my culture and background have shaped the choices I will make in life.

Phoenix_Rising

Personal accountability is great, but you cannot downplay the role socialization plays in our personal choices. Societal influences mold us to make these decisions. I do have the personal choice to dance around in booty shorts or not dance around in booty shorts; however my culture and background have shaped the choices I will make in life.

HAHAHAHAHAHA
I thought I was posting on the Burger King commercial thread!!! :laugh:
I think I can leave my comment. I think it applies to both.....

heather93277

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

Not ALL women do this. I couldn't care less about what other women' are or aren't wearing. But there have been MANY times when I've noticed I'm being critiqued by another woman. I can see their eyes moving from my hair down to my shoes. It drives me crazy! Sometimes I just want to say, "Well, did I pass your snob test?"

I agree, I don't do this at ALL!! I don't give a rat's *kitten* what people wear... as long as they are clothed enough to not make my kids ask me questions :noway: I'm sorry, but I'm a mom. An at home mom at that, and part of being in a one-income-family is to cut corners, so I don't wear designer clothes and flaunt my ta-ta's every chance I get, even though they are very nice LOL. :laugh: I don't care to watch shows on tv that are all about who has what material things. I just think there are so many more important things in life.

All that being said, back to the original post, this is all a huge part of why I love working out at home, in the privacy of my own living room. No one to stare at me, no one around judging me... just me and my own personal space. Makes me happy :bigsmile:

1Corinthians13

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

Not ALL women do this. I couldn't care less about what other women' are or aren't wearing. But there have been MANY times when I've noticed I'm being critiqued by another woman. I can see their eyes moving from my hair down to my shoes. It drives me crazy! Sometimes I just want to say, "Well, did I pass your snob test?"

I agree, I don't do this at ALL!! I don't give a rat's *kitten* what people wear... as long as they are clothed enough to not make my kids ask me questions :noway: I'm sorry, but I'm a mom. An at home mom at that, and part of being in a one-income-family is to cut corners, so I don't wear designer clothes and flaunt my ta-ta's every chance I get, even though they are very nice LOL. :laugh: I don't care to watch shows on tv that are all about who has what material things. I just think there are so many more important things in life.

All that being said, back to the original post, this is all a huge part of why I love working out at home, in the privacy of my own living room. No one to stare at me, no one around judging me... just me and my own personal space. Makes me happy :bigsmile:

Maybe when I'm a mommy, I won't worry so much. It's not always a concious thing...it rarely is. I had a lot of problems growing up - every single year from the time I was in 4th grade through 10th grade, my "best friends" turned around and stabbed me in the back, calling me all sorts of names, making fun of my Kmart clothes, you name it...they did it. Even had a girl "friend" write me letters from a "secret admirer" giving me back-handed compliments like how he (she) loved my frizzy curls or the gap between my front teeth or the faded chicken pox scars on my forehead. No, this is no excuse for me to eye up every woman I come across, and actually, I have worked hard on this and don't do it quite as often as I did. I realize that I did it more when my husband and I were together than I do now - despite the fact that he constantly told me I was beautiful. Hm, wonder what that says about our marriage. I guess I always knew he had wondering eyes....

I'm rambling. I'll stop now. Sorry!