objectified at the gym (rant)

1Corinthians13

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

So, so true.

1Corinthians13

[They'll wear high heels to accentuate their legs and lift their bums (which in animal behavior is an indicator of willingness to mate) - despite the fact that wearing high heels has been known to actually cause damage to bone structure in the feet and legs.

Just for the record, I wear heels because they make me feel pretty. And sometimes sexy.

I shoes....

*sigh*

I wear heels because I have a DEEP OBSESSION with shoes!!! In my next home I just want one room to display all my shoes on shelves! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

It's a girl thing. Sex and the City - the movie - THAT CLOSET!

I want it!

Iceprincessk25

I'm glad someoe else understands. :bigsmile: :flowerforyou:

NykkieC

I hear ya! I hate how girls like that are all over TV and are considered an influence to many girls! I wish the message to young girls could be "it's okay to not starve yourself, you don't need breast implants or plastic surgery...just take care of yourself and celebrate who YOU are!"

I also hate how seeing girls like that make me feel sad, like I'll never get there. That is true because I want to be healthy overall, not just skinny.

Great work so far, I must add! :flowerforyou:

Uhhh....what's wrong with implants. :huh: Best money that I ever spent. :bigsmile: I mine.

Well, first I didn't mean to offend you, :flowerforyou: and that's great that you wanted and love your implants! What I meant was for women to think that they have to have them to look like those girls on TV.

I know...I was just giving you *kitten*. :flowerforyou:

Haha, I'm glad!

jtintx

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

Not ALL women do this. I couldn't care less about what other women' are or aren't wearing. But there have been MANY times when I've noticed I'm being critiqued by another woman. I can see their eyes moving from my hair down to my shoes. It drives me crazy! Sometimes I just want to say, "Well, did I pass your snob test?"

chulie

Ya know...I gotta say, much like everyone else, VERY interesting thread. I love how this started with a rant, as we are all prone to do now and again, and what followed was 2 pages of blaming, women , society, psychological behaviors,men and everyone else in between. PERSONALLY, just to weight in. I think we need to stop blaming EVERYONE else, it is such a gut reaction to blame the skinny girl with boobs making her a victim under the "man".........seriously...it was a choice she made to be in that video and wether its psychology or lack of a father figure in her life growing up that makes her want to show her body off like this....its HER choice. We can run around crying victim for the rest of our lives, or, realize that this was a choice that she made, me, I wouldn't do it, so I don't..simple as that. We can list pages and pages of reasons WHY people do the things they do and get quite detailed but at the end of the day. The choice is yours. So dont take what she does personally..you dont like it, turn it off...dont let someone elses choices justify who you are....you decide who you are...Someone asked about how we'll raise our kids? I'll raise my daughter to take responsibilty for her own choices in life, to respect her body, but not spend her life worrying about what everyone else is doing...her life is her own. Like my dad used to say "Take the log out of your own eye before you take the speck outta someone elses".

I have a friend who is going through a rough time right now. Growing up, he was dealt a bit of a crappy hand...but he uses that as an excuse for EVERYTHING....seriously..i wasnt born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I did the best with what I was given and was greatful for having a loving family....he LOOOVES to play the victim and has done so for his entire life...after years of listening to him complain it's like, when are you going to stop blaming everyone else for your problems, take some responsibility for things and decide to take a step in the right direction!! Well..turned into a rant of my own....who knew! sorry!:ohwell:

Phoenix_Rising

Personal accountability is great, but you cannot downplay the role socialization plays in our personal choices. Societal influences mold us to make these decisions. I do have the personal choice to dance around in booty shorts or not dance around in booty shorts; however my culture and background have shaped the choices I will make in life.

Phoenix_Rising

Personal accountability is great, but you cannot downplay the role socialization plays in our personal choices. Societal influences mold us to make these decisions. I do have the personal choice to dance around in booty shorts or not dance around in booty shorts; however my culture and background have shaped the choices I will make in life.

HAHAHAHAHAHA
I thought I was posting on the Burger King commercial thread!!! :laugh:
I think I can leave my comment. I think it applies to both.....

heather93277

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

Not ALL women do this. I couldn't care less about what other women' are or aren't wearing. But there have been MANY times when I've noticed I'm being critiqued by another woman. I can see their eyes moving from my hair down to my shoes. It drives me crazy! Sometimes I just want to say, "Well, did I pass your snob test?"

I agree, I don't do this at ALL!! I don't give a rat's *kitten* what people wear... as long as they are clothed enough to not make my kids ask me questions :noway: I'm sorry, but I'm a mom. An at home mom at that, and part of being in a one-income-family is to cut corners, so I don't wear designer clothes and flaunt my ta-ta's every chance I get, even though they are very nice LOL. :laugh: I don't care to watch shows on tv that are all about who has what material things. I just think there are so many more important things in life.

All that being said, back to the original post, this is all a huge part of why I love working out at home, in the privacy of my own living room. No one to stare at me, no one around judging me... just me and my own personal space. Makes me happy :bigsmile:

1Corinthians13

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

Not ALL women do this. I couldn't care less about what other women' are or aren't wearing. But there have been MANY times when I've noticed I'm being critiqued by another woman. I can see their eyes moving from my hair down to my shoes. It drives me crazy! Sometimes I just want to say, "Well, did I pass your snob test?"

I agree, I don't do this at ALL!! I don't give a rat's *kitten* what people wear... as long as they are clothed enough to not make my kids ask me questions :noway: I'm sorry, but I'm a mom. An at home mom at that, and part of being in a one-income-family is to cut corners, so I don't wear designer clothes and flaunt my ta-ta's every chance I get, even though they are very nice LOL. :laugh: I don't care to watch shows on tv that are all about who has what material things. I just think there are so many more important things in life.

All that being said, back to the original post, this is all a huge part of why I love working out at home, in the privacy of my own living room. No one to stare at me, no one around judging me... just me and my own personal space. Makes me happy :bigsmile:

Maybe when I'm a mommy, I won't worry so much. It's not always a concious thing...it rarely is. I had a lot of problems growing up - every single year from the time I was in 4th grade through 10th grade, my "best friends" turned around and stabbed me in the back, calling me all sorts of names, making fun of my Kmart clothes, you name it...they did it. Even had a girl "friend" write me letters from a "secret admirer" giving me back-handed compliments like how he (she) loved my frizzy curls or the gap between my front teeth or the faded chicken pox scars on my forehead. No, this is no excuse for me to eye up every woman I come across, and actually, I have worked hard on this and don't do it quite as often as I did. I realize that I did it more when my husband and I were together than I do now - despite the fact that he constantly told me I was beautiful. Hm, wonder what that says about our marriage. I guess I always knew he had wondering eyes....

I'm rambling. I'll stop now. Sorry!

weaklink109

Corinthians- I have enjoyed reading your posts and other in this thread, and when I noticed you had your blog website address as part of your signature, I went to see what you might have on it, but it is set to private. If this is intentional, no problemo, but since you have your blog address included on your signature, I thought it might not have been intentional and wanted to mention it.

I agree with the person who said it is idiotic to have the sort of video playing that you described. I hope you will strike a blow for all those who can live without that kind of stuff "in your face" and make a complaint.

1Corinthians13

Corinthians- I have enjoyed reading your posts and other in this thread, and when I noticed you had your blog website address as part of your signature, I went to see what you might have on it, but it is set to private. If this is intentional, no problemo, but since you have your blog address included on your signature, I thought it might not have been intentional and wanted to mention it.

I agree with the person who said it is idiotic to have the sort of video playing that you described. I hope you will strike a blow for all those who can live without that kind of stuff "in your face" and make a complaint.

Thanks...it's private for a reason, and I forgot to take the link off my signature. I might make it public again at a later time, but we'll see. Thanks for the reminder!

e11xoxo

I'm sure that if you mention it to management they'll help you out. You probably won't even have to go into the "women being flaunted on TV" bit because who knows? Maybe that's motivating the guys in your gym to work harder. :laugh: You can just ask if a survey can be taken for channels members would like to watch. My gym in college did that for channels and radio stations.

This thread reminds me of Dave Chappelle's stand-up. "Women's breast popping out of their turtle necks."

mkwood10

This is one of the reasons Curves has done so well.

I agree completely! You can walk into any Curves, anywhere and find women from their teens to their 80's and NOBODY puts anyone else down for what they look like

piesh

I do not know any men that like anoreic D cup women...NONE

so you are doing the same thing you are complaining about

The guys I work with love women like that. I have to listen to it a lot, which can hurt. They talk about it around me because they don't see me as female I guess. So I have to listen to their comments about the women in the office and on the screen. There are a lot of beautiful women in my office but they sit and argue about if any of them are actually fine or not and then some woman will come on the TV (we have them all over my office) and they start going on and on about her and how they wish they could find a woman like that and comparing her to women in the office and stuff.

I know not ALL men do, but it's hard when the group that does (how large or how small that group is I have no idea) are in charge of putting up the image of "the perfect woman". Kinda sucks that TV doesn't celebrate anything else as beautiful except on Oprah or Oxygyn. Which doesn't help women to have other women that aren't the "perfect image" tell them they're still beautiful and it's ok. LOL

I can't say any one group is at fault necessarily because I think the one feeds the other and it's a viscious cycle I'd love to see broken at some point but it'll never happen. I just don't understand the draw to someone who looks that fake. I also understand feeling hurt from it. I don't think guys are made to feel that way too. Not that they should, but I don't understand how things got so far out of control for women. It's very sad really. And as long as there are a group of women who can get themselves like that they will because they like the attention and the money. And so it continues.

Sorry, didn't mean to single out your post necessarily, just wanted to jump in and give my two cents (or $0.50).

Phoenix_Rising

I can't say any one group is at fault necessarily because I think the one feeds the other and it's a viscious cycle I'd love to see broken at some point but it'll never happen. I just don't understand the draw to someone who looks that fake. I also understand feeling hurt from it. I don't think guys are made to feel that way too. Not that they should, but I don't understand how things got so far out of control for women. It's very sad really. And as long as there are a group of women who can get themselves like that they will because they like the attention and the money. And so it continues.

Current statistics show a rise in eating disorders and body dysmorphia in males now. Society is leveling the playing field, making males feel insecure about their physiques as well..... but sadly two wrongs never make a right.

Shannon023

Until women quit making objects out of themselves men will continue to look at us as objects.

I believe I was just generalized.:sad:

:laugh: :laugh:

So now's not the time to ask you to fetch me a beer??? :huh:

piesh

[They'll wear high heels to accentuate their legs and lift their bums (which in animal behavior is an indicator of willingness to mate) - despite the fact that wearing high heels has been known to actually cause damage to bone structure in the feet and legs.

Just for the record, I wear heels because they make me feel pretty. And sometimes sexy.

I shoes....

*sigh*

I wear heels because I have a DEEP OBSESSION with shoes!!! In my next home I just want one room to display all my shoes on shelves! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

*sigh* I must be one of the only women who doesn't obsess about shoes. I have a couple pair I guess, but I really only wear a couple. I avoid makeup and anything associated with women making themselves "pretty". I think it's because I feel like people would laugh at me for trying to look pretty. I almost imagine them saying, "I don't know why she even tries, nothing can help that."

Sometimes I wish I had the money (because I'd have to expand my wardrobe too), knowledge, and confidence to get some of the prettier shoes I see. Then again it must save me TONS of time getting ready in the morning.

piesh

Personal accountability is great, but you cannot downplay the role socialization plays in our personal choices. Societal influences mold us to make these decisions. I do have the personal choice to dance around in booty shorts or not dance around in booty shorts; however my culture and background have shaped the choices I will make in life.

HAHAHAHAHAHA
I thought I was posting on the Burger King commercial thread!!! :laugh:
I think I can leave my comment. I think it applies to both.....

I'm now very curious what dancing around in booty shorts has to do with Burger King. :laugh:

piesh

I can't say any one group is at fault necessarily because I think the one feeds the other and it's a viscious cycle I'd love to see broken at some point but it'll never happen. I just don't understand the draw to someone who looks that fake. I also understand feeling hurt from it. I don't think guys are made to feel that way too. Not that they should, but I don't understand how things got so far out of control for women. It's very sad really. And as long as there are a group of women who can get themselves like that they will because they like the attention and the money. And so it continues.

Current statistics show a rise in eating disorders and body dysmorphia in males now. Society is leveling the playing field, making males feel insecure about their physiques as well..... but sadly two wrongs never make a right.

That really sucks. It's sad that now EVERYONE is going to have to go through it. Not the say there weren't guys going through it before or even now, but it didn't seem as pervasive as it is for women yet. Of course you did say a rise which means it may not be as bad yet? One can hope.

JoyousMaximus

Back to original post about being dissatisfied with what is playing on the television at the gym, have you tried asking a gym employee to change the station?? Most the gyms I have been at will change the channel for you. All that is on the TVs at the gym I work out at are sports, sports, and more sports but when ever I ask to have the channel changed they are really nice about changing it to something more interesting.

Iceprincessk25

[They'll wear high heels to accentuate their legs and lift their bums (which in animal behavior is an indicator of willingness to mate) - despite the fact that wearing high heels has been known to actually cause damage to bone structure in the feet and legs.

Just for the record, I wear heels because they make me feel pretty. And sometimes sexy.

I shoes....

*sigh*

I wear heels because I have a DEEP OBSESSION with shoes!!! In my next home I just want one room to display all my shoes on shelves! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

*sigh* I must be one of the only women who doesn't obsess about shoes. I have a couple pair I guess, but I really only wear a couple. I avoid makeup and anything associated with women making themselves "pretty". I think it's because I feel like people would laugh at me for trying to look pretty. I almost imagine them saying, "I don't know why she even tries, nothing can help that."

Sometimes I wish I had the money (because I'd have to expand my wardrobe too), knowledge, and confidence to get some of the prettier shoes I see. Then again it must save me TONS of time getting ready in the morning.

It definitely does save you some time! :happy:

I have two sides of me I guess. I can fit in real well in my all male hockey locker room as the athletic trainer and be as crude as the next guy and then there's the side of me that LOVES makeup, shoes, purses, shopping, putting on make up, doing my hair etc. :bigsmile:

I'm versatile.

FluffnStuff

The thing that is sad... my 6 yearold thinks she's "fat" because of how kids talk at her kindergarten.
(She's almost underweight for her age...but looks healthy compared to MOST kids her age.)
Which, a lot of them learned their self-image issues from their parents.
I workout and try to eat healthier... but don't make a HUGE deal about it.
I don't talk about being "fat" or anything like that.
It's just really sad to see it shaping kids so young.

czewwhat

I guess I just don"t get it, I'm 53, In my younger days could drop jaws just by walking through a room. And I liked it a lot! I am going to get in my best shape ever before this is over and I promised myself, I will drop jaws again! Is that being objectified? It is not for those who will drop their jaws, it is for me! I love my 6 inch heals, makeup, tight fitting Suzie Wong Mandarin dress and anything else I want to wear! I can rock a pair of skin tight Von Dutch low rise jeans with the best of them, it was never for them, it is for me! Ladies my best advice is enjoy your life, if you don't like Trashy Lingerie don't buy it! Personally I feel very sexy in my own skin and I like that my husband likes it too. Every creature on the planet struts it's stuff for the opposite sex, why are humans supposed to be different?

pixiestick

Every creature on the planet struts it's stuff for the opposite sex, why are humans supposed to be different?

you make an interesting point. At an animal level, I suppose the girls on the screen are more tantalizing as objects of copulation. I'm just not sure that I want to be reduced to an animal level.

And I don't think it's wrong for a girl to dress up and look pretty... but I was talking about girls in string bikini's humping the screen and each other and all manner of niceties. This wasn't about the shoes they were (or were not) wearing of if they had on makeup to accentuate their feminine features. My problem was with the idea behind a gym where people are supposed to go for health and having this unhealthy portrayal of women being flaunted for all to see.

I also agree about the men. Those music vids have these guys with rock-hard bods, without a single ounce of fat or a single hair, and the poor kid at the gym trying to work out his biceps is supposed to think what... ?

It's just not healthy.

wildkat318

I'm right there with you! by implants... my shoes! :bigsmile:

wildkat318

I admit to walking into a room of women, glancing around, and scoping my competition. I don't think I'm snotty about it at all, but I do check out other women. My husband once made a comment that I check out women more than he does.

What woman DOESN'T do this. We all do. When we get dressed we don't get dressed for some guy. We get dressed to impress other ladies!! :laugh:

Not ALL women do this. I couldn't care less about what other women' are or aren't wearing. But there have been MANY times when I've noticed I'm being critiqued by another woman. I can see their eyes moving from my hair down to my shoes. It drives me crazy! Sometimes I just want to say, "Well, did I pass your snob test?"

I agree, I don't do this at ALL!! I don't give a rat's *kitten* what people wear... as long as they are clothed enough to not make my kids ask me questions :noway: I'm sorry, but I'm a mom. An at home mom at that, and part of being in a one-income-family is to cut corners, so I don't wear designer clothes and flaunt my ta-ta's every chance I get, even though they are very nice LOL. :laugh: I don't care to watch shows on tv that are all about who has what material things. I just think there are so many more important things in life.

All that being said, back to the original post, this is all a huge part of why I love working out at home, in the privacy of my own living room. No one to stare at me, no one around judging me... just me and my own personal space. Makes me happy :bigsmile:

Yes! I never thought I'd like working out at home...turns out I love it! I never thought I was competitive or self-conscious but working out at home allows me to concentrate on me only. I get to notice how much better I'm doing this time around or many more reps I got in. It's made an amazing difference! :drinker:

czewwhat

Every creature on the planet struts it's stuff for the opposite sex, why are humans supposed to be different?

you make an interesting point. At an animal level, I suppose the girls on the screen are more tantalizing as objects of copulation. I'm just not sure that I want to be reduced to an animal level.

And I don't think it's wrong for a girl to dress up and look pretty... but I was talking about girls in string bikini's humping the screen and each other and all manner of niceties. This wasn't about the shoes they were (or were not) wearing of if they had on makeup to accentuate their feminine features. My problem was with the idea behind a gym where people are supposed to go for health and having this unhealthy portrayal of women being flaunted for all to see.

I also agree about the men. Those music vids have these guys with rock-hard bods, without a single ounce of fat or a single hair, and the poor kid at the gym trying to work out his biceps is supposed to think what... ?

It's just not healthy.

Not to be argumentative or disrespectful, I wish I looked like some of those gals, and I am positive some guys wished they looked like the rock hard ab guys. They sure spend a lot of time at the free weights looking in the mirror! But, would it be easier to watch a work out video with oh............... the Biggest Looser Cast huffing puffing and sweating as they whince through each treadmill session. I agree with the earlier posting, ask the gym to change the channel, your work out should be comfortable for you. The group Step aerobics class at my gym has an instructor that looks like the rock hard gals, she wears a thong cut leotard over her work out pants, should I ask her to cover up because I am not fit like her or her work out clothing looks better than mine? Isn't it just a little bit of self confidence that might be at play here? Be there for yourself, but don't censor the TV programming of others either, there is the possibility that you just don't watch what you don't like also.

bathedinshadow

Until women quit making objects out of themselves men will continue to look at us as objects.

I stand by my statement.

And just to make sure there is no confusion Pixiestick I did not mean to suggest that you did anything wrong.

And bathedinshadow, no I don't need any courses in women's study. Just because something can't be eliminated completely doesn't mean it can't be radically changed. Look at racism as an example...although not the same...but we have come a long way in that dept.

As long as there are women who are willing to leave nothing to the imagination then the rest of us will have to live with the consequences. If we don't respect our selves how can we expect others to respect us?

And I don't think that it will ever be eliminated completely. But you have to go to the source as with any issue. And women objectifying themselves, is not the source. It's a contributer, but not the source. I guess all my women's studies classes and phycology courses don't hold up here, but as a woman, I can say I do not objectify myself and still it surrounds me. I think this is the end of this topic for me though, as I can see this is going to be a case of constant disagreement.

1Corinthians13

I guess I just don"t get it, I'm 53, In my younger days could drop jaws just by walking through a room. And I liked it a lot! I am going to get in my best shape ever before this is over and I promised myself, I will drop jaws again! Is that being objectified? It is not for those who will drop their jaws, it is for me! I love my 6 inch heals, makeup, tight fitting Suzie Wong Mandarin dress and anything else I want to wear! I can rock a pair of skin tight Von Dutch low rise jeans with the best of them, it was never for them, it is for me! Ladies my best advice is enjoy your life, if you don't like Trashy Lingerie don't buy it! Personally I feel very sexy in my own skin and I like that my husband likes it too. Every creature on the planet struts it's stuff for the opposite sex, why are humans supposed to be different?

Amen, sister! I don't know that I drop jaws, but I get my share of compliments and eat it up. I love to feel sexy and classy and beautiful...and why shouldn't I? That doesn't make me feel objectified.

I have to say I really can't think of a time I really feel objectified...unless maybe when I'm out dancing and some gross guy just assumes he has the right to come grinding up behind me...um..no...yuck. I'll dance with you the way I wanna dance with you IF I wanna dance with you -otherwise, assume I'm dancing with my girlfriends! haha