Sarcastic, middle aged and a grammar grouch.

Xiaolongbao

Someone who doesn't feel the need to vomit rainbows all over my successes and failures? It's a miracle!

I shall endeavour to work the phrase "vomit rainbows" into at least one conversation per day for the foreseeable future.

cmriverside

This is the best thread ever.



If you ate the guacamole standing up, it has far less calories. You'll learn this and many more useless and untrue things from people here.

Welcome.

SteaknChez

"Grammar is the difference between knowing your *kitten* and knowing you're *kitten*."

just thought I'd throw this in for good measure.

KareninCanada

:laugh: This post was entertaining enough that I made my hubby sit through me reading it aloud... along with some of the replies.... great stuff. (Or at least I thought so.)

You're more than welcome to add me if you'd like, but in the interest of full disclosure you should know that I soon delete people who (a) starve themselves, (b) put annoyingly blatant cleavage shots on their profile picture, and/or (c) cuss a lot on their posts (which I know is weird given that I'm a military spouse, you'd think I'd be desensitized by now, but I'm not).

CharityEaton

"Grammar is the difference between knowing your *kitten* and knowing you're *kitten*."

just thought I'd throw this in for good measure.

Sooo true!

nammer79

You seem like a cool person and can add me BUT (and yes i used caps because well i can) I'm not the best speller and well my grammar isn't the greatest. I think MFP is taking pity on me as I see spell check popping up and correcting me.

You don't have to be up beat and crapping rainbows to be my friend as long as your honest.

JCGilbert

My daughter's favorite saying is, "I'm not too good at giving advice, but may I offer you a sarcastic comment?" And she is only 15 years old. I raised her well.
Loved your post. A breath of fresh air in this forum of rainbow puke and crap. Particularly loved the reply telling you that your food diary sucked. That was genius. Add me. I will be happy to snark the day away with you. If I have to see one more comment to someone giving a virtual "high five" for not eating every Oreo or M & M ever manufactured, my eyes may roll right outta my friggen' skull.
I try my best with grammar, but I occasionally use invented spelling, such as: cuz or gonna. This is in part laziness but more that I type words the way I say them so my real (imaginary!!??) voice can be heard.
Rock on!

cloud2011

Hmmm. I'll pass, but good luck. Grammar grouches don't do it for me. I have enough grouches in my life. Looking for some cheerleaders. Had a very critical parent; married to a master of sarcasm, (yet he is a very good person). Looking for more positive people, as life is so short.

Lleldiranne

Added you.
But I have one question:

When did 38 become "middle aged" ???? You've got 10 years for that claim, IMO.
Still, we can be friends. We've too much in common not to be. Only I don't get to travel like that :sad:

(And, yes, the question mark goes outside of the quotes. I'm not quoting a question, I'm questioning a quote. :laugh: )

Lleldiranne

Aym awl four pawsitive reinforcement sew eye gess ewe can leeve me out. A lawt of peeple git nun at home sew thay git mowtivashun on hear. Gud luck two ewe.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Huked on fonix werked for yu!

iceandfire212

You should have a comma before and after 'dammit', as in "It's not hard, dammit, they're different words."

I'm also a HUGE grammar/spelling/punctuation nazi! I don't understand why our system is so ineffective in conveying the importance of good writing skills. *sigh*

KatieJane83

Before we can move forward I would need to know just how you feel about the Oxford comma. If you are completely opposed to the use of it we could have an issue before we even have our first (imaginary) interaction. I simply couldn't be (imaginary) friends with someone who harbored such hatred over a poor innocent comma. Now if, in general, you feel a sense of ambiguity towards the use of said comma than we can proceed.

I just had to jump in here and say that I fully support the Oxford comma, and it ticks me off when I don't see it being used. It's just something I feel quite strongly about!

That is all.

BrendaLee

It's ironic that you're grouching about grammar in a post filled with punctuation errors. *throws rainbows, butterflies and unicorns in your general direction*

beccacoug

I've posted a couple of (what I thought) were humorous, maybe dry, replies to my "friends" logs here on mfp...crickets...

I welcome some humor. God knows this mama needs it! I embrace the pinch on the back of my arm in regards to bad grammar. To lay or to lie...sit and set...

Good luck with your journey. Would love to be an imaginary important, sarcastic, up/down beat "pal"!!

Rebecca
Flowery Branch, GA

BrendaLee

Before we can move forward I would need to know just how you feel about the Oxford comma. If you are completely opposed to the use of it we could have an issue before we even have our first (imaginary) interaction. I simply couldn't be (imaginary) friends with someone who harbored such hatred over a poor innocent comma. Now if, in general, you feel a sense of ambiguity towards the use of said comma than we can proceed.

I just had to jump in here and say that I fully support the Oxford comma, and it ticks me off when I don't see it being used. It's just something I feel quite strongly about!

That is all.

Down with serial commas!

KatieJane83

Before we can move forward I would need to know just how you feel about the Oxford comma. If you are completely opposed to the use of it we could have an issue before we even have our first (imaginary) interaction. I simply couldn't be (imaginary) friends with someone who harbored such hatred over a poor innocent comma. Now if, in general, you feel a sense of ambiguity towards the use of said comma than we can proceed.

I just had to jump in here and say that I fully support the Oxford comma, and it ticks me off when I don't see it being used. It's just something I feel quite strongly about!

That is all.

Down with serial commas!

1. These items are available in black and white, red and yellow, and blue and green.

2. These items are available in black and white, red and yellow and blue and green.

I don't know about you, but I prefer option number 1.

wendywwhite

By far the most entertaining and honest thread I've read here. I'm tempted to start a group for "grumpy grammar grouches" and beg all of you to join.

MountainMia

Well, that was refreshing. Thanks for being real! I meet your criteria, and I don't regularly barf rainbows. However, I'm an overtired mom of 3 little girls and rainbows happen... not as often as pottymouth words and alcohol, but that's not sayin' much. :bigsmile: I can promise I won't comment on your diary if I haven't looked at it, and I'll never congratulate you for logging housework or taking your dog out for a *kitten*.

If these are terms you can handle and you still want more real imaginary friends, accept my request.

MrsAbles

I call MFP "My Face Pal". If you're puking rainbows, you may want to see a bulimia therapist. I believe in the power of positivity, but this is a diverse world we live in and it's good to practice getting along different types. Add me if you want. If we don't hit it off, there's always the option to delete.

BrendaLee

Before we can move forward I would need to know just how you feel about the Oxford comma. If you are completely opposed to the use of it we could have an issue before we even have our first (imaginary) interaction. I simply couldn't be (imaginary) friends with someone who harbored such hatred over a poor innocent comma. Now if, in general, you feel a sense of ambiguity towards the use of said comma than we can proceed.

I just had to jump in here and say that I fully support the Oxford comma, and it ticks me off when I don't see it being used. It's just something I feel quite strongly about!

That is all.

Down with serial commas!

1. These items are available in black and white, red and yellow, and blue and green.

2. These items are available in black and white, red and yellow and blue and green.

I don't know about you, but I prefer option number 1.

3. These items are available in several attractive color combinations. Choose from black/white, red/yellow or blue/green.

I prefer option 3.

Down with serial commas (except when necessary for clarity)!

StevenLongtin

Well well, I see we have a common interest in grammar, sarcasm and the like. I myself never finished high school, yet I'm doing well in a steady job with Safeway (Grocery chain for those not in North America). I like to offer my customers a more personal experience with jokes, sarcasm, life stories and straight up bullsh*t. I'm more towards the wall of text types, which drives me nuts when I'm reading someone elses, but mine are ok (go figure). My lady friend tells me that you're bad for me, but lots of people are telling me what's bad for me and I make it work or drop it. I like to experiment, and hell this is the interwebs and you're "imaginary" you're all just an illusion of pixels.

So I put it here, since my own introduction wasn't enough to pull in the lists of helpfuls.
anyone with a lively response or whatever for me and are willing to accept the same in response to their own endeavors (albeit not often as I hate responding to every single little tiny thing that you do) feel free to add me up. the friend button is somewhere around here...

paprad

When did 38 become "middle aged" ???? You've got 10 years for that claim, IMO.

(And, yes, the question mark goes outside of the quotes. I'm not quoting a question, I'm questioning a quote. :laugh: )

I was about to compose a reply stating when the punctuation should be inside the quote marks and when outside, but your post puts it so well, I shall desist. It's perfectly okay for the OP to put the full stop after the quotes in "Great job".

And I agree, at 48 I have reluctantly conceded to being middle-aged - even though I doubt I will (or want to) live beyond 90. 38 is a mere stripling, methinks.

Such a refreshing thread - I have found myself often exhausted by the chirpiness of some posts - I fear that too much MFP could turn me into Madeline Bassett (I think you have to be really middle-aged to know who she is).

paprad

My favourite example in support of the Serial Comma is about the chap who wanted to leave his estate equally between his 3 sons. Sadly, his will said "I wish the estate to be split equally between Tom, Deeck and Harry". Alas for poor Deeck and Harry, they got only a quarter share of the estate.

Edited to add : I was zapped to find my post censored and the second son's name replaced with **** !! That is so funny! That's why I used that odd spelling. Hmpfh.

dovesgate

How interesting. Most people like to have rainbows vomited upon them along with moonbeams and cupcakes.

Forever more, I will have visions of rainbow colored puke pouring forth from the chirpy crowd, one of whom I generally attempt to imitate for those on my friends list. I think you'd be a peachy addition and I don't believe I have peach in my group quite yet.

gdburk1

I will try my hardest to use the best grammer I can. In return I expect there will be no obnoxious sideways smiley guys. Now that really annoys me.

raevynn

I'm looking for imaginary friends (sorry, this is the internet, to me you're all imaginary) who maybe won't be quite so upbeat. It will also help if you can tolerate the odd vaguely snarky comment on your page - especially if you misuse apostrophes (I know, I should get over that peeve but it's not that hard dammit your/you're... there different words).

Yes, and so is there/they're/their.

I think we were meant to be friends.

christinerush

Yes, I found the intentional apelling mistake! Im like you and wrong spelling really annoys me on here and facebook and on billboards, menus and the like! Add me if you want!

raevynn

Before we can move forward I would need to know just how you feel about the Oxford comma. If you are completely opposed to the use of it we could have an issue before we even have our first (imaginary) interaction. I simply couldn't be (imaginary) friends with someone who harbored such hatred over a poor innocent comma. Now if, in general, you feel a sense of ambiguity towards the use of said comma than we can proceed.

You are referring to the serial comma? I am INCENSED by the lack of usage of it by so many "writers!"

I think I have found my true inner circle group here...

LemonSnap

I was about to compose a reply stating when the punctuation should be inside the quote marks and when outside, but your post puts it so well, I shall desist. It's perfectly okay for the OP to put the full stop after the quotes in "Great job".

It may be prudent for everyone to remember that the rules of spelling and grammar will vary significantly with the geographical location of our place of education.

paprad

It may be prudent for everyone to remember that the rules of spelling and grammar will vary significantly with the geographical location of our place of education.

That's very true. Style guides also change depending on British versus American preferences. One resource on grammar, for example, has this to say :

keep in mind that this comma and period inside the quotation marks business is strictly American usage. The British don't do it that way. They are inclined to place commas and periods logically rather than conventionally, depending on whether the punctuation belongs to the quotation or to the sentence that contains the quotation, just as we do with question marks and exclamation points.