How has your weight affected your "love" life?
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It constantly depends! But I know when I gained weight things in my relationship did change a little bit - but there were a LOT of other things going on on both of our ends that were making us more stressed out and we weren't focusing on intimacy as much. It made me very self conscious && was always some sort of topic for discussion && I would take it personally. Once I started to get into a normal routine and the weight began to come off things changed - I don't necessarily think it's becuase of me losing weight that it changed, but more because of my confidence. I went back to the person he fell for, I still am not as thin as I was when we first started dating, but I feel so much better and have the confidence I never had before. I am still insecure, but I'm working on it && I try to focus on the positive now and it's really helped!0
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Sex life is way improved. Now that the belly is gone, I can reach it again.0
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My boyfriend has always said I was beautiful & sexy just the way I was, but he is definatly noticing my weight loss and I think he likes it. He slapped my butt yesterday and said "baby, you're getting a stripper @ss!" haha, I love it!
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Sex life is way improved. Now that the belly is gone, I can reach it again.
Oh my! :blushing: teehee!0 -
My husband loved me skinny and big. :bigsmile: They love us sort of mushy! I do not though! :laugh: I must say.. This time around, my husband is loving my new changes and he now works out with me! :bigsmile: I think that when love is in play, it doesn't matter. Only what matters to you. I've been with my husband for 20 years. There has been a lot of changes, that's for sure! While bigger, my libido is crap! I also have a bad thyroid. Doesn't help matters. :grumble:0
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Just as everyone else, there was a direct correlation between gaining weight and decreased sex drive. But even as the weight dropped and was replaced by sagging skin, my libido still took a hit.
I went for some simple blood work and discovered that my insulin was off... But now everything is working well again... it's just life that gets in the way now :grumble: :laugh:0 -
The good thing is that a 'nice man' sees the WHOLE us - not just the bits we think are ugly. My boyfriend prefers my BODY now - 7lbs heavier than when he first met me (I preferred my body then!) However I am still the same person no matter what the outside bit is and it's THAT he truly loves... And its the same me/him. :-)
It's not just about being a nice man. Being overweight has some stress on depression and the sex drive all together. Since me and my wife have started to lose weight. About 90lbs combined so far. Our sex life has increased 10 fold. Not because I didn't desire her when we were both bigger, but she did not seem interested.
So honestly can say the weight loss we've achieved so far. Has been positive for our "love" life.0 -
Losing weight has made my appetite insatiable. I cannot get enough. I have been cooking more, cleaning more, working out more, watching less TV, and looking for every opportunity to get him in the mood. Which, by the way, is not very difficult at all now. 0
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I have always had a very high need for it, but as i gained weight my partner didnt want it any more. It made it so hard because it makes it feel like its a shallow thing.. but i can understand it.. when you are skinny then become huge.. it makes it hard for the other.
As I lost weight it made it a little easier.. but i still need to lose about 85 pounds to make it right where it needs to be.
so can you ask again in like 6-8 months?0 -
Since losing weight things have changed for the better....in every way.
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73 lbs heavier, I was never approached. 73 lbs lighter, I'm approached on a regular basis by interested parties.
Too bad they're all like 15 years OLDER THAN ME! WTF!
Hey, don't knock it until you try it! LOL
:laugh: I was thinking the same - experience is a GOOD thing!
I recently started seeing someone 15 years older than I am. I think that the world is too fixed on stuff that doesn't matter. She's a knockout and we click in many ways and that's far more important than fixating on how old someone is (so long as they aren't underage I don't see a big deal). I'll take that shot at happiness over trying to follow society's "rules" on what is and is not acceptable to date.0 -
......I'm still waiting for somebody to add "it" to the MFP exercise database!0
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I haven't ever had a sex life (by choice), but there has only been one person in my life. I'm not really sure why, but probably being shy, having different morals than some people, and just not being very good at reaching out to other people have been huge factors. I don't think it's ever just the weight. It's how the weight warps your mind and self-esteem. I've always viewed myself as huge (even when I was 156lbs, and now I look back on these days with longing). I didn't see why anyone could ever like me, so even when someone did, I didn't make it very easy for them to be a part of my life. I kept thinking "he's too good to be true." But he wasn't - he was someone I couldn't trust, a player, a person with secrets, a person who wasn't what I thought he was. One day, I realized I was with him for the wrong reasons, and he wasn't what I am looking for in a guy. My point is, being over weight clouded my judgment for more than a year. I'm a work in progress on the weight part, but I thank God I didn't have to wait that long to have a wake up call and stop making excuses for someone who wasn't worth any girl's time.0
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I think It has an affect of How you love Yourself First and therefore on a relationship. Saying that you need to love yourself first in orther to love other may sound cliché, but so true...0
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......I'm still waiting for somebody to add "it" to the MFP exercise database!
From what I've seen some people use "dancing" or Aerobics
(they remove anything else)
My experience though seems to be the opposite to everyone else
When I was at my biggest I had a ridiculous drive just couldn't do as much about it. Now I'm all toned up then it's different, I'm less often in the mood (this seems to be when I've pushed so hard I've got nothing left after exercise) but when I am it's just totally different. I used to be ready to go again within 5 mins or so even after a ridiculous session but now I seem to be a hell of a lot more satisfied..so therefore have it less? Guess that's due to actually enjoying myself rather than making it all about someone else because you don't wanna look at yourself!
Definitely a lot of positives since losing haha!0 -
Yep as the weight increased my libido decreased, could pretty much chart it.
Positive side though is that having started to exercise again,it's on the up :happy:
ditto0 -
I'm a little less keen on bright-lights-on nooky, but other than that, nothing really. If anything, I probably get more action than ever and I've been married 8 1/2 years (together 12 years).0
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I recently started seeing someone 15 years older than I am. I think that the world is too fixed on stuff that doesn't matter. She's a knockout and we click in many ways and that's far more important than fixating on how old someone is (so long as they aren't underage I don't see a big deal). I'll take that shot at happiness over trying to follow society's "rules" on what is and is not acceptable to date.
I know it's more 'acceptable' since I'm the girl, but my husband is 12 years older than me. I was 19 when we met, he was 31. My family was NOT happy when we got married, and yet here we are! Age is just a number.0 -
My weight did not affect my "love" life with the hubs when we were super huge. He loved me no matter what, and I, him! The only issue was the variety was limited...if you get my drift. But now that we have lost 170 between us, things are a LOT easier and....for him, more defined....if you get my drift yet again. Variety is increasing and no longer causing suffocation during standard activites. :blushing:0
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In regards to the Weight thing...The only difference is ...me
How I feel about myself...the better I feel, the better it is...
in regards to the AGE thing...
I never thought I'd say this but the 'best' was when I was 28, he was 20...0 -
73 lbs heavier, I was never approached. 73 lbs lighter, I'm approached on a regular basis by interested parties.
Too bad they're all like 15 years OLDER THAN ME! WTF!
Hey, don't knock it until you try it! LOL
:laugh: I was thinking the same - experience is a GOOD thing!
BTW there is something to be said for an older more EXPERIENCED woman. Woot Woot0 -
After 3 pregnancies, 3 sections and a 70lb weight gain from when we first met yes my libido is way down. I hate what I see in the mirror and don't get how he can be attracted to me. Past experience is that when I dropped about 40lbs from where I am now libido did pick up again.0
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For the guys, just seen someones post about her boyfriend being more "Defined" ..bit of a random thing but have you noticed you're well...bigger? I had a lot of fat all over and I'm pretty damn sure that the fat I had down there has pretty much melted..it has been noted anyway by other parties that it's noticeable..0
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When you are fatter you will hold more fat on your pubic bone and so yes, it will appear smaller.0
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My fwb of two years told me when I got into singledigit sizes that he was just no longer attracted to me and we should find other fwbs.
shame, he was a lot of fun and great in bed.0 -
o crap I answered this wrong- I thought you were asking if losing weight affected it?
When I weighed more, I got a lot more action. Since Ive slimmed down and gotten healthy, no one will touch me. I call it the *kitten* effect LOL!0 -
Similar~My fwb of two years told me when I got into singledigit sizes that he was just no longer attracted to me and we should find other fwbs.
shame, he was a lot of fun and great in bed.
My ex bf told me that he wasn't going to watch me 'kill myself' and broke it off...he was mad that I left to take care of my mother in
another state, so ....childish, but stil...I was 169 lbs, size 12 and 5'9"...I felt awesome!!! he couldn't deal with it, I guess. I had been
as high as 267 when we were together and he loved that so...go figure
Currently I am married and while he complains that I am losing too much weight, he'd rather play video games than give me the time of day...whatever0 -
What love life? I'll let you know if I ever have one again. :frown:0
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to be completely honest...I would imagine any guy would be terribly intimidated to come near you .... Have You Seen You?!o crap I answered this wrong- I thought you were asking if losing weight affected it?
When I weighed more, I got a lot more action. Since Ive slimmed down and gotten healthy, no one will touch me. I call it the *kitten* effect LOL!
{hope you take that as it is intended}0 -
Shallow, but one of my biggest driving factors behind loosing weight.
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