How has your weight affected your "love" life?

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  • gorguslyjealous
    gorguslyjealous Posts: 78 Member
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    It constantly depends! But I know when I gained weight things in my relationship did change a little bit - but there were a LOT of other things going on on both of our ends that were making us more stressed out and we weren't focusing on intimacy as much. It made me very self conscious && was always some sort of topic for discussion && I would take it personally. Once I started to get into a normal routine and the weight began to come off things changed - I don't necessarily think it's becuase of me losing weight that it changed, but more because of my confidence. I went back to the person he fell for, I still am not as thin as I was when we first started dating, but I feel so much better and have the confidence I never had before. I am still insecure, but I'm working on it && I try to focus on the positive now and it's really helped!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Sex life is way improved. Now that the belly is gone, I can reach it again.
  • jellybeanhed313
    jellybeanhed313 Posts: 344 Member
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    My boyfriend has always said I was beautiful & sexy just the way I was, but he is definatly noticing my weight loss and I think he likes it. He slapped my butt yesterday and said "baby, you're getting a stripper @ss!" haha, I love it! :)
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    Sex life is way improved. Now that the belly is gone, I can reach it again.

    Oh my! :blushing: teehee!
  • DeenieWeenie
    DeenieWeenie Posts: 149 Member
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    My husband loved me skinny and big. :bigsmile: They love us sort of mushy! I do not though! :laugh: I must say.. This time around, my husband is loving my new changes and he now works out with me! :bigsmile: I think that when love is in play, it doesn't matter. Only what matters to you. I've been with my husband for 20 years. There has been a lot of changes, that's for sure! While bigger, my libido is crap! I also have a bad thyroid. Doesn't help matters. :grumble:
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
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    Just as everyone else, there was a direct correlation between gaining weight and decreased sex drive. But even as the weight dropped and was replaced by sagging skin, my libido still took a hit.
    I went for some simple blood work and discovered that my insulin was off... But now everything is working well again... it's just life that gets in the way now :grumble: :laugh:
  • hawtpep
    hawtpep Posts: 30 Member
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    The good thing is that a 'nice man' sees the WHOLE us - not just the bits we think are ugly. My boyfriend prefers my BODY now - 7lbs heavier than when he first met me (I preferred my body then!) However I am still the same person no matter what the outside bit is and it's THAT he truly loves... And its the same me/him. :-)

    It's not just about being a nice man. Being overweight has some stress on depression and the sex drive all together. Since me and my wife have started to lose weight. About 90lbs combined so far. Our sex life has increased 10 fold. Not because I didn't desire her when we were both bigger, but she did not seem interested.

    So honestly can say the weight loss we've achieved so far. Has been positive for our "love" life.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    Losing weight has made my appetite insatiable. I cannot get enough. I have been cooking more, cleaning more, working out more, watching less TV, and looking for every opportunity to get him in the mood. Which, by the way, is not very difficult at all now. :)
  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,274 Member
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    I have always had a very high need for it, but as i gained weight my partner didnt want it any more. It made it so hard because it makes it feel like its a shallow thing.. but i can understand it.. when you are skinny then become huge.. it makes it hard for the other.

    As I lost weight it made it a little easier.. but i still need to lose about 85 pounds to make it right where it needs to be.

    so can you ask again in like 6-8 months?
  • Diandra81
    Diandra81 Posts: 128 Member
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    Since losing weight things have changed for the better....in every way. =)
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    73 lbs heavier, I was never approached. 73 lbs lighter, I'm approached on a regular basis by interested parties.

    Too bad they're all like 15 years OLDER THAN ME! WTF!

    Hey, don't knock it until you try it! LOL

    :laugh: I was thinking the same - experience is a GOOD thing!

    I recently started seeing someone 15 years older than I am. I think that the world is too fixed on stuff that doesn't matter. She's a knockout and we click in many ways and that's far more important than fixating on how old someone is (so long as they aren't underage I don't see a big deal). I'll take that shot at happiness over trying to follow society's "rules" on what is and is not acceptable to date.
  • skaville1976
    skaville1976 Posts: 52 Member
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    ......I'm still waiting for somebody to add "it" to the MFP exercise database!
  • lovin_lolita
    lovin_lolita Posts: 2
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    I haven't ever had a sex life (by choice), but there has only been one person in my life. I'm not really sure why, but probably being shy, having different morals than some people, and just not being very good at reaching out to other people have been huge factors. I don't think it's ever just the weight. It's how the weight warps your mind and self-esteem. I've always viewed myself as huge (even when I was 156lbs, and now I look back on these days with longing). I didn't see why anyone could ever like me, so even when someone did, I didn't make it very easy for them to be a part of my life. I kept thinking "he's too good to be true." But he wasn't - he was someone I couldn't trust, a player, a person with secrets, a person who wasn't what I thought he was. One day, I realized I was with him for the wrong reasons, and he wasn't what I am looking for in a guy. My point is, being over weight clouded my judgment for more than a year. I'm a work in progress on the weight part, but I thank God I didn't have to wait that long to have a wake up call and stop making excuses for someone who wasn't worth any girl's time.
  • beachgirl10
    beachgirl10 Posts: 54 Member
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    I think It has an affect of How you love Yourself First and therefore on a relationship. Saying that you need to love yourself first in orther to love other may sound cliché, but so true...
  • slay0r
    slay0r Posts: 669 Member
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    ......I'm still waiting for somebody to add "it" to the MFP exercise database!

    From what I've seen some people use "dancing" or Aerobics ;) (they remove anything else)

    My experience though seems to be the opposite to everyone else :s When I was at my biggest I had a ridiculous drive just couldn't do as much about it. Now I'm all toned up then it's different, I'm less often in the mood (this seems to be when I've pushed so hard I've got nothing left after exercise) but when I am it's just totally different. I used to be ready to go again within 5 mins or so even after a ridiculous session but now I seem to be a hell of a lot more satisfied..so therefore have it less? Guess that's due to actually enjoying myself rather than making it all about someone else because you don't wanna look at yourself!

    Definitely a lot of positives since losing haha!
  • minkakross
    minkakross Posts: 687 Member
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    Yep as the weight increased my libido decreased, could pretty much chart it.

    Positive side though is that having started to exercise again,it's on the up :happy:

    ditto
  • Kell_Smurthwaite
    Kell_Smurthwaite Posts: 384 Member
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    I'm a little less keen on bright-lights-on nooky, but other than that, nothing really. If anything, I probably get more action than ever and I've been married 8 1/2 years (together 12 years).
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    I recently started seeing someone 15 years older than I am. I think that the world is too fixed on stuff that doesn't matter. She's a knockout and we click in many ways and that's far more important than fixating on how old someone is (so long as they aren't underage I don't see a big deal). I'll take that shot at happiness over trying to follow society's "rules" on what is and is not acceptable to date.

    I know it's more 'acceptable' since I'm the girl, but my husband is 12 years older than me. I was 19 when we met, he was 31. My family was NOT happy when we got married, and yet here we are! Age is just a number.
  • mamamc03
    mamamc03 Posts: 1,067 Member
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    My weight did not affect my "love" life with the hubs when we were super huge. He loved me no matter what, and I, him! The only issue was the variety was limited...if you get my drift. But now that we have lost 170 between us, things are a LOT easier and....for him, more defined....if you get my drift yet again. Variety is increasing and no longer causing suffocation during standard activites. :blushing:
  • leogirl724
    leogirl724 Posts: 73
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    In regards to the Weight thing...The only difference is ...me

    How I feel about myself...the better I feel, the better it is...

    in regards to the AGE thing...

    I never thought I'd say this but the 'best' was when I was 28, he was 20...

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