Why do people think a male and female are a couple?

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  • Onesnap
    Onesnap Posts: 2,819 Member
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    Because Harry said, "men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."


    LIKE LIKE LIKE

    Not true. My husband and I both have friends of the same sex (see my post above about his best friend being a woman). I have friends since high school (I'm 35 now) that are guys. Never dated them, never even thought about it. Same for my hubby. I think it depends on your group of friends. In my group of friends (many of us have moved away now but are still close) most of us are married now and still friends with those folks. If you can't have best friends of the opposite sex without turning it sexual...well you've got a lot of growing up to do.
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    I hang out with my dad a lot and people always think we are a couple. He is 63 and I'm 35. :noway:
  • jenniferdances1
    jenniferdances1 Posts: 86 Member
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    It happens. I guess people are just programmed to think that. Before my best friend (who's gay) moved across the country from me, every time we would go out to eat together the server would just bring him the check assuming we were "together". It eventually just became a big joke and some of our friends started saying we were "the cutest couple in town" lol
  • itsuki
    itsuki Posts: 520 Member
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    In college I went to the same school as my older sister (we’re 18 months apart). We shared an apartment, and had the same circle of friends, so we used to hang out a lot.

    One day my sister found out that the chair of her department (and also her boss, since she worked on campus in that department) thought that I was her girlfriend. The awkward conversation went something like this:
    Boss: “Oh, [sister], you should come to the department party, you can bring your girlfriend!”
    Sister: “What girlfriend?”
    Boss: “Your girlfriend!”
    Sister: “You mean my boyfriend?” (she had a boyfriend at that time, and had been with him for 4-5 years).
    Boss: “No, your girlfriend! That blue-haired girl I always see you with on campus!”
    Sister: “You mean my sister?”
    Queue uncomfortable silence throughout the office.

    Apparently her boss had been telling everyone in the department that my sister and I were dating. It took the better part of a year to convince them that we weren’t. The fact that we look nearly identical (some people can’t tell us apart, which was one of the reasons I had dyed my hair blue to begin with) didn’t seem to help.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Depends on what they're doing. I was at Barnes & Noble on Saturday, and there was a guy and girl at one of the study tables, clearly working on a school project together. I didn't assume they were a couple (although they could've been); I assumed they were classmates. If I had seen them browsing the bookshelves together or going to the cafe to get coffee together, I probably would've assumed they were a couple. I don't really see why it matters, though. My assumptions about the nature of their relationship aren't of much consequence.

    But I do think males and females can be just friends. I have several close, male friends. Sometimes it's clear from the start that there is no sexual chemistry or physical attraction and the guy truly feels like a brother to you. One of my best male friends is a guy I've known since kindergarten, 25 years ago. I could never, ever, ever think of him in sexual way. He's just someone who knows me very well, cares about me very much, and vice versa.

    While I don't believe in having "secret" friends (i.e. failing to tell your SO about a friend of the opposite sex), I truly don't see the harm in men and women being just friends. If you don't do anything with them that you wouldn't do with a female friend, what difference does it make?
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I hang out with my dad a lot and people always think we are a couple. He is 63 and I'm 35. :noway:

    This happened to me once. My dad was 50, and I was 23 at the time. I mean really.
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,449 Member
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    Happens to me with one of my guy friends all the time. If I am out with him, people just think we are on a date. We are like "NO! Just friends. We've been friends for like 15 years now."

    And then they add some remark about how after a while friends like us get married. *rolls eyes*

    But he also has lots of female friends, so it is pretty hilarious because the same thing happens when he is with another one. He must look like a player. :P
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    this happens to me and my guy friends. i think that it's just b/c there's a level of intamacy that comes w/ friendship that a sexual relationship can reach after a long enough time.

    i'll think this of friends sometimes. mind you, i'm not heteronomative about it, and i'll think the same if i see a same sex pairing who seem to be at that level of intamacy as well.

    but it's a common thing. we humans like our labels.
  • Crimson_
    Crimson_ Posts: 60
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    Why do people think peanut butter and jelly make a good sandwich?

    because you would be nuts if you didnt wanna date peanut butter?
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    Is it really that unsafe of an assumption if you know nothing about the two people? Not that big of a deal.
  • Savyna
    Savyna Posts: 789 Member
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    In college I went to the same school as my older sister (we’re 18 months apart). We shared an apartment, and had the same circle of friends, so we used to hang out a lot.

    One day my sister found out that the chair of her department (and also her boss, since she worked on campus in that department) thought that I was her girlfriend. The awkward conversation went something like this:
    Boss: “Oh, [sister], you should come to the department party, you can bring your girlfriend!”
    Sister: “What girlfriend?”
    Boss: “Your girlfriend!”
    Sister: “You mean my boyfriend?” (she had a boyfriend at that time, and had been with him for 4-5 years).
    Boss: “No, your girlfriend! That blue-haired girl I always see you with on campus!”
    Sister: “You mean my sister?”
    Queue uncomfortable silence throughout the office.

    Apparently her boss had been telling everyone in the department that my sister and I were dating. It took the better part of a year to convince them that we weren’t. The fact that we look nearly identical (some people can’t tell us apart, which was one of the reasons I had dyed my hair blue to begin with) didn’t seem to help.
    oh wow that made me laugh a lot.

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