When to send relationship request on FB?

i_love_vinegar

I went to a friend's bday party last month and met this guy who was our mutual friend. I liked him off-the-bat, and it ended up he felt the same way. We exchanged numbers. I'm a cautious person, and he had to go out of town for a couple weeks, but we texted every couple days. I wasn't sure whether the feelings would still be there when we weren't at a party (dancing, drinking, lots of other people).

Then he came back to town and asked to hang out, and although I was sick, I went on the date anyway because I wanted to see if the feelings were still the same as that night. Not only did I feel just as comfortable around him as the night we met, he was really sweet and showed me an amazing time. The date ended in kisses, and we are supposed to hang out again soon. :smooched:

When should I send a request, or should I wait for him to send one? I'm 22, he's in his 30's. He doesn't use Facebook very much, although I use it on a regular basis. I've never done this before. :ohwell:

I don't want to come off as clingy, but also don't want to seem like I'm "keeping my options open," or "keeping the relationship secret." etc. I want everyone to know I've met this awesome, great guy :flowerforyou:

Any advice? Thanks! :happy:

UponThisRock

I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

xo_morgan

I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

i second this. i would wait until you guys have a mutual conversation about what "this" exactly is. a few more dates & talk about if you two are exclusive. You may want to put a title on it but he may not want to just yet.

Jules0336

Don't do it yet. That will most likely scare him off, and fast.

I would wait until you are in a commited relationship.

i_love_vinegar

I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

Thanks! :flowerforyou:

Charliesuccess

Ok...you kissed while you were sick, just curious.....

just be cool for now...sounds pretty casual for now...although you guys did kiss while you were sick.....
I wouldnt shout it from the roof top on FB just yet....well except the fact that someone smooched ya while you were sick.....:bigsmile:

i_love_vinegar

I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

i second this. i would wait until you guys have a mutual conversation about what "this" exactly is. a few more dates & talk about if you two are exclusive. You may want to put a title on it but he may not want to just yet.

Thank you! That's a good idea. It's good to make sure! :flowerforyou:

i_love_vinegar

Don't do it yet. That will most likely scare him off, and fast.

I would wait until you are in a commited relationship.

Thank you! Good point!

tehzephyrsong

Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

i_love_vinegar

Ok...you kissed while you were sick, just curious.....

just be cool for now...sounds pretty casual for now...although you guys did kiss while you were sick.....
I wouldnt shout it from the roof top on FB just yet....well except the fact that someone smooched ya while you were sick.....:bigsmile:

:laugh: Your answer is hilarious~I warned him though!

i_love_vinegar

Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

I don't feel I'm acting like a teenager. I got a FB this year, and have never had this situation come up before where I really hit it off with someone.

I should have been more clear in that I feel he is serious about this as well though. He brought me a gift, took me out to a very expensive restaurant, planned multiple future dates, and asked me to go on vacation with him. I am hoping it is not just a casual thing, but agree it is smart to play it safe.

i_love_vinegar

I just want to say I have my answer -- Thanks everyone! I appreciate all of the answers and am glad they were all in agreement. I originally felt it was too soon, but couldn't find any clear information through Google. Thanks again. :flowerforyou:

ElizabethRoad

If you are concerned that he might think you are keeping your options open, hide your relationship status for now.

neverstray

Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

I don't feel I'm acting like a teenager. I got a FB this year, and have never had this situation come up before where I really hit it off with someone.

I should have been more clear in that I feel he is serious about this as well though. He brought me a gift, took me out to a very expensive restaurant, planned multiple future dates, and asked me to go on vacation with him. I am hoping it is not just a casual thing, but agree it is smart to play it safe.

Just make sure he's not just horny. Guys will do all kinds of s$@t. Sometimes, they even believe themselves for a while. You got to let things settle down for a while before you will know. Once you establish the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, at that point, you can "friend" him. Of course, all his ex's will probably be there, and you'll see them, and they'll see you. It adds an interesting element, I think. LOL.

RosieB405

First off why does it matter that your "facebook friends" know you are in a relationship when if you are really in a relationship your real friends will eventually meet him in person

Second unless you have had a conversation to discuss if you are in a real realtionship or just dating don't assume and don't rush things usually seem great in the begining....and then you really get to know each other.

1WorkoutAtATime

I think you shoul hold off on the request...

spicy618

If you are concerned that he might think you are keeping your options open, hide your relationship status for now.

^^^ This is what i thought also.

i_love_vinegar

Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

I don't feel I'm acting like a teenager. I got a FB this year, and have never had this situation come up before where I really hit it off with someone.

I should have been more clear in that I feel he is serious about this as well though. He brought me a gift, took me out to a very expensive restaurant, planned multiple future dates, and asked me to go on vacation with him. I am hoping it is not just a casual thing, but agree it is smart to play it safe.

Just make sure he's not just horny. Guys will do all kinds of s$@t. Sometimes, they even believe themselves for a while. You got to let things settle down for a while before you will know. Once you establish the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, at that point, you can "friend" him. Of course, all his ex's will probably be there, and you'll see them, and they'll see you. It adds an interesting element, I think. LOL.

Great point! I will make sure of that. Vacation would be separate rooms for instance. And yes, the ex element. haha. Thanks.

unmitigatedbadassery

Are we talking "friend request" or adding him to your relationship status?

For a simple friend request I would add him when ever you want. For adding him to your relationship status I would wait until you both have discussed that you are exclusive and it looks like things are headed in the right direction. People still talk about things right?1

UsedToBeHusky

You know, I generally ask people in person before I send them a request anyway.

amyy902

id say wait, and when its 'official' do it.

♥PrincessSaraGarcia♥

I wouldn't change your relationship status. You don't want to be a stage 5 clinger. Also, he is older and may not be into that type of younger girlishness.

i_love_vinegar

First off why does it matter that your "facebook friends" know you are in a relationship when if you are really in a relationship your real friends will eventually meet him in person

Second unless you have had a conversation to discuss if you are in a real realtionship or just dating don't assume and don't rush things usually seem great in the begining....and then you really get to know each other.

We both move from country to country frequently, so our friends are all over the world. Chances are they would not meet him in person until the relationship had been going on a very long time. For instance, we are currently living in Japan, but from different countries.

Thank you for your second point -- very good to keep in mind. I appreciate it. :flowerforyou:

BarbWhite09

Why would you send a relationship request if he hasn't even asked you to be his gf? O.o

i_love_vinegar

I think you shoul hold off on the freind request...

Thanks. We are already friends. Sorry I wasn't clearer!

i_love_vinegar

If you are concerned that he might think you are keeping your options open, hide your relationship status for now.

^^^ This is what i thought also.

I'll take that into consideration. Thanks!

CiciPorcayo

Let him add u... otherwise no matter how u put it u come off clingy if u add him first!

TNGURL

I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

Yeah, don't do it... you'll look needy and clingy.... way to soon, don't "announce" yet.. be low key!!!!

sjmgde

FB is dumb and who cares what your FB status is. Enjoy your time with this guy and leave FB behind. Your real friends will know if your in a relationship and have fun dating him and chances are this guy is above FB as he barely checks it.

i_love_vinegar

Are we talking "friend request" or adding him to your relationship status?

For a simple friend request I would add him when ever you want. For adding him to your relationship status I would wait until you both have discussed that you are exclusive and it looks like things are headed in the right direction. People still talk about things right?1

I meant relationship status. Sorry I wasn't clearer. Talking would make sense. Thanks :laugh:

sjmgde

One more thing......congrads on finding a guy who is awesome, enjoy it and have fun