When to send relationship request on FB?

135

Replies

  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

    I don't feel I'm acting like a teenager. I got a FB this year, and have never had this situation come up before where I really hit it off with someone.

    I should have been more clear in that I feel he is serious about this as well though. He brought me a gift, took me out to a very expensive restaurant, planned multiple future dates, and asked me to go on vacation with him. I am hoping it is not just a casual thing, but agree it is smart to play it safe. :smile:

    Just make sure he's not just horny. Guys will do all kinds of s$@t. Sometimes, they even believe themselves for a while. You got to let things settle down for a while before you will know. Once you establish the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, at that point, you can "friend" him. Of course, all his ex's will probably be there, and you'll see them, and they'll see you. It adds an interesting element, I think. LOL.


    announcing it to the world on fb is not the thing to do. my friend did it and yes, they were together for almost a year... it makes you look flakey when your relationships are continuously changing in front of everyone's eyes... keep it personal. isn't that what a relationship is? personal.
  • mrsNoSo
    mrsNoSo Posts: 28
    When the two of you decide that you are in an exclusive relationship would be my suggestion.
  • LifeOnMars_
    LifeOnMars_ Posts: 720 Member
    If you're asking the internet you're not ready.

    hehehe :drinker:
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    How old are you?

    22--- or 12?

    Thank you for the reminder that I forgot to block you. :wink:
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    Agreeing with other people: wait a while longer, until you manage to better define what your relationship is. If you go on a few more dates and it looks like it's just gonna be a casual thing, then don't go running to tell Facebook about it; you're 22 gorram years old. Stop acting like a teenager. But if you really hit it off and decide to be exclusive, then you can broach the subject of making it "Facebook-official."

    I don't feel I'm acting like a teenager. I got a FB this year, and have never had this situation come up before where I really hit it off with someone.

    I should have been more clear in that I feel he is serious about this as well though. He brought me a gift, took me out to a very expensive restaurant, planned multiple future dates, and asked me to go on vacation with him. I am hoping it is not just a casual thing, but agree it is smart to play it safe. :smile:

    Even though you are new to facebook, compare it to your real life. If you were out somewhere with him and you ran into your mom, would you say hey mom, this is Tom, my boyfriend? Hopefully not, so facebook is no different.

    And also, just for your own sake, please please please don't assume that because he bought you gifts and took you to a nice restaurant that you are exclusive. Yes it's looking like he is into you, but despite liking someone a lot and seeing a future with them most people still don't want to put a label on things and be exclusive right away.
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    I just want to say I have my answer -- Thanks everyone! I appreciate all of the answers and am glad they were all in agreement. I originally felt it was too soon, but couldn't find any clear information through Google. Thanks again. :flowerforyou:

    What exactly did you expect to find on Google? Don't mean to be rude, but I fail to see why you would even search Google for this.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Dont think anyone is in any position to preach or judge anyone, just sayin-Ty

    Thanks for coming to my defense. :flowerforyou: We need more people like you around here.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I say send it off. Then you know where you stand. You hit it off after all...
  • jac2lyn
    jac2lyn Posts: 90
    Wait, are you looking to make this facebook official as in who your dating or just a request to be friends? If you are just requesting to be friends, I would do it after the next time you go out or if you talk/text alot then you can go ahead and request him as a friend. Im 26 and have been dating older guys since I got divorced and am finding that sometimes theya re more facebooky then I am.
    One side note though, he might have friends that are girls that are just his friends. Do not get clingy and do not get stalkerish. I never really comment on their pages or send messages unless its a pic of us or something that I knew about!!

    Gotta love playing "the game" :) Good luck
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    well, I dated a girl for about 8 months before we were even at the point of TALKING about calling each other bf/gf. That is longer than normal but still, 1 month to call each other in a relationship in my book is soon. On the other hand, for some people it takes a month to get married. It all depends on you both.

    However, you (and please, excuse me for being blunt) sound like you want to rush into labeling the relationship. Since you're young, allow me to tell you that most guys HATE that. Let the relationship take its course. If you start feeling the relationship isnt moving forward, THEN have the talk. Donot rush into talking about "where is this relationship going?" You'll alienate the guy.

    Besides this, just chill and relax. Who cares about facebook...are you planning to have a bf just to brag to your friends that you have one? Enjoy each others company and screw fb

    Thank you! :smile:
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    No offense (truly ... I was your age not so long ago, so I get it), but this is why 22-year-olds probably shouldn't be dating grown men.

    If you have to ask whether or not it's okay to call someone your boyfriend on Facebook, the answer is always NO.

    Very well said...
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    3-6 months after he tells you to your face that you are in an exclusive serious relationship and he isn't joking.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    I'm really not sure how to answer this, but I'll do my best.

    First of all, my current boyfriend and I (whom I live with and have been with for almost 2 years) did not make it "facebook official" until several months into our relationship. Why so long? Well, it's facebook, and who really cares? Eventually we just did it because, well...we ARE together and we both have facebook, so why not?

    IMO, you are putting a little too much thought into this. If making your relationship known with someone else on facebook is important to you, then you need to give this friendship some time to actually blossom into more than just that - a friendship.

    I'm sorry - I can't say much more than that. I guess I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that this is even a legitimate question.

    Either way, I wish you the best.

    Thank you! I guess the reason I don't want to wait a few months is because I will be out of the country. Then a year later, he will most likely be in my country. After that I will be in my country again as well. ^^
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

    wow.. one date? My friend is thinking about asking his girlfriend to mary him, they've been together for almost 2 years, and they STILL aren't "facebook official."

    It doesn't sound like you're joking, so I'll offer my opinion: Let him initiate "the relationship"
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    I just celebrated my 7th anniversary with my wife yesterday...it still doesn't show that I'm married to her on Facebook ha ha. It just says "married". Maybe in another 10 years I'll change it to "Married to...". I don't want to come across as too clingy. :)
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    WHO CARES?!?!?!?!?!?! You sound like you're in middle school.
  • RenaPink11
    RenaPink11 Posts: 329 Member
    I'm unaware of the proper etiquette, but I'm pretty sure "after one date" isn't the answer.

    ^^^ditto!
  • Kamalalue
    Kamalalue Posts: 87 Member
    I disagree with the waiting. I might mention it in a text prior to friending him, but life is too short to "wait and see."

    If this guy is so great, why would you not want to let him know that you think so?

    Good guys get snapped up fast, and if not you - it will someone else who sees that he is fantastic.

    Don't look back later with regrets.
  • AlbionLass
    AlbionLass Posts: 136
    I think I waited about 14 years .

    Been together 17 years, just says 'in a relationship with'.



    (I don't do marriage lol)
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I'm confuzzled.

    Are you wanting to request him as a friend???

    Or make the official announcement that you're "in a relationship with...."?
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Don't bother sending the request. I give a man in his 30s exactly fourty-two days before he realizes a 22-year-old piece is still a 22-year-old.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Wait, are you looking to make this facebook official as in who your dating or just a request to be friends? If you are just requesting to be friends, I would do it after the next time you go out or if you talk/text alot then you can go ahead and request him as a friend. Im 26 and have been dating older guys since I got divorced and am finding that sometimes theya re more facebooky then I am.
    One side note though, he might have friends that are girls that are just his friends. Do not get clingy and do not get stalkerish. I never really comment on their pages or send messages unless its a pic of us or something that I knew about!!

    Gotta love playing "the game" :) Good luck

    Thank you! I'm actually not the clingy type in real life (quite the opposite) and do not get jealous of female friends. I just really like this guy, he seems clingy, and he is a great catch so I want to make sure (my oblivious self) isn't doing something insulting without realizing it. I wasn't originally planning on sending a request, but then realized I'm not sure whether most people do or not.

    Have my answer either way. Thank you for the kind response. :flowerforyou:
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    I don't see a problem with at least adding him as a friend to your facebook and see where is goes from there.....Dont make it FB official right now.
  • jac2lyn
    jac2lyn Posts: 90
    Oh, on another note...
    You said he's in his 30's and you are 22. That is fine, I do not frown upon that at all. Im 26 and was with a 44 yr old and a 39 yr old. However, chances are he is not going to want you to make it facebook official about your relationship, but go ahead and be friends. Like I said in a previous post though. DO NOT GET JEALOUS of his other friends who are girls. Also, if he asked you to go away with him already you might want to think about this relationship. You barely know him!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    I disagree with the waiting. I might mention it in a text prior to friending him, but life is too short to "wait and see."

    If this guy is so great, why would you not want to let him know that you think so?

    Good guys get snapped up fast, and if not you - it will someone else who sees that he is fantastic.

    Don't look back later with regrets.

    Thank you! I think I will wait awhile anyway, but I appreciate this answer and will apply it to my life in other ways. I know he likes me because he texted me afterward as well, "You are the amazing girl I have been looking for!" and is very similar to my ex (also an "older" man) who basically proposed on the second date.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member


    Thank you! I guess the reason I don't want to wait a few months is because I will be out of the country. Then a year later, he will most likely be in my country. After that I will be in my country again as well. ^^

    OH! Well why didn't you say that you had to nail down that relationship status now since after the once you've seen each other... you won't be seeing each other for a couple of years.

    Makes perfect sense now.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    Just don't get caught kissing at recess........ principals everywhere are REALLY cracking down on this now.......
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member


    Thank you! I guess the reason I don't want to wait a few months is because I will be out of the country. Then a year later, he will most likely be in my country. After that I will be in my country again as well. ^^

    OH! Well why didn't you say that you had to nail down that relationship status now since after the once you've seen each other... you won't be seeing each other for a couple of years.

    Makes perfect sense now.

    :love:
  • birdieintx
    birdieintx Posts: 298
    I actually don't use the facebook relationship status thing at all. I don't see the point.
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 713 Member
    Whats his facebook addy? Im going to warn him he has a stage 5 clinger on his hands...


    Did someone say unicorns?

    WAY ahead of you babe :love:


    SMH. Some peoples kids.
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