what is the ideal age to get engaged/married?

A_Fit_Mom

Depends on the couple and situation. Also depends on their maturity. My husband and I got married young. I was 20 and he was 21, we have been married almost 8 years now with two kids. I would never change anything. We already had an apartment together...both had good paying jobs and were very responsible for our age. We bought a house after we got married, and never looked back. (btw we didn't get married because of a baby, we didn't have our first son till two years after we were married)


But I wouldn't say all 20 year olds are ready to get married.

PunkyRachel

I've always thought, if you're in love, and you can't picture living without them, then it doesn't matter. Just do it! I always get told I got married too young. I was 19, my husband 20. We didn't even have alcohol because we were under age. So just because of that, I would say be at least legal drinking age, where ever you live.

christine24t

Too many people are wasting their youth in my opinion on relationships! Have fun while you are young!

What part of being married is wasting my youth? My husband and I have fun every day.

I don't think you have the same experience when you're in a relationship. My friends in relationships and my single friends are so different. My relationship friends hate the bars and want to go home early, would rather stay in than go out anyway, and they worry about what their partner thinks all the time. Young singles can do what you want on a moment's notice without having to check with others and they don't have to worry about what your partner says..I could write a list all day! It's not the same having fun being single and having fun in a relationship.
I'm not faulting those in relationships at a young age. But I am saying don't rush into relationships at a young age, because being young is when you're supposed to have fun and be carefree, and if you're in a relationship, you're sometimes held down by the other person, whether intentionally or not.

Not everyone WANTS that experience though. I've never been much of a party person. Even in college I wanted to stay in instead of go out and get hammered. I go out once in a while now but I'd never want to do that all the time. There's just more important things to do.

Me either. I was never interested in having the "typical college experience" and going out and partying. In fact, I think I've had BETTER experiences with my husband than I would have had without him. (especially since we didn't get married because of a child)

Agree. I hate parties. The only time I have ever gone to one was when a friend begged me to...and I didn't enjoy myself that much.

Well I'm not gonna win this one clearly. And I go out almost every weekend and I barely drink so it's not about drinking to me. I'm just personally really glad I didn't miss out on my fun and crazy college days that'll I'll never get back! But that's just me, I get that some people aren't that way.

LenaMena87

I got married at 22...honestly age is just a number! Looking at previous posts...it sucks that they are saying never....marriage is what you make it. My husband and I are very happy together...

alyson820

early 30s, definitely

rachellosesitall85

I just got married last July and I'm 26 going on 27 and we're not even thinking of having children. But, even at 26, we've both still have a lot of growing up to do within ourselves and with each other. Age truly is just a number. When I was younger I was never one of those little girls who wanted to get married and I would've been happy without.

I don't think there's a certain "ready" age as maturity and responsibility sometimes doesn't come to a person for years and those are major things in a marriage. Also, some people mature way earlier and are ready for marriage. Some say that if they are planning to start a family, 22 is a good age. You've been around long enough, and you won't be 50 when your kids are like, 15 haha.

However, they have studies that say that people who had time to finish college and have a good century (lol) in a job (30s+) are better candidates for marriage/children as they have more of a foundation and they have more time to spend with their children as they are more settled in. In my opinion, there is no certain age, we have longer life spans now as back then getting married at 13 was crucial as you usually didn't live past 50.

Thatsdatdiva601

I'll say 25 simply because that's the age I was...makes no sense I know..,but seriously, when you find the right person that makes you feel complete!

ironanimal

I've always thought that would be when myself and my partner were financially stable and settled somewhere. Children would come later, and not before marriage; time to save somewhat and enjoy a few years of marriage without the stress and pressure of sprogs.

Kenzietea2

Too many people are wasting their youth in my opinion on relationships! Have fun while you are young!

What part of being married is wasting my youth? My husband and I have fun every day.

I don't think you have the same experience when you're in a relationship. My friends in relationships and my single friends are so different. My relationship friends hate the bars and want to go home early, would rather stay in than go out anyway, and they worry about what their partner thinks all the time. Young singles can do what you want on a moment's notice without having to check with others and they don't have to worry about what your partner says..I could write a list all day! It's not the same having fun being single and having fun in a relationship.
I'm not faulting those in relationships at a young age. But I am saying don't rush into relationships at a young age, because being young is when you're supposed to have fun and be carefree, and if you're in a relationship, you're sometimes held down by the other person, whether intentionally or not.

Not everyone WANTS that experience though. I've never been much of a party person. Even in college I wanted to stay in instead of go out and get hammered. I go out once in a while now but I'd never want to do that all the time. There's just more important things to do.

Me either. I was never interested in having the "typical college experience" and going out and partying. In fact, I think I've had BETTER experiences with my husband than I would have had without him. (especially since we didn't get married because of a child)

Agree. I hate parties. The only time I have ever gone to one was when a friend begged me to...and I didn't enjoy myself that much.

Well I'm not gonna win this one clearly. And I go out almost every weekend and I barely drink so it's not about drinking to me. I'm just personally really glad I didn't miss out on my fun and crazy college days that'll I'll never get back! But that's just me, I get that some people aren't that way.

I don't think there is a winner or loser on this one, everyone has had some equally valid points. I think it depends on individuals and what they prefer. Some are ready to settle down much younger than others, and some need to get the fun, spontaneous things out of the way before they can...
And believe it or not, there are some couples that can still be extremely spontaneous and not need to check in with their spouse with every little move they make! It really is a case by case basis.

I was definitely not one for the partying either... I chose to go to a military high school and college and have never been 'wild' really... definitely still spontaneous though!

Ocarina

I got married at 20. It was true love. We are still married 3 years later and have had absolutely no issues that would make us question it. I've never met a nicer person and he's my best friend. I think it helps we get along so well and have the same goals in mind and have the same interests/mindset. We do not have kids and financially do very well. I have struggled with him before with no income or little income and we lived through it. Without him I don't think I would be as happy and successful as I am now. If I was it would of been a lot more heart ache.

And we are definitely not wasting our youth away....... Going to the bar and having sex with random strangers or drinking until you are stupid is NOT living life. Sorry. But you do not have to be single to fully enjoy life. I go hiking, shopping attend church, laugh, watch movies, drink, play video games, drive around aimlessly, blow money, plan things, dream, rough house, decorate, hang out with friends WITH my husband. I do so much more now then I did when I was single.... We are totally living life to the max!
IDEALLY speaking I do not think 20 is a good age to be engaged. I think 25 and up. Children for ME PERSONALLY I think optimally late 20s and up after school is over and done with and you have a good career.

RenCara

I got married at 23. We were right out of college and totally in love with no jobs. We have been able to make it work for 19 years and counting. However, ever time I hear my daughters speak of getting married as young as we did, I shudder. It was way too young. And honestly, had we lived together before getting married, I don't think I would have gone through with the wedding (My husband changed a lot after we married. Thankfully, we were able to adapt and remain the best of friends) Given all this, I believe 26ish is a good age to marry... you have time to find yourself and have given yourself enough time to experience what you want in a husband. And even marrying at that age, I would wait a few years before having children. Oh, that's when the real fun begins!

bluberrygoo

I married my husband in October 2011 and I was 22. The perfect age for me. We have also lived with each other for four years and have two kids.

almonds1

61

cdnider

When you know it is right for you. When you find a mate that you can be yourselves around have fun and you will know who you met that person that you want to spend the rest of your life together.

KayteeBear

Agree. I hate parties. The only time I have ever gone to one was when a friend begged me to...and I didn't enjoy myself that much.

Well I'm not gonna win this one clearly. And I go out almost every weekend and I barely drink so it's not about drinking to me. I'm just personally really glad I didn't miss out on my fun and crazy college days that'll I'll never get back! But that's just me, I get that some people aren't that way.

Haha, the funny thing is with me I love to drink (not get drunk, but try drinks and stuff) but I hate going out. I LOVE hanging out with friends at their places or mine and drinking and acting goofy and having spa days and watching movies and dancing like idiots and swimming at midnight in their pool, etc, etc. I hate going out though. Some of my most fun friends EVER are actually my boyfriend's cousins who I see all the time.

ifucsam

I got married at 20. It was true love. We are still married 3 years later and have had absolutely no issues that would make us question it. I've never met a nicer person and he's my best friend. I think it helps we get along so well and have the same goals in mind and have the same interests/mindset. We do not have kids and financially do very well. I have struggled with him before with no income or little income and we lived through it. Without him I don't think I would be as happy and successful as I am now. If I was it would of been a lot more heart ache.

And we are definitely not wasting our youth away....... Going to the bar and having sex with random strangers or drinking until you are stupid is NOT living life. Sorry. But you do not have to be single to fully enjoy life. I go hiking, shopping attend church, laugh, watch movies, drink, play video games, drive around aimlessly, blow money, plan things, dream, rough house, decorate, hang out with friends WITH my husband. I do so much more now then I did when I was single.... We are totally living life to the max!
IDEALLY speaking I do not think 20 is a good age to be engaged. I think 25 and up. Children for ME PERSONALLY I think optimally late 20s and up after school is over and done with and you have a good career.

This was my point earlier. Why do people think a spouse holds you back from doing anything at all? My husband has helped me discover things I truly love. He's motivated me way more than a friend or a parent could have if I had not met him!

bellevie23

wow there are so many pessimistic answers lol. I would say mid 20's to mid 30's. I was 24 when I got married and to me it was perfect timing. There is no set age , it just depends when you are ready.

Probbbabbblyyyy because some of us have been at that lovey-dovey stage thought it was the "right one" and went years and then a divorce came...I dont think anyone marries someone being like 'ehhh he may be the right one he may not be, what the hell lets get married'....they do because they feel that person is.

If someone would have told me years ago that my wonderful marriage would end leaving me with three children to raise, I wouldn't have believed them *obviously* I am not opposed to marriage, but I dont think people should think it wont happen to them, nor should they rush, and I do believe quite a few people who have lasting relationships, most likely their parents did, and their parents etc. If you come from a broken home so-to-speak it is said you are at a higher risk of divorce.

But yeah, we are prob pessimistic because if someone would have asked this to us pre-divorce time, we would have responded the same as some of these answers lol, fact is people get divorced months into a marriage, a few years into it, and decades into it. Sometimes you see it coming sometimes you dont, the few (well what seems like few) who do last into old age, should consider themselves lucky, and I guarantee all of them got married at various ages. Just depends..but people shouldnt be naive in thinking it will never happen to them because they are 'so in love' right now. You may be ready and your partner might realize down the line they thought they were but werent. :noway:

niftyafterfifty

I think the ideal time is when you've met that special someone you don't want to live without. I've been married for 32 1/2 years. He is not only my husband, but my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without him. I hope you're lucky enough to find someone that special.

niftyafterfifty

I want to add that marriage is a commitment; it's also a decision. Mike and I decided from the very beginning that divorce was not an option for us; it was off the table. We would make it work. Abuse and infidelity are the only 2 acceptable reasons for divorce as far as I'm concerned.

cakeums

Sounds like a trick question. The REAL answer is when you can financially support a family. EDUCATED or NOT, I cant stand to have to support another family through taxation and "gubment" assistance. Get an EDUCATION first. Get a spouse when you can find a job in an already flooded market (thousands of college graduates are tending bar, flipping burgers or waiting tables two to four years after graduation. Yep, its a trick question? Perhaps not.

Are food service jobs not acceptable jobs if they pay the bills? My husband has a "real" job, I wait tables. I have a degree and he does not. I make twice as much money as he does. So where is the problem with my job, by your definition?