Kids say the funniest things!

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  • SnakeDarling
    SnakeDarling Posts: 352 Member
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    One year old and gramma:

    Brooke: Nani, do you have any money I can have?
    Nani: No, Bookah, I'm broke
    Brooke: Oh... Can I have your ccredit card, then?
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    My 7-year-old had watched our rabbits have a couple of litters last winter.
    Charlotte: Mom, how many kids did you have when I was born?
    Mom: Just you.
    Charlotte: Like there weren't more and you gave them away on Craiglist?
    Mom: No just you.
    Charlotte: That's weird, why only one?

    That. is. hilarious. :laugh:
  • Tamstar1985
    Tamstar1985 Posts: 334 Member
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    the most recent adorable thing was heard from my nephew, alex, over christmastime. i was chatting with him on the phone:

    me: hey, little dude, what are you getting for christmas?
    alex: a monster truck. and an orange dinosaur!
    me: oooohh, an orange dinosaur, i'd like one too!
    alex: (high pitched yell into the phone) noooooo!!! there's only ONE orange dinosaur! (cue a few seconds of deep breathing into the phone) ...oh, but there's yellow dinosaurs. you can have a yellow one.

    children are amazing :D
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh:
    4 year old: Auntie, Guess what?
    Me: what
    4 yo: I"m sexy and I know it.
    Me: really
    4 yo: Ya, I work out.
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
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    also when i started my degree i was placed with a child who on the first day looked up at me and said "whatcha doing for lunch, i got two cookies and one of them could be yours *wink*" he was 5! haha so cute, i gotta love em

    <3
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
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    When my son was 4, we went grocery shopping and when it came time to check out, we went through a cashiers line who had a mole on her chin. It was a large mole with several hairs on it. My son looked very concerned.

    My son.. you have a tick on your face
    Cashier .. that's not a tick sweetheart
    My son ... yes it is, it has legs on it!

    I almost died!

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • stlbluesangel
    stlbluesangel Posts: 23 Member
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    After working out the other day I was getting ready to take my 5 year old to her dad's house. I was in the kitchen getting a few things ready but was still in only my sports bra and shorts.

    Mackenzie: Mommy, come on..let's go now.
    Me: Alright, give me just a minute and we'll leave.
    Mackenzie: You can't leave the house like that!
    Me: Why not?
    Mackenzie: Because Mom, everyone will see your armpits.

    It was hilarious.
  • w2bab
    w2bab Posts: 353 Member
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    When my daughter was 3, she was sitting on my lap while we were watching a movie. She was getting kind of squirmy so I pointed to the TV and said, "Look! They're chasing the bad guy."

    She turned around, looked at me, and calmly said, "Mom, it's a movie. He's not really a bad guy. He's an actor."
  • elysianashes
    elysianashes Posts: 100
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    I was at a gift shop with my then 5-year-old niece when a very obese man walked past us. In her best very loud stage whisper, my niece said, "Aunt. Becky. That man... is FAT. He is OVERBLOWED." I don't think he heard her, but all the same I was glad it was obvious I wasn't her mom lol.

    My other niece and nephew (when they were about 4 and 5 years old) were visiting us for a week when I was a teenager. They wanted to go out and play, and my niece was pulling her shorts up and doing the potty dance. My mom told her she had to run and use the bathroom before she went outside, to which my niece said, "Grandma, I don't gotta go potty." Mom told her again that she looked like she probably should go first, and my niece said, "GRANDMA, I don't GOTTA go POTTY!" Mom told her one last time that if she didn't go to the bathroom, she wouldn't be going outside to play, so she finally went. Afterwards, she creeped meekly back as she went to go outside and said, "I had to potty."

    When I was really little, I was helping my mom fold laundry one day and came across a pair of my dad's briefs. Apparently I shrieked with laughter, and when Mom asked me what was so funny, I said, "Dad's underwear has POCKETS!" and collapsed into giggles.

    I tried telling this joke to my mom and sister once when I was about 4:
    Me: "What do taxi drivers put in their shoes to make them smell better?"
    Mom and sis: "I don't know, what?"
    Me: "TAXI pads!"
    Turns out I had no idea what maxi pads were for and apparently some commercial gave me the impression that they were for getting rid of foot odor. My mom and sister thought it was a hilarious joke, but not for the same reason I did.
  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
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    Three of my faves from when my kids were younger:

    "Mummy, the world is full of wonderful people we've not met and they're all going to love us! "
    (if only)

    "Mummy, why do they call it a Barbie Queue when there are never any Barbies?"
    (BBQ)

    "When I'm Anna..."
    (Youngest used to think she was going to turn into her sister)

    :happy:

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