OMG! I don't want to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Articeluvsmemphis

Do not eat bananas. Bananas will kill you. I read it here, on MFP. trust.

My sentiments EXACTLY

MercenaryNoetic26

Damn. I been on a hot dog binge.

spareparts79

I just heard about this terminal disease, its called LIFE . . . it kills every damn one of us!

Enjoy your red meat, it is the perk of being at the top of the food chain.

p.s. Vegetarians . . . my food poops on your food.

STrooper

Although I don't eat much red meat, when I do, I do enjoy it.

"I only ate it because it was there!"

Mzfoster0517

I read once that eating dog food was the healthiest thing a person could eat,it had all the right proportions of essential nutrients and vitamins.
Figured what the heck I would give it a try.

Everyday for a year I ate nothing but dog food,meals and snacks.
Had a nice selection of dry and moist varieties.

Soon I found I could run faster and eventually all my senses were heightened,could smell something cooking from nearly a mile away and hear a fire siren from 5 miles away,it was like a miracle.:drinker:
Sadly it almost killed me though and have to warn everyone else about the dangers.:frown:









One day I was out in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

:laugh:

Hoakiebs

Not to alarm anybody, but we are ALL going to die!

Tiggerrick

just stop eating animals all together and you'll be fine!

But... but...but...women are animals too..... NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

mfisher16508

well peeps, it was nice knowin ya, and besides, we all are gonna die of SOMETHING someday, might as well be meat....

Taneil27

My goodness. It seems like no matter what we do, what products we use, what food we eat... they are all going to kill us. One day it's good for you, the next day it gives you cancer.

KatKatatrophic

I think it means RED meat...eat all the meat you want, just for the love of God, cook it right! Now to the bloody prime rib...throw that thing back in the oven (or grill?? Ours was always oven).

NotGoddess

Do not eat bananas. Bananas will kill you. I read it here, on MFP. trust.

But wait... I heard if you open them from the bottom (of the banana) and eat it that way, it's fine.... :laugh:

True. It's the strings on the bananas that kill you-strangle you in your sleep. Open the banana from the bottom and you kill them.

ironanimal

just stop eating animals all together and you'll be fine!

jillybean0123

Hmmmm...eat nasty fish and live to be old or eat tasty steak and die young. I suppose there is only one real question here. What cut of steak shall I get? A nice medium-rare rib eye sounds delicious right now.

Erica_theRedhead

I think our life expectancies have just gotten too long. People used to live 30 years, now they live 90. Of course, that's billions more cellular multiplations, increasing you risk of cancerous mutations. I def don't believe my medium rare filet mignon will cause cancer, yet if it is the culprit, I find it more delicious than my cell phone signal...

VegGoddess

just stop eating animals all together and you'll be fine!

VEGAN POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Johnnyswife

I read once that eating dog food was the healthiest thing a person could eat,it had all the right proportions of essential nutrients and vitamins.
Figured what the heck I would give it a try.

Everyday for a year I ate nothing but dog food,meals and snacks.
Had a nice selection of dry and moist varieties.

Soon I found I could run faster and eventually all my senses were heightened,could smell something cooking from nearly a mile away and hear a fire siren from 5 miles away,it was like a miracle.:drinker:
Sadly it almost killed me though and have to warn everyone else about the dangers.:frown:









One day I was out in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

Ha!! This reminded me of a joke I got in my email a few weeks ago.

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the foods nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *kitten* and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.

Pepper2185

I recently heard that:

Every human who has lived over the age of 100 consumed a diet including red meat.

???

Elzecat

I read once that eating dog food was the healthiest thing a person could eat,it had all the right proportions of essential nutrients and vitamins.
Figured what the heck I would give it a try.

Everyday for a year I ate nothing but dog food,meals and snacks.
Had a nice selection of dry and moist varieties.

Soon I found I could run faster and eventually all my senses were heightened,could smell something cooking from nearly a mile away and hear a fire siren from 5 miles away,it was like a miracle.:drinker:
Sadly it almost killed me though and have to warn everyone else about the dangers.:frown:









One day I was out in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Elzecat

I better warn my 96-year-old grandmother that she's been putting her life in danger all these years! Before it's too late!

my grandma just turned 92 this past weekend...

Switty_Kitty

kdeaux1959

Balance in all things... except Arsenic.

AntWrig

Hmmm, early death, or prime rib?




It was nice knowing you guys.

Damn that looks good.

Redbird99ky

I read once that eating dog food was the healthiest thing a person could eat,it had all the right proportions of essential nutrients and vitamins.
Figured what the heck I would give it a try.

Everyday for a year I ate nothing but dog food,meals and snacks.
Had a nice selection of dry and moist varieties.

Soon I found I could run faster and eventually all my senses were heightened,could smell something cooking from nearly a mile away and hear a fire siren from 5 miles away,it was like a miracle.:drinker:
Sadly it almost killed me though and have to warn everyone else about the dangers.:frown:









One day I was out in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

I LOVE THIS^^^ I LOVE red meat also. Given that I am 53, I think I have beaten the odds! However, I am almost ALWAYS happy and upbeat, and I DID hear a report on the radio that "Happy people have a 15% lower risk of dying." (I kid you not!)

JMarigold

Reminds me of joke . . .

AntWrig

just stop eating animals all together and you'll be fine!

Yeah, I am really going to ignore millions of years of evolution.

If were were meant to eat plants, our eyes would be to the side.

Emabo

Good thing I typically only eat chicken..

BuddhaBelly79

If you want to die faster, Walk outside and breath the air around you. Use a grill to cook your food. Use shampoos, deodorants and toothpastes, and artificial sweeteners, as well as UN-artificial sweetener (because sweets kill you too). Drink liquids that contain additives and dyes and artificial coloring. Eat vegetables that may contain pesticides or God knows what. Drink milk from cows after they have been fed hormones and whatever else they are pumping into those 4-legged *kitten*. Drive your car on the Highway, interstate or country road. Inhale gasoline by accident at the gas pump. -- My point....You are going to die. From SOMETHING. Probably something retarded. You may live a long beefless life, then get bladder cancer when your in your 80's and that will be what kills you. EVERYTHING AROUND US is dangerous these days....even the air in your own home. We are born, to die. Sad but true - thus, I eat steak. Moo.

stubbysticks

I thought only Asian people opened bananas from the bottom. Who leaked our secret???

ironanimal

just stop eating animals all together and you'll be fine!

VEGAN POWER!!!!!!!!!!

rml_16

I better warn my 96-year-old grandmother that she's been putting her life in danger all these years! Before it's too late!

I was thinking the same thing only my grandma is only 92! She is recovering from her first major health issue. She had a stroke but the therapists all told her she is the fastest recovering patient they have had, young or old! Ohhh, and she did this with eating meat! Miracles do happen ya know!! And she even lived alone till the stroke. She is back in her house and hoping to live independentally soon!!!

Mine has had sky-high cholesterol forever and never had a stroke or heart attack.

She did nearly die about a year ago. For some reason, her heart wasn't functioning right and they put in a pacemaker. Her kidneys and liver were failing and the PM wasn't quite working right. My aunt signed a DNR and the docs were certain she wasn't going to make it. A month later, she was back home and her OLDER sister died. Her older sister wasn't even sick. She just didn't wake up one morning.

I guess I have some good genes.

Anyway, I have a magnet that I love:

Life -- sexually transmitted and always fatal.