body image issues with boy children

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JenAiMarres
JenAiMarres Posts: 767 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I am a mother of three boys..I have been highly obsessed with my figure since I had my first son 11 years ago.I was determined to not let a baby ruin my body...and it didn't!! I have always "dieted" (or just eaten right as a lifestyle). As of a year ago I started working out and became even more conscious of my body. During this whe transition to working out my husband started eating right and going to the gym daily as well..Everythibg is great, we work out hard and it shows!! Definitely not a bad thing...

Buttttt... With all this focus on food, eating , not eating, protein, cardio, weights...I hear my kids talking about things like calories, the gym and protein...My 11 y/o was chatting my mom up about the differences between regular bacon an turkey bacon at ihop!! and my 5 year old even asked me if I was eating something ( i think it was cottage chesse) to loose weight or for protein!!! It made me feel sad...plus my son was just taking progress pics of my husband..I know we don't want to instill bad eating habits in our children but I think that even healthy eating habits can be excessive when it comes to children!

I thought with all boys I would not worry about them having skewed body images, but I'm not so sure any more!
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Replies

  • fitby38
    fitby38 Posts: 307 Member
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    ... smh...
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
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    lol
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 888 Member
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    As a mom of 5 sons...I think that you are giving your boys a good body image. In today's society, we see a lot of over weight and un healthy moms and dads. As a society, we are passing these habits onto our children.

    My husband has always been healthy, lifts weights, cardio and watches what he eats. Now that our sons are teenagers, they are healthy young men. They play sports, they eat well (yes, I do pack them chips and little debbies), but they do not over eat, they are some of their only friends that do not have a jelly belly. It pleases me to know that we are passing a healthy lifestyle onto our boys and I hope that they pass it onto their children as well. And, my boys are proud that their dad is known as the muscular dad and that their dad can still keep up with them in baseball, soccer, and football.

    I would say the same thing about education...would you be "obsessing too much" if your 5 year old son understood the difference between adverbs and adjectives? You would be proud that not only could your young child read well, but he also knew how to use an adverb correctly!!! :)

    You are passing good habit onto your boys!!
  • fitby38
    fitby38 Posts: 307 Member
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    seriously? ...smh...
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 888 Member
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    I wonder why some people not only write one rude comment, but feel like they have to write two rude comments? Maybe it makes them feel better about themselves.

    I come onto the message boards to help other moms and other women, while others come onto the message boards to make fun of others!

    Jen, keep educating your sons about nutrition and teach them to treat others with kindness and respect!
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 767 Member
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    Thanks tink...I like your analogy about education in your first post...I want to ensure that my kids are all fit and healthy and they do have great habits so far!! I guess I would rather that than them wanting mc Donald's or crap in their lunches! I do want them to go to the gym and know that health is important...I guess my point is I always thougt that I would worry about girls not boys in this area!!!

    Thanks for the support!! :)
  • Sytera
    Sytera Posts: 75
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    I think you are doing right by your sons. We have three boys and I am proud that they know about healthy eating and exercise. If I get myself a little unhealthy treat, they point out that it isn't healthy. I don't think they will ever obsess over body image because they have such a great start to healthy lives.
  • StrawberrySt
    StrawberrySt Posts: 235
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    What does smh mean anyway?

    Jen, I think your boys are growing up with a healthy lifestyle and positive body image. In Australia they have a huge focus on nutrition in schools now and teach kids what foods are "sometimes foods" which I think is great.

    And I'm sure your boys will thank you when they're older and have great bodies because they know all about 'protein' and 'macros'
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 767 Member
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    Smh...means shaking my head...

    Thank u all for the insight...I guess it is knowledge I wish I had grown up with or didn't start breaking into later in life. We eat, we eat healthfully and we work out!! Not bad things by any means!

    I think maybe my verbiage in my original post is what set off the "smh" comment(s) I tend to speak dramatically...I said I am "highly obsessed with my figure" when really I meant" I am very conscious of my figure". Who knows!?!?
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    I think it's great that you do this for your family as a whole. My family ate like pigs when I was little, but they encouraged us to be athletic so I was skinny, but for years after I quit being an athlete, I just gained and gained and gained the weight every year. I wish I had known about eating well and what foods have what nutrients at a young age.

    I think as long as you focus on the food and not things like their body shape or size, you'll be doing just fine. I would avoid putting yourself down or pointing out small flaws in yourself or your husband around them. Really, it should be more about being healthy, fit, and able to live the best life possible, not all about the looks.

    BTW, you look FAN-tastic! I cannot tell you have 3 children. Great work!
  • D446
    D446 Posts: 266 Member
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    seriously? ...smh...

    What's with this?
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 767 Member
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    I think as long as you focus on the food and not things like their body shape or size, you'll be doing just fine. I would avoid putting yourself down or pointing out small flaws in yourself or your husband around them. Really, it should be more about being healthy, fit, and able to live the best life possible, not all about the looks.

    BTW, you look FAN-tastic! I cannot tell you have 3 children. Great work!

    Thank u so much!! We work hard at it :) and you are so right about the flaws...that is probably something I could work on..good reminder!!! Definitely keeping it food and health focused is key!!
  • Yacki
    Yacki Posts: 46 Member
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    Jen -
    I have started to wonder the same thing about my boys. Both of my boys are very skinny - they need to gain weight. They are like my husband and have an awesome metabilism. My weight loss journey is affecting them - we go for walks and bike rides together. From time to time - I hear them ask about the calories in food. I know that I am setting a good example for them. I feel that I am helping them to understand that being healthy means eating helathy and getting exercise. I think that someday this may help them in their relationship with their wives- I mean they will be more understanding of weight issues that women face since they are seeing what I am doing to try to get healthy. So continue to do what you are doing! It only makes them more compasionate for anyone who is having weight issues. Good luck with your weight loss / living healthy - goals!
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
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    I am a mother of three boys..I have been highly obsessed with my figure since I had my first son 11 years ago.I was determined to not let a baby ruin my body...and it didn't!! I have always "dieted" (or just eaten right as a lifestyle). As of a year ago I started working out and became even more conscious of my body. During this whe transition to working out my husband started eating right and going to the gym daily as well..Everythibg is great, we work out hard and it shows!! Definitely not a bad thing...

    Buttttt... With all this focus on food, eating , not eating, protein, cardio, weights...I hear my kids talking about things like calories, the gym and protein...My 11 y/o was chatting my mom up about the differences between regular bacon an turkey bacon at ihop!! and my 5 year old even asked me if I was eating something ( i think it was cottage chesse) to loose weight or for protein!!! It made me feel sad...plus my son was just taking progress pics of my husband..I know we don't want to instill bad eating habits in our children but I think that even healthy eating habits can be excessive when it comes to children!

    I thought with all boys I would not worry about them having skewed body images, but I'm not so sure any more!
    that is bad@as! Not enough parents good habits rub off on their kids. Your kids are asking about your eating behaviors. Instead of asking about twinkies,ding dongs, and pizza he asked you a question about weightloss and protein. Congrats your kids are ahead of the obesity game.
  • OregonNativ3
    OregonNativ3 Posts: 14
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    I think it is very important for a family to eat well, and maintain an active lifestyle. I wasn't active for a good portion of my life and I regret it now. I plan to raise my children on a healthy diet and an active lifestyle.

    Don't sweat it. You are preventing your children from going down a path many of us wish we had not gone down. Good for you, and GREAT for them!
  • dorktaped
    dorktaped Posts: 15 Member
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    I see this as a definite good thing! Had I known about all this only a few years ago (male or female) I probably wouldn't be on this site today. Major kudos to you for bringing your kids up right!
  • tawnajean
    tawnajean Posts: 20
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    My hubby and I were just talking about this! We've noticed our kids talking a lot more about calories, etc since we started MFP and we were kinda freaked out by it, too! My hubby doesn't like to look things up, so he's always asking me how many calories are in things, so I shoulda known it was coming :)

    I think it's good for kids to learn about nutrition and exercise, we just have to teach them moderation so that they don't obsess over it.

    PS You know its bad too, when you do 30DS and your kids ask why you aren't doing "real" push-ups! lol! Fun for the whole family :)
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    I don't see a problem I see it as pretty damned good parenting.

    They talk about it now, they will get those habits ingrained into their brains now. I know plenty of lifetime healthy people and it is only because their parents taught them nutrition at an early age.

    Hey its better that they are talking about it and actively participating. Any communication is good communication when they become teens that is going to get harder.

    Good job ! I would call this "problem" an NSV.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
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    Hopefully, I can ease your mind. I grew up with a very judgmental mother when it came to how I looked. She would often cut me down about what I looked like. I wasn't fat but she made me feel like I was ugly and unworthy. Additionally, when I was picked on in school and would tell her about it, she'd say "It's because you are so unfriendly". She definitely didn't provide a soft place to land Crazily, she still does it and I'm 41! I don't think she is completely aware of how she makes all of us kids feel.

    She's the master of the backhanded compliment. She recently told my girlfriend, who had lost a few pounds "You're getting so pretty now!" I kid you not. My girlfriend is a trooper and understands that my mom has little awareness of how her comments are received. Thank goodness. If I had been there at the time, there would have been a huge fight.

    What you are doing, based on your description, is completely different. As long as you put the emphasis on health and not appearance you are doing your kids a service rather than causing them harm. Relax.
  • AussieMisfit
    AussieMisfit Posts: 78 Member
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    I offered my 4y.o son McDonalds the other day (I know - SMH :laugh: ) and he said, "No, I want something healthy".

    I think it's a good thing.

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