body image issues with boy children

HorrorChix89

what does smh mean

It means "Shaking my head"...i had to look it up...I'm not fluent in forum trash talk!!

SMH isn't trash talk...

xo_morgan

Better than the Mom's who let their children stuff their faces with donuts & fast food french fries.

Agreed! When I see unhealthy sized children, I SMH at the parents.

Same here! It makes me mad that people criticize parents for instilling healthy habits in their childrens heads. My parents didnt. And i still have "body image issues".

EBell83

I don't think this is a bad thing. Thanks to technology, and sites like MFP, information about dietary concerns, etc is readily available to everyone and this is just another (positive) example of how technology is making kids smarter and helping people live longer, healthier, more productive lives. My three year old has words like "smartphone" in her vocabulary, and now "cardio" which makes my father laugh because he knows that at three, these were not words I would have been exposed to. I don't restrict her diet, but I've provided her with a lot of healthy options and even though she still eats cakes and potato chips, there's a healthy mix of fruits, veggies, and proteins in her diet as well, because she likes those things, not because I'm a health obsessed parent. She likes to do her "cardio" with me (she just does jumping jacks) because three years olds like to jump around and burn up energy, not because I'm a health nut. I hope this provides some positive feedback for the good example you've set for your sons :-)

fitby38

SMH isn't trash talk...

thank you!!

from a sista to a sista LMBO!

JenAiMarres

Wow! Thanks everyone for the great objective responses! Lots of food for thought!!! haha!

Appearance IS important to me, I would be lying if I said otherwise..but I do teach that all humans are beautiful...and will focus more on expressing my interest in fitness and clean(er) eating as a helathy lifestyle rather than a means to "look good".

Also I do not discuss eating habits directly with my children, and I certainly love occasional sweets!!!! I think they more or less pick up on the "lingo" from talk between my husband and myself.

Thanks again!!!!!
Happy Friday everyone!

cutmd

This is an interesting discussion. My DH is very into fitness and into eating whole foods but he is very against calorie counting and such. I think the fact that i'vE been banned from discussing calories may help me because I want my kids to pick up on fitness and balanced eating of whole foods but I don't want them to pick up on calories, etc and certainly not that sensation of feeling overweight. Ideally I want them to be like my DH and never have to think about calories but be really fit. I agree the most dangerous things to pass on is associating fitness or calories with poor body image since anyone can get an eating disorder

Eta: it's true that some of the things you said like behind highly obsessed with your figure and not letting kids to ruin your body sounded bad in the context of the discussion but something that touches most women on some levels....

tiffany1185

I agree with most on here. Im not a mother yet and I am seriously overweight trying my hardest to get it off. My only wish was that a healthy lifestyle was preached to me as a child so I could understand exactly what I was doing to my body. I think you are doing great. Just let them know that with hard work also comes rewards so dont be afraid to treat yourself once in a while.

Many children try to copy what their parents are doing maybe let them join in your workouts , try not to be obsessed with weighing yourself or feeling bad if you dont eat exactly right for a few days.

Friends of mine with children also like to get them to pick meals and help prepare them too. Fajitas and tacos are always fun and if they are full of veggies and low fat high protein meat then they can be healthy.

Hope this helps

Sheila1968

I agree with the others that instilling good habits and an understanding of the correlation between eating, exercising, and staying healthy is very important.

That being said, my ex-husband was bulimic (I'm sure he still is) - and no one would believe me because society tends to see it as a "young white girl" condition when in fact eating disorders cross all ethnic, gender, and age lines. For him it was part of his general OCD behavior (obsessive compulsive disorder). He saw food as an area he could "control" in his life. He was also ridiculously tight with money, and therefore could "save" money by not eating at home, then would binge when we were at friends, at a buffet, or any other place where portions were not controlled. He would then come home and vomit - not because he was trying to be thin so much as his stomach would rebel after suddenly having SO much food at one time. Several times he passed out and the paramedics had to be called. Obviously his was a rather extreme case, but I mention it because somewhere, at some point in his life, this condition developed. Keep an eye on your kids/parents/loved ones. You never know who will be affected by this.

And I'm not trying to be melodramatic - just pointing out a situation that I lived with for many, many years before realizing that I could not help him.

my2boiz

My son is the same way. He now chooses apples instead of cookies!! He is 5 and he's already aware of the effects of terrible food. Every time we leave the gym he tells me "you look good mommy". He also appreciates that I cook yummy food for dinner instead of going to the drive thru of where ever. So, keep doing what you're doing. As long as you don't see them looking in the mirror and calling themselves fat or anything like that, I think this is fantastic!!!

confuzzledwife

I have a 10 year old son who was slightly overweight. When I started my journey to losing weight in January, he watched me as I was counting calories, going shopping for healthier foods, and exercising. He asked if he could exercise with me, he started asking me a lot of questions about healthy foods vs junk, and how to lose weight, and together we are BOTH losing weight!

I talked to his pediatrician about how many calories he should be eating and my son is now considered to be in a healthy weight range! All his pants are falling off of him, they were tight just 2 months ago, he lost more inches vs. lbs. He has more energy, he chooses to move more over playing video games, and makes his own healthier food choices. If he wants a cookie, he will limit himself without having to be told.

Personally, I think it's great that you and your husband are good role models for your sons!

la8dcruz

I think you're doing a great job teaching your children about healthy eating. I have an 8 year old daughter and she is aware of healthy eating and exercise. I have taught her how bad fast food is and that even some of the stuff in the store can be dangerous to our health. The main thing that she is taught is the balance of what she eats, how important veggies are, the intake of water, and eating the healthier meats for protein. I like that she will ask me if something is healthy before she eats it so that we discuss why it is good or bad for her. BUT I also allow her the option of the goodies that she likes too. Weekends (Fridays) is our day to treat ourselves to which ever place she likes to eat, ice cream/frozen yogurt is allowed on days that she has practice for her sports since she exercised (2 times a week) and I make sure to have fruit in the house and I stock a small amount of cookies or granola bars that I have identified as a healthier choice out of what I have found at Fresh & easy or Trader Joe's. Family parties is an anything goes, the only thing she has never been allowed to drink is any form of dark soda. I don't see anything wrong with educating our children, hell, many teach their kids to eat crap like McDonalds and burger king.... what's wrong with us teaching our kids health?

ninerbuff

Good eating and health start at home. Setting a good example will carry over. I see it in my daughter now and she want to exercise with me as soon as she's old enough.
There is NOTHING wrong with giving the right knowledge to your kids.


A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Daydreams406

Wow! Thanks everyone for the great objective responses! Lots of food for thought!!! haha!

Appearance IS important to me, I would be lying if I said otherwise..but I do teach that all humans are beautiful...and will focus more on expressing my interest in fitness and clean(er) eating as a helathy lifestyle rather than a means to "look good".

Also I do not discuss eating habits directly with my children, and I certainly love occasional sweets!!!! I think they more or less pick up on the "lingo" from talk between my husband and myself.

Thanks again!!!!!
Happy Friday everyone!

that is good to know, because from your original post where you stated that you were "dertermined to not let the baby ruin your body..." I was a bit concerned. That is a really negative comment, and to think that you actually thought "the baby" would be to BLAME for anything that your body naturally went through during pregnancy...just wow. Not a good impression is all.
Also you yourself used the word "diet" and that you had been doing it all your life pretty much, then referring to your husband "starting" to eat healthy. I would think that you were not feeding your family well balanced meals by that statement.
Your obssession with looks/appearance/ is disturbing on some levels. I deifinitely hope that you teach your boys that all people regardless of body size are of value. Not just the "skinny", "pretty" ones.
Because with all the talk of dieting, calories, etc....children could end up assuming that the children who don't talk about that stuff or eat like they do, are less than they are. Not something you would want your children thinking of course.
Of course children learn about healthy eating from home...mom (or dad) does the cooking, and they either eat well balanced meals, or they eat junk. I said before, kids are a lot smarter than people think. They soak up everything. Schools do teach nutrition as well, and the value of exercise, so its not like they will never hear about it if the parents don't talk about it.
You can bring up nutrition with your children in good conversation, without all the negative connotations that go along with "dieting".
Someone used learning in school as an analogy....that is apples and oranges in my opinion. We are talking about children learning by example and what they are learning. Not something they have to know because it will be on next weeks test.
My main point is that you should be careful about how you let your kids know about nutrition and fitness. It should be about health, not appearance (heavy undertones in your posts about appearance being overly important to you). Your kids could end up picking up that appearance is more important and start to see others through that view. Beauty comes in all sizes, because it comes from the inside first and radiates out.

Lolli1986

OP: I think that if you felt concerned enough by this to want to discuss it, then maybe discussing it with your husband is the thing to do. Yes it is very important for kids to learn about protein, carbohydrates, nutrition, portions, etc, and to learn it verbally! It's also important that they learn that if you don't have an active job or play sports of an evening, then yes, you have to go to the gym. However...

A question about whether you're eating cottage cheese to lose fat indicates concern from your child, to me. He can look at you and see that you are a very thin and fit woman, and that you do not need to lose fat, so when he sees you eating something that he clearly already knows is low in fat, he might be getting the perception that you're fat, or that you think you're fat. THIS is what you do not want. You do not want them thinking that when they are fit and healthy they are actually not. That when they are thin, they are not.

The point of a healthy lifestyle is that it becomes something one does not need to obsess about or count. You know what is good and what is bad and what has protein and what has fat and what happens when you eat too much sugar. You know what happens when you run and when you don't. You know that when you shift from a job packing shelves to a desk job, or study, that you need to go to the gym more. You know your bmi limits and you don't freak out about shifting around within them a bit. You know that being able to run a good few kilometres is a good thing for your heart, and that getting up a bit of a sweat and racing heart is a great thing for you. None of it is stressful - none of it involves counting or obsessing. It just involves knowing that it's just what you have to do to be your healthiest and happiest.

Trust your gut and maybe try to shift toward a less stressful approach to healthy and fitness yourself. If you talk about it so much that your kids are picking up on it then I think you could benefit from cooling it with the clocking in every calorie. you clearly know what you're doing since you've remained healthy for so long.

I grew up as a 'work hard, eat cereal, sandwiches, meat and 3 veg, some fruit and very small treats... go outside and play then do your chores!' sort of kid. The only thing my parents did 'wrong' in terms of health was that they were both very anti 'exercise' and pro 'work hard doing your job/chores'. I did not have a problem with anything until I got a desk job. This is how I learned that I NEED to run if i can't work hard all day. I read the back of my cereal packet and listened in school when they taught me about the food pyramid, so i understood what all the different foods were composed of and how much of them to eat.

Because you live a healthy lifestyle your kids already have the very best head start to health that they can get. Health doesn't need to be associated with a scary thing that needs to be obsessed over and counted all the time - this is just a method for those of us who did not learn the very things you are teaching your kids through feeding them right and setting the example. You're doing an amazing, amazing job, but yeah, I say trust your gut - it got twisted for a reason. It sounds like obsessing and counting is not what you want for your kids.

(note: i am here because i am trying to figure out how to lose weight with very limited mobility... this is something i could never have picked up as a kid.)