Curious question about weightloss and dating

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  • MrsGoHard
    MrsGoHard Posts: 150 Member
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    I totally write books on this thing so this is an edit.

    Although fat can affect your personality, fat and personality are two totally different things. With that being said...

    1. Would YOU date your true "fat" self, or would you rather date your true "non fat" or "non red head" or "non afraid to wear high heels" or "non whatever your change to yourself is" self?

    2. If yes, then don't date a person who wouldn't. If no, then figure out why and cut the sucka some slack.

    3. It's not wrong to prefer slim goodies at all, just like it's not wrong to prefer chunky munkiez. But it IS hard being in a relationship with someone where you are afraid they'll leave you every time the wind blows your water weight into a frenzy. Trust me on that.
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    edited out
  • yhateme1
    yhateme1 Posts: 29 Member
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    I am a big girl ....I do not date Big boys... So i cant get an attitude... I like what i like you like what you like...but... I will not be giveing you a second change....when you think im smashable...
  • blueandigo
    blueandigo Posts: 296
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    I'd probably have sex with their mom or their granny just to show them not to screw with me.
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    If you had interest in someone and told them but they rejected you because you were overweight but after you loss the weight they began showing interest in you would you turn them down or would you be understanding that they just have a preference and you now fit into their criteria?

    Personally, I am not at my goal weight yet so I haven't really ran into situation.

    Ok first to make sure people dont jump on me for this I just want to say I have met funny confident atttractive active large people HOWEVER....

    I think more things change than lost kilos when a person loses a lot of weight. Many become more confident, outgoing, smile more at people, want to do active fun things. Confidence is very magnetic and catches peoples attention.

    If when you where overweight you were selfconscious, lacking confidence, didnt smile at people because of those things and couldn't do much because your weight restricted you to 18 hours of online gaming well...which person that I have described sounds more attractive to you?

    So don't knee the poor sod and call him a shallow b*stard when some guy you know finally asks you out, he may be picking up your " I feel good about myself vibes" and find you more approachable. (Until you scream like a banshee and knee him that is)
    If your energy totally changes it will attract different people regardless of weight.


    I didn't call anyone shallow. I said I haven't been in the situation that's why I didn't state my own opinion.

    Nor do I think you kneed some guy who asked you out.
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    Well I can say for myself when I was at my heaviest no one was attracted to me not so much because of my size but because of how low I hung my head. So if someone is not attracted to you it may not be because of your size so much as how your size affected your self esteem. I know people who when they lost weight they gained confidence and swagger that made them light up. It wasn't their size but how they carried themselves. I know people who were twice my size but carried themselves in such a way that they had women all over them.

    ^^This
  • pauljsolie
    pauljsolie Posts: 1,024 Member
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    I would say no. Say you do and you get married then hypothetically, (and I know this won't happen to you b/c you are going to do MFP for the rest of your life) you gain back some weight, what's he gonna do, divorce you??? Once shallow, always shallow. Remember the best revenge is living well.
  • TXMXGRL
    TXMXGRL Posts: 4
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    You do not need them .... It is about being with a person for whom they are .....not what they look like .....I know this for a fact espically where I live the people on the Emerald Coast only care about "looks" and what you can give them it is the sadest thing I have ever seen. I believe it is important to care for yourself keep in mind sometimes people are overweight due to medications and things beyond there control. Make sure you are "ok" with yourself caring about you is the most important (In moderation you know what I mean). Whom ever will fall into place when it is suppose to ...Good Luck and stay strong. The sea is full of people you just have let it come when it is your time.
  • cardiokitten
    cardiokitten Posts: 401 Member
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    Unpopular opinion, but I might give them a chance. My first thought is "piss off!" but when I think about it, personally I wouldn't date a guy who was morbidly obese, I just wouldn't find them sexually attractive, therefore, why date them if I'm not attracted to them? But if he lost weight, I might start to find him attractive in ways more than a friend. It depends.

    And say, when you were 100lbs+ overweight had no self confidence, hated yourself, and were a downer on yourself, you probably would have a lot different of a personality after you lost weight...probably a new bubbly, confident, healthy one.

    It's just something that has a lot of factors to it, I don't think everyone should jump to "No! If he doesn't love you when you're fat, he can't get you when you're skinny!"
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    How would you know that they rejected you because you were overweight? Unless they came out and said it, of course, but most people probably don't say, "No, you're fat," when asked for a date.

    Well that's what I was implying. It doesn't have to be as blunt as that but I have had guys politely come out and say "I'm sorry but I usually date smaller girls."

    Me too, especially since a lot of the guys that were interested were setups where a friend sent them a pic of me... I'm very active and in good shape with a "hourglass" figure, but if you see me next to regular girls I'm broader than most (size 14/16) who run the races and stuff I do. Even though I write these guys "FYI I'm built like a linebacker" they never believe it til they see me. Several times now I've been told, "Wow, I thought you were smaller."

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