Unsupportive friends :(

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135

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  • Louise1583
    Louise1583 Posts: 97 Member
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    "This is what I want to eat today. I don't want any fires."

    I LOL'd, I'm sorry.
  • s1lence
    s1lence Posts: 493
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    They don't seem like very good friends from the way you talk about them. Know that you are taking care of yourself and that when you and your friends get older you are the one that is going to have a healthy body because you are taking care of yourself now, where as they might have problems because they don't see how taking care of themselves isn't just about looks. Stay motivated for yourself and think of all that you have achieved so far. It's hard but ignore what they say, and if they keep tearing you down when you are trying so hard maybe it's time to find new friends that understand this is important to you and respect your decisions.
  • Shaysuki926
    Shaysuki926 Posts: 34 Member
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    Ya know what? It's gonna eventually catch up to them and if they were "real" friends, they would support you all the way. You're making such a big difference in your life for now and also for later on in your life. Forget them. When they start packing on some pounds or have to hit the gym, you can quietly laugh to your self and say, "I told you so." In the meantime, you have all of us on here in your same boat and will support and encourage you all the way! Go Team Healthy!!
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    Stop talking about your "diet" and the gym. Talk about other more important things.




    They are most likely just giving you a little good-natured teasing. Don't assume malevolence. It's almost never reality. Most people mean well and you have to look at it that way.

    ^^This is excellent advice, in my experience. If you have been keeping your fitness journey quiet from them, and they are still ribbing you, maybe it is innocent teasing. At least, I'd like to think that. Maybe just start poking a little fun at yourself, and they will stop.
  • collarbonescollarbones
    collarbonescollarbones Posts: 31 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel, all my friends back home (not the one's hare at uni) are exactly the same! Whenever we're all back together for holidays they always discuss who's lost weight/who's put weight on/who's ordering what when we go out for meals etc. Drives me crazy!
    But like others on here have said, I know that deep down it's because they know they don't have that level of motivation so suuucks to be them! Plus, it obviously show's you're making such good progress! So keep it up lovely!
  • leanandmean2012
    leanandmean2012 Posts: 179 Member
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    That sucks, obviously they are not looking out for u. Just be strong and love urself first, cause if u don't no one else will
  • adavis59
    adavis59 Posts: 285 Member
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    Just as you have decided to make changes in your life and lose weight, perhaps it's time to make more changes in your life and change false friends for real friends. Sometimes a little "house cleaning" in your life is sometimes necessary. One thing we forget when we make the big decision to change our life and lose weight is that we are going to encounter "the haters". Apparently your "friends" need a a fat person around to reassure them of their OWN insecurities. Girl, you have friends here on MFP. You keep doing what you're doing. I'm proud of you, because it takes a person who is sure of themselves to do what you're doing. Don't forget- find real friends who like being with you for who YOU are! :)
  • Ripken818836701
    Ripken818836701 Posts: 607 Member
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    Mybeach, Use those friends as motivation!! One year ago when I told my wife and friends that I wanted a 6-pack ( I was a size 44-46) and was going to start exercising and eating healthy they laughed at me and all took bets on how long I wouldstick to it for.
    Well every time I didnt feel like working out or wanted to eat something bad I used their laughing as motivation.
    Well the saying "" the one who laughs last, laughs best"" is true! Or laughs best and loudest in my case. :happy:
  • ArtGeek22
    ArtGeek22 Posts: 1,429 Member
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    I feel your pain. My advice would be to talk to them. And if they still continue then dump them at the curve.

    A few week ago I decided I to tell my best friend (and I mean BEST FRIEND) about my success so far. So when she came over I was making us some wraps for lunch. I made her a wrap them started to make mine. When I pulled out my scale to weigh the meat for my wrap, she gave me a funny face and said... (these where the exact words of the conversation)

    Friend: "Why are you weighing your meat?"

    Me: "So I now how much I am putting on my wrap."

    Friend: "Why?"

    Me: "Just trying to be more aware about what I am eating."

    Friend: "What are you on a diet or something? (said very judgmentally)"

    Me: "No, I just decided to start eating healthier. And since I have made that decision I have lost 14 pounds. :smile:"

    (WAIT FOR IT!)....

    Friend: "Oh, I didn't notice. Your face is still chubby though! (annoying laugh here)"



    It hurt very badly but I laughed along. You will have to deal with these people who just don't get it and don't realize how big of a a** they are being.

    (actually I am quit the hypocrite here because I still haven't approach her about it yet :embarassed:)



    But just keep going and brush them off. You can do it because you are strong! Also, you have tons of supportive friends here on MFP.



    Keep Calm and Carry On,
    Anna :flowerforyou:


    P.S You are soooo NOT fat!
  • JohnFlevarakis
    JohnFlevarakis Posts: 33
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    I'm in VA ill be your supportive friend/ gym/ an healthy buddy lol
  • nursenessa1
    nursenessa1 Posts: 182 Member
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    Stop talking about your "diet" and the gym. Talk about other more important things.




    They are most likely just giving you a little good-natured teasing. Don't assume malevolence. It's almost never reality. Most people mean well and you have to look at it that way.
  • tkcasta
    tkcasta Posts: 405 Member
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    As harsh as this may sound, it may be time for new friends. No one needs people like that in their lives.
  • Judanjos
    Judanjos Posts: 87
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    Time for new friends. Sometimes changes in our lives reveal a lot of weeds that hang out and literally do us harm. These people may be jealous and if they make you feel bad...then they are no good.
  • DinahKyle
    DinahKyle Posts: 186 Member
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    I finally saw a friend after a year of her being in Japan, she's always been skinny and attractive - I would have thought that she might say SOMETHING - but nothing was said...I'm kindof hurt. She knows that I have been working really hard at it - I don't get it.
  • Dimplybutt
    Dimplybutt Posts: 123 Member
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    Definitely sit down and talk to them and let them know what they're doing is really counter productive and hurtful and that as your friends they should be supporting your lifestyle choices. Real friends will get that it's serious and treat you like a friend should. My guess is that they're just seeing it as a big joke when it's actually a serious matter to you. I know I've been guilty of ripping on friends for stuff instead of being supportive. All it took was a quick chat to sort out :)

    If they still want to carry on after that, well, it says how good friends they really were.

    Big thumbs up with the above! :smile:
  • Bridget28152723
    Bridget28152723 Posts: 372 Member
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    They are probably jealous you are hotter than them! They are getting insecure and want to tear you down, dont let them!!!! Trust me one day they will gain weight and be out of shape its easy to be skinny when you young, You will be one step ahead of them when that time comes...you are doing so good , dont give in . Ask them why they are not supportive of what you are eating etc. ?
  • Donnacoach
    Donnacoach Posts: 540 Member
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    I think that you need to sit them down and explain to them exactly how you feel. If they understand, then they will change and treat you with more respect. If they don't, then honestly are they really friends? Some people just can't make it without making someone else feel like crap. Be honest and if they can't handle it, I would find some new friends. There are lots of great people that go to the gym. Good luck
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
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    Enlarge your circle of friends. Perhaps join a walking group or a healthy journey group with the same mission. Avoid chatting about your diet or gym.

    It is difficult as my journey consumes me. So I know it is difficult.
  • CalJur
    CalJur Posts: 627 Member
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    Lots of support here. Feel free to add me. BTW . . . ditch the term "diet" and substitute "lifestyle" instead. IF your friends are being serious they aren't really your friends. Real friends would be supportive and encourage your healthy choices.
  • ❤B☩❤
    ❤B☩❤ Posts: 634
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    Wow. To me, a true friend is someone who supports you no matter what is going on in your life. They tell you when you're being a jerk, when you need a pep talk, are there when you need a shoulder to cry on, AND they support you when you are making positive changes in your life and help celebrate it...not sabotage you. Sounds like they are a fairly immature group...it may be that you've outgrown them. Sounds like you've come to a crossroads....sometimes getting healthy means getting rid of toxic relationships. You deserve better.


    THIS ☝ WHOLEHEARTEDLY, IN A NUTSHELL!

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