I want to have another baby but.....

Options
1235»

Replies

  • JMarigold
    JMarigold Posts: 232 Member
    Options
    Trust me. There are a lot more adoptable children than childless couples. If there really was a long list of childless couples looking to adopt, then there would be no foster homes. You would not have young adults being dumped on the streets by the foster care system.

    It's not that easy. I have several friends who have gone through it. They ended up adopting from Asia, because there were no healthy newborns in the US.

    Adopting an older child from foster care requires a special family. If you read those descriptions in the paper about the kids who want to be adopted, they often have little phrases like "struggling to overcome feelings of rejection," or, "recommend a home where she will be the youngest or only child." Reactive attachment disorder or fetal alcohol syndrome can be more than parents can handle, let alone younger children.

    You are exactly right. Those children over 1 year of age waiting to be adopted need more love and attention than most kids and it does take a strong person to do this--but maybe if you are a person who really loves kids then it makes it all the more worthwhile?
  • JMarigold
    JMarigold Posts: 232 Member
    Options
    As to the original OP. I'd say if you really want another one. Go ahead now.

    That said, four kids is still a big family. My mother did her best but paying attention to even 4 kids was a huge job and yeah SOME kids from large families may end up feeling neglected and/or unloved at times. I know this from personal experience. Just something to consider.
  • brian1229
    brian1229 Posts: 28
    Options
    How about just enjoying the FOUR kids you have now...
    Thank you! You have enough kids. Four by 24?! Focus on keeping them and yourself happy and healthy
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
    Options
    How about just enjoying the FOUR kids you have now...
    Thank you! You have enough kids. Four by 24?! Focus on keeping them and yourself happy and healthy

    We are all happy and healthy and my kids would love to have another sibling added to the family. But thanks for your input.... I guess.
  • ttaylor68913
    ttaylor68913 Posts: 324 Member
    Options
    I've never heard it but I think if you want another child, you should do it now! You can keep up healthy habits during pregnancy, and then the weight will be easier to lose after you deliver.

    i wish this thing had a like button.... i agree with this!
  • ttaylor68913
    ttaylor68913 Posts: 324 Member
    Options
    How about just enjoying the FOUR kids you have now...
    Thank you! You have enough kids. Four by 24?! Focus on keeping them and yourself happy and healthy

    rude much?! who are you to say she has to many kids
  • ttaylor68913
    ttaylor68913 Posts: 324 Member
    Options
    random though. this is the 2nd "journal" type site i've used.... on the last one it said that 30 min of sexual activity burns about 130 cal use the baby making to aid weight loss?
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
    Options
    random though. this is the 2nd "journal" type site i've used.... on the last one it said that 30 min of sexual activity burns about 130 cal use the baby making to aid weight loss?

    Thanks but I don't think that would apply in my situation b/c my DH does most of the work in the bedroom!!! LOL
  • wish21
    wish21 Posts: 602 Member
    Options
    (BUZZKILL) This world is over populated....you have 4 healthy children. You should feel blessed. There are people out there who cannot have children. There are children starving in orphanages everywhere...I am sorry but I do not support over active procreation just for the sake of doing so...
    ha you said it, not me. :drinker:
    ^ lol - ya your welcome....I'm sure I'l get a *kitten* storm of "you're mean & blah blah...) but I don't care.
    Then before that happens, let me just say I could not agree more.

    Why'd you even comment on here if you "don't care".?
  • beccacoug
    beccacoug Posts: 24
    Options
    I totally understand you wanting to wait to add baby #5. I have 4 also (5, 3 yr old twins, almost 2). When you have them back to back like that, it can be crazy. BUT not as crazy as strangers critisizing your want for another child! People are so strange. Anyway, I tend to agree with some of the other folks. If you want your own baby (and you're not a bad person if you don't choose to adopt or pay crazy amounts of money for someone else to carry), then go for it now. I know my limitations and although I do want one more, one more would put me over the edge! But if you and your husband agree on a baby now, have one! You can work out while you're pregnant. My problem while pregnant was always the food - I'm a marketer's wet dream. It's the only time I have an unbearable craving for junk food! You will eventually lose the weight but may be your only shot for that last little soul! Whatever you decide will be the right choice. Good luck!
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
    Options
    I totally understand you wanting to wait to add baby #5. I have 4 also (5, 3 yr old twins, almost 2). When you have them back to back like that, it can be crazy. BUT not as crazy as strangers critisizing your want for another child! People are so strange. Anyway, I tend to agree with some of the other folks. If you want your own baby (and you're not a bad person if you don't choose to adopt or pay crazy amounts of money for someone else to carry), then go for it now. I know my limitations and although I do want one more, one more would put me over the edge! But if you and your husband agree on a baby now, have one! You can work out while you're pregnant. My problem while pregnant was always the food - I'm a marketer's wet dream. It's the only time I have an unbearable craving for junk food! You will eventually lose the weight but may be your only shot for that last little soul! Whatever you decide will be the right choice. Good luck!

    Thanks : )
  • dimplzz
    dimplzz Posts: 456 Member
    Options
    I only read a few other comments. Only a few negative ones stood out so I skipped the rest... I have 2 children and I was sooo concerned with the same thing between my kids. I was 150's before kids, worked my ars off to get back to my pre pregnancy weight after my first and was like damn... Now I want another baby and I was sooo scared that it would be even harder to lose it the second time around! Not true, if you are focus on your goals now, you can focus on those goals again after having another baby. I say GO FOR IT GIRL!!! If you have the motivation and mind set that you do now with four kids (omg 2 is hard so you are awesome! lol) then I say you will have it again after having another. Just keep your ultimate goals in mind. You will do great! BTW, I am currently at 146 so I have over 10 pounds lighter than the 2nd. :-D
  • IvoryParchment
    IvoryParchment Posts: 651 Member
    Options
    You are exactly right. Those children over 1 year of age waiting to be adopted need more love and attention than most kids and it does take a strong person to do this--but maybe if you are a person who really loves kids then it makes it all the more worthwhile?

    That's very true, but the point is she has four very young children in the house. Not only does a child with RAD or FAS require extra attention, he/she could be dangerous to the other children if not closely supervised.
  • judypriv
    judypriv Posts: 206 Member
    Options
    I had lost some weight right before I got pregnant with my last (she's almost 11 months old) and even though I hated to screw up my weight I knew that at 36 almost 37 (I'm 38 now) that time was running out for me. Here I am weighing MORE then when I had her but losing and getting healthy. I may be 2 years off my GW but I have a lovely child who is the light of my life. She's worth the effort to get back on track now rather then before. My opinion of my experience. PLUS, if you are overweight you don't need to gain much during your pregnancy. I only gained 16 with her and she was 10 lbs and very healthy!
  • cressievargo
    cressievargo Posts: 392 Member
    Options
    How about just enjoying the FOUR kids you have now...

    And how many kids she has is your business why?
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
    Options
    Maybe it's just me, but I cringed at the phrases you used for deciding whether or not to have another baby: "don't want to mess it up now", "screw up everything I've worked so hard for". Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Why would you consider weight gain to sustain another life "messing/screwing up" your progress, especially when faced with the very real possibility of NOT being able to have more? Not trying to be preachy so I apologize if I come off that way. If you really want to have another baby, gaining weight shouldn't be the deciding factor unless your doctor says so. I'm sure you can gain a healthy amount of weight by maintaining the fundamentals you've practiced here - Healthy diet and exercise. Good luck whatever you decide.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
    Options
    (BUZZKILL) This world is over populated....you have 4 healthy children. You should feel blessed. There are people out there who cannot have children. There are children starving in orphanages everywhere...I am sorry but I do not support over active procreation just for the sake of doing so...

    This x a million
  • anna_love
    anna_love Posts: 177
    Options
    Do what ur heart tells u is right !! And by getting pregnant don't mean ur going to mess it up !! Just keep eating healthy a lot of fruit u can also take walks while ur pregnant and can do some yoga for pregnant women :heart: There's many thinks u can do to stay healthy u and ur baby inside u !! Remember this also it will be ur last baby u choice ur diet or ur baby last baby when u can do both at the sometime my mom was eating healthy when see was pregnant of my lil brother who is 6years old and my mother doctor had her in a diet cuz my mom was 42years old and she was in risk having her suger
    Up!! And my mom told me that was her best pregnancy cuz she was really healthy And when my brother was. Born he was really healthy and strong !!!

    Good luck really think about :flowerforyou:

Categories