Friends? I'm Confused

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  • NurseCarolyn2014
    NurseCarolyn2014 Posts: 142
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    I LOVE people and love to gab so no for me its pretty easy...now add a few beers and they all have my phone number, email and are now facebook friends..Im a mess....LOL

    Hmmm......one out of 3 ain't bad, LOL
  • Wreak_Havoc
    Wreak_Havoc Posts: 597
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    I have the exact same problem. I literally have no friends offline, but I do have friends online that I keep in contact with. I don't know what the solution is. I think part of my problem is, that if I don't enjoy someone I am not going to spend time with them. I would rather do my own thing than hang out with someone who annoys me or doesn't share similar interests with me.

    Give the lady a cupie doll! I have one or two offline friends and we barely talk. But I feel more connected to the online folks. And here more than FB! :huh:
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    I don't have many friends IRL because I just always been that type of person (I prefer a very few selected/very small crowd). I get along with everyone and people in general, but I don't go around buddying everyone because that just is not me. But online...I completely just make friends because it seems I am just more compatible with people online then offline, specifically with my MFP friends. I would just some of the ones I talk to often as IRL friends. :flowerforyou:
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    I LOVE people and love to gab so no for me its pretty easy...now add a few beers and they all have my phone number, email and are now facebook friends..Im a mess....LOL

    Hmmm......one out of 3 ain't bad, LOL


    Carolyn if you look real hard you have all 3 silly girl ....
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I think part of my problem is, that if I don't enjoy someone I am not going to spend time with them. I would rather do my own thing than hang out with someone who annoys me or doesn't share similar interests with me.

    This is me. I just cannot pretend that I want to be around people with whom I have nothing in common. I met some girls a month or so ago, and they asked me to meet up with them to see a movie and have dinner the next weekend. So I went. The first thing one of them said to me was "OMG, I forgot to wear a thong! Can you see my pantyline?"

    Are you freaking kidding me? Is this really how women in their late 20s/early 30s talk to each other? If so, I'll stick to hanging out with men. They're pretty much content with not talking at all unless you have something important to say. But that's the story of my life. My best friends have always been guys. I have no complaints about it, though.
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    i think its because when we are younger, its easier to trust people...then the older we get, the more hurt we get by lies and inconsistency and broken trust.
    i have friends from elementary school who i still keep in touch with... but its odd that now...im 33 and i have most of my friends online...and i havent met most of them in real life!

    i think also behind a screen, its actually easier to say things and to share one;s feelings...because so many people feel the same way and are able to support without fear of judgment.
  • prose58
    prose58 Posts: 52
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    Does anyone else feel like it's really easy to make online friends, but not so easy offline?? I have the same personality online as I do offline, and have TONS of online friends. But when it comes to offline friends, not so much. I don't get it. I'm nice to people, I try to help when people need it, and I like doing fun things. . . . so why don't I have many offline friends?

    Seems like the "friends" i have offline only want to be friends with me when it's convenient for them (like when they need something, or have NO ONE else to hang out with).

    Anyone have any insight? Or experience with this?


    Yup same here. I just go and do what I want without others. Their loss.
    Yes. Exactly.
  • OLFATUG
    OLFATUG Posts: 393 Member
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    Beats the crap out of me OP. I have exactly one friend (other than my wife), and whenever we get together it's more like a recipe for disaster.
  • stephstar15
    stephstar15 Posts: 125
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    My experience can be summed up thusly:

    Offline=visual (in other words, people tend to base first impressions and such on visual cues). One can be "disqualified" so to speak before the personality every gets a chance to shine forth

    Online=cerebral (impressions come through words, pictures--not always of the person, sometimes of the person's interests a la Pinterest--rather than through visual appearance).

    I know I intimidate a lot of people in real life because of my size and they are hesitant to get to know me. In actuality, I'm a giant teddy bear with a great laugh and a fabulous personality.

    That can shine through more online because there's not the intimidation factor or the other visual distractors.

    Make sense?

    Totally Agree.
    I also find it hard to get together with my offline friends even though I love them to pieces. I am super busy, and my kids come first when I am not working. it seems sometimes I have to take a trip out of town with a friend to really get to visit with them.
    Online friends are great, but a few minutes writing to them fits into my day well, I do not know if I met most of them offline, would we really clique? Hmmmm. Something to ponder.
  • xo_morgan
    xo_morgan Posts: 298
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    I LOVE people and love to gab so no for me its pretty easy...now add a few beers and they all have my phone number, email and are now facebook friends..Im a mess....LOL

    haha dittoo. im the life of the party when theres alcohol involved. im a little more reserved when sober but not much. im still very outgoing. so i dont find it too hard to make friends. I think its stupid when people already have their "group" established. youre never too old for new friends.
  • NNAhuja
    NNAhuja Posts: 669 Member
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    Does anyone else feel like it's really easy to make online friends, but not so easy offline?? I have the same personality online as I do offline, and have TONS of online friends. But when it comes to offline friends, not so much. I don't get it. I'm nice to people, I try to help when people need it, and I like doing fun things. . . . so why don't I have many offline friends?

    Seems like the "friends" i have offline only want to be friends with me when it's convenient for them (like when they need something, or have NO ONE else to hang out with).

    Anyone have any insight? Or experience with this?
    I feel the same way! Majority of the friends i have are ones I met online and therefore tend to live far away. The ones I meet offline tend to be users.
  • Kityngirl
    Kityngirl Posts: 14,332 Member
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    I'm actually only slightly better at making friends online than offline....and that isn't saying much. Seems like all of my offline friends have pretty much browbeaten me into becoming friends too...hmmm. I think I may be entirely too difficult to get to know. :laugh:
  • RachelGraceReed83
    RachelGraceReed83 Posts: 133 Member
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    I have found that most people already have a 'core group' of friends, and don't like to let others in that circle.


    ^^^this

    I find it hard to make friends as well... I was homeschooled and lived a pretty sheltered life so I have no friends from school or my childhood. The town I live in now is kind of small and everyone here grew up together and they've all known each other since they were in elementary school and they aren't looking to make new friends. :(
  • MotorCityFemmeFatale
    MotorCityFemmeFatale Posts: 222 Member
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    Must be age ... since I moved to MI, I have 0, zip, natta. But I'm fairly guarded and must have to high of standards ... I don't care for people who sleep around (tell me how badly they want "Mr. right" and a commited relationship and then sleep with any guy on the first date), bar hop every weekend (I'm not into the bar scene), do drugs (mostly pot smokers), etc.
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,556 Member
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    Bump
  • NurseCarolyn2014
    NurseCarolyn2014 Posts: 142
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    I LOVE people and love to gab so no for me its pretty easy...now add a few beers and they all have my phone number, email and are now facebook friends..Im a mess....LOL

    Hmmm......one out of 3 ain't bad, LOL


    Carolyn if you look real hard you have all 3 silly girl ....

    Actually Lori you are right........the private investigator I hired to stalk you just gave me ALL the info :laugh:
  • cookieta76
    cookieta76 Posts: 91 Member
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    i dont have any real life friends.. it would be nice to have someone to go to lunch with and who i could have some sort of bond with.

    my husbands friends all have wives that are wonderful people, we just have different ideas on what a good time is. i dont like shopping, i dont enjoy listening to people ***** about their husbands, and i really have no patience for gossip.

    i figure i have my husband, hes the best friend i could ever have, so not having more real life friends doesnt really bother me.

    I can definitely relate to this. I'm not a social shopper, I hate gossip and I cannot sit and have conversations about make up, mani-pedis or even fashion. Yet on the other hand, I do love fashion and shoes and looking cute! :)
    When my husband and I got to parties, I'd rather hang out with the guys rather the women. The guys are much more relaxed, open, non-judgmental - and fun! I also do not live where I grew up, so making new friends is hard - I think adults can be more clique-ish than teenagers sometimes!
    I'm happy with a few close friends from high school, but those relationships are unfortunately long distance until I visit my family back home. Right now, my husband and I have so much fun together, I'm happy with that. But I do miss the fun times with a few girlfriends.
  • Emabo
    Emabo Posts: 125 Member
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    Tend to not make friends well in both areas.. except I tend to be an introvert.
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
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    Im fairly social.. so I have a lot of people that know me.


    However, there are only a few that I consider real, close friends.
    I consider myself lucky for having a handful of real friends, considering I have literally had 100s of friends over the years. It takes a lot of trial and error to get that many people you can truly trust.


    I think the key is to go out there and meet people, hang out... and if they are the kind of people you dont want to be around, just stop calling them and call others. yes that means you're dropping them as a friend, but thats by your choice.. and if its based off their behavior their fault.... if that makes sense.
    basically, if someone is talking *kitten* about other people all the time, i can safely assume they do the same about me when im not around. If someone is lying, cheating, stealing to others... they will do the same to you. etc.

    trust is earned, not given. friendship is a form of trust.

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