Bad Parents.....

Options
nray3119
nray3119 Posts: 100 Member
in Chit-Chat
Just a little vent. Soon to be ex husband's son moved back in with his mom about 10 months ago. He left us at 75lbs and he is 11 yrs old. Right now he is 150 lbs and just got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I have been told that he is none of my business and I cant have an opinion so I thought I would vent here. Who lets their kid get to that point. I know my mom always forced diets on me and I hated it, but there has to be a time where you step back and realize you are hurting your kids by not stepping in.
«134

Replies

  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    Wow! I'm so sorry to hear that about your stepson. I'll be praying for him. Surely, God will intervene somehow.
  • _HeathBar_
    _HeathBar_ Posts: 902 Member
    Options
    That's really sad.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
    Options
    The only thing I will suggest is to contact child services, this is a form of abuse, and should not be left in their care.
  • michellelhartwig
    michellelhartwig Posts: 498 Member
    Options
    Wow! I'm so sorry to hear that about your stepson. I'll be praying for him. Surely, God will intervene somehow.

    I'll also pray for all of you! I hope that you will find some peace...I also agree that it is hard to see a child get so heavy in such a short amount of time. Does he have a medical condition that would cause such extreme weight gain?
  • RVfrog
    RVfrog Posts: 213 Member
    Options
    The only thing I will suggest is to contact child services, this is a form of abuse, and should not be left in their care. I agree with this post. I'd say the child is really unhappy and eating to deal with some issues. Just my 2 cents worth
  • samandlucysmum
    samandlucysmum Posts: 320
    Options
    The only thing I will suggest is to contact child services, this is a form of abuse, and should not be left in their care.

    Agree, but do you know the full story? Has he got health issues that have made him put on weight? At the end of the day, vent on here, and let them get on with it, someone in authority will notice sooner or later.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
    Options
    The only thing I will suggest is to contact child services, this is a form of abuse, and should not be left in their care.

    There is NO way to know that unless you're there day in day out. My sister became VERY overweight for a period of time when she was around 10 or 11. If somebody came to our house they would see a very healthy household, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, involved parents, not a lot of candy or treats around, and absolutely no reason to accuse anybody of child abuse. My sister became overweight because she was inactive and because she ate junk at school and at friends' houses.

    Now, I don't know anything about this situation, as not a whole lot of background info was provided, but I think it warrants quite a bit more information before we can start playing the blame game.
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,283 Member
    Options
    The only thing I will suggest is to contact child services, this is a form of abuse, and should not be left in their care.

    this is going to start *kitten* but whatver...

    I do NOT agree with kids being taken away from parents because of the weight/feeding issue.

    EDUCATE the kids and parents, monitor them.. give them tools and resources to use. Give them access to cooking classes etc to make healthier meals for the family. Taking the child is putting a band-aid over a gunshot wound.
  • Marley112586
    Marley112586 Posts: 168 Member
    Options
    Thats horrible! My step father in law's daughter is 12 and 180 lbs. He's big into fitness and it embarrasses him I think. Because hes always asking her hows her diet going and all that and she just rolls her eyes. Her mother is large too so I guess theres no example set. Why is it none of your business? Are you not allowed to care for your stepson? I would be super pissed if my husband told me his son was none of my business cause I love him too. If I were you I would just try to set a good example for him when hes with you.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    The only thing I will suggest is to contact child services, this is a form of abuse, and should not be left in their care.

    this is going to start *kitten* but whatver...

    I do NOT agree with kids being taken away from parents because of the weight/feeding issue.

    EDUCATE the kids and parents, monitor them.. give them tools and resources to use. Give them access to cooking classes etc to make healthier meals for the family. Taking the child is putting a band-aid over a gunshot wound.

    I could not agree with you more. Everybody's immediate answer is to remove the child from the home, but no one considers the psychological harm that does to the child. It is not as if he thinks he is being abused or mistreated.
  • MrsRadder
    MrsRadder Posts: 207 Member
    Options
    Contact child services under most state laws that would be considered abuse. There is no need to say anything the the parents, because well it's not your place. Make a call get the authorizes involved. That's all you can do. Talking about it will only add stress to an already stressful situation. Divorce,change in parents, a different home, etc. this all effects kids just as much as they do adults. Make the call. Sorry for you situation.
  • Marley112586
    Marley112586 Posts: 168 Member
    Options
    The only thing I will suggest is to contact child services, this is a form of abuse, and should not be left in their care. I agree with this post. I'd say the child is really unhappy and eating to deal with some issues. Just my 2 cents worth

    What? Yes, lets take the child away from the people that love him and throw him into a depression so he only gets bigger. Genius idea!
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,283 Member
    Options
    Thats horrible! My step father in law's daughter is 12 and 180 lbs. He's big into fitness and it embarrasses him I think. Because hes always asking her hows her diet going and all that and she just rolls her eyes. Her mother is large too so I guess theres no example set. Why is it none of your business? Are you not allowed to care for your stepson? I would be super pissed if my husband told me his son was none of my business cause I love him too. If I were you I would just try to set a good example for him when hes with you.

    It's her "soon to be ex-husband''s son" with another woman.
    I'll be damned if my husband's ex tried to tell me what to feed MY kids and then came online talking about me? No thanks.
  • SomeMorr
    SomeMorr Posts: 220 Member
    Options
    From my own experience of being that big as a child, it was terrible. I luckily did not have diabetes or any other major medical problems. I felt embarassed, inadequate, and thought I would never date growing up (I never actually did date until I was 18 and started to lose weight and gain confidence). My parent's had their own issues with food and did not know how else to deal with feelings other than to eat.. Someone needs to say something, if you are the one to say something she may get offended but you care about the boy. He will grow into an obese adult and have less chance at a healthy lifestyle if it doesn't change now.
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,283 Member
    Options
    Ok, I quit this thread.

    6743345_7460.jpg
  • Marley112586
    Marley112586 Posts: 168 Member
    Options
    Thats horrible! My step father in law's daughter is 12 and 180 lbs. He's big into fitness and it embarrasses him I think. Because hes always asking her hows her diet going and all that and she just rolls her eyes. Her mother is large too so I guess theres no example set. Why is it none of your business? Are you not allowed to care for your stepson? I would be super pissed if my husband told me his son was none of my business cause I love him too. If I were you I would just try to set a good example for him when hes with you.

    It's her "soon to be ex-husband''s son" with another woman.
    I'll be damned if my husband's ex tried to tell me what to feed MY kids and then came online talking about me? No thanks.

    Oh sorry miss read. Yeah its not your place to say anything.
  • maglodee
    maglodee Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    You know, this could be a severe response to depression. Your separation from his Dad, moving back in with his Mom, etc. I'm only aware of this because I have an 11 year old who is close to me that is on Cymbalta to combat depression, and often in kids it presents as sudden weight gain. FYI, the doctor of this kid missed the depression diagnosis. It was only at the insistence of his mother that he got to a specialist and it was caught.

    I'm not defending the Mom, but 11 year old's know how to get food, if they really want it. To double his weight in 10 months is very severe, and perhaps his Dad should be looking into mental illness and not just a physical one. His GP may have caught the diabetes, but sometimes doctors don't see the mental illness as clearly.

    I wish him the very best of luck in the world. I hope you feel better by venting a little. I'd be as pissed off as you, so I completely understand. Good luck to you too, my friend.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
    Options
    The only thing I will suggest is to contact child services, this is a form of abuse, and should not be left in their care.

    this is going to start *kitten* but whatver...

    I do NOT agree with kids being taken away from parents because of the weight/feeding issue.

    EDUCATE the kids and parents, monitor them.. give them tools and resources to use. Give them access to cooking classes etc to make healthier meals for the family. Taking the child is putting a band-aid over a gunshot wound.

    I could not agree with you more. Everybody's immediate answer is to remove the child from the home, but no one considers the psychological harm that does to the child. It is not as if he thinks he is being abused or mistreated.

    Thank you. Always so quick to call the authorities to take other people's children away. First it was because of abuse a VERY good reason for children to be taken from the home. Next people want to extend that to overweight children, then they'll want to take kids away if their parents smoke, after that any kid caught saying a naughty word can be yanked from their parents and placed in a re-education camp....

    Do all of you really think that foster homes are wonderful places to be raised in?

    Try to get the kid to eat healthy and exercise. It's all you can really do. Best of luck to you.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    Coincidentally, obesity is not the only cause of diabetes. Maybe this kid was just genetically predisposed.
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    Options
    This could be all part of emotional eating... my sis has always done emotional eating - only got worse when my parents divorced... no matter how much my mom would try to control it she was like a ninja when it came to food...

    You have a valid concern - however, there isn't much that you can do. I really don't think that his parents don't care, perhaps they are just not educated enough to deal with the situation in a correct manner. We live in a society where all is treated with medication instead of trying to find the root of the problem...

Categories